Playa Love

Share your pictures and video. Tell us about the sights, sounds, and scents, as well as the rumors and truths found at Burning Man.
Rian Jackson
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Re: Better 2have never?

Post by Rian Jackson » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:05 am

?uestion wrote:Playa Love? I've never been there.

Not after the last 3 years being single at black rock (I'm a 5x burner). I *have* experienced love - with the stranger who became my laughter, with the couple who kept me warm for a night with conversation, even sometimes with myself (finally). And despite anything else I say, I am terribly grateful.

But the Playa Love that's kicked the shit out of all of you. It just hasn't happened.

Funny thing is, I think that burningman is one of the most romantic places there is. Chaos, beauty and wonder all rushing at you so fast you can't breathe. But despite the amazingness, I can't escape the feeling that, at least once, I'd like to go tumbling through dusty deep space with someone in my arms.

Maybe I know what you're thinking...I've tried to manifest my desires. I've tried to release all expectations. I constantly work towards being more generous and vibrant. Ironically, I've never felt more attractive and, back in the narrow confines of the un/real world, I have no problems meeting people romantically.

What gets to me is the fact that this gets to me. I've learned, felt, and experienced so much but I still long to be blindsided by a black rock semi-trailer carrying a fuckload of hearts (with those chrome lady mudflaps as the kicker).

In reading this thread though one thing strikes me. It seems the higher you go, the harder you hit the ground. But being earthbound, I'd rather take my chances with the landing than never get to freefall.
thanks, this is really beautiful, and so true.

now back to my usual 'playa love' comment:
*sigh*

(hey, a girl's gotta keep to herself sometimes, right?)
surlier than thou

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nostratomas
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Post by nostratomas » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:27 am

nostratomas wrote:Playa Love
Playa Lust
all the remains
is our memory
in the Playa Dust
typo
all 'that' remains
If you can't ride it, burn it.

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geekster
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Post by geekster » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:29 am

I am sooo sorry to have to share this ... but for some reason when I just saw the topic "Playa Love" ... the song from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes came to mind.
Pabst Blue Ribbon - The beer that made Gerlach famous.

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Larissa
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Post by Larissa » Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:41 am

I wasn't supposed to find love on the playa, and I didn't even really realise that I may have until I was back at home. So here I am back home, with my live-in boyfriend who didn't join me on the playa, and this amazing new guy that I found on the playa and who just happens to live here in my hometown. I thought we were just new-found friends, but I feel myself starting to fall.

Now I would never just dump my bf on a whim for some crazy new guy I just met. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there's been problems for a while. So ya, big life decisions need to be made in the near future. And some definite restraint will be in order so I don't turn this new possibility into some whirlwind rebound.

*sigh*

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~

Post by sparkletarte » Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:44 am

geekster...you're such a geek.

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Post by M Joe Boss » Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:12 am

hell it has been the toughest decompression I have ever endured. I found playa LOVE that was unfit for off playa consumption. What a roller coaster ride. It was suggested to me that she may have a steady thing going on in the real world that she did not tell me about. I don't really guess it matters.

I am really glad that I am not the only person who is going thruogh this. Not that I want everyone to feel my pain , but it is nice to have company on these little trips.

I'm in a better place in my head now. It was pretty touch and go there for awhile though.

I love everyone here for having the guts to love, even if those guts now feel as if they have been splattered across I-5 and run over by every passing vehicle splashing up the sides and then baking on . OH, I digress.

Seriously though, I hope I can find somebody who will make me feel that way all the time . Tall order , but I think it is possible.

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Post by kikidelosfeliz » Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:15 am

"Guts to love"

I love that Boss. Feel like I'm wearing mine on the outside right now...shiverin in the breeze. But worth every glorious second.
cognitive dissident

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regynalonglank
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Post by regynalonglank » Tue Sep 28, 2004 4:24 pm

ya know, and in the end, at the risk of sounding like a total doof, i think i may have found playa love with the one person who can't bail...me.

i learned so much, i think i may have actually changed, and somehow now i can accept myself for what i am...i'm not afraid of what i could be capable of if i cut loose anymore, i'm not looking for someone to protect me from myself. i am actually excited to be me. and that feels pretty cool.

something shifted, a turnaround where now instead of just all the love pouring out in the direction of the beloved some of it seems to be coming in my direction...wo. now that's different.

maybe now i won't need someone else to tell me i'm a goddess...maybe i'm starting to just feel like one. that would be pretty cool. dang. then what am i going to do!
\v/

/ \

just listen to the drum

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cowboyangel
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Post by cowboyangel » Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:03 pm

regynalonglank wrote:ya know, and in the end, at the risk of sounding like a total doof, i think i may have found playa love with the one person who can't bail...me.

