Signs that you're a Burnerd

consumer · Post by **consumer** » Fri Sep 12, 2003 8:23 pm

- You regard Home Depot and Lowes as "camping stores"

- The only photos you take anymore at BM are of structural components and vehicle mechanics for reference

- You're only truly happy when your conversations include the words geodesic, rebar, dangerous, power inverter and propane.

- You react with fear and anger when you see this:

RebA! · Post by **RebA!** » Fri Sep 12, 2003 9:17 pm

When the old ladies at the fabric stores not only recognize you by name, but know where the "fabric" is going to go to.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Fri Sep 12, 2003 9:57 pm

...when you use zip lock freezer bags for clothing storage.

oh yes, and spending five hours sanding down the 2 by 4s for your shade structure so you won't get splinters when you crash into said structure, drunk and naked at 3 am.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:09 am

princess strych-9 wrote:...drunk and naked at 3 am.

Was that you?

polykarmatic · Post by **polykarmatic** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 8:02 am

when you save dust cover items just for the pleasure of inhaling or dragging your finger through the fine playa residue.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 10:42 am

When you walk into Lowes and half the staff knows you by name, offers ideas on waterproofing, fasteners, electrical and more, and uses your BM project for a reference...he builds stuff to survive 80 mph dust storms....if it works for him it will work for you....you know it's getting bad.

electrolux · Post by **electrolux** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 11:41 am

I used to get self-concious when I went to the fabric store (since I was usually the only guy there)... but not anymore. I still get some weird looks sometimes but then again it's also a good place to meet women.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 11:55 am

PJ wrote:
princess strych-9 wrote:...drunk and naked at 3 am.
Was that you?

well, i wasn't drunk, per se. i was stoned out of my gourd.

Booker · Post by **Booker** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 2:29 pm

it's also a good place to meet women

Yeah, most of 'em on the outward trajectory from 60. Helpful, though.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sat Sep 13, 2003 3:03 pm

Booker wrote:...most of 'em on the outward trajectory from 60...

Patience. They'll look younger soon enough.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 3:44 pm

hey, plenty young beautiful playa bound hussies can be found at those fabric stores. and you don't have to get drunk - all you need is some stealthy fabric store pick up line:

"um, excuse me, will this fabric melt in 115 degree weather?"

or:

"is this gold lame going to chafe my balls?"

or even:

"does this color make me look fat?"

Ivy · Post by **Ivy** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 4:10 pm

I

LOVE

FABRIC STORES!!!

What I love even more is the LA Garment district, where there are like 50 million fabric and trim and craft and show and clothing and lingerie and fabric stores all within like 5 square blocks. and it helps build the burner community--every time I go I meet burners.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 4:13 pm

when you save dust cover items just for the pleasure of inhaling or dragging your finger through the fine playa residue.

And take those items and rub them in your newly washed hair. Hell, no hair salon in San Francisco for any price can give your head that funkiness that the dust brings out. I actaully did this prior to a wedding and I had more women commenting on my locks then were chattering about the bride's gown.

clandyone · Post by **clandyone** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 4:59 pm

This should prolly go in one of the many niggly Tips-N-Trix categories... screw it. Instant playa hair can be accomplished at home, by mooshing together a handful of playa dust and a good-sized blob of Kiehl's Silk Groom. Work through hair. Voila!

In the absence of playa dust, cornstarch or baby powder will work.

(Ha. I said "in the absence of playa dust"... I think I can remember what that was like...)

consumer · Post by **consumer** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:21 pm

I have playa dust on my hands right now... still cleaning!

Here's some more burNERD signs:

- You buy batteries in bulk

- A demolition hammer w/ a ground rod driver is on your christmas list

- You make fun of people in your camp who say "Next year, I'm gonna..."

- You giggle everytime you see a "Jiffy Lube" ad/sign/location

TestesInSac · Post by **TestesInSac** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:12 pm

You have piles of electrical conduit in your back yard, and you're not an electrician.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:15 pm

Or you spend the first few days at work trying to find nooks an crannies where you think you might be able to store your extra stuff so that no one notices.

