why las vegas is better than burningman

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:07 pm

* while you're desperately trying to find the toilet, no one will ever accost you and finish the one-sided conversation with, "what happens at burning man, stays at burning man".

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:26 pm

[on an aside: the elevator at the venetian opened up this morning to reveal a red-haired gentleman in a wheel chair with his servant. it was mister larry flynt and his bodyguard, alone. the bodyguard asked me to take the next elevator down. i'm not usually star-stuck, but when you meet your primary first amendment hero so randomly, you do exactly what is asked of you. i stepped back and gave mr flint my best thumb up. and i don't think he even really noticed] ... this actually happened today.

* you won't find larry flynt in an elevator at burningman.

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:35 pm

you won't find larry flint in an elevator at burningman.

Thank Dawg!

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:40 pm

* where those who fight for your first amendment rights come to hang out. at burningman your mileage will vary along with the other pussies.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:55 pm

If you win consistently in vegas, are you still banned for "cheating, ie winning", with the cooperation of the state officials?

What more does anyone need to know about gambling?

Should I mention the most pathetic and desperate catchphrase ever?

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:05 pm

* no mandatory vehicle inspection at the city limits. thus, your top shelf booze won't be stolen by the 'gatekeepers' while the princess with the clipboard distracts you and leads you back to the cab of your rig. [WTTW: never let anyone from the gate crew inspect your rig while you're not watching them. you will lose many choice items to these thieves if you're not watching the scumbags].

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:09 pm

willymilly:
please post your eplaya name clearly on you vehicle when you approach the gate.......

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:17 pm

Mr. Willy:
I'm not the "fact police", but I have a hunch you are going to need facts to back up that accusation up.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:21 am

We may have squeezed this joke dry already.

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 11:23 am

willymilly wrote:* no mandatory vehicle inspection at the city limits. thus, your top shelf booze won't be stolen by the 'gatekeepers' while the princess with the clipboard distracts you and leads you back to the cab of your rig. [WTTW: never let anyone from the gate crew inspect your rig while you're not watching them. you will lose many choice items to these thieves if you're not watching the scumbags].

Which is why we travel in packs and hide our booze at the bottom of the trailer, leaving the $4 vodka and PBR on top as decoys.

Like Vegas doesn't have thieves...

Roberto Dobbisano · Post by **Roberto Dobbisano** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 12:03 pm

there are no toothless, black, crack whores at Burning Man,

yet.

perhaps you could loan us one of yours, willimillivanilli.

TalkHardRandy · Post by **TalkHardRandy** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 2:55 pm

* while you're desperately trying to find the toilet, no one will ever accost you and finish the one-sided conversation with, "what happens at burning man, stays at burning man".
They just accost you and try to get you to go see Rita Rudner and all you have to do is watch a time share video.

* you won't find larry flynt in an elevator at burningman.
No, he's ususally sitting at Critical Tits.

* where those who fight for your first amendment rights come to hang out. at burningman your mileage will vary along with the other pussies.
When Oscar Goodman told the national press that taggers should have their thumbs cut off - he did it wrapped in an American flag.

* no mandatory vehicle inspection at the city limits. thus, your top shelf booze won't be stolen by the 'gatekeepers' while the princess with the clipboard distracts you and leads you back to the cab of your rig.
No, vehicle inspections come when you leave Las Vegas. And hotels encourage you to bring your own booze by adding on a tax if they find it in your room... or you can buy it in the lobby at a 150% markup.

TalkHardRandy · Post by **TalkHardRandy** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 2:59 pm

AntiM wrote: Like Vegas doesn't have thieves...

We like to call them "entrepreneurial borrowers of other people's things"... or hospitality workers

Roberto Dobbisano wrote:there are no toothless, black, crack whores at Burning Man,

yet.

But what an amazing concept for a theme camp - CRACKLAND! It's horribly wrong from the get go and can only get worse.

Risky · Post by **Risky** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 3:02 pm

Just got back from Vegas.

