Tell Us Your Worst Burning Man Experience

Scout13 · Post by **Scout13** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:27 pm

Iâ€™ll go first......in 2004 I woke up in my tent and found my dick stuck in a chicken. Every since then I have to hear my stupid campmates tell anyone new who walks into our camp, â€œWhy did Scout cross the road???? Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken.â€

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:40 pm

I'll go 2nd...

Having a good friend from high school call you out of the blue to reconnect.

yadda yadda and the next thing you know he's going to join me at Burning Man...

Oh I thought you meant the BEST Experience Scout.....
True story and yes the BEST...

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:35 pm

I'll go third........

Wow, met the coolest Playa girl, danced, partyed, rocked the camper....

WOHHH...........

O fuck sorry..... wrong thread................. dohhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vanessa cardui · Post by **vanessa cardui** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 3:43 pm

ya, that double rainbow last year pretty much sucked too.

in fact, burningman sucks in general. dont go!

Post by **mdmf007** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:56 pm

vanessa cardui wrote:ya, that double rainbow last year pretty much sucked too. in fact, burningman sucks in general. dont go!

You have to have 35 posts for that level of sarcasm. Sorry

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 9:21 pm

waiting for a truck from ny-midwest in circus circus parking lot for 20 hours, and frantically waving at any 18 wheeler that rolled by, only to find out engine trouble had delayed them and i was to find my way to the site and wait...

the circus circus rent-a-cop was certain i was some lunatic, waiting for godot, swearing they'd be here, they'd show up ANY minute.....yup.....

any minute now.....

took another 10 hours to get to BRC because the newbs i scored a ride with made the classic mistake of walking into wal-mart, stoned...

i think they bought like 6000$ worth of useless crap, against my feeble and somewhat mumbled warnings...

"ooh, stop, hey....um, well......nevermind......"

i took FOREVER....

i just got the usual, a couple of 2 liter plastic bottles of ten-high rotgut, 2 cartons of marbs, enough candy to choke a diabetic horse, and some tylenol pm's...

took me all of 12 minutes.

then to albertson's grocery.....then a stop at some novelty costume place, you get the picture

at this point the combo of drugs and surreal situational mishaps had grown to gargantuan proportions, and i thought i was going to scream, like some bad little kid at church who just cant help himself and doesnt know why he yelled "motherfucker!" during mass, it must be the devil...i digress..

looking back, i suppose i should thank my lucky stars i got a ride....they were kinda cute as they cocked their heads to the side in disbelief when i told them the 100$ worth of feather boas were a playa no-no, and to leave them in the RV until they decompressed, and as they asked me what the "line-up" was and where the main stage was...

yeah, things have been a LOT worse here in DFT world, so i cant complain....

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:57 am

yeah, where is the main stage anyway?
I never did find it...

Scout13 · Post by **Scout13** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:15 am

I heard that Cher was on that never found main stage.

Hey did you guys know that Cher is playing in Las Vegas just before Burning Man? Look at this web site: http://shop.vegas.com/shows/showtimes2. ... sgodSjX65A

The chances are even better that she will show up this year at the burn.....you can only hope!!!

Post by **mdmf007** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:17 am

The main stage is wherever I am at -

thirt33n · Post by **thirt33n** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 10:52 am

...the main stage is in my loincloth and Cher has not found it yet.

vanessa cardui · Post by **vanessa cardui** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:53 pm

mdmf007 wrote:You have to have 35 posts for that level of sarcasm. Sorry

Oooh yay ~ I made it to 35 posts! Now.... when do I get to be snarky?

Post by **AntiM** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:05 pm

When we tell you.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:38 pm

My worst Burning Man experience has not happened yet, but someday it will.

It will be the year I can't go.

Post by **mdmf007** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:58 pm

vanessa cardui wrote:
mdmf007 wrote:You have to have 35 posts for that level of sarcasm. Sorry
Oooh yay ~ I made it to 35 posts! Now.... when do I get to be snarky?

Almost there - you need:

1 to aska dumb question
10 to realize you offended someone
20 to be slightly humorous
35 to be sarcastic and
100 for snarky
500 to be a regular
1000 to be to regular
and 10000 to be a computer god - theres only one of them

So keep it all up, you have graduated to "Sarcastic"

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:38 pm

mdmf007 wrote:
vanessa cardui wrote:
mdmf007 wrote:You have to have 35 posts for that level of sarcasm. Sorry
Oooh yay ~ I made it to 35 posts! Now.... when do I get to be snarky?
Almost there - you need:

1 to aska dumb question
10 to realize you offended someone
20 to be slightly humorous
35 to be sarcastic and
100 for snarky
500 to be a regular
1000 to be to regular
and 10000 to be a computer god - theres only one of them

So keep it all up, you have graduated to "Sarcastic"

When do I get to be snarky?

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:21 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
mdmf007 wrote:
vanessa cardui wrote: Oooh yay ~ I made it to 35 posts! Now.... when do I get to be snarky?
Almost there - you need:

1 to aska dumb question
10 to realize you offended someone
20 to be slightly humorous
35 to be sarcastic and
100 for snarky
500 to be a regular
1000 to be to regular
and 10000 to be a computer god - theres only one of them

So keep it all up, you have graduated to "Sarcastic"
When do I get to be snarky?