i learned so much, i think i may have actually changed, and somehow now i can accept myself for what i am...i'm not afraid of what i could be capable of if i cut loose anymore, i'm not looking for someone to protect me from myself. i am actually excited to be me. and that feels pretty cool.

something shifted, a turnaround where now instead of just all the love pouring out in the direction of the beloved some of it seems to be coming in my direction...wo. now that's different.

maybe now i won't need someone else to tell me i'm a goddess...maybe i'm starting to just feel like one. that would be pretty cool. dang. then what am i going to do!
Hey regynalonglank, maybe you too would like to be interviewed for my radio doc on spiritual transformations at Burning Man. I live in San Rafael.
Great post!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believe is false."- William Casey, CIA Director 1981

MoisturePup
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Re: P-L-AY-A love

Post by MoisturePup » Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:38 pm

wovenone wrote:you know, i've been thinking continuously of the three men i connected with this year.
I can't stop thinking about the 14 men I had sexual contact with. I think I'm in love with each and every one!

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Post by blyslv » Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:22 pm

"I heard you just then
In truth you gave me two gifts
Trust and Confidence."

eli eli eli
Fight for the fifth freedom!

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regynalonglank
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Post by regynalonglank » Wed Sep 29, 2004 3:11 pm

well cowboy angel, if you think my story could help others (if only by letting them laugh until they pee their pants) then i am happy to tell it.

the biggest change i notice is not needing to posses, to control - even me
\v/

/ \

just listen to the drum

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mowgli
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Post by mowgli » Wed Sep 29, 2004 3:59 pm

I think Playa love is a good lesson for us all. Especially if it cant be continued in babylon. Its good to get hurt and get over it stronger than we were before. Learning not to clig to that single good feeling but rather to float from one to another without attachment. Understand the beauty of those holy moments. Not to possess but rather to experience

Its healthy!! and wonderful

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mowgli
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Post by mowgli » Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:20 pm

Ok So can I tell my simple story from a first year burner?

Cool thanks

So I was out and about Wednesday night kinda high and really happy when iI totally got over myself and any shyness that I had in real life. As my freinds And i walked past the man on our way to 9 from 3 i saw this beautiful youong angel. Rather, i saw her eyes and thats how I saw her. We locked eyes and the gaze spun us both around. It was like a physical force that kept our gaze. We both smiled big and kept going in the opposite direction.

Stupid to keep walking you say? no. The night was on. I started to really feel the magic that night. Later, I walked or rather danced into a club. Wednesday was very warm And all I wore was a skirt and sandals. I cant remember whatthe name of the club was but it was small and had the swirly light board. And thats where she was. Dancing alone in front of the swirly lights. I was grooving hard so when i looked up I didnt really expect to see the most beautiful green eyes I have ever see before. No inhibitions at all ( I felt as if I was being pulled) I walked slowly oer to her, stood close and gently touched her cheek. She smiled, closed her eyes and looked very very beautiful. When She opened her eyes i say, " I've been looking for you all night, where have you been?" She says "I've been waiting right here for you." we kissed. It was pure love. It was a holy moment. Nothing else in the world existed except for the two of us. The most romantic moment of my life and all was good. We hung out and kissed and walked and talked a bit for the rest of the night which wasnt long enough.

I lost her. Ilooked for her the next day and the next but It wasnt meant to be. I dreamnt of her for two weeks. her eyes mainly. The experience was about that moment. The first moment. Not long term comitment. Not sex. Just love, the savoring of and the joy that can arise from a single perfect moment.

I hope I remember that moment when I am old and grey. Thank the goddess that is she. Thanks, lilly what beautiful eyes you have. what a lovely soul. what a perfect moment.

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regynalonglank
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Post by regynalonglank » Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:02 pm

peak moments...

you canna repeat them

and they dinna last

given up on trying

just being me

no need to justify

or legitimatize

with history

it is what it is

and usually that's all it is

but that's ok

cuz in order to feel the fire

sometimes ya gotta get burned

i'm thinking its worth it

at least for now

peace

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cowboyangel
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Post by cowboyangel » Wed Sep 29, 2004 6:26 pm

regynalonglank wrote:well cowboy angel, if you think my story could help others (if only by letting them laugh until they pee their pants) then i am happy to tell it.

the biggest change i notice is not needing to posses, to control - even me
that's a big one....I'll be at the decompression party on the 10th with a mic and minidisc will try to live stream too!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believe is false."- William Casey, CIA Director 1981

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Silver 2
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Post by Silver 2 » Wed Sep 29, 2004 7:05 pm

Not to possess but rather to experience
I like this.