I found 67 oz bottles of beer there.
Can't seem to find them anywhere else.

(But I'd rather be on the playa)

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 4:47 pm

* 'bigger is better' fits within the overall context of the extravagance of the city. bigger and bigger structures/art at burningman are simply dwarfed by the vast desert, and have no real context. the only purpose of the massive structures/art at burningman is to make the specators feel small by comparison, and in awe of the curators' power to produce these fucking things... like cathedrals.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:30 am

willymilly wrote:* and in awe of the curators' power to produce these fucking things... like cathedrals.

Like yer mom

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:27 am

* you are never 'vibed' or talked down to by those who produce and maintain the spectical of the city. this is because those people are paid for the jobs they do, and take pride in their work (mostly).

at burningman, the primary return for the time & labor of the volunteers is inclusion into an exclusive community, creating a caste system. the boundries of this exclusive community would otherwise be invisible (and thus defeated) if the beast didn't strive to attract attention to itself. rather than money being exchanged for time & labor, what is doled out is a chemical cocktail released within the brain of the volunteer every time the volunteer is made to feel superior to what the volunteer views as a 'spectator'. the addiction to this drug - these junkies who give you a hard time at burningman, is the cause of certain grief that you won't experience in las vegas.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 10:16 am

Luckily, Las Vegas is a haven for Socialists and all are equal.

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:33 pm

* athoritarian personality types don't run around pretending to be anarchists

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:52 pm

In Las Vegas if your unknowingly hitting on some guys girlfriend you're gonna get a tooth knocked out.

At Burning Man, you'd be asked to stop or possibly asked to join a three-sum.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:54 pm

Tunnel People!
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... d=97800190
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/24/vegas. ... rss_latest
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/24/vegas. ... rss_latest

http://satanscity.blogspot.com/2007_07_01_archive.html

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:27 pm

* engenders a bitterness which requires picking the scabs of disappointment repeatedly, endlessly, without healing.

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 8:16 am

* celebrates its origins. isn't afraid of its own history.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 8:21 am

*circque de soliel has a new show out called Le Helco, Je Reconnait...

TalkHardRandy · Post by **TalkHardRandy** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 12:21 pm

* you are never 'vibed' or talked down to by those who produce and maintain the spectical of the city.
Wouldn't want the tourists to feel bad about putting their retirement and children's college fund into "Little Green Men".

* athoritarian personality types don't run around pretending to be anarchists

They're too busy pretending to care about your well being.

* celebrates its origins.
Hells yes - we're getting ready to build a mob museum to celebrate all the good that Bugsy Siegal brought to this oasis in the desert... like hookers & money laundrying.

isn't afraid of its own history.
We embrace our history... and if the embrace gets too awkward, we blow the damn thing up & put 'new' history over it.

H.G.Crosby · Post by **H.G.Crosby** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 1:48 pm

we blow the damn thing up & put 'new' history over it.

ah, something we can all agree on.

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 5:00 pm

* google doesn't have offices in las vegas

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 9:54 pm

Homiesinheaven wrote:yeah bro, the chicks are like totally hotter. and they walk around in heels like no problemo as opposed to those playa hippies who are "above" wearing heels. wtf? who needs that shit when i'm just looking for a good time ya know? my frat bros and i had no trouble scoring mounds of coke last time we were in vegas. we were raaaaaaaaaaging. but it was so hard to get drugs at BM!!! who needs all the hassle and dust anyway? dude, let's like, totally split a hooker next time we go! i'll see if i can hook it up and put it on my daddy's credit card. party on!

Uh, did I tell you my DAD owns a DEALERSHIP?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:17 am

willymilly wrote:* google doesn't have offices in las vegas

because no one who works for google will agree to live there.

sallyLM · Post by **sallyLM** » Sun Apr 04, 2010 9:15 am

* is more than being just a little bit better than a typical frat party

* doesn't suck itself off and call the jizz in its mouth a "movement"