top douche bags fucktards at BM 2010

[Mosin]

Re: hippy fucktard,
Gotta think faster 'sorry my wife has Hep-C , only she can drink from that bottle.' when you tell him is up to you.

That is brilliant! I gota step up my game next year...

[Gwydeon]

The Playa Gift Exchange, was one of the funniest things this year.

It's like the glow stick on a string made better.

If you didn't like it, you either got caught by it, or have no sense of humor.

Warning signs they provided:

No one around (someone was watching most of the time)
Inside lit & outside dark (your on display)
No one enforcing that you brought something to trade (honor among the general populace? HA!)
Half wood, half playa floor?
Chicken wire walls and a DOOR... why would it need a door? There is no privacy behind chicken wire.

If you got caught and can't by now laugh at yourself you deserve every nasty, unhappy thought you're feeling right now, and I hope this post makes you worse.

[msmonkey]

[quote="deathray"]that was the cage that the fool built. I could have him arrested or at least kick out of BRC for false imprisonment and the cage dismantled by cops and black rock rangers but I figured let him get his pathetic rocks off since he has no life. The loser never left his camp.[/quote]


Sounds like somebody walked into the Trap, couldn't figure his way back and is still dealing with the trauma of it all.


Perhaps there was too much bullhorn involved? Surprise!

[dinks]

1) The wife and I got to the city burn nice and early friday night and sat down right by a cone so she could film it. 5min before the burn 3 idiot (19 year old) looking goofs sneak up to the front and plop down right in front of her and the people next to us. One of the goofs backpacks actually knocked the camera out of her hand. Luckily, before I could even get a word out there were 5 to 10 people behind us already screaming at them and forced them to move along.

2) The chain smoking european girls on the Janky art car that would not shut up. I have a good feeling they were tossing their butts on the playa but I could never catch them in the act.

3) The guy that would climb into keyhole and shake it.

4) The loud art car that decided to park 30 or 40 yards from hushville around 3am friday-morning.

5) Oh, and to the 2 to 4 darktards that I ran over every night on my bike. Eat it.



Other than that, the other 49,982 people at the event were all good in my book.

[unjonharley]

I like to fuck with people as well as the next guy.

It's just no fun when it's so easy.

Some times it takes a second or two for my feet to respond to comand.

So I'm standing (with two canes) in the doorway of the pisser.

The guy behind me loses it that he can't get past me in that time frame..


Now I see a large art schulpure and want a picture..

The big double bus slips up behind me and stops..

20 seconds stalling the bus so I can shoot a pic.

People are yelling at me to get out of the way..

Didn't know we were that close to the end of the world.

I stole 20 seconds of there crappy life..

Guess that makes me a wad huh?

[shroom]

Art car drivers that blast shitty music late at night in residential areas far from esplanade and 2 and 10 streets.

Drivers of "official vehicles", cops, art cars and golf carts that drove way too fast, dangerously and kicked up dust.

Those 2 pissed me off. I was on 6 & Kyoto and heard art cars all night long.

[devilgrrl]

that was the cage that the fool built. I could have him arrested or at least kick out of BRC for false imprisonment and the cage dismantled by cops and black rock rangers but I figured let him get his pathetic rocks off since he has no life. The loser never left his camp.

Do us all a favor and stay home next year, hm? Take your attitude to Coachella or something instead.

Coachella?

[devilgrrl]

My douchebag of the year award goes to the asswipe that came into Barbie Death Camp in full tuxedo (not a speck of dirt on him) and jumped into the display of Barbies and began to stomp on my art! He crushed over 100 of them into smithereens. I got into his face and he said, "This is Barbie DEATH Camp, so they should be dead!" He acted as if I was the asshole. Almost clobbered the mother*****r. What a douche.

Wow! What a drag. I hate when some asshole finds the need to encroach on someone's art project. So sorry that happened to you because it was a great piece.

[Isotopia]

There really should be a set of Commandments that result in expulsion from the event.

Somewhere between 1 and 5 would be "Destroy no art not of one's making."

[Kiro]

Dickbag fuckface flag waving wankers at the Temple, who stood behind the people choosing to stand behind the seating area, with their flags blocking the view of everyone behind them. Then, 5 seconds before the Temple was lit, demanding everyone sit down.

Listen you worthless shitfucking twatlickers, FUCKING SIT DOWN instead of forcing a bunch of people to get no view at all. Leave the flags at home, too.

Other than that, fucking savage year full of good people and memories for a lifetime.

[Eric]

The stupid annoying underage sparkle pony princess who had to be thrown out of our bar at least twice and again on Monday as Fandango was breaking down camp and she tried to filch a bottle.

