A Series of Unfortunate Events: Reflections on My Best Burn

Share your pictures and video. Tell us about the sights, sounds, and scents, as well as the rumors and truths found at Burning Man.
SaraSioux
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A Series of Unfortunate Events: Reflections on My Best Burn

Post by SaraSioux » Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:17 am

It started with my departure for Burning Man. The current boyfriend I left at home was crying, "Why do you have to go, it's just the stupid desert, why is it so important to you." The ex-boyfriend I travelled with was excited, "This could be our chance to reconnect!" The drama flowed, the takeoff was intense, the drive went quickly, no mishaps for once.

We arrived Sunday night, started setting up camp on Monday. Monday afternoon, the first unfortunate event. Federal Internal Bureau of Land Management spots a bong through our dome window, and proceeds to tear everything in our campsite up with K-9s. They took all our herb, 2+ ounces on the first day, they confiscated my adorable candy necklaces (really unique, with little heart shaped pendants.) Apparently candy necklaces are considered drug paraphenilia.

To combat the downer-ism of the bust, I make a big sign. "We got busted". It tells some of the events, and concludes with "Stop on in to smoke us out and we'll tell you the story!" I hang it on our dome's front door.

Suddenly we're celebrities with the neighborhood. Everyone stops over to offer their condolences, hear the story, give us little gifts of food and drugs. They give us blinking marijuana leaf necklaces and "F*ck the Po-po" stickers.

My first shining realization that while the community may get invaded by outsiders, (law enforcement, haters, ravers) the heart and soul of the community is always going to feel for eachother. Burning Man has a freaking soul, and it loves its members, and if one person hurts, the community hurts, and reaches out to make it all better. But, that was just the first event.

Monday night I go out to drown my sorrows with heavy drinking. I meet beautiful people, have a beautiful time. Tuesday and Wednesday I do the same thing... I don't really drink that often, but I have no herb to smoke so I'm forced to become rambunctious and drunken instead of chill and stoned.

Wednesday night I was drinking Vodka straight out of the bottle, and chasing it with water. I'm such a high-class lady. Recipe for disaster, I wake up at around 1:30am in the med tent, with a severely sprained ankle.

This is my 5th burn, I've never visited the med tents in all those years, so this was another new Burning Man experience for me. The medics are wonderful, they bandage me up, give me some crutches, and send me on my way. Only halfway through the week and I'm now a cripple, severely injured.

You'd think that would ruin my entire trip, right? Maybe if it was a trip to somewhere other than Burning Man, but this place, this city, this is full of angels.

Let me say first off how thankful I am for the amazing medical staff that Burning Man employs. They made me a splint, hooked me up with a medical pass to Reno (I didn't end up using.) They were so nice, they were patient with me as I was crying. And they gave me crutches! I heard in previous years there were no crutches to give out, so I got really lucky. I feel like I *really* got the most for my Burning Man ticket money this year, and honestly, I can totally justify the high cost of tickets after seeing all the injured Burners being so delicately taken care of. I was the least of the serious injuries.

The first problem with an injury on the playa, is transportation. I must be the luckiest girl on earth, or else the planets just aligned for me at this year's Burn, because my neighbor had a little bike cart he loaned us. We fashioned a platform to the end of it for my legs, and suddenly I was mobile again.

Then came the outpouring of strangers offerring to cart my ass around the playa. People volunteering out of the blue, dragging me down the road in my little cripple cart so I can still enjoy the Hookahdome and get my coffee at Center Camp.

And of course, the healers. Everywhere I go, majestic individuals offer me their healing power. Soon I have little healing stones, and lucky coins, and talismans and symbols wrapped up in my Ace bandages. Lumps sticking out all around my ankle, representing the outpouring of concern from the Burners. I barely even feel the pain because the moment it comes towards me some great Burner intervenes with prayers and energy and love.

It's still hard though. I cry every year at Burning Man, from exhaustion, pushing myself to my physical limits, the heat, the lack of food and water, the stress, the emotional turmoil. This year I cried even more, it takes me an hour to get the bathroom, I can't run off to the Deep End whenever I want to, I feel like a burden on my friends, I feel weak and useless.

