Playa Love

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JezebelinHell
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Playa Love

Post by JezebelinHell » Tue Sep 07, 2004 1:37 pm

I never thought it would happen to me, but goddammit, I fell in love so fucking hard on the playa this year. Playa Love sucks, by the way. You meet a girl, you spend a few days together (but that's playa time, so it feels like a few years), you get happy and goofy and ridiculously attached, and then on sunday they drive off to the other side of the country.

Every other year I've only had to deal with Playa Lust, which is fun and attachment free. This year I spent most of sunday so sad that my girl was gone, that I missed out on a lot of things I should have been out enjoying. Avoid playa-love at all costs! It hurts so fucking bad.
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:07 pm

Ouch.

Keep in mind that we love you, on playa or off, this year or next.

And we'll remember that that's not what you want right now.


Truly, one of the glories of being human is the stupid stuff we do when we know better.

Tgggr17
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Post by Tgggr17 » Thu Sep 09, 2004 12:31 am

"Truly, one of the glories of being human is the stupid stuff we do when we know better."


Thank you for that quote. I'm trying so very hard to believe that right now. :)

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Jordan 10-E
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Post by Jordan 10-E » Thu Sep 09, 2004 9:41 am

I have been in that postion before at Burning Man. I understand the intesity of your feelings. I have been known to say to my friends that it's just my luck that when I finally meet someone I REALLY like they end up living hundreds of miles away. Argh. Sometimes I feel cursed. I don't know what the greater significance or meaning of that is, but it can kinda suck. Here you experienced something so great and then it seems to be gone. I am glad you found something so good though. Just try to stay in touch as you can.

I found neither love nor lust this year, though I wish I had. Definately a change from years past for me. I did talk with one girl that looked almost exactly like the girl I met last year, who I still talk with. At first I just stood there and did about 10 double takes to make sure it wasn't actually her (because I knew she wasn't going to make it this year). Anyway, made me realize that maybe I had already found a special someone, even though they weren't at the event. Who knows?

Hope you find peace in your heartache.
10E

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amazon
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It happened to me too...it does hurt bad...

Post by amazon » Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:17 am

It happened to me too.
I was "busy" all week with many fun people, but one person stood out and I couldnt get enough of.

I 'forgot' all about my man at home (who I have now dumped for other reasons)..but Man!...here I am back in Canada wishing I was with him...on that plane...back to South Africa. Hes in the air right now.
Alas the chances of us ever seeing each other again are slim since this may of been my last burn for a long time and his too. Sigh.

He was camped with some ex-pinkys peeps near the lost lust lounge in the 9:00 plaza but I dont even know his last name. (sniff)

Oh Vadim, where art thou? If anyone knows...send him to me! or send me 5http! (so sad...no serotonin left...need Vadims warm sexy arms around me...)

help help sniffle sniffle...can never find a man like that here...such a tragedy...

Amazon
<I>"...You disturb me to ze point of insanity. Zere. I am insane now." </I>

- Dieter of Sprockets (SNL)

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stuart
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Post by stuart » Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:04 am

send me 5http!
go for the tryptophan. It's much better.
call me baby

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ryanicus
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To the girl I met Friday night a Club Lush, by the fountain.

Post by ryanicus » Thu Sep 09, 2004 12:27 pm

THIS DAGGER IS MINE
To the woman with gentle eyes,
and warm countenance,
when it comes to your charms
I will not hesitate
and I will not blame you.
When I walked back from the far reaches of your realms,
winding my way through dusty foreign roads alone,
as the desert sands waved and waned,
wiping off all its crust on my surface,
as the dead return to their graves,
and the living rise to chase the sun,
I won't blame you,
Instead I will remember the sunrise.
I will remember the long embrace.
I will remember the kisses.
Our lips ripe with passion,
and how you gave me everything you had
and how I offered you all that I had left.
I will remember the feel of you.
The subtle rhythm of your body.
The floating symphony of your laughter.
Your bike
Your clothes
Your boots
Our sofa
Our solitude
Our bodies spilled together like broken jars,
with tiny flickering filaments sparkling above us.
Your leg my leg
Your arm my arm
Your eyes my eyes
Your smile and your warmth.
You are the first kiss and you are the last kiss.
To the woman with gentle eyes,
and warm countenance,
you have no dagger.
The dagger is mine, and I won't use it.

