Sexual Violence

phoenix from the playa · Post by **phoenix from the playa** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 2:48 pm

NOT IN MY CAMP, NOT AT MY PARTY NOT ON MY PLAYA YOU FUCKING SICK TWISTED PIECE OF LOW WORM SHIT. (sorry worms)

I call on every man who even THINKS they want to attend a burn. Bring an answer to the party! How will you protect and defend your community from a rapist and sexual aggression?

Where’s the creativity, where’s the love in giving some drug to a half nakid partying women who wants to have a good time! Dancing not being drugged you idiot! Who said she wanted to have a good time passing out from your drug and being fucked by you? Is this what you call sex? Fun? Are you so fuckin weak and sick that you can’t ask to play? You like to fuck bodies that can’t move? Go fuck dead people. I am sooo sorry of what some parent did to you, the disrespect you must have received from your mutated and twisted family and acquaintences, your older cousins or that smelly sick uncle! Next year, keep it in your family, not mine!

Because you just fucked all of Black Rock City and none of us asked you. So now, I am requesting you remain home next year and just jerk off and get that I speak for at least 30,000 people.

I hope your DNA comes up on the sample they took from her. I hope the cops can find you before some angry friend or father does you! I hope they can protect you all the way to jail where I pray you’ll be the asses up bitch of some horse hung full on horny meth snorting Hell’s Angel who hate punks like you.

May you be so ashamed at this moment that your stomach is twisted into knots and if you’ve one shred of humanity left in your being, about to suffocate in your own putrid vomit!

PJ · Post by PJ » Thu Sep 04, 2003 2:58 pm

To whom, exactly, is this thread addressed? Are you saying this happened in your camp, or to someone of your acquaintance?

I've yet to see anything sexually-predatory at Burning Man except for surreptitious videotaping of naked women.

phoenix from the playa · Post by **phoenix from the playa** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:26 pm

Occured someplace in Black Rock City to a women from my camp.

it is addressed to all citizens of our community.

There are words for the guy who drugged her.

Police reports have been made.

It is a request to help protect the most vulnerable among us. Just cause a women is high, dancing, playful and half nakid don't mean she wants to be drugged & fucked.

_tears_ · Post by **_tears_** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:42 pm

The only thing i am going to say is...

I am NOT going to comment on this nope nope nope

---TEARS---

Gothalot · Post by **Gothalot** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:57 pm

I suggest you post the shmucks picture. Has the man been found? All men are not created equal nor women. As a member of the male species I'd still be first in line to cut the guy's balls off and bury him 6 feet under.

Stormy · Post by **Stormy** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 9:50 pm

Please be sure someone follows up on the investigation. While countless rape evidence kits are collected, not all get the DNA tests completed. I once heard a report on some astondingly high number of kits sitting in a NYPD evidence room without getting the test completed. Something about saving the department lots of money. Most rapists are repeat offenders, if we don't stop them they just keep on raping.

So sorry about your friend.

Haveed · Post by **Haveed** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:03 am

The investigation of this passed through our neighbourhood - some BLM and other officials were asking questions of witnesses nearby. I just thought, what the hell? who would do something like that? we had a few incidences of this back home a few months ago... I just don't get the person who would do this. f*cking coward. f*cking lame. no punishment is too harsh for idiots like this.

Hotspur · Post by **Hotspur** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:16 pm

phoenix from the playa wrote: I call on every man who even THINKS they want to attend a burn. Bring an answer to the party! How will you protect and defend your community from a rapist and sexual aggression?

Umm...

What, exactly, are you calling on us to do?

Look, I don't want to be rude about it, but the vast majority of men--those of us who aren't sexual predators--are really the last people you need to be talking to here. Why are you calling us out?

Are you saying watch out for a girl who looks like she's been hit with GHB? Because beyond that--really. What do you want us to do?

Women need to be careful-- sad but true. Rapists need to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Also true. But really, how do I fit into this?

I would interrupt a sexual assault the same way I would step into any other crime-in-progress--I would do my best to stop it without putting myself at undo risk. I suspect most burners--male and female, would do the same. But the thing is that this sort of crime happens behind closed doors--in tents, in dark corners of domes when no-one's watching. And you know, when you see some couple fucking at the back of some dance camp you don't really want to go poking your flashlight around saying, "Hmm...is she conscious? Check." (Can I see hands from all the burners who would condone that sort of intrusive behavior? How many times did you stick your flashlight in someone's face when they were having sex?)

Halo Joe · Post by **Halo Joe** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:32 pm

OK, I have to preface this lil' anecdote by saying this is just what I did in a given situation, and it certainly isn't intended as a template or anything:

Monday about 4 a.m., a woman walked up to the burn platform in front of The Glom. She said she had went out on the open playa to watch the temple burn with a male friend from her camp. Later, they got into an argument, and he left her. She walked to the Esplanade -- where the lights were -- and that's how she ended up at The Glom.

