it's time to take your hands out of your pockets for more than just a sassy tip of the hat. we know you secretly want to slap your girlfriend with both hands for dragging you out to this hell on earth, and then making you pose in front of goddamn everything - "look, honey! it's a penguin! go up to it and i'll take your picture."
all those burning man pictures she showed you on the internets and all the official borg literature she made your study late at night instead of having sex like normal people, didn't prepare you for the horror you are now hopelessly submerged in. the ecstasy trip last night left you shivering & shaking, and now in the warming glow of morning sunlight that rabbit fur vest you bought for your girlfriend 4 years ago (that she wore only once, the day you bought it) is making you sweat.
when you're not walking around with your hands in your pockets being told what to do by your girlfriend, you've been fiddling with that dangling car key trying to drum up the courage to make a break for reno and moop the bitch on the playa.
the only person in a worse situation than you, is that DPW hoodie behind you. that little gutter rat grunt is right now being ordered by that crimson rose character to sacrifice his safety by building some dangerously oversized artsy-piece-of-shit that you'll be posing in front of later in the week. after he takes the helicopter ride back to reno, he'll be back on the playa and back to work two days later because he only received a broken collar bone and mild concussion from the fall.
don't let it bother you though, bro. you still have the key to your freedom, dangling on that carabiner. your amazing saving grace in this moment of time (and never let this slip away) is that you are neither a poseur, wannabe, or try-hard; you are a burner.
lesson you didn't learn from last year: you'll learn it next year.
