Can't shake the playa love!!!! Help!!!

Moon Dog · Post by **Moon Dog** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:09 am

I went to Burning Man for the first time this year. I met a beautiful kind man and totally fell for him. Ithought I would get over when I returned home. Now it's driving me mad and I can't stop thinking about him. What do I do? He doesn't seem interested and I need a way to cope?

By the way, I'll be a burner for life. It was too amazing!

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:28 am

Well, you could do what I did last year, which is:

1.Send a bunch of emails and posts on the eplaya trying to find this person that you met on the playa, for about an hour.

2. Finally locate them.

3. Agree to pick them up from the airport (because they live 700 miles away), and spend the weekend with them. (Drive to the airport and say out loud, to yourself "I'm picking someone up to spend the weekend with me that I met at BURNINGMAN, for an hour??".

4. Decide that one weekend isn't enough and spend another weekend with them. (falling head over heels in love with this wonderful, magical person).

5. Realize that the normal conventions of dating and relationships don't really apply here, and frankly, you don't care.

6. Try to get away for another weekend to visit this person on their around the world trip, have your car catch on fire, putting your visit on hold, and then have this person decided that he/she can't spend another day without you and come live with you for a month.

7. Finally get away for a weekend and fly down to visit him/her on another portion of his/her journey.

8. Decide to move in together, quit your job and move to San Francisco.

9. Surprise him/her at the Mexico/U.S. border as they walk back into the U.S., hold onto him or her for dear life.

10. Finally move in together and realize that he/she isn't perfect, but that you still feel that same feeling for them as when you met them on the playa that morning, your heart still beats a little faster, that giddy smile still lingers on your face, and you sigh just a little bit in astonishment that you're sharing your life such an incredible individual.

Of course, YMMV...

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:32 am

Oh man Chai Guy,

What movie did you get that one from.

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:44 am

I'm livin' it, every day!

jimbobby · Post by **jimbobby** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:38 am

Go Free Kittens and Chai Guy! Go!

pixiecup · Post by **pixiecup** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:55 am

I'm feeling it, too, even though it's a bit embarrassing to admit. It might be the first unrequited love I've ever felt! (maybe I'm being pessimistic)

I'm also happily married, which makes it a bit more confusing and screwy.

Moon Dog · Post by **Moon Dog** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 2:09 pm

Chai Guy,
Sounds great, but I don't think he is ready as was stated to me, and I am feeling as if I can't speak as freely via email s I did on playa. Worrid about sending him running.

Pixie, I'm sorry to hear that. It's a bummer.

Moon Dog · Post by **Moon Dog** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 2:11 pm

I forgot. What does YMMV mean?

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 2:31 pm

pixiecup wrote:I'm feeling it, too, even though it's a bit embarrassing to admit. It might be the first unrequited love I've ever felt! (maybe I'm being pessimistic)

I'm also happily married, which makes it a bit more confusing and screwy.

I am in the same boat and the waves are crashing.

jimbobby · Post by **jimbobby** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 2:49 pm

look all y'all, especially all y'all that's married and all. Playa crushes happen to all of us. It's rough out there, flirtatiously charged and you are taxing your system quite a bit. You are vulnerable, impressionable, in a highly suggestive state.

with all due respect to chai guy and all the others who have found lasting playa love, give yourself space and time to chill out. If you have a wonderful spouse at home let, your recent playa experiences be an enhancement to your already wonderful relationship.

this too shall pass

pixiecup · Post by **pixiecup** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 7:13 pm

totally right, jimbobby. It HAS enriched my life back here. Still, though...ow. (and the emailing has been fun, too, but still my heart hurts)

redstar · Post by **redstar** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:03 am

chai guy - aaaaawwwwww

Moon Dog · Post by **Moon Dog** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:00 am

well, I'm not married and it was alot more serious there than flirtatiousness. But I agree I need to just chill out. Then if I still feel the same way in a month or so, I'll pursue it. Thanks

dana · Post by **dana** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 7:08 pm

Moon Dog
Why wait?? What's the fear? Think about it - what's the worst scenario that's in the back of your mind telling you to put it off? I've been thinking about this ever since I got off the playa and I had the painful realization that over the years I've risked my life kayaking class 5, skiing and climbing avalanche prone faces, and nearly got the chop a few times, but I've taken way too few risks in the name of love. That shit's gonna stop - now!

dana · Post by **dana** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 7:14 pm

Oh yeah Chai guy -
That was an awesome short rendition. It seriously went that way??? It all sounds just crazy enough to be absolute truth.