The woman -- whose name I forget, but she's in post-grad studies in Austin -- knew her camp's address, but with all the signs down, she wasn't sure how to find it. I loaded up the Camelbak, grabbed a beer and said, "Well, we can find it."

We stumbled around BRC until we did. Turns out she was on 2:30, about six streets back. The Glom was at Esplanade and 8:30. It was a hell of a hike, but I certainly didn't mind walking her home. We had a great (if a bit chilly) time, and it let me see the sun rise one more time over the playa before I had to leave.

Let's just try to take care of each other, in whatever ways we can. How's that for a preventive answer?

merlin · Post by **merlin** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:51 pm

It's Sad, but women need to be careful what they take from others, even at Burning Man.

TestesInSac · Post by **TestesInSac** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:57 pm

merlin wrote: It's Sad, but women need to be careful what they take from others, even at Burning Man.

Women, Hell, that's good advice for everyone.

Fuckin' cookies...

cowgirl · Post by **cowgirl** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 12:43 am

phoenix i am so sorry to hear about this incident...

near the middle to end of the week in the late hours a man tried to follow me into the porta-potties. he was right behind me as i walked in. he was very fucked up on some sort of drug and was unaware of the normal rules of conduct. he tried to follow me around and when i shouted at him he went away.

my gut instincts took over and i felt very nervous after that... i've NEVER shouted at anyone in the four years i've been going to burning man. ever.

ladies, don't forget to protect yourselves and fight back and be cautious. even though we are in a wonderful community, be aware that some people do not have your best interests in mind.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sat Sep 06, 2003 8:45 am

cowgirl wrote:some people do not have your best interests in mind.

They always seem to be male.

It's an obsolete sex, really.

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 6:50 pm

I'm so sorry to hear of this assault. This was my first burn, and I fucking loved it, but I did see a few things that made me nervous, namely people completely F.U.BA.R'd and aggressive-- saw some fights happen, and maybe it's nothing worse than would occur at your average night club, but damn. Date rape and fucking evil bastards dropping GHB or whatever into girl's drinks happens way too frequently, and is enabled by people just minding their own business. I would encourage everyone to be watchful and make it their business to investigate if they see anything weird going on. I can see how the question of shining a flashlight into someone's face while they're in the throes could be a toughie at BM (like I said, I'm new), but maybe people should just get a fucking room if they're that excited about each other.. maybe they wouldn't be embarrassed at someone just asking or ensuring that everyone's okay. Fuck, if they're gettin down right in the centre of all the action anyway, it's unlikely they'd be offended, and if so, who gives a fuck, as they obviously assummed people around wouldn't be objecting? Anyone in their right mind should appreciate the concern and community-mindedness. And I know for sure, if some rat ass bastard dropped GHB into my drink and proceeded to rape me as I passed out, I would sure be appreciating the intervention..

Halo Joe · Post by **Halo Joe** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 6:55 pm

PJ wrote:
cowgirl wrote:some people do not have your best interests in mind.
They always seem to be male.

It's an obsolete sex, really.

Yeah, except for that whole sperm thing. Whew! Thank the stars for that loophole! Otherwise the wimmins woulda put me out to pasture long ago. (Although I'm really starting to warm to the whole ZPG mind-set.)

Halo Joe · Post by **Halo Joe** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 6:58 pm

gabegirl wrote:Date rape and fucking evil bastards dropping GHB or whatever into girl's drinks happens way too frequently...

Yup, and as much as burners might like to think the playa is some magical place where guardian faeries watch over our every move, that just ain't the case. Testosterone-addled fuckwits are there as well, especially on the weekend of the burn. (Why aren't they there all week? Because they're too citified and sissified to make it that long. They can't be away from an XBox or SportsCenter for too long, after all. Buncha GHB-usin', drink-spikin' pansy fucks...)

Friendly Jen · Post by **Friendly Jen** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 8:02 pm

My best advice is to never go out alone, and always make sure your budy makes sure you are making a consious decision to run off with someone. A simple "Are you cool with this guy/gal?" usually works. I can only remember one incident where I was alone on the playa....course I was wearing big leather boots and carying a riding crop with a deranged look on my face. Wish I always followed these rules in the real world...could have saved me from some really lame ass situations.

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 8:20 pm

We had a moment that is still haunting me.

I was standing with another woman by the plane at the hangar when a very creepy guy came walking through our camp. He lingered too long, stared too hard at this woman so I asked her if she wanted to come into our tent. We both waited in there until he went away. One of the men in camp told me later that he spoke to the guy before he left. We had some large puppets out front called The Immortals and he said, "The Immortals are talking to me." My friend asked, "What are they saying?" He replied, "They are telling me, 'Don't kill her'". He was serious.

Never walk alone. Not even at BRC.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 8:37 pm

They are telling me, 'Don't kill her'". He was serious.

Good lord! That seriously freaks me out.

There was a ton o' time I spent walking around by myself this year at night. Then again I think I naturally put out a pretty good "don't fuck with me vibe" when I'm on my own.

