Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

[The Hustler]

I really don't think there is a pissing on people epidemic at burning man. It could happen at just about any big event. I wouldn't worry about it to much...

Why oh why do I have a bad feeling that this statement may come back to bite you when you least expect it??


*tinkle*tinkle*

What about the pee funnel camp? I imagine they have some stories ...

[StaceyS]

I'm throwing this one in here for the educational value it may hold:

I posted similar in the "Pulsing" threads (pulsing, as in what was supposed to be happening during Exodus, versus what happens out on the open Playa, in the dark, er, yeah, that other stuff... )

I noticed quite a few people left their vehicles completely unattended. When the pulse happened, there were a bunch of times where a completely empty vehicle would block an entire lane. And it wasn't just a case of them hanging out a few cars away, not paying attention, or even people fast asleep (that was common, but easily corrected). I watched 2 people from a truck a few cars ahead of me got out of the truck, pulled 2 bikes off the back and rode off back to the city. No one else left in the truck. Pulse happened and we were stuck.

On top of this is that the org really encourages people to stick to their lanes, so there's a certain amount of anger that is sparked when people see you trying to change lanes, never mind if its legitimately to simply get around an abandoned vehicle.

I saw this at least 15 times in my 6 hour exodus, and 4 of them happened in my lane alone. The last time we were at least one or 2 pulses from the pavement in the far right lane, I watched the pulsing coming towards us, but we weren't moving. Sat, waiting. The neighboring lane starts moving, and I can see that our lane way up ahead was completely empty. Sat there for another 15 minutes before I noticed people walking around a few cars ahead of me. I got out and saw people milling around a white Ford Transit Connect. Closed up, windows up, doors locked, no one home. I turned to the drivers of the 2 cars in front of me and directed them to the small space between the Transit and the flag fence. We managed to squeeze past the Transit and made it all the way to the asphalt without stopping. Unfortunately, the RV behind me wasn't able to pull off the same maneuver.

My suggestion on the pulsing threads was to see if we could have 2 people on ATVs with horns and PA's travel from the highway up the access road alerting people to a coming pulse and get back to their vehicles.

[Dr. Pyro]

My suggestion on the pulsing threads was to see if we could have 2 people on ATVs with horns and PA's travel from the highway up the access road alerting people to a coming pulse and get back to their vehicles.

That's actually a pretty darn good idea.

[DoctorIknow]

I really don't think there is a pissing on people epidemic at burning man. It could happen at just about any big event. I wouldn't worry about it to much...

I didn't see what my Top Asshat of all burns ever did with my 3 quarts of piss that I'd just brought out of the tent to take to the porta-potties, but he targeted my gallon bottle as I was turned away, and just ran like hell with it.

There is no doubt in my mind that some burners had something soaked with the aged ultra foul concoction. Hideous.

If it had been me having my burn destroyed by this asshat, I'd never have come back for sure, or if I did, it would be with a bike seat rigged with a remote controlled taser to zap some other asshat who stole the rigged bike. Then I would be the bigger asshat. (especially if I waited for them to get to top speed before zapping their ass.

A no win game being an asshat.

[BlueCross]

In response to StacyS:

Hi! I'm BlueCross, the Manager of Exodus and Traffic for BM. Thank you for posting your thoughts. I wanted to address some of what you posted, and let you in on some of our thinking.

"I noticed quite a few people left their vehicles completely
unattended. When the pulse happened, there were a bunch of times where
a completely empty vehicle would block an entire lane...
Pulse happened and we were stuck."

We intend the period between pulses to be a time where participants can get out of their vehicles and interact with each other. It has turned an all-painful often-negative experience into a much more positive one for most people. We do recognize that some people will abandon their vehicles and miss the pulse. There are twothings we do to help mitigate that:
1) We announce the imminent pulse on BMIR. We hope those that hear it will be kind enough to spread the word. We know that doesn't help if someone is simply gone from their vehicle.
2) We make the lanes 20 feet wide. This is ample room for nearly any kind of vehicle to get around nearly any other kind of stopped vehicle without having to merge into the next lane. We do this on purpose and encourage you to pass IN YOUR LANE if a vehicle is stopped and not moving.

"On top of this is that the org really encourages people to stick to
their lanes..."

This is kind of true, from the past, because sometimes we implement traffic patterns that release one lane at a time, and lane jumpers foul that system. This will no longer be true into the future...we are eliminating any kind of individual lane releases. Makes the system more fair and easier to administer. And, as I pointed out before, lanes are wide enough to pass without leaving your lane. What we don't want to happen is for people to MERGE, uinless they see a sign telling them to merge at a certain point, or cones are explicitly laid out to cause a merge (but that rarely happens). Unintended merges cause systemic imbalances.

"My suggestion on the pulsing threads was to see if we could have 2
people on ATVs with horns and PA's travel from the highway up the
access road alerting people to a coming pulse and get back to their
vehicles."

That is a great idea. We may do something like that. Or maybe trucks with ambers, horns blazing. Good suggestion. It has been received.