I never had a chance to give this to you... Thank you for the inspiration...
"What matters most is how well you walk through fire..."
- Charles Bukowski

yaners
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Like Butter

Post by yaners » Thu Sep 09, 2004 5:08 pm

Oh, it hurts indeed! I fell hard on burn night in a most unexpected way. What was supposed to be low-impact smooching turned in to a rebar tipped arrow flung with all of Cupids might. Since the sunrise on Sunday I have been an endless dribble of poetry on fine parchment. I've daydreamed like a silly little girl, erupted in giggles and soft mumbles to myself on the bus. It's uncontrollable. How can one encounter have so totally destroyed me? I'd like to think it's just longing for the freedom of the playa, but I know that the white hot knot in my chest is the big, fat L.O.V.E. because I mourn for the loss of it. Full on bent over double sobbing. It's rediculous. So, to the sweetie that I can not name, thank you for being absolutely wonderful! You made me feel beautiful, treated me with respect and gave sweet as Lindt truffle kisses and cuddles. If a thousand things were different in my life I'd hunt you down and leash you up. If you ever doubted your charms you're a fool. And to all you love sick dogs, let's howl at that lonely ol' moon tonight, cuz like Fievel says: "...beneath the pale moon light, someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight..."
(Sweet Jesus- when will this sap insanity end??)

bigfathairyape
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Post by bigfathairyape » Thu Sep 09, 2004 5:18 pm

Thank yopu Yaners for that wonderful bit sappiness, for real. I too had a very similar thing happen to me only I am not able to articulate into words quite as well as you did, why does it have to be this way???

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dana
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that strange ache

Post by dana » Thu Sep 09, 2004 5:49 pm

Yikes!! - How many of us were smitten by what was really just a brief encounter that still found a fertile heart and woke an unbelievable aching love.

To Ryanicus - Thanks for the lovely playa poetry.

To Yaners - The thousand things are never different. Hunt you fool! Fight for crazy love, always.

Is this not the best that we have and part of the core of B'Man?

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Badger
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Post by Badger » Thu Sep 09, 2004 9:19 pm

To the two new Ranger guys who connected on the playa.

Probably Platonic love but it doesn't matter a fuck if it went further or beyond that.

These two guys met up and became fast and furious friends.

Inseparable.

Yin and Yang. Two peas in a pod. Lost brothers. Tom and Jerry. Hell, I don't know or care. All I know is that I was giggling to myself every time I saw these two guys being everywhere and doing everything together for the better part of the event.

It was like watching two kittens playing. Don't want to douse on them by calling it 'love' as I'm not sure it was but there seemed to be a real connection and watching them have their fun was entertaining as hell.
Desert dogs drink deep.

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JezebelinHell
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Post by JezebelinHell » Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:01 pm

I feel so much better knowing it wasn't just me. Thanks everyone for chiming in and admitting to feeling things we all know better than to be feeling. Playa-love hurts like a mofo, but it's kinda fun. I forgot what it was like to be in love like that. ...le sigh...
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:36 pm

Im gonna go with the tides of time, I too found my soulmate, follow your heart and the path won't be hazy. Before BM this year, no girl ever knew I existed. ___________________Soul Power- Natas

rubyredalys
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Post by rubyredalys » Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:50 pm

4 days alone, breathing
comfortable with your skin,
alone, i feel half gone.

mine is in my home town, which i left 2 years ago. it makes me wonder why i moved and why i never found anyone like him there.
now i wait to see if he will speak with me again, or if it was only a week to forget for him.

it hurts.
"what you mean there ain't no grits?"

now with more vitamin delish!

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JezebelinHell
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Post by JezebelinHell » Fri Sep 10, 2004 12:39 am

I heard from mine today...she wants me to come visit her. I don't have vactaion time again until March, so I was thinking of going up for my birthday in April. Only problem is, I'm afraid I'll come back even more heartbroken than I already am. Oh well, I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it. Once again: le sigh.
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe

M Joe Boss
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Post by M Joe Boss » Fri Sep 10, 2004 12:57 am

well you guys count your blessings , if you have any chance at all with that person who makes you feel on top of the world, jump at it and beat the piss out of anything that stands in your way.