One day I take off down the street, hobbling on my crutches, tears pouring down my face. I'm trying to get to the HeebeeGeebee Healers, 2 blocks down and 1 block over. About a 5 minute ride on a bike, an hour or more for a sobbing little girl on crutches.

I get about 20 yards away from my dome and I stop in the middle of the street to drink some water and decide if I really want to keep trekking, when to my surprise and delight two super-studs come running out of the "Boy Toy" camp to my rescue. They plant a camping chair under me, throw my crutches onto my lap, and lift me up in the air. They start to carry me down the street towards HeebeeGeebees.

I'm so touched by their help, I can't stop crying, I'm not even in pain anymore, it's just all so overwhelming. How can random strangers just pick me up, this place is so wonderful, I don't ever want to go home, I'm crying and crying. Others see my silly spectacle and come to join in. Soon there's a crowd carrying me down the street, whooping and hollering, shouting things like "Make way for the Queen!"

My little entourage carries me straight into HeebeeGeebees and sets me down by the little reservation desk with a big commotion. Everyone is staring at me. "Stay here" they tell me, "We'll work it out." Within 30 seconds I have 3 Reiki healers on me, massaging my head, telling me it's okay to cry, just get all the bad energy out. A girl starts telling me about the goddess, how we're surrounded by heat and dry and dust, the goddess demands an offerring of water, and I offer it better than any.

Despite the long lines and the appointments reserved since 4am that morning, they got me to an Acupressurist immediately. I've never visited the HG Healers before, I don't like to utilize free services for myself that could be better off used on the sick or people that need it more. I love massages but I don't need to get one free in the desert, I dunno I just feel bad.

But I don't feel bad this time. I'm still sobbing on the table, the masseuse is so sweet. "My friends hate me" I sob in my silly playa-emotionalness. "Your friends love you," he reassures me. "You are beautiful, and strong, and your friends love to help you, and they will remember this as the best Burning Man ever."

Soon the tears stop as his work begins. So talented, so amazing, by the time I leave the HGH I am calm, I can't feel my ankle, and I am totally reassured that the world is full of kind, caring, and selfless individuals.

I make a vow to contribute next year, in a way I have never contributed before.

You see, I love Burning Man. I want to be a participant. Every year I give away whatever I have, I make drinks for people, I am friendly, talkative. I bring little gifts and nic-nacs to give out, I thought I understood.

5 years, right? I'm an elder compared to many. I'm experienced. I should be a real Burner. I should finally get it.

But I just didn't. Not until I was at my worst point ever, and they came out in force to show me how wonderful the world can be, did I really really GET IT. Burning Man is a fucking huge piece of performance art, the whole town, the whole world of thought it embodies, is so different from reality and society.

They showed me this year, they showed me that no matter how "good" I think I've been in the past, I never "gave" like they gave to me this year. I never gave myself, wholeheartedly, and selflessly and for no personal gain, just to lighten the spirits of another Burner in need.

I have a new resolution for next year. I decorated my Playa crutches and I plan to return them to the med center, for another Burner in need. I plan to volunteer ahead of time, and contribute myself to the medical services however they need me. I plan to host an event next year, for Burners injured on the playa, to come in for a rest, a massage, some tea, some healing.

Once I was on crutches, I met dozens of other injured Burners. They were everywhere, I never noticed them before, but every year there are thousands of people out there enjoying the Burn despite great physical adversity.

I vow to be kind to everyone. Maybe I was kind before, but I will be twice as kind now. I want my kindness to sweeten someone's day in some way. A totally random act of kindness, NOT A BARTER SYSTEM, not demanding something in return for some crappy gift I gave you. I don't want you to give me anything but a smile. I don't want anything but the joy of knowing that your Burn was as great as mine.

Thank you, to my darling beautiful Black Rock City. I can't say you restored my faith in all of humanity, but you changed my life this year. I thought you changed it in years past, but this year, for sure, you made a difference.

Thanks to anyone who carried, helped, dragged, sprayed, massaged, loved, healed, hugged, or even smiled at the little Cripple Sara this year.

I love you Black Rock City.

Sara
http://www.melodramatic.com/pics/BMAN/
2005 Cripple Sara
http://www.melodramatic.com/pics/BMAN/

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Post by HughMungus » Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:29 am

"Once I was on crutches, I met dozens of other injured Burners. They were everywhere, I never noticed them before, but every year there are thousands of people out there enjoying the Burn despite great physical adversity."

