I realize a great part of it was that I did not find the 'right' group, but a major part is all these expectations I had because of such an incredible experience from last year.
I was thinking of starting my own thing call HEALING MAN, but the BM lawyers will probably come after me.
Anyway rather than turn this into a bitching session, here are my biggest grips and area of possible IMPROVEMENT, as all I am trying to do here be positive about ways the City can continue to grow in a POSITIVE direction.
First point, is that we should not rely on drug or alcohol to connect with people, and from my experiences, this seems to be the main point of attraction. Rarely doesn't somebody invite somebody to a dinner, but 'have a beer' you hear all day, even 6 or 7am in the morning.
Second is that we should challenge ourselves to check our ego and negative emotions at the door. When ego gets involved that interferes with our ability to connect. And a great deal of the art and customs is ego based (everybody trying to do one up than the next). Also some of the worker, DPT, Ranger, medics may have superiority complexes, and feel like their volunteer role is more important than the next.
Third is that we should connect withe everybody at the Playa, not just our individual camps.
I did do yoga and some healing, but still in my monkey mind, find in challenging to focus on my own healing with all these hotties walking around in dental floss -- i did connect with many people, and only want to feel like i can connect with everybody on some level.
Perhaps, my greatest dream in this social experiment is to find a way to attract the right people, so that rules aren't needed and everybody just naturally respects one another. One of the things that shocked me was the behind the scenes political garbage that came to surface, which really taught me that burning man people are really the same as all the 'outside' people and almost made me feel as if there is no reason to go to burning man as I get the same thing on the outside. I actually went to the hotpsprings for a night and had an incredible time away from all the chaos.
I hate to bursts anybodies bubble, but there is a reason that long-time burners are decided more and more NOT to go. If we don't do something about these issues, then Black Rock City will soon be deserted (no pun intended)
These are just some of my thoughts, and I would love for anyone to share. As I think there are many people who many feel how i do. These are for people who ARE interested in the the truth.
, what about this leave no trace bullshit.. sounds great, but the do as I say, not as I do is nuts.... while driving to one of the hotsprings, I noticed a whole area with burnt up cars and complete gargage, about 20 miles off Jungo road. 
and good luck to you.
