Tough on relationships

[PrincessCharming]

It does make sense, AntiM, thank you. I know I'd be a damn fool to ever leave her, and your husband probably feels the same about you. My Baby is smart, funny, hot, adorable, and caring almost to a fault, or to her own detriment. Caring for others over herself is a hole she can fall into sometimes.. me too, for that matter, and I believe it's something a lot of women in particular, do..

I feel somewhat hypocritical with my concerns here, because I am quite sensitive to others' appreciation of her and when at my weakest and most insecure, I'm afraid that someone younger/hotter/smarter/whatever is going to come along and that'll be it. But when I'm present to who she is for me, what it comes down to is that her regard, words, and actions are all communicating total devotion and commitment to me. I think it's my own I am concerned about, when surprised by the attractiveness of another. But maybe there's a possibility I could still have a really nice exchange with someone I meet and respond to on that level, and turn it into a gift of expression somehow, that is clear and authentic, but does not take anything away from my partner or relationship with her, or make anyone else feel teased, "messed with" or led on in any way.

I admire your husband's honesty and commitment, and your strength and appreciation of him. You obviously have something really beautiful and special together. Thing is, this world is vast, and full of beautiful souls, and there is likely more than one person (possibly quite a few more) with whom we can resonate, move, and be moved physically and emotionally. And it could just come down to letting it be known, in a smile or a few words, that you appreciate a person, and have that be it, with no other agenda.

Now I really wish I'd at least smiled at that girl. Ah, I'm still a hypocrite though! I'm just realising I've judged men who smile at me (and even appraise me- or this that just my story about it?) over their wives'/girlfriends' heads. I own that I'm a bit of a princess, and have had a hard time myself being with someone and feeling like they're exchanging significant glances with others.. I guess I get uncomfortable on behalf of the women, or on behalf of feeling myself in their shoes, which is maybe a little silly, if I'm doing something similar.

Heehee, I quite like it though when I see a lovely lady with a man, send her a bit of an appreciative grin and get one back.. I think I love that because often in this weirdly gender-power-skewed world, there's this coldly competitive, sizing-up kind of vibe I sometimes get from other feminine women in the presence of men. Women have learned to be insecure, and often, men have learned to reinforce that because it places them at a perceived advantage, when really, everybody loses.. I guess I have some different standards about men vs women and I wonder if I'll be getting my come-uppance one of these days.. There's something to be said for "innocent" flirting though.. and I know if I can dish it out and enjoy it, I should be okay with being left out of it sometimes, and be glad for my girl getting some appreciation. I can tell you, it can get pretty complex and confusing when you hang out with lesbians and bi-women.. or is it like that with everyone?

Thanks for your thoughts..

[AntiM]

PC, your thoughts made me smile, remembering an early date with larry. We were on Diego Garcia, an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. There were about 200 ~ 300 women on the island to just over 2,000 men. Everyone was over 18 and unaccompanied, no wives, no husbands, no kids, just a bunch of footloose sailors in a gorgeous tropical setting.

I was slow dancing with larry, country waltz actually, one of our very first dates. We worked together so saw each other daily, but this was after hours at the club. There was another blonde who worked down at the airfield who would coe over to the table and ask me if larry could dance with her, I said yes a couple times. But during this dance, I looked up (he's a foot taller than me) and he was flirting with her over my head!!! I bit him! right on the chest, enough to leave a perfect set of teeth marks through his shirt. That normally would be a date-buster, but for some reason it cemented the deal early on.

Larry loves women, all women, he flirts if they're straight, bi or lesbian. What really cracks me up is when he flirts with gay guys, nothing will happen, he just loves flirting too much! It doesn't bother me because I know that's just the way he is and I can either accept it or let it drive me crazy. Before I knew him well, I was territorial, now I can relax and enjoy his appreciation of other people.

I also believe there are many folks you can make a connection with, but just because there's fish in the sea doen't mean you have to pull in the net. Baiting the hook can be fun when there's nibbles and not a catch and release agenda.

It does get confusing. I'm about 98% straight and still get mixed up when women kiss me.

[PrincessCharming]

"just because there's fish in the sea doen't mean you have to pull in the net. Baiting the hook can be fun when there's nibbles and not a catch and release agenda."

Hah- well said. Fish much? Heehee.. That's cute you bit him. Hell of a nibble. And he liked it! Hook, line and sinker for you both..

For me, it's really pretty rare that I see someone and am that sensitive to their energy that I literally feel them quite intensely. It's a very cool experience, I just get flustered when it happens (only a few times in my life). Hmm, I wonder if that's akin to what the mythical "love at first sight" is, when people get that resonance on strong upon seeing each other, and don't break the spell.

Hmh, that would be an interesting subject for discussion, love at first sight at Burning Man.. It probably happens a lot!!

Yeah, I wonder if I get extra confused sometimes, being bi- and having potential sexual tension from more directions? I know I've had kind of tense or intense friendship dynamics where I'm pretty sure there's some hormonal thing happening, with both males and females..

[PrincessCharming]

Wow.. I had a chat with my lady and she totally knew.. we had a good laugh over it. Next time if it happens again, for either of us, we'll be walking up to introduce ourselves, and have a dance or a chat. AntiM, you're right, I think there's something to be said for appreciating your partner in the context of others' appreciation..