How I Got Kicked Out of Burning Man

[cityzen]

How I Got Kicked Out of Burning Man
By Kevin O’Neill
I got kicked out of Burning Man last year. To this day, I can’t quite tell you what offense I committed heinous enough to warrant it. Neither could the law enforcement officers or rangers that escorted me out, for that matter. We were all shrugs, head nods and baffled faces, as we drove through the desert night, kicking up a cloud of dust behind us on the road to Reno.

It all went down the Thursday before the burn. I’d been looking forward all week to my girlfriend arriving to meet me that afternoon. Her birthday was burn day this year and she could only make it in from Chicago for the weekend. I had gotten early entry as a plus one to a veteran ranger friend of mine, who I had driven to my first burn in 2012 with. This year we were all camping together at Ranger Outpost Berlin.

Having rangered 5 times at the Great Lakes Regional Burn, Lakes of Fire, I thought camping with the BRC Rangers would be a good opportunity to learn from the pros, get immersed in the culture, and ready myself for my third trip to the playa, when I would finally be eligible to start training for dirt shifts on the playa. If nothing else, they had a kitchen, I didn’t really use, and a shower, which I was able to use once to rinse off the layers of dust skin I had grown during 2 windstorm greeter shifts. I had to be presentable for my girl. After all, she was flying in from across the country to be with me on her burn day birthday at our favorite place on earth.

My girlfriend flew in from Chicago to Reno Thursday afternoon during my last greeter shift. I called her when I got off. She was at the airport, about to board the Burner Express Bus. We arranged to meet at the shuttle drop off location by 3 and G, a couple blocks down 3 from Berlin, which was next to the keyhole at C. Just about the only thing I was on time for during the burn was arriving at the moment the shuttle dropped her off. It was serendipity, really. While walking back to camp with her stuff, I broke the news to her that our Ranger friend, who brought us to Berlin, was still out and about with her bike. A week before, in Chicago, all three of us were loading up my bike and hers on the Cobra bus to transport them 2,000 miles to the middle of the northern Nevada desert. It was there that my friend agreed to lend her bike to our Ranger buddy for the week until she arrived. There was one explicit condition she had: that the bike be returned to her upon her arrival at camp.

Suffice it to say, when we reached camp the bike was not there. Having had a negative experience where her bike was stolen from her during her first burn the year before, she was disappointed by her new bike’s absence. The bike was still where it had been locked up since the day before, when we rode it to the naked greeter shift, somewhere between Rod’s Road and 5. By the time it did make it back to camp, it was dark, cold, and we were about to evicted from Black Rock City.

I knew my friend had a shift that night, but I didn’t know when. After asking the rangers around the outpost Berlin if they knew the whereabouts of our ranger friend or when he might be expected back, we had no answers.
My girl and I decided to go for a walk in the meantime. She had had her heart set on having a dusk bike ride out to deep playa as soon as she got there, but a stroll around the neighborhood would have to suffice. We met our neighbors at a campsite toward the keyhole at C. They asked how we were, and we told them about my girlfriend’s birthday, how she had just arrived from Chicago earlier that day, and how we were walking around until our friend got back to Berlin with her bike. They encouraged us to seek help with the rangers at Tokyo Outpost, on the other side of the playa, because they might be able to look up his schedule to see if he was working that night and when. They said the Tokyo rangers would be more helpful.

We, instead, returned with this idea to our campsite at Berlin. After mentioning the notion to go Tokyo to ask about our friend’s schedule, the Berliners acted like “anything that Tokyo can do, we can do better.” While my girlfriend inquired about our friend’s schedule and when to expect him back, I passed out in my tent from the exhaustion of 48 hours of no sleep, during which time I was working 12 hours of sandstorm greeter shifts. Sometimes you just gotta go to Robot Heart for the deep playa sunrise set. Sometimes you have to lay down before you collapse. It’s all about balance.