Fascinating. Maybe God is trying to tell you sumptin'...or maybe not. :P

"I vow to be kind to everyone. Maybe I was kind before, but I will be twice as kind now. I want my kindness to sweeten someone's day in some way. A totally random act of kindness, NOT A BARTER SYSTEM, not demanding something in return for some crappy gift I gave you. I don't want you to give me anything but a smile. I don't want anything but the joy of knowing that your Burn was as great as mine."

I make this vow often. It's not always easy so when I feel myself slipping, I try to remember the good people and experiences. Most of the good stuff just happens to be at or because of Burning Man.

Great story. I *love* hearing about how the community comes together like that.

p.s. What happened with the ex/current boyfriend situation? I might have missed that part.

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Post by skygod » Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:10 am

I'm crying now.
"It will seem difficult in the beginning. But everything seems difficult in the beginning."- Musashi

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Post by Lassen Forge » Tue Sep 13, 2005 2:28 pm

You're not the only one, Skygod... and it takes a lot to make me do that.

bb

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Post by EB » Tue Sep 13, 2005 3:16 pm

So did you bone the old boyfriend, then?

EB
Irony. You're soaking in it.

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Post by Badger » Tue Sep 13, 2005 3:18 pm

So did you bone the old boyfriend, then?
Pass the Monitor Clean(TM) please.
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Post by Karma » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:37 pm

I second EB's query.
What happened with the old boyfriend ?
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh".

Voltaire

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Post by Chai Guy » Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:51 pm

Man, I had a big ole hippy lump in my throat until the "Did you bone the old boyfriend" question.


ok, I'll bite.



Didja???

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Post by drummer girl » Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:22 am

Ok I am totally crying too! Soo sweet "make way for the queen" :cry:
Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.-J.Garcia

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Post by kicklane » Wed Sep 14, 2005 6:24 am

You got me sobbing!! Great story- this was my second time and it was SOOO different from my first but equally magical. Thanks for writing it all down
XXXX :)

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Post by ubu » Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:02 pm

Show some decorum, gentlemen. A little delicatesse goes a long way. You can just imagine various scenarious if you want, but don't ask the lady to tell you about her "affairs of the heart."

Thanks for the story, sara.

I got caught by the old unmarked guideline on a new tent in our camp area at the end of the week. I was on my bike, on my way to the pottie in the dark, naked. I went flying off the bike into a truck. I got a huge bruise on my leg and a puncture wound to the back of my heel. I quickly checked myself; no broken limbs or sprained joints. Yeah!

We washed and dressed the wound in camp, and stopped at some hot springs after the burn to convalesce.

It was funny how I did not feel the full extent of the pain till we left the playa.

I'm going to be double careful to note the as the week goes by changes to the camp area. "most accidents take place within a few feet of your camp."

I met a guy who broke his arm whilst in a bunny suit. He was the funniest guy and it did not seem to bring him down at all. I marveled at his resilience.

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Post by blyslv » Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:49 pm

ubu,

Were you going 5 MPH?
Fight for the fifth freedom!

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Post by ubu » Wed Sep 14, 2005 1:49 pm

ha!

yeah, they clocked me with radar as I flew threw the air into that truck. I put a nice dent in the truck, but I did not exceed the air speed limit.

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Did you really have to ask?

Post by SaraSioux » Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:05 pm

Everyone knows Black Rock City is a magical place where encounters of the flesh are very difficult to resist.

At BM 2001, the ex-boyfriend and I shared a commitment ceremony on the playa. It was at the beautiful chapel made of recycled plastics... It glowed so pretty, and a "pastor" in a suit had us say "I do".

It wasn't legal, but I've never said "I do" before. For some reason, in spite of the quirky playfullness of the playa weddings, it *really* meant something to me. Maybe because BRC is more home than real home, maybe because I don't say things like "till death do us part" lightly, but I have always felt like we were genuinely married there.

And then the real world broke us up, the new boy came along, the old memories of the old chapel were long since covered in the dust of reality.

