Has it really been 5 years since my 30 day ban?

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Lonesomebri
Posts: 2629
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:54 pm
Burning Since: 2021
Camp Name: CAMP THREAT
Location: NorCal

Has it really been 5 years since my 30 day ban?

Post by Lonesomebri » Thu Jul 09, 2020 8:01 am

The offending ticket for sale post that got me suspended from eplaya 5 years ago. Well, this and what i told them when they first deleted my sincere post... (bartering, it was a notion of bartering in my post they used as the reason...
PSX_20200201_154850.jpg
Long Live Plug n Plays)

"1 $800 ticket at cost for Trouble Maker or Malcontent.
I purchased an $800 early sale ticket in order to support the attendance of low income hippies and help promote the good work of the Bmorg in their tireless efforts to get the news of Burning Man out to the nation and international masses crying out to the universe to be dusty and LED lit while raving hard. I did it for others, got it? Foremost I am a humanitarian, you goddamned ingrates. Last year I had to beg here for a ticket and did not want to take that chance again. People sometimes get tired of seeing the same old bum on the same old street corner with my same old cup out. So this year I took care of me and mine. As my one burning buddy has dropped off the radar after his jail time last year, and I have no other non-imaginary friends, I figured that here would be the place to dump this commodi…. err… pass along this blessing. Or as management might say, “share” this experience by having you pay for it. The attached shipping and taxes would be included, bringing the cost up a few bucks from $800. There is no vehicle pass available. I have the ticket in hand. I am in the Bay Area, so you being near here would be easiest. I may even wave the additional fees and make it $800 even if the gesture allows me further ways to rub my generosity in the faces of others.

It’s always been on my bucket list to make others grovel before me for an envied commodi…. err… blessing. I reached out to the universe and here we are. Think about that, a guy like me reached out to the universe and got a reply, yet here you are trying to hunt down a ticket. Anyway, I digress… This is no contest, just a way for me to sell the ticket back to “the community” (see footnote) in some other way than first come first served.

Here is the deal, if you are here on eplaya only to get a ticket, good luck!!! This is not your ticket. If you have introduced yourself on eplaya, asked a couple questions, posted on eplaya more than 6 times in threads other than “ticket wanted”, okay, continue. Ideally I would like the ticket to go to someone who pays me for it, and has come up with a solution to the Plug and Play/Boutique Hotel issues facing Black Rock City, brought together the opposing sides in the Middle East leading to a lasting peace, and lined up a date for me pre or post Burn.

Short of that, please let me know why you want the ticket. And I’m not the most positive vibe kind of person, so tell me why you deserve the ticket, or you could also just explain why others don’t deserve it as much as you do. Either is acceptable. Entries will be disqualified if the entrant has less than 4 posts on eplaya, promises me a dusty hug, is a DJ, if you have ever slept with a DJ, if the ticket is part of any kind of manifestation or bucket-list, if the playa is being enlisted to be a school project or growth experience, any plan to spend time at the Burn running a marathon or doing cross-fit, if you plan to show up Thursday, or run a generator all fucking night, or bring an infant, or on-playa request an alternative to any gifted food or drink, or sit down anywhere without some sort of ass covering between your bare bum and the seat, if you don’t ever plan to make an ice run to restock another’s cooler, if “gifting” makes you wonder what you will get instead of what you will give, if you don’t like camping, also screw it- you must sleep in a tent without an RV, double screw-it if this ticket is making sure you and your hot partner can be together than the ticket problem is theirs, not mine, and if you don’t like dogs… this is not the ticket for you. Extra points if the request includes phrases like “blow shit up” and/or “burn it all down”. Two extra points if you use in context a statement similar to “yeah, I knew they took that meteorite out before it burned.”

If you believe this might be your ticket, let me know.
Let the games begin.
Thank you, and the best of luck. See you in the dust.
Footnote: Using the term “for the community” in response will be grounds for disqualification."
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Camp THREAT: Dominating the porta potties 4 years running.
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Ratty
Posts: 6288
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2011 6:43 pm
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Tiger Man

Re: Has it really been 5 years since my 30 day ban?

Post by Ratty » Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:47 am

Ha. A classic post if I ever read one. Of course you WILL be spanked again just for mentioning it. No biggie. We only pop in here once every couple of months anyway. All the qualifiers are priceless. Did it sell? Is this item still available?
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Canoe
Posts: 3992
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Re: Has it really been 5 years since my 30 day ban?

Post by Canoe » Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:16 pm

Is this ticket still for sale?
I'm a part-time student that needs a growth experience project for my DJ school and my bucket-list but I won't get there until Thursday because I have to wait to pickup my infant before I pickup the RV, but you can also have a hug.
p.s. I need the vehicle pass that came with the ticket too.
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jneilvindy
Posts: 291
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2014 2:26 pm
Burning Since: 2014
Location: Greenwood, Indiana

Re: Has it really been 5 years since my 30 day ban?

Post by jneilvindy » Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:44 pm

I feel like this should be the disclaimer on the back of every burningman ticket.

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