The darkwad who jumped in front of my bike screaming "boo" on Burn Night. If I hadn't hit a sand-dune my front tire would've given him a sex change.

The fucking hippie who ran into our camp on Sunday as we were one of the last bars standing on the Esplanade and sprayed one of our bartenders with water. Water that was dosed with acid. She tripped for close to 18 hours, against her will. Not a good trip. I want him dead.

The asshat sitting in our shade structure scowling at me because I had a boy in my lap that I was nuzzling. Don't like it, sit in your own damn shelter.

The unbelievable number of darkwads. They were just everywhere- on foot and on bike. And, sorry, one lame glowstick on your chest does not count as "light" unless you're in a club & not a danger to yourself & others. Buy some damn $2 blinkies already.

Even with that, my Best Burn Ever.

can ya tell I'm still frazzled from just getting back home?

[Kiro]

The fucking hippie who ran into our camp on Sunday as we were one of the last bars standing on the Esplanade and sprayed one of our bartenders with water. Water that was dosed with acid. She tripped for close to 18 hours, against her will. Not a good trip. I want him dead.

Break his kneecaps and leave him in the desert.

[bluesbob]

The shithead that stole the bike loaned to me. Although it did lead to an incredibly fun ride on an art car. Never mind, you can keep the shitty bike.

The 60ish pot-bellied dude spouting all the peace/love philosophy, talking like he was at incredible peace and understanding with the universe...and trying to get people to come into his camp for free veggie burritos...

Beautiful girl riding by on bicycle: "The universe is smiling down upon you tonight. Would you like a free veggie burrito?"

Beautiful girl walking by: "Nature's masterpiece...would you like a free veggie burrito?"

Me coming by: (he acts like he's suddenly busy doing something else)

Sad lives some people lead. Old guys hoping to score with drugged/drunken women. I hope their dicks fall off.

[Mosin]

The 60ish pot-bellied dude spouting all the peace/love philosophy, talking like he was at incredible peace and understanding with the universe...and trying to get people to come into his camp for free veggie burritos...

Assuming this was a list, I read the above three times, thinking that besides the lack of carne asada, the guy sounded alright to me...

Beautiful girl riding by on bicycle: "The universe is smiling down upon you tonight. Would you like a free veggie burrito?"

Beautiful girl walking by: "Nature's masterpiece...would you like a free veggie burrito?"

Me coming by: (he acts like he's suddenly busy doing something else)

I fucking HATE losers with that MO. May his vegan dick fall off into one of his "masterpieces of nature" (assuming he was referring to the burritos. If this was his pick-up line IMO he should just be taken out behind the trash fence and shot ).

[thirt33n]

^

ha ha. what a weak ass nutbag

[igor47]

I think the biggest asshole this year was the entire Clown art car. But it was very entertaining. They drove all around talking shit to everyone probobly trying to fuck up the trips of everyone on acid. I sat from a distance and laughed the whole time.

seriously. during the dust storm after megapolis exploded, i touched that clown car and was practically assaulted by some dude sitting in the door, who told me "don't you ever fucking touch an art car like that" and that he "ain't no fucking hippy".

karma's a bitch though. i was very pleased to be there to see the car stall out after the temple burn and to see that same asshat trying and failing to get the generator started again.

[teardropper]

I hope you had a safe and awesome burn. Mine was dangerous as fuck and I'm still giggling.

Completely. Giggling like crazy.

Safety third...

[gerlachedNloaded]

to the deaftarded guy and girl on top of the fishy artcar on the friday mega burn night who WOULDN"T SIT THE FUCK DOWN and blocked our whole art car's view of the burn. did you NOT hear the guy directly in front of you and the 20 of us behind you yelling at you? oh, and those smirks on your faces made you look like shit sandwiches

[jobi]

I'd like to give a nod to the person that hid little gadgets that played "Happy Birthday" on a nonstop loop in the potties around 7:30. Annoyed the shit out of me and made me laugh at the same time. I had no idea it took me that long to poop until I heard that song about 30 times.

[K-mom]

Biggest douche for me was one of my own camp/travel-mates, who seemed cool all week, then went off the rails during Exodus after the Temple Burn. I honestly have no idea what caused it (beyond the whiskey and moonshine he consumed) but he was hanging out of the RV with a megaphone screaming 'America Is The Asshole Of The World'.... I've never been so ashamed in my life, but if any of you happened to be around us, rest assured everyone else in that vehicle DID NOT share his opinion.