Moon Dog · Post by **Moon Dog** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 1:16 am

Alright, I quit taking advice from my "non burningman" sister and trusted myself and BM buds. I called him. He is wonderful sweet and everything he was on playa. I have the opportunity to move near him and we are considering dating. Or at least becoming great friends, if that doesn't work out. Luckily for me I have enough reasons to move without him being the reason. This is good in case things don't work out. Plove is a beautiful thing sometimes. Thanks for all of your words of encouragement. *smile* :D

JezebelinHell · Post by **JezebelinHell** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 11:15 pm

I sooooo understand. I can't shake mine either. Damn the playa love! Dammit all to hell! I email back and forth with mine, and we definitely get along, but I doubt she fell for me as hard as I fell for her. She lives REALLY far away (I'm in Reno, she's in NYC)...so I figured I'd maybe get to see her once or twice a year, and I kinda dealt with that. Then, right after I get back from the playa, my good friend (who programs computers for the stock exchange) offered me a room in his apartment in NYC for $500 a month if I ever felt like moving up there. He lives in the Manhattan Financial District, so my room rent would be less than most people's parking space rent.

I don't know if it's fate, or a coincidence, or a really bad idea even, but I'm giving it serious thought. My one fear is finding out how this girl actually feels about me if I live in the same town as her. Either way though, at least I'd be living in a nice apartment in NYC, instead of here in Reno.

dana · Post by **dana** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 6:53 pm

JezebelinHell wrote: I doubt she fell for me as hard as I fell for her.

I don't know if it's fate, or a coincidence, or a really bad idea even, My one fear is finding out how this girl actually feels about me if I

Why not just ask her?? She either wants your love or not - baring the soul shrinks ego, (the love killer.)

Coincidence? Fate is chosen. Personally I've learned to relish those amazing synchronistic turns of events that make me feel like I'm tied into a larger pattern beyond my limited sight or contrivance. Little gifts the cosmos hands you - who would say no? Alas, fear can squish em into junk.

Moon Dog · Post by **Moon Dog** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 3:57 pm

Are you out of your mind? A rent for $500 anywhere is a great deal. Go Go Go!!! Idf she doesn't work out, you'll probably have more prospects of finding another cool chic in New York, than Reno.

JezebelinHell · Post by **JezebelinHell** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 5:10 am

Yeah, I hear that. Honestly, I know I was just a fling to this girl. I'm not gonna bare my soul to her and make her feel uncomfortable just because my playa-emotions got a little out of control. I can't really move to NY until next year, just due to finances and prior obligations, but my buddy said the room's open any time I want it, so if I want to move when I can afford to, I have a place to stay. I'm thinking about it really seriously. Now I just need to get this girl out of my fucking head.

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 6:23 am

Jez - Go to New York, then come out and visit our little freak community on the far, far end of Long Island. We'll burn some shit for ya.

dana · Post by **dana** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:08 am

Jezebel-
OK, I get it. Nothing worse than feeling like a puppy being taken for a walk. Still it might equalize in time. Who knows - she might end up the frisky puppy jumping around and wetting the floor everytime you come back to see her.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:53 am

Chai Guy and I have a similar story.

We knew about each other from our posts on the old eplaya, (not chai guy silly but my sweetheart but had never really communicated. We learned later that we liked each others posts. We met at the meet and greet and spoke for less then 10 minutes. The next night she brought some of her campmates to our bar, and we spoke even less. But it made the night at the bar on of the best. And afterward, what with the emails, the messages, the postcards, letters and loooong telephone conversations, and then visits. A weekend at my place, one at hers, one at mine, jeez I don't even like flying that much! Then a much longer visit and finally, she's parked outdoors, with all her possesions in a BAT (big asses truck). She walks throught the door and

"Well you're here"

"Yes I am".

Risky? Yeah. Scary? You betcha. But worth all of it. I'm still in awe at her courage and trust.

"I saw you just then
In truth You Gave Me Two Gifts
Trust and Confidence"

haiku from eli eli eli

To be fair however, I've heard that courtesy dictates that one should refrain from proposing marriage until at least three days after you've rolled.

Can't shake the playa love!!!! Help!!!

Can't shake the playa love!!!! Help!!!

playa love

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living and loving over the edge

mad crazy love critters on the playa