And then, beautiful BM-05. I planned to seek some Playattorneys this year, seek some BRC legal advice, and maybe use the BRCPO to officially deliver the divorce papers to my ex-boyrfriend and current-campmate. I can't just live my life with this secret bond out in the desert to some dude I long since broke up with hanging over my head.

But again, the magic of BRC, I got there and suddenly I didn't want a divorce. Suddenly I'd never met a boy more loving, understanding, thoughtful. No one helped me hop into a porta-potty like he did. He didn't just hold my hand, he held my ELBOW, that's so key. Holding they elbow as well as the hand is totally a sign of love.

So blissful, he just loved me in BRC.

Of course I boned him.

And now here I am back in reality back to the real BF trying to decide if "what happens on the playa stays on the playa" or if "what happens on the playa is reality, and everything else is fake."

Soooo, yeah, moral of the story is, you can't leave one boy at home and take one boy with you and expect everything to be normal. Maybe I should have visited Poly-Paradise after all?

This desert is full of magic.
2005 Cripple Sara
http://www.melodramatic.com/pics/BMAN/

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Post by Cabanasprings » Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:13 pm

Slut!

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Post by blyslv » Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:25 pm

Maybe you should stop dating boys and start dating adults. Also, why the distinction between the "real world" and the "playa world". It's not like Burningman is an ethics-free zone. Or maybe it is, I don't know.
Fight for the fifth freedom!

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Post by Lassen Forge » Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:26 pm

it is true...

What happens on the playa, stays on the playa. Blows away in the dust storms until the next year. Unless you spread that playa dust around. Then it will haunt you forever, like the carpet in your Chevy Truck. (OK, like the dust in the carppet in MY Chevy Truck!!), every time you get near it...

Question - did you really love your default world BF? If so, why did you take the ex- to BRC? KNowing you had a romantic playa history with him. Did you really love your playa BF? If so why did it all explode, and what makes you think that it won't explode again??

Mayhap... you were setting yorself up to destroy that thing you had the other 51 weeks of the year. Even worse, yet worth considering - maybe you get into relationships, they then scare you, and you sabotage them... has been known to happen...

I mean... you make a dif between holding a hand and holding an elbow getting into the porta-potties??!!?? Hon, if that doesn't scream "There are other issues here!!!" nothing does. Seriously.

(Where is the good Dr. Freud and his mobile couch when you need him?...)

You need to ask yourself this - what do you want? Do you want your playa boyfriend or your default boyfriend, or both, or neither? Only once you can answer that question, totally honestly to yourself a few times, can you develop a plan to answer the age old question...

What the fuck do I do now??

bb (Definitely not Abby)

PS - Next year - set up boundaries and hold to them. If you decide to leave what's on the playa there, then LEAVE IT THERE!! Otherwise you're setting yourself up.

bb

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Post by ubu » Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:46 pm

ha!

I think you are reading this all wrong bb. she did not ask for advice. it looks to me like she is wondering if she wants to try to make a go with the old-old boyfriend again post playa. only she knows. the heartbreaker!

A gal I know had her new boyfriend who headed to the playa without her tell her that bman was no place to hook up with strangers. I was like "who is he kidding" until I met the guy last sunday night. Poor guy said he had trouble meeting strangers at all on the playa. can you believe that?

I can't walk out the front door on or off the playa without meeting people.
to each, his or her own experience.

I heard from a friend that matt taibi met a gal who want to show everyone her butt at bman this year and my friend asked me if i had met her; i responded, "that was for matt, that was his burning man, not mine"

I

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Post by flickr » Wed Sep 14, 2005 6:27 pm

Thank you Ubu, for pointing out that SaraSioux did not ask for us to analyze her situation. Seems to me she was just answering the many queries as to what happened with the ex (I have to admit, I was curious too).

It's unfortunate that the whole ex/current situation has now overshadowed what originated as an incredibly beautiful and moving playa story. I'll join the group of criers, and will admit this story moved me completely. I've been in quite a funk since returning from bm and reading this really put me right back there on the playa again. I could really feel the love and community that I felt while I was there. That's what made bm so special for me. I loved the spectacle, but I loved the people even more.

Thanks Sara, for bringing that back to me.
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, devinely aware. -Henry Miller

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Post by Lassen Forge » Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:53 pm

>>huge grins<<

I have to apolgize... but I love playing dear Suzy. One of my many and myriad faults.