Fishy, babe, you OWN snarky and all the others. Take your pick - any time.

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:42 pm

mdmf007 wrote: 500 to be a regular

Really? I'm only 45 past regular?

(edit: posted @ 545 posts PST)

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:09 pm

Yah, I'm regular...

Plenty of roughage.

My worse experience was sitting in the Kommissary 3 years ago, by myself, thinking pretty much what I put in the core dump rant last week. It's seconded by friday last year when that prick seriously tried to take my megaphone from me in front of the Mantis. And thirded by my first day on-playa in 2005 when I had a bad med reaction and alienated myself from Tokyo.

Post by **mdmf007** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:10 pm

Fishy - your the only grand pooobaaa here.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:06 pm

Center camp on Saturday around 11:00

Portapotties by the third day then most days after midday or until they come to clean them- thank the gods for Robbi Dobbs and crew. They didn't make enough Robbi's

Then when they tell ya you can't stay here on the playa several days after the event.

Until the next year's end of august

ragabashpup · Post by **ragabashpup** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:32 pm

Not being able to go last year.

The big one for me was taking 24 hours to make a 13 - 16 hour drive my first year since everyone in our caravan had to stop every 30 minutes then spend 2 hours in the last Wally World in Oregon because they didn't prepare better before they left.

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:28 pm

CLARKcon · Post by **CLARKcon** » Fri May 02, 2008 11:55 am

Worst was this last year (07'), and it didn't even happen to me directly. Was making coffee on Wednesday and heard a neighbor say "No, no, no..." I looked up just in time to and looked about a mile out to see a skydiver who's chute didn't open all the way, and was coming down hard and fast with no resistence. That image was burned into my brain...don't know if they survived or not. Upon Exodus, just sitting there idling, I closed my eyes to rest. About 15 seconds later, that incident was vibrantly replayed in my head, along with a montage of memories of my friend's father(who'd recently passed) and my mother. I spent the next 10 in an uncontrollable gasping sob...it felt good to let it out...ahhh healing

Teo del Fuego · Post by **Teo del Fuego** » Fri May 02, 2008 1:12 pm

'06, broke up with a nutso girlfriend two months before Burn. Her first burn, using a ticket I bought for her, was dedicated to making my playa experience a living hell. She had a newly adopted militant feminazi who spread obnoxious rumors about me to my old camp mates.

Fortunately, the truth has a way of coming out and rumors were replaced with awareness.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Fri May 02, 2008 1:25 pm

Welcome to Camp Crazy Fucking Bitch!
Located conveniently near Bummerland.
As we pass on the left, may we direct your attention to your own inadequacies?
Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.

Even in a year with psychodrama, I had a great time anyway.
Can't seem to remember her name now....
Not a girlfriend either.
Match that!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri May 02, 2008 5:06 pm

02'.....15 sheriffs and BLM etc.....me face down on the ground....60 days pershing county jail.....motorcycle lost to the impound.....

but it happened on monday morning, right b4 exodus, so no biggie.

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Fri May 02, 2008 5:26 pm

Exodus 05 - Our bus was going to various camps to pick up folks who were traveling with it. We started at noon. Got to one camp and the guy we were picking up wasn't ready, he couldn't find the key to his storage locker in Reno. Then he asked us to help tear down their camp. I might not have minded if there weren't people just sitting around on couches doing nothing. We thought it would help get us out of there, so we did. Took apart a dome and then said fuck it. Went and waited in the bus. He came by and brought us booze and asked us to wait. We waited for 4 hours and then he told us to go on without him!!!!! Didn't get into Reno until 2am and I had an 8am flight.

grrrrr.......still makes me mad.

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:09 pm

mmmmmmm... yea, had a few "show stoppers"....... But, I always find it kewl/strange/timely/and weird.... How the Playa always "provides"...... It's too hard to describe......

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Fri May 02, 2008 7:51 pm

CLARKcon wrote:Worst was this last year (07'), and it didn't even happen to me directly. Was making coffee on Wednesday and heard a neighbor say "No, no, no..." I looked up just in time to and looked about a mile out to see a skydiver who's chute didn't open all the way, and was coming down hard and fast with no resistence. That image was burned into my brain...don't know if they survived or not. Upon Exodus, just sitting there idling, I closed my eyes to rest. About 15 seconds later, that incident was vibrantly replayed in my head, along with a montage of memories of my friend's father(who'd recently passed) and my mother. I spent the next 10 in an uncontrollable gasping sob...it felt good to let it out...ahhh healing

CC, My wife and I saw the same thing, we were center Playa and they were landing all around us at the time. I saw a chute with no skydiver attached to t land about 5 and a few streets in.. A guy walking past us asked if we saw a chute land anywhere. It was his chute and he had to do a cut away.. He said it was scary... Yea no shit..... Don't know if it's the same thing you saw or not....

Post by **mdmf007** » Sat May 03, 2008 8:53 pm

No one splatted on playa 2007.

Tell Us Your Worst Burning Man Experience

Tell Us Your Worst Burning Man Experience

Worst BM experience