Thank you
I like playing with fire.

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burning tent
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Playa Love, the sweetest taboo

Post by burning tent » Thu Sep 30, 2004 11:28 am

alitomcat wrote:My experience was just the opposite....
My husband choose mid-week to tell me he didn't want to be married anymore....then had the balls to ask me to continue to have a great time with him the rest of the week. (which we did)
Your experience has it's merits-mine does not. I still managed to have an awesome experience at BM dispite my husbands aweful timing.
Sunshine
... wow.
alitomcat wrote:"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away..."
You mean this in the good way, right?
regynalonglank wrote:Ode to my Playa Bike

How do I love thee, O rusty rattletrap
Thou seat dost falleth off at the barest touch of ass
Thou handle bars do proudly bear both mirror, bell and basket
Within which hoodwinks dwell and gifts bestowed un-ask-ed

Your milk crate appendage disintegrates in time
Leaving only duct tape and a bit of twine
Riding like a kid again hither abandon yon
Over past the mighty man to the temple's dusty lawn

Creating shadows in the dust
Brakes that shiver
Chains that rust
Steadily you roll me on
Free to greet another dawn

Out and safely home again daily I do go
Joining into the parade of sassy schwanky clothes
On my playa bike I glide, happily I glitter
Watch me flit, watch me fly
Just don't leave no litter!
LOL! ... I once wrote one called 'Ode to my Neighbor's Dog.'
rubyredalys wrote:why would someone want intrest in a younger gal anyway?
Their young, taut, nubile flesh? I dunno, just guessing.
Alpha wrote:Uh, yeah... those older men NEVER like younger women.
And what he/she said.
wovenone wrote:it makes me nervous. like, what if he doesn't write back? while his info was tacked up beside my computer it was like having money in the bank. now i feel like i've maxed my credit card and there's nothing left to fall back on later.
This is almost too much to think about. I know about these credit/debt feelings. I have felt them, I say.
wovenone wrote:but apparently there's a rumor going around that one regrets what one fails to do more than the times one acts on inspirations.. :?
I seeeeee. So. Always max out your credit cards. Damn, it is so true but that interest can eat you alive. 'Introductory rate' my ass.
e_v wrote:it was the return to the real world that was brutal, once my playa love affair came to an (expected, but nonetheless melancholy) end, and i was forced to finally accept my newly loveless state in a city that had never felt so soulless. *e
Sonovbitch city ... soulless bastards cutting me off without their blinker ... loveless idiots driving slow in the fast lane---CELL PHONES, CELL PHONES, CELL PHONES.

Uh, but to each their own.
e_v wrote: i say do whatever you can to extend playa love into the rest of your life! take risks! do crazy things you would never otherwise do! it it's one lesson that i learned this year, it's holding back what you really feel that ends up hurting you the most! make you're feelings known before it's too late! what've you got to lose compared to what you could gain?
well, they say hindsight is always 20-20...
wishing all of you lovesick lonelies the best of luck!
*e
UHHHHHH-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
?uestion wrote:In reading this thread though one thing strikes me. It seems the higher you go, the harder you hit the ground. But being earthbound, I'd rather take my chances with the landing than never get to freefall.
... ouch.
nostratomas wrote:Playa Love
Playa Lust
all that remains
is our memory
in the Playa Dust
Hey! Kansas has a song like this! ... actually, I guess it's a little different.

No matter!

>Don't hang on,
Nothing last forever but the earth and sky
It slips away,
And all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind<

I think I like yours better, Tomas.
M Joe Boss wrote:hell it has been the toughest decompression I have ever endured. I found playa LOVE that was unfit for off playa consumption.
Reminds me of a story ... as the week wore on and I wasn't eating anything hot, or anything made of meat for that matter, I got a tremendous craving for a cheeseburger. So, the second I could after getting on the road I had some kind of barbecue sandwich at a gas station. It wasn't bad actually. BUT early the next morning when I rolled into town I pulled up to a Carl's Jr. I ordered one of those six-dollar burgers they sell for $3.99, y'know? Scarfed that thing down, went home, unloaded the camping gear and then vomited. End of story.
regynalonglank wrote:maybe now i won't need someone else to tell me i'm a goddess...maybe i'm starting to just feel like one. that would be pretty cool. dang. then what am i going to do!
Just walk straight and tall, like you're balancing a book ... and don't get one of those big goddess heads.
mowgli wrote:I think Playa love is a good lesson for us all. Especially if it cant be continued in babylon. Its good to get hurt and get over it stronger than we were before.
I have constantly wondered about this in the past: is it really worth it? Am I really stronger from the experience or are my walls just that much higher? Maybe I'm too close to the subject to see clearly but I'm not positive I've learned from my experiences. Wait a second, that's bs. It only took asking two women if they were pregnant when they weren't to learn me to just never ask that stupid-ass question.