I feel for her - I know a lot of people who fall for each other on Playa who have other lives (very good and stable lives) during the other 51 weeks. It can create a conundrum, and cause people to really wonder... Should we chase this or go back to mundane alley?... Will the flash of lust withstand the other 51 weeks? Shjould we get married? What color will we paint the children?

Fortunately for myself, and most of the few people who I love dearly out there, we have our soulmates, which makes it easy not to fall for the magical effects of Playa Dust - especially when it gets into your, er, "nooks and crannies". True, emotions are bare as the wind-scoured playa, feelings are intensified like the sun on a dry alkali lake bed, and people are drawn to each other like... um... that damn mosquito in our camp Monday nite after Exodus to my arm (and everyone elses - greedy bastage!!) , and that may be good at times... but it was never enough to make me even think of jeopardizing my home life and my love for my #1 hunnylover and soulmate. No matter how smitten I may have been. (OK, and still am, to a minor extent...)

Ergo my saying - What happens on the playa...

Hugs and hickies...
bb

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Post by Key Man » Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:29 pm

"Maybe you should stop dating boys and start dating adults. Also, why the distinction between the "real world" and the "playa world". It's not like Burningman is an ethics-free zone. Or maybe it is, I don't know."

blyslv, thanks for a badly needed reality check. Though it may not always be apparent, the real world and BM do share the same planet, and are inexorably linked. A fling with one's ex will hurt the current lover, whether or not said fling occurs on a distant alkalai lakebed. "Integrity".

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Post by ubu » Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:33 am

<--even bigger grin-->

aha! bb speaks from experience. Very interesting. even intriguing.

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Post by RedHeaven » Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:25 pm

Im totally crying, too. What words...a story to remember. Thank you!

It really inspires me for my second burn next year. Cheers, girl!

I cry at other events too, like really amazing music festivals....but I knew that my first burn was going to be extra emotional, the down parts and the tears were half of the experience. INCREDIBLE!!!

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Post by Cabanasprings » Thu Sep 15, 2005 2:50 pm

Boohoo nobody loves me and my campmates are all so mean, boohoo boohoo. If you weren't a self-centered, high maintenance, little slut with no self-respect, maybe people would like you.

So all the cry-babies are curious if you "boned him." I am curious if you told the new boyfriend.

Did you tell your new boyfriend that you are a whore. Did you tell him that you may have brought back an STD and well you may have given it to him? Did you tell him that you might be pregnant and that you might have aids and now he may too? Did you tell him that you have no self-respect? Did you tell him that he should have known and it was really his fault?

I am not crying for you. I am ashamed for you. I am embarrassed for you.

I wish you good luck.
CS

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Post by ZaphodBurner » Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:02 pm

Cabanasprings wrote: Did you tell your new boyfriend that you are a whore.

I am not crying for you. I am ashamed for you. I am embarrassed for you.

CS
Sounds like you both have issues. Sounds like she can overcome hers without abusing people. Sounds like she may have made a mistake, but didn't deliberately set out to hurt somebody.

I respect that. I can't respect people who judge and then heap verbal abuse upon somebody based on a fragment of a story. If you know anybody like that, encourage them to settle their own issues before attacking others'.

-c
"The Red Baron is smart.. He never spends the whole night dancing and drinking root beer.. "-The WWI Flying Ace

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Post by ubu » Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:06 pm

but oh cabana springs, people do like her. apparently quite a bit.

You sound a little bitter. are you not getting or giving enough love?

is it too cruel to you that beauty draws the eye and lovers. are you not a cute young woman like her?

and how presumptuous of you to assume that she does not make her lovers use a condom.

the whole culture is largely infantile and egoistic, you are spitting in the wind if you want others to grow up. and sara and her crew do look very young even for this infantile age. why waste your time damning her, when what she needs is more love.

how dare you call her a whore for following her whims. I call her a free spirit.

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Post by Cabanasprings » Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:56 pm

I have no issues relating to this topic. I just like to give my opinion.


And now I call BULLSHIT Zburn (there's no weed like Oregon weed)

She didn't set out to hurt anybody? How about in the first paragraph?