I woke up to the sound of yelling. My girlfriend rushed into my tent, telling me that there was a ranger accusing her of going into tents that weren’t hers. Groggy and disoriented, I staggered out of my tent to be met by a guy in a ranger outfit, accusatory and hostile in nature. With an inflammatory tone, he demanded to know who we were, and what we were doing at the ranger’s camp.

“I’ve been camping here at Berlin for 5 days as a guest of my friend, a Black Rock ranger of 6 years,” I told him. The ranger before me said he didn’t know my friend, and interjected his doubt of what I told him and his suspicion that I was not supposed to be here. I insisted that he leave. He did leave by the by, only to return with more rangers shortly thereafter.
By this time the sun was settling behind the mountains, the temperature had dropped. I grabbed the first shirt with long sleeves I could reach, which happened to be my friend’s Black Rock City Ranger shirt. I had mistaken it for my similar Lakes of Fire Great Lakes Regional Ranger shirt that I had gotten a couple of years before, my 3rd time Rangering there. Now I was wearing a ranger outfit too. Similar in color, texture, and size to the Lakes of Fire Ranger issue, it was an honest mistake grabbing the BRC shirt instead. But it did turn out to be a huge mistake.
When the ranger who confronted us and disturbed me from my dust coma returned with more rangers, he saw my friend’s ranger shirt and said I was impersonating a ranger. He claimed I was there to steal from the tents of rangers.

At this point, we had drawn enough attention asking about my friend’s whereabouts, and getting into a yelling match with an unrangerly ranger, the situation was escalating fast. Rangers were gathering by the minute, surrounding our tents. Ever been surrounded by rangers before? It’s a little threatening. I may have offered to jump kick the unrangerly ranger who started this whole defuckle. I wonder if I can even do that.
They said I was trespassing. Without my friend there to corroborate, all I could do was remind them that I had been here all week, that I had seen such and such at the Berlin Outpost party on Tuesday, circumstantial stuff. Of the few rangers at Berlin friendly enough to talk with me all week I’d been there, none of them were there right then. I got mad. They threatened to call law enforcement. I encouraged them. That turned out to be a mistake too.

When law enforcement got there, my ranger friend had yet to return. The rangers at Berlin proceeded to file paperwork with them to have me evicted. They told me and my girlfriend that I was going to be kicked out, but she was going to be allowed to stay. She said wanted to stay with me, sweet woman. She was filming everything at this point on her camera.
I started yelling that this was unfair, and that I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. I was assaulted briefly by a police officer who slammed into me from behind and restrained me.
They stopped short of handcuffing me.

I was allowed to pack up my tent and belongings under the flashlights of a dozen rangers. Right before the time when the packing began, my friend finally shows up with my girlfriend’s bike in tow.

He was immediately confronted by law enforcement and questioned.
“Who’s bike is that?”, the sheriff asked.
“It’s (Kevin’s girlfriend’s)”, replied my friend.
“Are these your things”, inquired the sheriff, holding up the dust-rubbed Khaki garb I had worn earlier.
“Yes”, says my friend after investigating his shirt.
“It seems Kevin here was going through your tent while you were out”, the law enforcement officer informed my friend. “Would you like to press charges?”
“Kevin is my friend, he has permission to go into my tent whenever he likes.”
The law enforcement officer then asked my girlfriend if she still wanted to press charges for bike theft.
“No,” she said. “The bike has been returned”. Albeit too late.
The situation seemed to deescalate. All conflicts were resolved.
The rangers told us that we could stay in festival but we had to leave Berlin. Gladly.
Not 20 minutes later, my Ranger friend came out with the law enforcement officer and told us that they were just kidding about us getting to stay.
“The paperwork had already been started”, he said. You know how it is with paperwork, am I right?

