On the way to the Trojan Horse burn I maneuvered threw the gathering crowds, a lost flashing LED bike light laying in the playa dust catches my eye and I pick it up. The on/off switch doesn’t work, the light flashes strobe like in patterns, I hook it off my bike seat. We pass the triple decker double length bus covered with neon, fur and 10 foot quad speakers and open our cans of beer in front of the wall of mutant vehicles, rolling houses, land yachts, mass transit discos, V8 flamethrower technicals, and other mechanized BRC objet d'arts. The crowd gathered in, space became tight. All around were the sounds and sights of Black Rock City. Lasers and EL wire lights flashed and illuminated the playa, immense competing sound systems from every direction. Sporadic fireworks lit the sky. Another vibrant electric night on the playa. Anticipation and excitement radiated as bright as the varied light displays circling the horse.
Someone taps my shoulder and I turn around. A short older huddled man admonishes me, “I’m handicapped and have to sit.” He indicates the lawn seats set up next to the bus a hundred feet behind us. “You’re standing in my way. The rest of us want to see the event also.” And he wades thru the crowd back to his chair, leaving me with the guilt complex. How was I to know? I shamefully glance around at the enormous crowd I’m dwarfed in. The throng is now so tight that I only have room to kneel, next to some standing people. But I am the one who is in the way…
Kneeling now, my shoulder is tapped again. The young lady behind us informs me that the flashing LED light hooked on my bike is bothering them, don’t I know how to turn it off?
Sometimes ya think after a couple crazy nights out on the playa, there ain’t nothin’ your gonna experience that will hit you fresh, but then it does. I look around me, at the crazy landscape surrounding us. How many thousands…? How much propane was going up? How many generators running? Where are those monster buses stored anyway? Senses were multi-directionally stimulated. So many borders being pushed. An accumulation of sight and sounds and people….
And here I was THAT guy?! I had to ask them, “In this whole wild scene, the most distracting thing out on this entire playa is me? Really?” I looked around at the spectacular displays occurring around us. Unbelievable. I totally rule this scene! Popped open another beer and waited for the flaming arrows to fly.
So I just wanted to apologize to all those Burners out on the playa that night, those whose enjoyment of the Trojan Horse burn, and, therefore, the distilled accumulation of their entire Burning Man experience, I personally ruined. I was that Asshat.
"If this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others?"
- Voltaire, Candide