If you read the thread Jagged texas redneck ............... You'll understand

Kick ass, no names required

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buckethead alien
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Post by buckethead alien » Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:13 am

Someone should start a playa love poll in honor of M Joe Boss. Not me, though I'd vote in the affirmative. (1997 and I still think about Nora all the fucking time.)
Buckethead, Buckethead you are like an Alien
Buckethead, Buckethead your head is like a dish
Buckethead, Buckethead sometimes you wear the Maybelline
Buckethead, Buckethead sometimes you're full of fish

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kikidelosfeliz
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Post by kikidelosfeliz » Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:25 pm

Cupid seems to have been particularly mischevious this year.

I was flying down Earth, wings spread, when I crashed into the most beautiful man I've ever seen holding a banjo. Turns out he played the guitar, and the harmony was so fine. Say it with dead flowers by the Black Rock mail.

Man I wish I was out in an RV somewhere in the desert right now...I'm finding it hard to readjust to my pretty little life.

_____

The wind in my heart
The dust in my hair
- T. Heads

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amazon
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Post by amazon » Fri Sep 10, 2004 8:38 pm

at least you know who and where yours is...thats wonderful. My man wil always be just a memory of wonderful flowing sex and sexy kisses and fun on the playa...just a memory and never more...
<I>"...You disturb me to ze point of insanity. Zere. I am insane now." </I>

- Dieter of Sprockets (SNL)

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redstar
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playa love

Post by redstar » Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:37 pm

Met in 2002, had all the same doubts and wonderings. We live at opposite ends of the earth. But in January next year, he's moving here - finally :)
"Be the change that you want to see in the world." -Ghandi

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wovenone
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P-L-AY-A love

Post by wovenone » Fri Sep 10, 2004 11:57 pm

you know, i've been thinking continuously of the three men i connected with this year. two of their phone numbers are clipped up next to my computer, which i have been addicted to for the last three days as i 'decompress.' but i can't find a good reason to call them - until i know i'm headed their way. they and i made plans to visit and exchanged information. i feel like this could be anything from lightheaded politeness to sincere connection - i am bewildered. but i've been thinking that the beauty out there - not only in the place itself (i mean, god damn) but in such wonderful souls, such solid folks - gives me every reason to feel love and compassion and desire to see again. it feels like the people we are meant to meet on some levels and the distance is all just part of the intricacy of how cool it feels to be alive. i mean, i learned new skills in meeting and reading people, gained confidence with the opposite sex, and through the cool dudes i met on the playa saw new aspects of who i am and what i'm capable of. i really miss those people, like they were my best friends, but some part of me knows that our interaction, our time together, was right on as it was. i don't know, i've met cool people at festivals and gatherings before, and sometimes it seems they normally choose to be 'average' people teased into bringing out their best selves only for the event and crawling back into their shells in the real world so that i ache and wonder where the bright light went from them. i glance at the numbers each time i sit at my computer, one on the orange prank flyer for first camp's burn day bbq and one on a sturdy paper towel, and i find myself wavering towards waiting until i know i'm headed down to san fran or up to seattle so that i have something to say. i wish your hearts peace, you know?

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amazon
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Post by amazon » Sun Sep 12, 2004 1:56 am

at least you can stare at their numbers. theres never a reason to call or not to call...I say do it!!! :)
<I>"...You disturb me to ze point of insanity. Zere. I am insane now." </I>

- Dieter of Sprockets (SNL)

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StonedHeart-BleedingBrain
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Post by StonedHeart-BleedingBrain » Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:24 pm

do it do it do it, time for love, time for lust, the hearts pouding, there's a shiver down your spine, fate is not not ever to late, go with what satisfies, if you don't your soul might cry 8)
"I can see what's haunting me, sleeping shadows of the dark, sin sin witb no remark, sin sin with no remark."- 47PhantomHymns

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JezebelinHell
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Post by JezebelinHell » Sun Sep 12, 2004 9:52 pm