Ugh. Would suck to be proven wrong on that though.

TawnyGnosis · Post by **TawnyGnosis** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 9:43 am

I don't believe that you can't walk around on your own at burning man. I like being the lone wolf type and free to go or do anything I want. Yet just like when I'm at home, freako male types like to approach me. I don't even give them one inch of space to intrude on me. Simply not accepting drinks or whatever from the creepy person is the first step. I also can hold my space well and when people see that they go away pretty quickly.

Some people seem to believe that normal standards of behavior don't apply at burning man. That is all fine and good to go around grabbing people, groping gratuitously in a hug, or any other kind of predatory behavior.

I would surely intrude on a scene that didn't seem right but we all have personal responsibility and simply acting and believing that we are strong is the first step to staying safe.

-T

Stormy · Post by **Stormy** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 10:37 am

In the real world, I try to remember what I was taught in Bay Area Model Mugging:

Walk with confidence.
Don't talk to strangers.
Be quick to tell strange men I don't know them and don't want to talk to them or that they're getting too close.
Hope that my training in a highly adrenilized state kicks in, if I were attacked.

At Burning Man, I'd like to be able to let my guard down and be friendly with strangers. As a woman, should I really have to be chaperoned all the time to feel safe, even at Burning Man?

So here's my reactionary response to this and other situations, would the Borg please consider limiting the number of tickets sold? Not only has letting this event get so large made BM very similar to the "other world" but it has now become a place where women are preyed on. I have heard way too many stories in the past two years. I can still remember years when I didn't hear about sexual assaults and used to leave my vehicle unlocked. It's one thing to have to deal with a lot of assholes you don't like, it's another to be raped by them.

PetsUntilEaten · Post by **PetsUntilEaten** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 11:52 pm

pinky had a story -

of bartender (or some such) catching a guy at their bar dropping something in a woman's drink. they knocked it over & held up the pill. nearly beat him . . . the guy blatantly slipped a woman drugs when she wasn't looking.

hotspur - she's asking us all to keep an eye out. thats easy enough.

i'm sorry that this stuff continues.

i know its not the answer - but i think if playa females get as violent as they'd like to be when the guys are found out - much less trouble would follow.

PetsUntilEaten · Post by **PetsUntilEaten** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 11:55 pm

ps - limited ticket sales: i don't think you can assume that predators won't buy tickets early or that they are part of "them" and not "us".

pray for bad weather.

PJ · Post by PJ » Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:03 am

PetsUntilEaten wrote:...pray for bad weather.

Sometimes I think that way too. But I have a better time when it's nice out. Cest la vie.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 9:18 am

Last year when a man with a camera asked to photograph my friend's tits I kept my mouth shut and later regretted it. I felt the slimy vibe from the beginning, but didn't want to come on all macho like and aggro.

This year, approaching the temple burn a man approached my same friend and said "All Ladies must pay a toll." I stepped between the man and my friend and said, "let's go." Three things set me off -- the use of the word "ladies" in this context, the fact that he was demanding something rather then offering or politely asking ("Can I have a hug?" would've sounded a lot different), and the fact that he specifically approached my friend.

She said I over-reacted.
____

This year, late at night as we were rolling about on the esplanade we got seperated. This freaked me out a bit and for 15 minutes I circled about thinking the most horrible thoughts until we went back to the last burn platform and were joyuosly reunited.

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 9:25 am

Nah. It might have been overreacting if you twisted the flash off his camera after you smashed his $2000 Zeiss Planar lens with a piece of rebar.

Taz · Post by **Taz** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 10:25 am

Phoenix, for the most part ,outside of your emotional release, I think your message will not strike home to where you intended it to. The only thing that will stop sexual preditors is to catch and punish them. I do not think lashing out at everyone will help. I certainly do not believe the ones responsible will own up to the offense and confess.
I think that your friend has to assume more personal responsibilty for their vulnerability. If a rich man went through a poor crime ridden neighborhood bedecked in expensive jewelry alone , what would you say of him? Likewise ,if you see your friend drunk or stoned out of their gourd wandering into the playa what would you do?
The people of BM are more caring and vigilant than most people in your own neighborhood but let's admit it , there's only so much you can do. There's an Islamic saying, " Trust in Allah but tether your camel."

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 10:33 am

If a rich man went through a poor crime ridden neighborhood bedecked in expensive jewelry alone...

Sorry, that smacks of "She was wearing a short skirt so she deserved it."

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 10:56 am

The only thing that will stop sexual preditors is to catch and punish them.

True enough. I have women friends who like to note that "dead men don't rape." I quite agree.

PetsUntilEaten · Post by **PetsUntilEaten** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 11:01 am

TAZ -

I'm going to have to recommend that everyone disregard your post.

What a silly, blame-the-victim, lets-act-like-its-the-default-world, women-should-know-their-place, thing to say.

- Pets.

Sexual Violence

Sexual Violence

Re: Sexual Violence

grrr.......

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sexual violence

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advice

Stepping up onto my reactionary soap box