TazGrl · Post by **TazGrl** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 11:28 pm

...when you take cotton balls to the nooks and crannies of your car's door fittings and trunk so you can use them as air-fresheners in your car to regain that playa-fresh scent....

...when you're cutting lines of playa-dust to take you to that "playa-nirvana" once again...

...when you're 30 minutes late to a departmental meeting at work, and when someone points out what time it is, you say "Time? What's that?"

...when you hear the water-spraying street-cleaning truck rumbling down your street and you take off running after it...

clandyone · Post by **clandyone** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 12:26 am

Here's a symptom that my husband exhibited today:

You refer to routine housework as "doing a MOOP sweep".

Zane5100 · Post by **Zane5100** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 1:35 pm

You walk into your local home electronics store and start asking the sales people if a particular bit of electronics gear can survive a week of dust storms, 110 °F heat, beer (and various other fluids) spillage, and physical shock.

You then ask the sales person what the warranty policy is.

You ask the above questions with a straight face, and you become more annoyed as the sales person rolls on the ground, howling laughter.

Gadg · Post by **Gadg** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:51 pm

...you have a bin of random stuff from last year's burn that only gets cleaned when you're preparing for the next year's event.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:06 pm

Half your canned goods have playa dust on them.

We have a tin of mandarin oranges that have gone to the playa almost as many years as we have.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:09 pm

Let's not even mention the smoked salmon...

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:14 pm

Gadget wrote:...you have a bin of random stuff from last year's burn that only gets cleaned when you're preparing for the next year's event.

A bin?
A bin?
A fucking bin?

God, how I hate you self-righteous neat freaks with your well-organized little lives!

A bin indeed! Grumble, grumble, grumble...

[disclaimer]The foregoing was a joke. Please do not flame Flux. Thank you.[/disclaimer]

Booker · Post by **Booker** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 7:27 am

<snort>

I dump the cans o' stuff at the gate for Mayfield and his buds to eat after a long day of zombie stompin' across the playa, so no legacy cans o' chili making the return trip here. I did, however, haul all my photos, gifty trinkets from last year, and gawd knows what else clear the hell across the country because they were all in the same bin, and I wasn't organized enough to pack in a sane manner.

My sign I'm a burnerd: The shed full of bits & pieces salvaged from broken projects hauled home after the playa had its way with them, because maybe, just maybe, NEXT year's project will need that same sorta bearing, giant U-bolt, or whatever. The way my wife rolls her eyes at this, I'm afraid she'll sprain her forehead.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 2:12 pm

I'm not a burnerd. I'm perfectly well adjusted...

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 2:13 pm

You know you're a burnerd when you think you're prefectly well adjusted.

angelface · Post by **angelface** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 2:21 pm

when you have a picture of yourself in a bra, and boys in catholic school girl outfits on your bulletin board at work, and they were the few out of the collection that can be seen at work..

Alexiis · Post by **Alexiis** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 5:24 pm

...you refuse to take the skanky braids out cause you like the residual "playa scent" that is revived everytime you wash/shake/sleep on them.

michael · Post by **michael** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:53 pm

One week back from the playa 2002…

After sweating like an animal from tearing my house down in the heat of the day, I find enough energy to load the truck and head off to the landfill (80 - 90% of the house is/was being recycled).

While emptying the load I hear a water truck coming. Without thinking, being a dirty bastard and all, I was ready to strip and chase it. As I turn around to verify that it is a water truck a harsh realization hits me. Noticing tons of MOOP surrounding me, I am at the dump, not the on playa.

Side Note:

The amount of garbage created in just one small town is incredible. Try going to the landfill in your town or city once a week and see how much it has filled. After about one year of weekly visits it broke my heart, but I am somewhat better now… sort of.

Signs that you're a Burnerd

Signs that you're a Burnerd

unopened dust covered water bottle. It's like GOLD

You know you're a burner when...

The water truck is coming. Should I shower?