As it turns out, while the situation outside was being diffused, inside of a trailer at Berlin, the Khaki on duty made the tough decision to evict me and my girlfriend from Burning Man. They feared that if we were allowed to stay at the festival, we may retaliate or seek vengeance. That definitely wasn’t a possibility after the paperwork to remove us had been filed with the state sheriff.
The paperwork that we were given was 2 yellow carbon copies of trespassing notices, from the Nevada State’s Sheriff’s office, signed by the khaki on duty at the time. We were escorted out to the law enforcement camp, at the festival entrance, right next to where I had spent 16 hours greeting 1000s of people with hugs all week long. Now it was time for me to say goodbye. 2 hours later, my girlfriend and I, along with all of our stuff (her bike included), were toted in a white van with no windows through the dark desert toward Reno. I fell asleep. When I woke up, that dream that we all share - of making it out to the playa and having our intentions, hard work, sacrifices, resources, and time [combine] into the culminating experience of everything we each bring and believe to be Burning Man - was gone. I’ve been woke ever since.

I returned to the Lakes of Fire this past June, my 7th regional. I attended ranger training. I’m not sure why exactly I felt compelled, but it had to do with forgiveness and closure. A respected veteran to Lakes and Black Rock was leading the session.

There’s no way he could’ve known what had happened with us last year. The rangers that were there didn’t talk about it, and if you’re reading this, you’re one of a few that I’ve told the story to. Still, this veteran ranger looked me in the eye, standing in a crowd full of attendees, and gave a pretty good speech.

“We’re rangers. We’re not cops. We don’t have any authority over anyone else. We’re here to help”, he told us. “Part of Burning Man is radical participation. Rangering is my art. It’s my contribution to this community.”

We all give back in our own ways. While I wasn’t ready to put on a “Khaki Lives Matter” patch, I did end up taking a shift at the perimeter of our 2016 Lakes of Fire effigy burn. Rangers and FAST had to tackle a disoriented participant, who was running toward the burning wooden monster to prevent him from jumping into the fire. Other than that, it was pretty uneventful.

[Donna Matrix]

Wow! That is some story. I am sorry that this happened to you, but from early on I have steered clear of rangers. I treat them like they are cops. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Read the Stanford study on guards and prisoners. Put on a uniform and you have magic powers. Just saying. You should have stayed with Greeters.

[Token]

So, you forgot to lock the bike up the night before.

Your girlfriend just had to have that bike ride, like there is nothing else to do on the Playa at sundown. (I smell sparkle pony)

Your "Ranger Buddy" somehow didn't inform the crew you were his "main sweat" for the five prior days.



The outcome seems pretty reasonable for a Playa adventure.

[FlyingMonkey]

Sounds like a whole lot of testosterone & poor communication on both sides. But I am only going off what you wrote. I wasn't there. And yes, I think they were way too aggressive & didn't listen to you. But like I said, I wasn't there.

I do think you had a least 1 or 2 opportunities to deescalate the situation & just leave. That would have saved your Burn.

Sorry it happened to you.

[C.f.M.]

I hope you made a formal complaint to the BMORG and the Ranger council.

Unfortunately Rangers are people, too. As with any population segment, there will be good and bad. In my experience (both as a Ranger and a participant) some of them build their entire identity around it, and take things WAY too seriously/beyond the scope of their actual reach. The rest of us are OK, I guess.

What prompted you to make this post?

[sparkliestponyEVER]

So, you forgot to lock the bike up the night before.

Your girlfriend just had to have that bike ride, like there is nothing else to do on the Playa at sundown. (I smell sparkle pony)

Your "Ranger Buddy" somehow didn't inform the crew you were his "main sweat" for the five prior days.



The outcome seems pretty reasonable for a Playa adventure.

Hi, Token. Girlfriend, here. Ya know, from the story you read. I just need to make one quick correction to your assumption. The only sparkle pony in this story is the ranger who I so willingly obliged to when he asked me to borrow my bike for the few days that I wasn't going to be at the Burn. (For whatever reason, he could not acquire his own bike for playa use.) Being that I was only going to the Burn Thursday to Sunday (since I could not get that many days off from work), he asked me if he could use it Sunday to Wednesday. Since I wanted to help a Ranger out who also happened to be my boyfriend's friend (even though I BARELY knew him) of course I happily obliged. BIG mistake. Another big mistake of mine? Camping with the Rangers.