Anyone who has ideas, I encourage you to write me (as I don't monitor ePlaya regularly enough to catch stuff..) at bluecross@burningman.com

[Savannah]

Thank you, Blue Cross! I love it that StacyS's interesting idea will be considered.

I have to say . . . despite exodus taking 6 hours for me and my co-pilot this year (my longest exodus yet) we had a great time talking to people during the wait. Our longest stopped period was probably 45 minutes, and there were numerous other 30 minute periods of complete stoppage. But I served beverages, he served ice cream, we blasted music, and I ran into hometown friends I hadn't seen all week ('cause I'm just that bad) including a virgin friend of mine who had some great stories to tell, and a driver badly in need of my Pedialyte.

So . . . considering how long it took, the pulse was an oddly positive experience.

Anyway, thanks again.

[illy dilly]

So . . . considering how long it took, the pulse was an oddly positive experience.

Anyway, thanks again.

Damn straight!
Pulsing is new, and has kinks that will need to be worked out... but its NEW(ish), so it will only get better and more awesome!
I have a feeling that "Pulsing Treats" are going to become more and more common. People will start stashing those last 10 otter-pops to hand out at exodus, or people will start coming up with "RV roof performances", or something along those lines.

Exodus before pulsing was pretty F-ing terrible!!!!!!!!!!

[Harinama]

Those who run generators, and don't give a crap about their neighbors are complete aholes.

It's the desert, if you need ac go to the Gerlach Hilton..

I refuse to let a camp near by mine, invade our sound space with a 24/7 generator again. It will be sabotaged, trust me.

[illy dilly]

go to the Gerlach Hilton..

There's a Hilton in Gerlach?

[knowmad]

go to the Gerlach Hilton..

There's a Hilton in Gerlach?

Her number is in the loo at Brunos.

[The Hustler]

go to the Gerlach Hilton..

There's a Hilton in Gerlach?

Her number is in the loo at Brunos.

She gave me a bad case of the Bombay Wang Tang. I still have an itchy poker from that ...

[illy dilly]

There's a Hilton in Gerlach?

Her number is in the loo at Brunos.

She gave me a bad case of the Bombay Wang Tang. I still have an itchy poker from that ...

But she does have AC in her Trailer right?

[tamarakay]

Those who run generators, and don't give a crap about their neighbors are complete aholes.

It's the desert, if you need ac go to the Gerlach Hilton..

I refuse to let a camp near by mine, invade our sound space with a 24/7 generator again. It will be sabotaged, trust me.

Then I would suggest that you are the bigger asshat. Destroying someone else's property is unacceptable. Laws of the state still apply and this is one of those situations where you bet your ass I would find a cop. Earplugs are cheaper than bail.
Discussions with neighbors about sound issues, assistance with figuring out a baffling system, all kinds of options.

We run a small generator at night as my husband has sleep apnea and needs to use his cpap machine to keep breathing. How does manslaughter sound to you asshat?

[illy dilly]

Those who run generators, and don't give a crap about their neighbors are complete aholes.

It's the desert, if you need ac go to the Gerlach Hilton..

I refuse to let a camp near by mine, invade our sound space with a 24/7 generator again. It will be sabotaged, trust me.

Then I would suggest that you are the bigger asshat. Destroying someone else's property is unacceptable. Laws of the state still apply and this is one of those situations where you bet your ass I would find a cop. Earplugs are cheaper than bail.
Discussions with neighbors about sound issues, assistance with figuring out a baffling system, all kinds of options.

We run a small generator at night as my husband has sleep apnea and needs to use his cpap machine to keep breathing. How does manslaughter sound to you asshat?

Hell yeah TK!
Well put!!!

I couldn't figure out how to say something similar with out guaranteeing an ass woop'en and total camp destruction.

[Savannah]

Yep. I don't like loud gennies either, and I understand the anger with those who are inconsiderate, but best to talk your problems out with your neighbors than be lazy & foolish and skip straight to the illegal and/or dangerous.

Last year I camped next to a person who had promised to run her generator only during the day for A/C, and she did. During the day, she shared her cool air with a few tent campers who'd not slept well and needed a cool place to nap. On the one occasion when she left it on at night and accidentally fell asleep, I banged on the door and entreated her to shut it off and she did. It was awesome. I didn't have to vandalize anything or kill anyone sleeping on a CPAP machine.

Baffle Box thread for Quieter Generators:
viewtopic.php?t=54099

[The Hustler]

Besides, if you're so delicate and selfish and mean that you can't sleep through a little noise and feel the need to be destructive, then you don't belong in Black Rock City.

[gyre]

The bad ones can be incredibly bad.

On the other hand, I slept near one running all the time in one camp.
No complaints.

[Rice]

Those who run generators, and don't give a crap about their neighbors are complete aholes.

It's the desert, if you need ac go to the Gerlach Hilton..

I refuse to let a camp near by mine, invade our sound space with a 24/7 generator again. It will be sabotaged, trust me.

Sure, loud generators can be a PIA. As can loud music, revving engines, chimes, or children playing.

Wrecking other peoples stuff is not cool!