"The ex-boyfriend I travelled with was excited, "This could be our chance to reconnect!" The drama flowed, the takeoff was intense, the drive went quickly, no mishaps for once."

And she can overcome her issues without abusing anyone. You don't think cheating on her boyfirend is abusive. I do.

I will concede to ubu that she may use condoms and people may like her. Free spirit, whore, free spirit, whore - whore sounds better when spoken.

I get plenty of love and have nothing to be bitter about. I just can't find any bit of self-reliance in her sob story.

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Post by ubu » Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:10 pm

you are presumptuous to the extreme. how do you know what "boyfriend" means, or what kind of agreements she has with her lovers.

you come off indeed as very very bitter though you may deny it.

and let's be really clear here; just how is giving pleasure to and taking pleasure from someone abusive to anyone else? It may wound their narcissicism to know that a lover had pleasure with another, but abusive? You are vulnerable to the charge of infantile narcissicism yourself and utter lack of self reliance if you think that when a friend or lover is with another that they take from you.

I'm not saying it works or that it does not hurt to have a lover love another, but I do know that my pain and jealousy are the purest narcissicism.

You must not have had too many lovers. Or many that lasted.

"What is it a man in a woman does desire
What in all whores is found
the linaements of gratified desire!"

He who desires but acts not breeds pestilence.

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Post by ZaphodBurner » Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:25 pm

Cabanasprings wrote: And now I call BULLSHIT Zburn (there's no weed like Oregon weed)

She didn't set out to hurt anybody? How about in the first paragraph?

"The ex-boyfriend I travelled with was excited, "This could be our chance to reconnect!" The drama flowed, the takeoff was intense, the drive went quickly, no mishaps for once."
Well, my ex-girlfriend ended up a bridesmaid in my wedding. We've "reconnected" (platonic) quite often over the years with and without the other halves in attendance. BFD. One time I flew down to Vegas just to spend a few days with her, and when she came to town she stayed at my apartment, etc. Her husband and I get along great.

I never meant to hurt her--we lived 100 miles apart, had no transportation--when I got drunk one night in 1987 and hooked up with a freshman hottie. Admittedly, it was possibly the final nail in our already-doomed relationship, but, like I said, she ended up being in my wedding five years ago and hikes with the freshman hottie who is now my wife. And she didn't mean to hurt me when she started seeing a friend of mine, to whom she has been married for 10 years now.

People who get caught up in the moment--especially the "what happens in ___ stays in ___" (Vegas, Mardi Gras, BRC, wherever) pseudononsense make mistakes or act impulsively, but that doesn't necessarily mean they meant to hurt anybody.

I believe we simply don't know enough about this to warrant calling her a whore or bitching her out. We don't know anything about her boyfriend; whether he's cool, mean, jealous, codependent, insane, controlling, abusive, cheating, honest, alcoholic, fundamentalist, poly... although if the last was true it probably wouldn't be an issue...

To be honest, we don't even know if "she" is a "she"...between the internet and the Burn community, man, all bets are off! :>

My more-recent ex-girlfriend...I reconnected with her a couple of times. Once, when she played a song I liked, I even sat at the rack and tipped her. We split up when she ran off with a regular who tipped $20s and $50s and took her to Europe, where she ditched him in Amsterdam and then sweet-talked my dad into buying her ticket home. WHORE!!! (She convinced the guy after him to let her keep his BMW.)

-c
(y'damn right about the Oregon weed, btw. I highly recommend it.)
((She had a pet black widow spider. Shoulda known...))
"The Red Baron is smart.. He never spends the whole night dancing and drinking root beer.. "-The WWI Flying Ace

Cabanasprings
Posts: 365
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:18 am

Post by Cabanasprings » Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:36 pm

Presumptuous - such as you saying that I have not had many lovers, or many that lasted, or that i am in denial or I am bitter. How is that for extreme. And let's be very very clear here, my religion is monogomy. I have been married to my best friend for many years and I do not want to share myself with another. I find comfort in the knowledge that my spouse and I share the mutual respect of our union. Our friends get sick of how much we love each other. And the fact that we don't hump every person that lends us a hand does not prevent us from being free spirited. It just keeps us from being whores.

BTW - He who desires but acts not is a mature adult.

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