SO, if asking the person borrowing my bike (that cost me $100 to purchase and an additional $100 to ship to the playa) to return it to me upon my arrival to the playa so that I may use it to travel around a city of 65,000 people during 35-60 degree weather on my birthday weekend makes me a sparkle pony, then just call me PRISM, the shiniest of all sparkle ponies on the playa!!!!!!!!!

[Token]

Love the spirit Sparkle, smashing good.

Nah, the technicalities of the lending, lack of respect and whatnot is not what takes me there.

It's the way your man describes the importance of the bike ride, disappointment and really a significant effort to find his ranger friend, for a bike.

Just all seems over the top, especially at BM with Playa time and general flakiness "oh look shiny" atmosphere.

Being or not being a sparkle pony, eh, no big deal, but the narrative sure does suggest it.

Now those "48 hours with no sleep", there might be something in there as well.

Hope you guys are not on some No Playa list.

[AntiM]

We have rangers who camp with us, and I think they like being able to drop the ranger face for a while and decompress. The atmosphere at the outposts seems like it could be overwhelming.

[FIGJAM]

Sounds like he should have used his ranger training on the rangers that were confronting him!!!

[FlyingMonkey]

Sounds like he should have used his ranger training on the rangers that were confronting him!!!

Reverse-reverse psychology?

[Captain Goddammit]

Everyone should have drank some water!

[FlyingMonkey]

Everyone should have drank some water!

Some basic mediation skills would have gone a long way. Don't they teach that to Rangers? If not they should. Or at least some freaking magic.

[Bless]

I don't know why the girlfriend needed her bike so desperately as soon as she got in. Seems like a case of instant gratification gone wrong.

[Captain Goddammit]

I had a really hard time following exactly WTF was going on in that story at all.

[bbraasch]

Maybe upgrade yourself to the DPW camp this year. Learn how to front end the 'feet in the boots' method.

[changoloco]

"She had had her heart set on having a dusk bike ride out to deep playa as soon as she got there"

And there you have it, setting expectations when in Black Rock City, will bite you in the ass.

[Token]

Zen and Sparkle PRISM,

Since I figure you have not been frequenting this board, there is a bit of a culture here, not good, not bad, kind of like Gorgonzola cheese; smells like dirty feet, tastes great, and technically is spoiled - delicacy.

I'm confident allot of folks reading the story are sad you guys got kicked out. We do have empathy, no matter how damaged and abused it may be.

Unfortunately that whole "Gorgonzola" thing, right? We are a snarky bunch.

[FlyingMonkey]

Loves me some gorgonzola!

Snark danger.png

Remember, on ePlaya it's ALWAYS Snark Week.

[maladroit]

I'm not going to judge someone as being a sparkle pony, not knowing one goddamn thing about them other than wanting to ride their own bike around the playa. What the actual fuck. Shipping your bike to the playa and then expecting to ride it is now one of those evil expectations we're not supposed to have?

[Token]

... What the actual fuck. Shipping your bike to the playa and then expecting to ride it is now one of those evil expectations we're not supposed to have?

Fuck Yeah! I'm so good with that kind of evil.

You can despair about your wedged-up panties or you can:

Be happy, you made it to fucking Burning Man!
Strip naked, pick up a ribbon, run like crazy down the streets while taking only left turns on :30 radials!
Take a 6-pack of PBR and smash each can one by one with a mallet.
Get fucking bombed at the corner bar
Throw something dangerous into a lit burn barrel
Pick you fucking nose and hold polite conversation!
Heckle a raver
Heckle a hippie
Heckle a goth

Some much stuff to do to get all wound up.

.


.


.