... perhaps there is hope for me.
mowgli wrote:Learning not to clig to that single good feeling but rather to float from one to another without attachment. Understand the beauty of those holy moments. Not to possess but rather to experience
Hey, with this kind of attitude a person could get popular.
mowgli wrote:Its healthy!! and wonderful
Ohhhh, shuddup. ;~)
mowgli wrote:Not sex.
You lost me after 'not'.
mowgli wrote:Just love, the savoring of and the joy that can arise from a single perfect moment.
Like-like-like that first shower after a week in the desert?
regynalonglank wrote:peace
Peace, indeed.

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mowgli
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Post by mowgli » Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:33 pm

What A thorough response.

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burning tent
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Playa Love

Post by burning tent » Fri Oct 01, 2004 1:19 pm

mowgli wrote:What A thorough response.
Thanks, man. I really tried to put in the effort on that one.

Participation ... good.

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Re: Playa Love

Post by thinkcooper » Fri Oct 01, 2004 1:22 pm

burning tent wrote:
mowgli wrote:What A thorough response.
Thanks, man. I really tried to put in the effort on that one.

Participation ... good.
I'm just bummed you broke character to thank mowgli. :lol:

Very entertaining reply BTW. Good read!

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regynalonglank
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Post by regynalonglank » Fri Oct 01, 2004 1:28 pm

heh...if you saw my hair you would realize that bigger is not really possible when it comes to my head! but i will walk tall and attempt to retain some humility...respect is what the headmaster at the school i work for calls it, realizing that you don't know everything about a person or situation and coming at it as if you have something to discover, to learn...that is respect. i will endeavor to be respectful in my goddess status ;)
\v/

/ \

just listen to the drum

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burning tent
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Playa Love

Post by burning tent » Fri Oct 01, 2004 2:16 pm

thinkcooper wrote:I'm just bummed you broke character to thank mowgli. :lol:
Sonovbitch! This is what politeness gets you. mowgli if I ever meet you I'm immediately poking you in the eye with a dirty stick. Or, if it appears you would give me a proper thrashing, I will simply say nice to make your acquaintance, sir.
thinkcooper wrote:Very entertaining reply BTW. Good read!
Thanks! ---D'OH! I mean, I will not dignify this with a response.
regynalonglank wrote:heh...if you saw my hair you would realize that bigger is not really possible when it comes to my head!
When it comes to head, good is always better than bigger. What?! I read it in Paris Hilton's autobiography.
regynalonglank wrote:but i will walk tall and attempt to retain some humility...respect is what the headmaster at the school i work for calls it
Ye ole plaid skirt knocks 'em dead too.
regynalonglank wrote:realizing that you don't know everything about a person or situation and coming at it as if you have something to discover, to learn...that is respect. i will endeavor to be respectful in my goddess status ;)
... uh, your avatar is hot. I go now.

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mowgli
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Post by mowgli » Fri Oct 01, 2004 2:46 pm

If you marry that dog, I want an invite to the wedding. Freak!!! Oh , and I meen that in the most affectionate way possible.

MandaMoon
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Thanks for the posts 'cause now I know I'm not alone -

Post by MandaMoon » Mon Oct 11, 2004 8:51 pm

Absolute identification with some of the posts on this thread. This was my first year, and it was like BRC cracked my heart open...and my world. Fell in love SO hard with BRC, with myself, and with someone amazing - he was the best playa gift that I could ever have received or given. Sounds cheezy as hell, but whatever happens I'll have memories forever. Love like that is what life is meant for, and I'm glad to be alive. Looking into his eyes was like the universe opening up and all the stars lodging inside me.
Every day now I go into my job or about daily life and smile as I remember running across the playa hand in hand with the wind in our hair and the stars spiraling above and the lasers tracking across the sky.

Does this happen so much because we are all so open there? All the barriers down and our souls as well as our bodies bare to the touch?

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regynalonglank
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Post by regynalonglank » Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:38 am

Dang CowBoyAngel, I didn't make it down to Decompression, and so I missed you and your mike. well shoot. maybe we could do a phone interview! that would be so rock star...

Woof! glad you like me avatar...i'll work on the plaid skirt :) and take it easy on Mowgli, will ya, he's a nice guy already. give 'im a break! down boy, down...that's a good boy.

