MyOwnDamnFault (street signs)

Post by **AntiM** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 11:46 am

Cross-posted from Triibe, where I am sure the answers will also be colorful.

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I should do this or that" and then not? Convinced yourself things were OK and later regretted inaction? I did this year.

We were camped in Hushville, at the T junction of 5 and Extinct. I wound a string of green solar lights up the street sign, and we screwed on the Ranger Genius sign so people would know there was a ranger handy. This was, of course, right in front of Anti M's Home for Wayward Art. The junction street sign had out multi-colored lights. These were great, easy to spot coming back at night.

Throughout the week we talked about the street signs, knowing they were probably going to be stolen. We decided not to strip out the screws, as we'd idly discussed. On burn night, our rangers departed and we were prepping for fire safety for a conclave. "Should we take down the signs?" "Naw, they will just unscrew them anyway." "Think the lights will be okay?" "Yeah. no one will fuck with the lights too much." Although I had that tickle in my mind, I didn't take down my lights or RG's sign (handpainted by me and has been to the playa five years in a row). I left it to chance to my regret.

Coming back after the burn, I noticed the lights looked funny. Sure enough, the signs were gone ... snapped off. My lights had been cut and RG's sign was gone too, but obviously broken by the piece of it on the ground. I was furious, but I knew I should have taken my things off the post. Still, bastards. There was a cardboard sign on the T junction, with a heart saying the Heathens loved us. I don't know if the heathens broke my lights or not ... if yes, well then. You know my opinion of you.

We spent an evening venting and planning nefarious ways to fuck with sign stealers. I like the secured aircraft cable, Genius leans toward a dousing of skunk oil. Mace and razor wire? Over the top, so no on those. I also lean toward fake replacement signs which are labeled "$5.00 and Excrement". After all, we know where we'll be camping and aboput the size, shape and appearance of said signs.

Mind you, I am at peace with the act of stealing signs; I disapprove but know it is inevitable. I fucking hate sign stealers who destroy the personal property of others in their quest for souvenirs. Fucking tourists. Yes, tourists. Most burners I know don't need street signs to remind them of home.

I left a curse in Sharpie on the Post:

To the fuckwads who cut my lights and stole our Ranger Genius sign, may you NEVER have a Good Burn again. Your spirit has been exiled from the playa, assholes. You will sunburn. You will get food poisoning. Your shade will fail. Your booze will be stolen. The BLM will cite you. Your bike seat will be hard and uncomfortable. Your porto will never have paper. You will never get laid. Your drugs will suck. Your genitalia will get caught in your zipper. Your bacon will be vegan. The DPW will skullfuck your mom.

Next year I will remove my lights, etc., in a timely fashion. I do recommend one reads what signs they are taking, they may not say what you think they should.

pandasex · Post by **pandasex** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:00 pm

it was disappointing for me too to see signs taken off last year and this year. It is a total tourist action.

I ended up one night at 530 (or 500 cant remember) and same number.
i told my husband

"we are at the nexus of Burning Man!"

we laughed for a minute.

I think that the only thing we can all do is when we see others doing disrespectful things politely tell them
"that is NOT a very burner thing to do"

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 7:52 pm

I was stuck, tending bar at roller disco 24/7 in 2008. Which was fine,since I loved the job. I went back to my tent for supplies. And found a couple screwing on my air bed. Thinking it was a campmate I told to take a rest, I walked away. Hours later I went back, to find my carton of smokes gone. Along with camp drama, this was not good.
A couple days later, Ygmir arrived, to partake in some absinthe I had promised. I went back to my tent, to get it. It was well hidden, but someone found it. I apologized to Ygmir and proceeded to lose it. I beat the shit out of the bar, I built myself...grabbed the remaining vodka, and hid out at Spikes. I left, early the next morning. Missed the burn but saw it on TV. Theives at burning man need to be turned over to the DPW. Fuck em!

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:15 pm

I like to wrap possibly stolen objects in line with triple fishhooks on it and anchor it well.

Coating the signs in squirrel away might have interesting results longterm.

i found some stolen signs in a camp of long time burners who claimed it was a "tradition".
I told them they were assholes.
Why would anyone want a sign away from the playa?

