SEX ON THE PLAYA

Share your views on the policies, philosophies, and spirit of Burning Man.

is having sex on the playa o.k.?

s'o.k.!
82
38%
s'o.k.!
82
38%
don't give a shit
22
10%
don't give a shit
22
10%
hell no!
4
2%
hell no!
4
2%
 
Total votes: 216

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nayfie
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SEX ON THE PLAYA

Post by nayfie » Sat Jan 28, 2006 12:58 pm

i saw 5 different couples on the playa having sex.

i didn't really care at the time, but i was just wondering if anybody else cares. i mean i do have an 11 year old daughter, but she was not at the event. had she been and was with me at the times, i probably wouldn't have been too happy. i was wondering if people who bring their kids to BM are concerned. yes theres naked people around, but thats totally different. these people were doing the nasty....

i'm all for having a good time....but...........................
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the fire elf
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Post by the fire elf » Sat Jan 28, 2006 1:38 pm

you've stumbled onto a more primal form of humanity

this growing culture is more in tune with the natural world and ways of being in it

many are the aspects of sexual distortions rampant since the fall of mankind

they are finally being dissolved after aeons of quarrel and hypocrisy
i saw 5 different couples on the playa having sex.
consider it a five-fold blessing
had she been and was with me at the times, i probably wouldn't have been too happy.
it's your dream...do with it what you like...

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Kinetic IV
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Post by Kinetic IV » Sat Jan 28, 2006 2:39 pm

Not to get technical but you touched on a possible angle of kids seeing things they shouldn't.... Where were you when you saw things happening and what time of day? The BMORG has really made the effort to put up kid friendly and adult friendly zones so the two worlds don't collide much. They also do a great job with Kidsville which helps give the kids a safe place to be...I honestly can't say enough good things about ALL of the people involved with Kidsville. Anyway back on topic if this was happening right on the Esplanade at 2 pm that's one thing, if it's 2 am in the deep playa or in a camp somewhere it's another story.
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nayfie
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Post by nayfie » Sat Jan 28, 2006 5:38 pm

2 instances were in fact deep playa during the wee hours. no big deal.

1 was at around 9am on an art installation between 3 o'clock and esplanade and the man.

1 was at 5-6:00pm just past the portapotties at catharsis and 2o'clock

1 was on an art car during the burn.

i am well aware of kidsville and BMs policies on kids. i am considering bringing my daughter this year but have been reconsidering. i would like to be able to take her out to see all the playa art without her seeing people having sex and becoming uncomfortable. not to mention the trouble i would be in with her mother. (we are separated) i have come to think it would be better to take her when she's older. it's a shame too because she really wants to go. i'm sure i can camp in kidsville and she would be fine with that, theres just so much more to see.

please understand i'm not trying to bag on anybody's good time. i am just trying to get a general idea of the community's stance on this subject. i'm trying to make a more informed decision about bringing my daughter.
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Chai Guy
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Post by Chai Guy » Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:21 pm

I think the fact that you saw 5 people having sex kind of gives you the community's stance on it. Right?


Secondly, and I've said this a million times already but...

Do not, repeat DO NOT bring your child to the event unless he/she is accompanied by both parents or you have written & signed permission to do so and said permission includes a description and explanation of the event. [/u]

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the fire elf
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...

Post by the fire elf » Sat Jan 28, 2006 7:07 pm

don't underestimate the power of a large group of dedicated individuals
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President Brown
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Post by President Brown » Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:05 pm

Well, its all about YOUR stance on the subject. Do YOU want your 11 year old daughter seeing people doing what is only natural(but best kept out of site)? I would say 11 is a little young. Wait until they are ATLEAST 15. You also have to know your child. Does you child do drugs, drink, masturbate, have sex, ect, ect....what you have to ask yourself is "is my child mature enough" are they going to come crying and shocked if they see two (maybe more) people fucking? Are they going to freak out when they see naked purple people. You child has to be ready and prepared for what they will see.
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Chai Guy
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Post by Chai Guy » Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:11 pm

I wouldn't so much be worried about how freaked out your child would be, but about how freaked out your child's teachers, and friend's parents will be when they come home telling them all about how they spent their summer vacation on the playa.