Or is this one of those deals that guys will never understand, like how big of a bother it is to check the toilet seat is down before planting ones but and falling in?

[Sham]

Token, I don't know what the fuck most of that means, but I like it.
Your post made my otherwise crappy day.

[some seeing eye]

Thank you to the OP for taking the time to write the story from their point of view.

Personally I think it has value to ranger management as a case study in the spirit of continuous improvement, and to ePlaya readers.

ePlaya is not ranger management.

Shit happens on the playa as the back of the ticket says. When there is excess testosterone, there needs to be excess de-escalation.

Altitude sickness starts with irritability and loss of rationality and there is a similar playa condition. After that things go much more seriously wrong. And like altitude, the cure is to get out of that environment.

As for the LEO process of being kicked out, there are certain event chains in the LEO culture and justice system bureaucracy that once they are started they run to completion. It's like stepping on a bear trap. Once it is triggered, it runs to completion. I know I had to trigger that bear trap on a friend. You were lucky this happened in BRC rather than an American city if you read the news.

You might also be thankful you almost did not die as in this case:

(long)

A near-fatal medical incident last year (2015) has sparked renewed tension between Burning Man organizers and local authorities, none of whom can seem to agree on medical protocols for this year's event, which begins Sunday.

Burning Man organizers last week asked Pershing County Sheriff’s Office and Humboldt General Hospital officials to meet and sign an agreement that organizers believe will help to prevent any further medical accidents. The agreement intends to clarify medical personnel's responsibilities and procedures, Burning Man spokesman Jim Graham said.

Humboldt General Hospital officials refused to attend the meeting, which was cancelled, and Pershing County Sheriff Jerry Allen refused to sign the agreement. Allen told the Reno Gazette-Journal that the agreement was a roundabout attempt to prevent him from hiring Humboldt General Hospital paramedics, whom he wishes to hire as special reserve, or temporary, deputies for this year's event.

"We remain unclear as to what protocols those (hospital) medics follow when administering care to patients. We do not have a commitment to standardized ... hand-off of patient care should those (hospital) medics treat a patient," wrote Burning Man executive Harley Dubois in an Aug. 17 email to the Humboldt General Hospital Board of Trustees.

The proposed agreement is the result of years of strife between Burning Man and Humboldt General Hospital, the event's medical provider from 2011 to 2014. The tension came to a head in 2014 after a woman died after falling from an art car and Burning Man severed the $500,000, five-year contract with the Winnemucca-based county hospital a year early.

In 2015, Burning Man organizers hired an out-of-state medical services provider, CrowdRx, to run its on-site hospital and clinics. Organizers were outraged when CrowdRx employees informed them of an incident on Sept. 6, when a Humboldt General Hospital staff member injected a Burning Man patient with ketamine because she was resisting officers, Dubois wrote in the email to the hospital board. Ketamine is a general anesthetic sometimes used for sedation and pain management.

“The participant subsequently went into respiratory failure twice and nearly died. Burning Man’s medical staff saved her life. Ketamine is a dangerous drug, especially when mixed with alcohol, and the participant – a 110-pound female – had been drinking,” Dubois wrote in an email to the Humboldt General Hospital Board of Trustees.

The hospital employee, emergency medical services Capt. Monique Rose, injected the woman with the drug while serving as a special reserve deputy under Pershing County Sheriff’s Office, according to contracts with the Pershing County Sheriff's Office. Rose, who remains employed at the hospital, declined comment on Tuesday.

After Burning Man medical staff made a complaint to Allen, Allen told Rose that she could not serve as a deputy during the remainder of the event pending any investigation. The Pershing County Sheriff's Office still is investigating the incident, Allen said, noting the office recently received further allegations that he cannot discuss publicly.

Humboldt General Hospital CEO Jim Parrish said that the hospital would not comment on the matter.