The magic will be gone and only the shame of thievery remains.

DPW- HOW ABOUT MAKING BREAKAWAY SIGNS WITH CROSSCUT WEAK SPOTS SO THEY SHATTER?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:27 pm

how about a 12 volt ignition coil?................

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:39 pm

How about a crt high voltage output?
They aren't hard to get.

I can get very pure refined pepper if you're interested.(stronger than pepper spray)
And this stuff is now available in 2.5 pound bags.
We're weaponizing it here.

Post by **AntiM** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:59 pm

I don't want to hurt people! Well, I do, but I know it isn't right.

I'd rather inconvenience and embarrass, more my style.

Recoil · Post by **Recoil** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:00 am

I would like to set up a set of bright spot lights on a sign and await in the dark for some one to try and steal on then hit the switch and see what happens...

pandasex · Post by **pandasex** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:30 am

TomServo wrote:I was stuck, tending bar at roller disco 24/7 in 2008. Which was fine,since I loved the job. I went back to my tent for supplies. And found a couple screwing on my air bed. Thinking it was a campmate I told to take a rest, I walked away. Hours later I went back, to find my carton of smokes gone. Along with camp drama, this was not good.
A couple days later, Ygmir arrived, to partake in some absinthe I had promised. I went back to my tent, to get it. It was well hidden, but someone found it. I apologized to Ygmir and proceeded to lose it. I beat the shit out of the bar, I built myself...grabbed the remaining vodka, and hid out at Spikes. I left, early the next morning. Missed the burn but saw it on TV. Theives at burning man need to be turned over to the DPW. Fuck em!

man that is messed up!!!! I cant imagine what kind of assholes would do that....im sorry. I would want to leave early too. There is just so much preparation involved in BM for all of us and then for someone to take that is just a serious smack in the face. These are the ppl cops need to be taking care of.

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:55 am

I sort of like the skunk oils idea.

Imagine the ride home.

mojo · Post by **mojo** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:01 pm

I was standing on the top of my RV on Saturday when I saw one of the signs strolling slowly down the street with an asshole under it. I screamed at him but couldn't get down quick enough to catch up with him....

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:06 pm

our sign got stolen, (5 and Chaos), and, we made a cardboard replacement.........
and, when fellow started to steal that, he was verbally accosted by us to such and extent, he not only left it alone, he walked over and apologized......and we gave him refreshment and all parted happy.........

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:49 pm

Faux sign: $5.00 and Cocksucker.

But then they'd become collectible.

$5.00 and Cholera.

Post by **Elderberry** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:10 pm

I've always been tempted to take a sign, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I always felt they were too important to people trying to find their way on the playa.

JK

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:37 pm

jkisha wrote:I've always been tempted to take a sign, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I always felt they were too important to people trying to find their way on the playa.

JK

and, I bet you take the Gideons bibles out of motel rooms.......you spiritual prankster you.......

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:08 pm

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:21 pm

ygmir wrote:
jkisha wrote:I've always been tempted to take a sign, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I always felt they were too important to people trying to find their way on the playa.

JK
and, I bet you take the Gideons bibles out of motel rooms.......you spiritual prankster you.......

I don't, I edit for content.

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:31 pm

I edit for content.

In the beginning was the wod and the wod was good.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:52 pm

Artemis wrote:
I edit for content.
In the beginning was the wod and the wod was good.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 8:55 pm

Anyone know of a store that sells bear traps? Think I have an idea. Theft at burning man sucks. I don't blame, but cast a suspicious eye on the "ME" newbies. My tent is NOT your commissary! And to the gold digger getting laid...yes, I have the pin you left...and to your friend ,its a good thing I was mistaken that night. I always wear steel toes at night.