[Gage]

Maybe it was the stars in my eyes and the perma-grin plastered across my dusty face, but I was having WAY to much of a mindblowing good time to even notice any douche-isms happening around me. Never even noticed a one, or maybe it's because I didn't really care to even let those thoughts invade my brain? I dunno.

[Live Trap]

I am the builder of the trap of which you speak.

Pussray, your comments are the greatest complement of the hundreds we’ve received. Thank you! It is a privilege to have made your list; we are so very honored.

Next year we’ll make the trap even more obvious so as to catch only the really stupid people, thus sparing intelligent, experienced burners that really get it such as yourself.

Now I’m going to go turn myself into law enforcement for false imprisonment.

[Bob]

Enquiring minds might want to see a copy of your art proposal.

[brody]

Despite being there 11 days this year, there's really only one person on my asshole list (I don't count the DPW guys driving over the speed limit through a blinding whiteout who almost ran me over...that's expected, right?):

Barter Bob.

He tagged my art project with a sharpie, advertising his camp. He was the ONLY PERSON during the entire week to disrespect my art project with graffiti. No one else even followed his example, as sometimes happens with graffiti (sometimes once it's tagged, things become a graffiti magnet). Not this time. He was the ONLY one.

I don't care if he's an old-school Burner and gives a lot to the community. He, then, of all people, should know better than to deface art. He gets my 2010 FUCK YOU award (and a photo of the tag sent to the Burning Man organization....maybe they'll take it into consideration when he's requesting theme camp placement again next year).

The rest of it (darktards, drunks, mooching hippies, sleazy goddess-worship camps) is just expected and taken in stride. It's Burning Man. But tagging art is NOT ok.

[Bounce530]

My asshat award goes to who ever thought it would be funny to break off the tube from the urinal to the tank in the porto's. Of course that was on a night after my headlamp broke.
Or to the fuck who drug is bike into the troff porto, cause he didn't want to leave it out side, fine, you don't want to leave you bike outside of the porto, but I want you to leave the handlebar, and brake handle outside of my ass also! Fucker!

[Boijoy]

My list of ass hat douche tards.
Drunken asswipe that helped him/her self to sleep in my friends Jeep & leave a horrible odor & glove.
Asswipe that stole my friends bike.
Dicktard that pissed on my friends camper steps.
Dillhold that stole my Ludys mug from my bike basket.
and to ALL the darkwads,, fek off !! read the survival guide or stay at home!!
other than that.. pretty good year all & all.

[baconqurlyq]

As a newb, I was really surprised by the darkwads I saw all throughout the week. I was fully de-darkwadded out, particularly my bike, and I wore my headlamp anytime I was away from camp (and sometimes while in camp). I'd be scared as shit to be walking or biking around without being lit up. As it is, being a newb, negotiating around on foot or on bike was challenging as all hell. There's no rhyme or reason to the traffic flow. It's like driving into downtown LA with no street lamps and everyone is on mushrooms and meth. Pure craziness. To try to get around in that without being able to see? Fuck that.

My fucktard award, however, goes to all the cars and trucks I saw driving around towards the end of the week that were obviously people not wanting to walk or bike. They weren't loaded down with any gear, so it's not like they were just arriving, and the vehicles weren't marked as staff/emergency. They were just assholes who didn't want to get around as they should and kick up a lot of dust.

[jadewombat]

I have one to add, the guys who ran the 'Petting Zoo' by 2:00 and whatever.

I arrived on Sunday night the 29th. Monday morning I saw these guys making the rounds with a little red wagon in tow and a bullhorn. I didn't really know what they wanted at the time but found out the next day. EVERY single day the whole week they were going around each morning and asking for donations of booze to restock their bar.

Excuse me?!? You're running a bar camp and you fucking run out of booze at the beginning of the week, I could understand near the end of the week, but putting your hat out each day? Leaches. I didn't give them anything.

Here's a brainstormer, pool your money together and send someone into Gerlach on the shuttle to go restock.

I agree though, there was, as always, a lot of great stuff and I don't mean to ride the negative train here.

[d6]

using the blinkies, i also carried flashlights when i had to walk to/from camp to work the art installation, and i was surprised by the sheer amount of darktardedness as well.

otherwise limited lameness this year, but my scope of the city was restricted due to my work radius.

as for anyone who doses someone else, they deserve the extra action beat down.

[ConnieH]

Besides the high dickwad who drove through our camp and tried to park his car behind our bar after being told we had no open parking and given suggestions of open places to park, etc., the only other thing that really bothered me all week was a gal who performed at an artists dinner - after her performance she came through the crowd with a hat asking for donations of basically anything besides cash. Had cash been allowed, I'm sure she would have asked for that, too. Since when has begging become part of Burning Man? Blech.