"Humboldt General Hospital was not a part of the Burning Man event in 2015, and to the extent the Pershing County Sheriff’s Department utilized personnel who may otherwise be employed by HGH, these persons were not working as HGH employees while under the direction and control of the Pershing County Sheriff," Parrish said in an email last week.

Because the patient was in legal custody at the time of the incident, Allen said he believed his deputies were allowed to administer any emergency response they saw fit.

The contracts that Rose and three other Humboldt General Hospital officials signed do not list medical responsibilities. However, Allen said that it was agreed upon verbally that they could medically assist any parties involved in a law enforcement incident.

"That's why they were hired, because they have that special dual training," Allen said.

A month after the incident, Burning Man staff notified the Nevada Department of Health and Human Services, but the department waited eight months before issuing a warning on May 12 to Rose and asked her to take remedial classes to ensure it would never happen again, according to state health department letters obtained by the Reno Gazette-Journal.

Rose's direct supervisor at the time, Jared Oscarson, former deputy chief of emergency medical services at the hospital, also received a warning, according to department letters, though both Rose and Oscarson's letters were rescinded two weeks later. Oscarson, who since has moved to Minnesota, is the son of Nevada Assemblyman James Oscarson, chairman of the Assembly’s Health and Human Services Committee.

Jared Oscarson could not be reached; James Oscarson said that he has no role in Department of Health investigations.

Watch: A Boeing 747 gets transported to the playa for Burning Man [video : 88879500]
"I don’t know how they conduct one of those, but as far as I know that’s all internal," said James Oscarson, who said he had no knowledge of the Burning Man incident.

The rescinding letters apologized to Rose and Oscarson for any inconveniences and stated that the investigation had taken too long due to "difficulty contacting all parties involved."

"Any corrective measures are irrelevant after such a lapse of time," the letter said.

As a result, no "official record" of the warnings has been made because the health department closed the case and rescinded both warnings, according to department Bureau Chief Chad Westom.

Some members of the Humboldt General Hospital and the Pershing County Commission are concerned about the health department's response, or lack thereof.

“I was blindsided. I was shocked,” Board of Trustees member Richard Cook said, noting that Dubois' email was the first he had heard of the Ketamine incident. “I had no knowledge of any of this. There was rumor, but the reality was a lot more troubling than the rumors.”

The news of the incident and the health department's response also incensed Pershing County Commission Chairman Darin Bloyed, who is hoping that the sheriff's office signs an agreement with Burning Man organizers but also is hoping for further investigation into the Ketamine incident. At the very least, he expects that contracts, which he calls "vague at best," will better detail the boundaries of special reserve deputies hired for the event.

"That creates a huge liability for the county, especially if we don’t know about it," Bloyed said. "That could have been really horrible."

Allen said that he intends to create more detailed contracts for this year's event, specifically addressing the deputies' medical responsibilities and privileges.



(As much as we criticize the BMORG - in the spirit of continuous improvement interspersed with copious snark, they have sharp people who stay on top of shit like this, play a big kids game to win in rectifying, and protect us from usually even hearing about it)

[I_CANT_EVEN]

I'm going to play a strong Devil's Advocate here. I naturally am a skeptical person, and this post just reeks of narcissistic, entitled self-denial. There's plenty of hints in the OP's post to show his extreme cognitive dissonance in his culpability in getting thrown out of Burning Man. It's cool, being a victim is all the rage nowadays but I say there's probably another perspective.

"Having rangered 5 times at the Great Lakes Regional Burn, Lakes of Fire"
First warning sign. So you were a lifeguard at the kiddie pool huh?

"I woke up to the sound of yelling. My girlfriend rushed into my tent, telling me that there was a ranger accusing her of going into tents that weren’t hers. Groggy and disoriented, I staggered out of my tent to be met by a guy in a ranger outfit, accusatory and hostile in nature. With an inflammatory tone, he demanded to know who we were, and what we were doing at the ranger’s camp. "
An inflammatory tone? Oh MY HEAVENS!!! Well, 5 year LoF ranger, how did you react?