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Post by webdaemon » Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:08 pm

my first burn was last year '05. i was 14 at the time i have since turned 15 (jan 13 is my bday) and i saw some "interesting" activites. in cluding nudity and sex and drugs and basically things that are "taboo" in modern society. i was accompanied by my brother who at the time was 11 hes now 12, and my father hes 62. my dad is... for lack of a better word "unusual". hes an amazing guy (he did take me to burning man). we camped in kidsville, i didnt hang around i wandered the playa and did my own thing; made friends, stayed hydraded, partied the night away, had a grand time all over. my brother loved kidsville and the people there are incredible, there are potluck dinners everynight i think... and a trampoline (spelling might be off) and much more, i didnt spend much time so im not certian. but i believe your kid will like it. i know a few people who will be in kidsville and i think my dad and little brother will camp there also. im probably gonna camp with a few friends. send me a PM or hit me up via e-mail and we can talk more.


webdaemon666@gmail.com

:o 8) :P

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gladeye
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Post by gladeye » Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:36 am

Webdaemon seems to be pretty centered, intelligent, and articulate, but I think for a lot of kids going through all their major emotional, physical, and psychological changes, it could be intense. I noticed that at a lot of nude beaches in Europe I would see naked kids and naked women, but very rarely naked teens. Somehow I think the same about BM. Fine for well managed kids and adults, but not so sure about teens. But fuck it. Every kid is different and it's only a parent's responsibility to know what their kid can handle.
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we0ne
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Post by we0ne » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:34 pm

Nayfie,

Last year was my first burn and my partner and I went with our 3 year old. We did a lot of reading, talked to others that had been before and spent a significant amount of time chatting with other families on the yahoo email group before the event. We, meaning my son too, saw alot of things that peaked his curiosity, including some people engaging in sexual acts. When we came upon this, which was very rare, I didn't make a big deal, but also didn't slow down to take in a long look either. If I saw it first, I diverted his attention as best I could, but the key for him was our reaction. At 3, his response was often just that people were naked and wondering how other womens breast milk might taste. I wouldn't think of suggesting that the adults at Burning Man curb their behaviour because I chose to bring my child. Kidsville is a very fun and safe place for children to camp, where there is lots of nudity, but no open sex or drugs, but anywhere else, all bets are off. If I come across something that I don't want my son to see, than it's up to me to make a quick exit and talk about it with him after. I realize there is a huge difference between 3 and 11. I can't say if I will bring my son when he's 11 because I don't know him at that stage in his life yet. I will leave you with this:
1. Consider hooking up with the kidsville email group (if you haven't already)

2. Plan on camping in Kidsville this year if you bring your daughter (there are lots of kids her age there).

3. If you havn't had much discussion with your daughter about nudity, sex, drugs, alcohol etc - don't leave it until your on the playa, smack dab in the middle of it to start those chats with her.

Have you asked her if she wants to go? Does she have any preconceived notions of what to expect?

Good luck with your decision. If you decide to bring her, look us up in kidsville, we are the Yukoners.

Cheers!
We0ne

XS
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Yeah, ok.... so what's the problem?....

Post by XS » Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:52 pm

"these people were doing the nasty.... "

Some people call it making love.

I can understand your concern about exposing your child to adult situations. The burn is chock full of 'em. I'm not a parent, so I can't say from personal experience, but how well prepared we are upon arrival extends beyond having enough food, water, shelter, comfy clothes, etc...

When bringing a child to the playa, open and honest discussion should be included. I wouldn't wait until you happen upon some folks engaged in sex, to break out the 'birds and bees pamphlet.'

Kidsville is the best bet for a safer, more supportive family environment at BRC. The most important thing is to have a great time, and returning home with fond memories, rather than emotional scars.

BRC is not Orlando.

Thank god.
Too much is never enough.

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Re: SEX ON THE PLAYA

Post by MrMullen » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:17 pm

nayfie wrote:i saw 5 different couples on the playa having sex.

i didn't really care at the time, but i was just wondering if anybody else cares. i mean i do have an 11 year old daughter, but she was not at the event. had she been and was with me at the times, i probably wouldn't have been too happy. i was wondering if people who bring their kids to BM are concerned. yes theres naked people around, but thats totally different. these people were doing the nasty....

i'm all for having a good time....but...........................

What bugs me about this post is that people are worried about their 11 year old seeing people having sex. You know, Burningman is an event where you might see someone having sex, which is perfectly fine. Yes, I know it's against the law, but it's Burningman and I like to still think it is in that bubble of few enforced laws.

If you are afraid of your young one seeing naked people on the Playa, then please don't take them to Burningman. I, for one, like my Burningman how it is, naked and sexed up. If you want a kid friendly event, please goto Disneyland.