Seriously, a mature person would talk to their neighbour and try and work something out. If that does not work, find a BRC Ranger.

[trilobyte]

Vandalizing someone's property is not just uncool, it's a crime.

In most cases, the people firing up the noisy generator are just a bunch of friends who are excited to finally get to BRC and just didn't give any thought to noise levels for neighbors. Go say hello and be nice and talk to your neighbors. Keep things friendly, and odds are they'd be open to changing some things around so everybody's happy. If you feel you're not capable of doing that, or the other party's being a jerk, get a ranger to help mediate.

[Bob]

Um, okay.

How about you people with generators put them inside your camp space instead of in back of your trailer/RV/whatever? Your outside is usually in somebody else's insides, after all.

Jesus fuck, I hate people.

[Dr Helix]

Um, okay.

How about you people with generators put them inside your camp space instead of in back of your trailer/RV/whatever? Your outside is usually in somebody else's insides, after all.

Jesus fuck, I hate people.

I only quoted this because of Bob's last comment. "Jesus fuck, I hate people." Pure gold Bob.

Gennies. There's only one and it's name is HONDA. Perfect balance of work and quiet. The absolute best. End of story

[DoctorIknow]

There's only one and it's name is HONDA. Perfect balance of work and quiet. The absolute best. End of story

Damn, Honda genny evangelists on eplaya are like macbots everywhere!

There are other options....take the 2000 watts gennys (stats from respective manufacture sites):

YAMAHA EF2000IS PORTABLE PARALLEL INVERTER GENERATOR 2000 WATT
Noise Level 1/4 Load/ Full Load 51.5 dBA / 61dBA

Honda EU2000ia
53-59dBA measured at 9 feet

And, the Yamaha just looks 100 times more sexy.
Plus, get two, and connect them together for close to 4000watts and a backup if failure of one!)

[Bob]

Which one of those has a locking gas cap?

[junglesmacks]

I nominate the dimwit that brought a bunch of red foam balls by the truckload and just set them down for everyone to indulge in. Indulge they did.. until they were blowing everywhere.. ending up miles in every direction. The gnarliest case of MOOP by poor design that I've ever witnessed.



Oh, wait.. that was 2012.

[BBadger]

I nominate the dimwit that brought a bunch of red foam balls by the truckload and just set them down for everyone to indulge in. Indulge they did.. until they were blowing everywhere.. ending up miles in every direction. The gnarliest case of MOOP by poor design that I've ever witnessed.

Oh, wait.. that was 2012.

That's one of those times where you think you've seen the worst that stupidity has to offer, and then humanity has a way of surprising you once again.

[DustyBubbles]

The dudes that go to burning man just to see naked chicks and don't leave their fratty mentalities at home. There's a bit more sexism out there than I wish there was. I'm just a tad tired of the motorboating brigades or the stripper poles that are manditory in every camp. Don't get me wrong, everyone should express themselves and I am by no means anti any of that stuff but only if it's a genuine form of expression. I certainly would never go nude on a thursday thru saturday. That's when the "show me your tits" comments come out fullfledged. It's just gross and really uncomfortable but I try not to let it ruin my buzz.

[BBadger]

The dudes that go to burning man just to see naked chicks and don't leave their fratty mentalities at home. There's a bit more sexism out there than I wish there was. I'm just a tad tired of the motorboating brigades or the stripper poles that are manditory in every camp. Don't get me wrong, everyone should express themselves and I am by no means anti any of that stuff but only if it's a genuine form of expression. I certainly would never go nude on a thursday thru saturday. That's when the "show me your tits" comments come out fullfledged. It's just gross and really uncomfortable but I try not to let it ruin my buzz.

Huh... It's the women in our camp that bring the stripper pole. They get dudes from the street to put on a show for a drink.

[Zhust]

I certainly would never go nude on a thursday thru saturday. That's when the "show me your tits" comments come out fullfledged. It's just gross and really uncomfortable but I try not to let it ruin my buzz.

My adaptation is (if I can't find a virgin willing to let me try and follow them around) to flee outward. I head to the streets with the higher letters later in the week. I had the best time meeting some people from Fallon, NV a couple years ago. And then there's the guy with too much steak at the edge of the world — I think I had about a pound one night.

I'm just there to build it and to meet the other people who build it. I also quite enjoy the people who are impressed or gracious or revering or curious or excited or awestruck or glowing (or the other glowing) or just happy. I avoid the opposites of all those.

[CrispyDave]

I just wish to announce that I will be running for this title in 2012.
Top ASSHAT.
It is my intention to start the MOOP Nazi Brigade in 2012. Bullhorns. Shame. Sirens. Identification. Persecution. If you are an offender - We Will Find You....
We will make the comments you want to make when they see that dumbass with the feathered boa - Over a PA system.

I love BRC.
I love the Playa more.

I would like to join that brigade. I would fit in....
I have a siren you can record a voice into : maybe something like MOOP-MOOP-MOOP at 95db at 6 in the morning would do the trick....

Anyways I am actually easygoing and would probably just pick up the garbage and go my way in peace...

[CrispyDave]

Edit the duplicate post..