Yes Manda, we let it all hang out and as it turns out its kinda pretty! love is good, and it must be our natural state, cuz when we all get together and relax a little bit, chill out and sit down for a minute, take the time to appreciate each others creativity and think about what it is we bring to the party is just seems to turn into a big love fest. ain't it grand!

happy update - my playa boy is doing well, and he still loves me, albeit from afar...very afar...and all is good in the land of long lank. i am happy with my playa gift of love and fantasies lived out, impermanence and longing...it's good to be me. ok, sometimes it hurts like hell, but that's just part of the game my friends...ya wanna play with the fire, ya gotta get burned. healing nicely, happy to report, going back in for more!

so hang in there people...it's all good. roll with it...yeah baby...that's right!
\v/

/ \

just listen to the drum

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StonedHeart-BleedingBrain
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Post by StonedHeart-BleedingBrain » Sat Oct 30, 2004 8:14 am

Im 21 and am in love for actually real this time, its the best feeling in the world but at the same time my mind is %^@%&@%. Maybe its to much to much when i was younger in the mind expanding world of psychadelics but I think its just love. It is extremely hard because this is the girl of my dreams, I wished for fate at the man and that night she found me. The thing is is that shes in reno and Im in seattle and she don't get out of HS untill June when I have decided to go live with her and go to school. But since Ive met the most fucked up of ideas pop into my head, the jealous boyfriend (which I have nothing to be from) almost heartbroken because i can't see her but once a month, but at the same time I feel like my life actually has meaning. And the last and the strangest I ve even started to question my sexuality for these reasons, I had been lonely my whole life before i found Tiff, had done a bunch of drugs, started to not like to hunt and kill things, and the biggest reason is my brother is a rapist and that happened when i was 15 I heard something in the basement and ran downstairs and found my brother attacking my best friend sister, and ever since I felt ashamed to talk to girls cause I don't ever want to hurt anybody. I am not attracted to my brothers in any way, so I don't understand why I would even think of being gay, does anybody else ever have this fucked up of thoughts when they aren't you but you dwell on them cause you can't even figure why they came to you. I am pretty sure its because Im young and from a town of 1,000 in eastern wa and then i come to a city where it is out there and dont understand it but I dont want to and I dont want to be a "homiphobe" or be uncomfortable being around it when at places like Black Rock Please Help this 21 year old in love.I need advice because when I m not with Tiff I need not to be depressed and start going off on crazy train. The only thing that I want to think about is Tiff and what we have ahead of us, wouldn't it be nice to live somewhere so far away from babylon that this kind of stuff wouldn't even be in any of our minds. I feel my soul is from the old worlds and this 4th world brings out the true evil, that is why nature didn't take us this time, because we all get to wait for Judgement Day.
"I can see what's haunting me, sleeping shadows of the dark, sin sin witb no remark, sin sin with no remark."- 47PhantomHymns

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Post by StonedHeart-BleedingBrain » Sun Oct 31, 2004 10:23 pm

This soul is a fool, so lovestruck I don't even know what I submitted, anyways disregard it, it makes no sense, shouldn't of put anything off the playa on it, just can't relate to the norm, they have shelter from the storm, ignorance, which I let slip into my post. I talked to a few people about and they said you just have to adapt to everything, and if you don't understand something, well somethings you never understand, and that is what makes every individual an individual. Again, sorry, the feeling the girl gives me is warmth, but when I m alone it's so cold, I need the fire from her soul, in the palace of ice in the frozen wind, alone and waiting for her to be by my side for infinite suns, A new Dawn. Now nothings wrong. If you see the wandering banjo next year, I ll pick yall up, with the one and only desert sage, (bluegrass with soulpower mixed with blues and boom chicca) Take Care of your brain, don't boil the stew man. Peace Live free of War(including daily struggle) all that is matter don't matter, all things off the playa, is fake, negative intake

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tisha2
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Post by tisha2 » Sun Oct 31, 2004 10:57 pm

wow, baby...take it easy.

sounds like playa-love got you good...

you've got some shit to work through (yer bro...). Therapy is not a bad thing. And coming from a late-blooming bi-sexual, you CAN work through the culturally imposed impressions to figure out what's right.

and she's almost out of *HS*??!! Shit! NO MOVING IN 'TILL ABILITY TO HANG IN THE REAL WORLD IS ESTABLISHED, UNDERSTAND??

...as for 'needing' her, or anyone else, to warm yer cold spot...only you can do that, baby. 'til then you're of no use to her or anybody else...or yerself for that matter.

just slow down and gitcher bearings...there's a little voice inside who knows what's up...listen.
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Post by DVD Burner » Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:16 pm

tisha2,

You are a very wise woman.
https://www.facebook.com/NeXTCODER

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