On a side note, I would like to see Burningman become a 18 and older only event only, but that is unlikely to happen.
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EspressoDude
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Sex is ART

Post by EspressoDude » Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:01 pm

Sex between two peple is a form of art, and an art. It is something that will be seen at Burningman, so keep those that are to immature (no matter what chronological age), to see people making love,sex,art at home
Is 4 shots enuff? no foo-foo drinks; just naked Espresso
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HughMungus
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Re: SEX ON THE PLAYA

Post by HughMungus » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:31 pm

MrMullen wrote:
nayfie wrote:i saw 5 different couples on the playa having sex.

i didn't really care at the time, but i was just wondering if anybody else cares. i mean i do have an 11 year old daughter, but she was not at the event. had she been and was with me at the times, i probably wouldn't have been too happy. i was wondering if people who bring their kids to BM are concerned. yes theres naked people around, but thats totally different. these people were doing the nasty....

i'm all for having a good time....but...........................

What bugs me about this post is that people are worried about their 11 year old seeing people having sex. You know, Burningman is an event where you might see someone having sex, which is perfectly fine. Yes, I know it's against the law, but it's Burningman and I like to still think it is in that bubble of few enforced laws.

If you are afraid of your young one seeing naked people on the Playa, then please don't take them to Burningman. I, for one, like my Burningman how it is, naked and sexed up. If you want a kid friendly event, please goto Disneyland.

On a side note, I would like to see Burningman become a 18 and older only event only, but that is unlikely to happen.
While I agree with everything you said (particularly about it being 18+ onlly), unfortunately there are considerations outside of the event itself that have to be taken into account. The OP might have no problem with his children seeing people having sex but what happens when they return to Hometown, USA and they mention to their friends what they saw. Their friends tell their parents. The parents contact (pick one) the school, child protective services, the police.

Similarly, what Chai said is super important. One reason it's so important to get the expressed written consent of both parents is because if the parents are divorced or if they get divorced, they might use Burning Man as a "reason" in a custody battle as to why the other parent is unfit (despite what we all know about ourselves to the contrary). A similar thing happened to one of our local burners. [Edit: Oops, Chai already mentiond that, too]
It's what you make it.

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Apollonaris Zeus
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Post by Apollonaris Zeus » Tue Mar 07, 2006 5:35 am

I say stone the fuckers!!!!

If you can find a stone?

AIIZ

ps- then beat your child in case they became excited!

there's nothing like associating pain with sex.

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robbidobbs
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Post by robbidobbs » Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:48 am

In our culture, it's perfectly acceptable to watch someone be shot, stabbed, blungeoned, hit by a car, etc.
Odd that the market for slasher films is teenage girls (no cites, I just read that somewhere).
Last night I watched X-files and people got shot. It was very bloody.

But in our culture, it's not ok to watch two consenting adults making love.

Hmmm.

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Post by freakersedge » Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:12 pm

With all culural issues its best to imagine in your own mind why such taboos exist. I can imagine that those who enjoy watching violence never imagine themselves as the victims and those who dislike the portrayal of sex, imagine themselves as the ultimate studmuffin and are jealous? The only thing we need worry about is getting to the point where we are all victims and this site works to insure that never happens.

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BigCock
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Post by BigCock » Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:25 pm

robbidobbs wrote:In our culture, it's perfectly acceptable to watch someone be shot, stabbed, blungeoned, hit by a car, etc.
Odd that the market for slasher films is teenage girls (no cites, I just read that somewhere).
Last night I watched X-files and people got shot. It was very bloody.

But in our culture, it's not ok to watch two consenting adults making love.

Hmmm.
Cmon, who wants to watch someone getting killed live? In a movie maybe, but not live. Some people like watching people get down live. (Whether or not it's "ok." I remember in 2002 there was a camp with a curtained bed with peep holes) There aren't any video stores dedicated to shootings or stabbings, etc. But there are at least 5 stores within a mile of my house dedicated to porno vids.

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Post by freakersedge » Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:45 am

Big,

We have had two porno houses fail with-in five miles of where I live... So perhaps even watching sex gets old?

freaker
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the fire elf
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...

Post by the fire elf » Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:20 pm

So perhaps even watching sex gets old?
at the event, with the emphasis placed on participation, it seems to me that there's ample fresh territory
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the fire elf
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Post by the fire elf » Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:37 pm

freakersedge wrote:We have had two porno houses fail with-in five miles of where I live...
not too surprising in the dawning of the age of 'free-porn'
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Kinetic IV
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Re: ...