Eh...mine left her cell phone at an RV place in Reno. As soon as I track it down and mail it back to her, I promise I'll call.
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe

Mistress of Mirth
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Post by Mistress of Mirth » Mon Sep 13, 2004 2:56 am

Add me to the list of cupid's fun and games. He had a jester's hat, a flask of good whiskey, silly fun, kisses that took my breath away. Did I mention that he made 'purring' noises....sigh...sap indicator high. After a week of kissing here and there we accidently met the night of the burn. I got to watch him work, and then we had one of those rare, wild burn nights. I thought somehow over the years that I had become a crusty old veteren of the playa....ended up feeling like a giddy hippie chick, wanting to hug everyone as I limped back to my tent after sunrise. Home now, but still keeping my secret warm inside. Purr.

rubyredalys
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Post by rubyredalys » Tue Sep 14, 2004 1:18 am

he wrote me back....no phone # but he lives in my hometown and he posted an open invite to those in our camp anytime we come to the bay to chill at his pad...asked if that was extended to me. waiting...waiting...

worth a southwest flight? hell yes.

i continue to glow until the happiness is blown out.
"what you mean there ain't no grits?"

now with more vitamin delish!

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nostratomas
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Location: LA, baby

Hey Wake-Up!

Post by nostratomas » Tue Sep 14, 2004 2:17 am

Roll with it. It's a package deal and it's works.

I met my Apocalyptic Fire Dancing Playa Hottie thursday afternoon. Miss Ty Fyre & I had an off the hook amazing time together. I fell in Love with her by Saturday nite and asked her to be my Playa wife, right after I saw her do a fire show. She said yes & we were married after the Temple burn Sunday nite.

I had manifested her a week or so earlier. Embrace the shit that feels good.

Tomas Verde-Fuego
(I even took her last name)

By the way I owe you some spankings for not showing up for your bar shifts. Bad little girl.
If you can't ride it, burn it.

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regynalonglank
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at least i know i can still fall, i mean feel

Post by regynalonglank » Tue Sep 14, 2004 2:24 pm

playa love is beautiful, it's being home alone that sucks! i fooled around and fell in love too...and it hurts like hell but at least i know there is someone out there who is compatible, even if they do live as far as physically possible from me and still be in the continental usa. it defined my burn, i will always have this mish mash of feelings about the playa mixed up with my feelings about this amazing man i met, and that is ok.

i hope to see him again, i am totally smitten...no one here can hold a candle to that flame. but i'm rollng with it. i am inspired to be true to my heart this time and not run away from the feelings. maybe we can't choose who we fall in love with but we can certainly choose to run away from them, and pretend that we don't feel how we feel...not this time. i don't care how hard it is, and i don't care how long it takes, i am going to keep on loving, and be alone and try not to be too lonely. maybe it will come back to me, maybe not, but at least i am real dammit.

i wrote a poem about my playa bike...gonna share it with you!

Ode to my Playa Bike

How do I love thee, O rusty rattletrap
Thou seat dost falleth off at the barest touch of ass
Thou handle bars do proudly bear both mirror, bell and basket
Within which hoodwinks dwell and gifts bestowed un-ask-ed

Your milk crate appendage disintegrates in time
Leaving only duct tape and a bit of twine
Riding like a kid again hither abandon yon
Over past the mighty man to the temple's dusty lawn

Creating shadows in the dust
Brakes that shiver
Chains that rust
Steadily you roll me on
Free to greet another dawn

Out and safely home again daily I do go
Joining into the parade of sassy schwanky clothes
On my playa bike I glide, happily I glitter
Watch me flit, watch me fly
Just don't leave no litter!
\v/

/ \

just listen to the drum

Rian Jackson
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Post by Rian Jackson » Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:26 pm

*sigh*
just. sigh.
surlier than thou

rubyredalys
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Post by rubyredalys » Tue Sep 14, 2004 11:52 pm

hahahah i was scheduled for 3 shifts, one of which the bar wasn't even built yet!

yes you can spank me. come to anaheim, you have no excuses...the 22 awaits you!
"what you mean there ain't no grits?"

now with more vitamin delish!

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