Weebdog · Post by **Weebdog** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:10 pm

Stealing signs are all fun unless you are with the Emergency Services and you need them to respond to a call. While working with the fire dept on Sat, of the Burn, we listened to the medical folks trying to get to a call on the 9:00 side, but couldn't get there becouse they were lost. This was during a mild dust storm, so they had a hard time seeing any landmarks for navigation. The city changes when it gets dark - sign posts are important!

curiousgnate · Post by **curiousgnate** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:31 pm

what the fuck! we all know the signs will be gone by the time the man burns, as far as other stuff onthe posts well thats just mean. but really. I took a sign this year, and replaced it with a cardboard sign. go ahead bash me i don't give a fuck the only reason that they need to be there is emergency services,a nd i covered that aspect. other than that tourists have to figure out where they are and that is fucking amusing. the rest of us know where we are or will ask someone, imagine that haveing to talk to someone you don't know. replace them with cardboard and all is well in my soul. get the fucking fuck over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yes it is a great reminder of where i was for a wekk so blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhppppppppptttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:45 pm

curiousgnate wrote:what the fuck! we all know the signs will be gone by the time the man burns, as far as other stuff onthe posts well thats just mean. but really. I took a sign this year, and replaced it with a cardboard sign. go ahead bash me i don't give a fuck the only reason that they need to be there is emergency services,a nd i covered that aspect. other than that tourists have to figure out where they are and that is fucking amusing. the rest of us know where we are or will ask someone, imagine that haveing to talk to someone you don't know. replace them with cardboard and all is well in my soul. get the fucking fuck over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yes it is a great reminder of where i was for a wekk so blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhppppppppptttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It was much longer than a wekk! It was a whole week! Street signs are useful. Especially on the dark playa. Stay the fuck out of my tent and were cool. Let's get out of the habit of stealing... leave the signs alone. Offer dpw a bottle of jack or old crown and id bet they'd make you one.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:58 am

Most signs seemed to be gone by friday morning this year.
Even the Esplanade signs were being stolen.

Asshole Arrival Time, apparently.

Here's an idea.
Make a cardboard sign in pencil for yourself and take that home.
Or wait until monday to steal signs.

Oddly, my memory of burning man seems to function without a street sign.

BitterDan · Post by **BitterDan** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 1:31 am

Oh come on, are you really complaining about people stealing the street signs? This has gone on for how many years? If by Friday you don't know the city well enough to get home then who is the tourist? Seriously, you KNOW they are going to be stolen and yet you still don't know your way home? As far as I know nobody was stealing the orange street markers so you always had directional markers even without the street signs. You booby trap the signs and we might booby trap your tent. Sorry.

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 3:10 am

BitterDan wrote:Oh come on, are you really complaining about people stealing the street signs? This has gone on for how many years? If by Friday you don't know the city well enough to get home then who is the tourist? Seriously, you KNOW they are going to be stolen and yet you still don't know your way home? As far as I know nobody was stealing the orange street markers so you always had directional markers even without the street signs. You booby trap the signs and we might booby trap your tent. Sorry.

Reread the damn post. I was bitching that they'd ripped up my lights. I know about the fucking orange poles, I know my way around the city, I don't need the fucking signs.

Booby trap my tent? Very nice, real nice. Like I said, read the damn post.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 4:24 am

AntiM wrote: know my way around the city, I don't need the fucking signs.

Well, I sure as fuck do.
How many intersections this year?
An everchanging curved city with umpteen intersections!

And unlike some spectators, I'm still doing things on monday night.

Stealing signs is the opposite of being part of Black Rock City.

Take your street signs and stay home next year.

BitterDan · Post by **BitterDan** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 9:45 am

AntiM wrote:
Reread the damn post. I was bitching that they'd ripped up my lights. I know about the fucking orange poles, I know my way around the city, I don't need the fucking signs.

Booby trap my tent? Very nice, real nice. Like I said, read the damn post.

Lighten up Anti M. I wasn't even referring to you. I was talking about TomServo's suggestion to booby trap the signs. Maybe you need to reread the thread. Jeez

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 9:45 am

Somebody ripped off the sign at 3 and F. I had tied our camp's sign to the backup sign for the intersection, so we became one of the landmarks/eyesores that helped people find their way. Got to meet a lot of people who asked for directions.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:27 am

How easy are the orange posts to read? From a vehicle? At night or in a dust storm?