Post by Kinetic IV » Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:47 pm

the fire elf wrote:
freakersedge wrote:We have had two porno houses fail with-in five miles of where I live...
not too surprising in the dawning of the age of 'free-porn'
Free...maybe until you add in the cost for the anti-virus, anti-spyware suites you need to remove all the junk you get with it, then there's that little problem of what info the spyware gave back to the Ruskies that lets them fund organized crime syndicates thanks to your checking account info they ripped off....

What was that about free again?

As to why the smut shacks failed I'd bet it's due to either one or a combination of: overpricing, pathetic inventory, a hateful snot behind the counter, and lack of other amenities to draw people in. While the inventory is different some of the business fundamentals are still the same.
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Post by freakersedge » Sat Mar 11, 2006 7:01 pm

K4,

What is funny about porn and other objectionable offerings on the web is that they still keep trying to hook the unwary and succeed. Whatever happened to the idea that America is the police of the world? Oh, perhaps that means we only can attack entire countries with the idea of making them subservient ro the grossness we imagine as being natural. It hasn't excaped me that gross also means ones entire income as well as something objectionable, has it anyone else?

freaker
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Melvynman
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Post by Melvynman » Wed Aug 09, 2006 5:11 pm

This topic comes up every year and I tell my story every year. My son was between 3rd and 4ht grade when this happen. The kid comes back to camp about mid morning with his friend. They are red faced and very excited. They jump off their bikes and announce that they have seen sex! I ask them what they saw and they describe two people naked rolling around and kissing. I told my son we would talk during lunch. At lunch I whipped my 4th grade sex education book that I brought in case I needed to explain sex. We read the book from cover to cover during lunch. A few hours later he comes back and announces that he is never going to have sex. I tell the kid will see after puberty. My kid will turn sixteen this year at the burn and his been eleven times, doesn’t do drugs and pretty sure hasn’t had sex yet. I remind him all the time about him never going to have sex. Burningman is the perfect place to discuss sex, drugs and tolerance with kids.

PS. The kids don't care about sex.

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Lorgasm
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Post by Lorgasm » Wed Aug 09, 2006 5:20 pm

My mom use to teach sex ed to area schools while I was a teenager. I would sit in most of her classes. Just for kicks I'd raise my hand and ask the silliest questions just for her reaction. See, no one was to know that the teach was my mom. I loved seeing the look on her face.

BTW: lost my virginity shortly before turning 18. The years before then very experimental and fun (not to scare any parents out there)

I applaude all parents that are open with their kids. It lasts. They listen.
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Oblique
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Post by Oblique » Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:21 pm

OK. So I hope I am stating the obvious here, but if you are worried about kids seeing "things" at Burning Man, maybe you should be focusing your efforts about kids seeing "things" on the internet. LOL

As far as sex is concerned, there sure is a lot more on the internet than the Playa (no need to list the fun things we have all seen on the internet. LOL And, yes it is free. With a webcam and a chat program you can find just about anything you want to find and participate in it. LOL)....so my guess would be, if you child is 11 and they use the internet, fortunately or unfortunately they have seen it anyhow.

And, it would be your responsibility to shield them from whatever it is you do not want them to see. THIS IS A BIG TASK and not something that just applies to Burning Man.

Sex is simple. Nothing gross about it, even if it is kinky....we can always turn our heads or not bring children into the picture.

Ob.
[url=http://www.elementsgraphics.net/index.php?id=eggs][img]http://www.boomspeed.com/egraphics/l5v2s.gif[/img][/url]
[url=http://www.elementsgraphics.net/index.php?id=eggs][img]http://www.boomspeed.com/egraphics/we972.gif[/img][/url]

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Apollonaris Zeus
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Re: SEX ON THE PLAYA

Post by Apollonaris Zeus » Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:55 pm

nayfie wrote:i saw 5 different couples on the playa having sex
Yeah, all at the same time? Can you elaborate? Details, details, details please and make it exciting with embelishments!

nayfie wrote:i'm all for having a good time....but...........................
Sounds like you are an anal preference type of person. I'm not into the but, but sex happens.

If you grew up on a farm, sex is the first thing you learn about that animals have sex and humans don't admit to it.

AIIZ

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jenn_nc
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Re: SEX ON THE PLAYA

Post by jenn_nc » Mon Aug 21, 2006 1:30 pm

nayfie wrote: these people were doing the nasty....
Sex isn't nasty: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nasty
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Kinetic IV
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Re: SEX ON THE PLAYA

Post by Kinetic IV » Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:02 pm

jenn_nc wrote:
nayfie wrote: these people were doing the nasty....
Sex isn't nasty: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nasty
Jiffy Lube after people haven't showered for 2-3 days might make you reconsider that.
K-IV
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