“I’ve been camping here at Berlin for 5 days as a guest of my friend, a Black Rock ranger of 6 years,” I told him.
Oh, you name dropped! But the real question was, how big was his dick? And do you know Larry?

"The ranger before me said he didn’t know my friend, and interjected his doubt of what I told him and his suspicion that I was not supposed to be here. I insisted that he leave. He did leave by the by, only to return with more rangers shortly thereafter. "
Sounds like a completely appropriate response, if he's suspicious of a couple sketchy looking hippies in they middle of his camp. It's what a participant is supposed to do in a conflict, get some (on-duty) rangers.

"When the ranger who confronted us and disturbed me from my dust coma returned with more rangers, he saw my friend’s ranger shirt and said I was impersonating a ranger. He claimed I was there to steal from the tents of rangers.

At this point, we had drawn enough attention asking about my friend’s whereabouts, and getting into a yelling match with an unrangerly ranger, the situation was escalating fast. "
He's just a participant at this point, and so are you. You're 50% of the problem, and you're a 5 fucking year ranger, and you can't manage to de-escalate either, regardless of how "unrangerly" he is being?

"Rangers were gathering by the minute, surrounding our tents. Ever been surrounded by rangers before? It’s a little threatening."
Is it? Ever seen Rangers threaten or get physical with anyone? Well, fuck...if Rangers surrounding you are threatening then maybe you should bring some people with guns and tasers over?? Maybe you should KICK SOME ASS!!!

"I may have offered to jump kick the unrangerly ranger who started this whole defuckle. I wonder if I can even do that. "
Aww, how cute. Let's nestle your PHYSICAL VIOLENCE THREAT, IN FRONT OF RANGERS in some lovely little I'm 'just a widdle teddy bear' language.
PS - threatening someone is against the law. Write that one down...


"They said I was trespassing. Without my friend there to corroborate, all I could do was remind them that I had been here all week, that I had seen such and such at the Berlin Outpost party on Tuesday, circumstantial stuff. Of the few rangers at Berlin friendly enough to talk with me all week I’d been there, none of them were there right then. I got mad. They threatened to call law enforcement. I encouraged them. That turned out to be a mistake too."
5 years rangering huh? And now you got mad? "FUCK YOU GUYS, GO AHEAD, CALL THE PIGS!!!" Brilliant

"When law enforcement got there, my ranger friend had yet to return. The rangers at Berlin proceeded to file paperwork with them to have me evicted. They told me and my girlfriend that I was going to be kicked out, but she was going to be allowed to stay. She said wanted to stay with me, sweet woman. She was filming everything at this point on her camera.
I started yelling that this was unfair, and that I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. I was assaulted briefly by a police officer who slammed into me from behind and restrained me. "

THIS IS UNFAIR! I'M GOING TO THROW A TANTRUM LIKE A TODDLER...IN FRONT OF LAW ENFORCEMENT!!! I BET THEY'LL FEEL SOWWY FOR ME!!!

Not quite ready to de-escalate, are ya? Well perhaps getting your ass sat down by some LE will finally pipe you down. "Assaulted"? I'd bet good money you were ranting and screaming, the cops were telling you to calm down, and finally got sick of your shit and sat you down with prejudice.

“The paperwork had already been started”, he said. You know how it is with paperwork, am I right?

As it turns out, while the situation outside was being diffused, inside of a trailer at Berlin, the Khaki on duty made the tough decision to evict me and my girlfriend from Burning Man. They feared that if we were allowed to stay at the festival, we may retaliate or seek vengeance. That definitely wasn’t a possibility after the paperwork to remove us had been filed with the state sheriff.
The paperwork that we were given was 2 yellow carbon copies of trespassing notices, from the Nevada State’s Sheriff’s office, signed by the khaki on duty at the time."

Just silly paperwork huh? (Perhaps some LEO types can chime in, but I'm guessing you can't UNFILE a trespass complaint.)
So, in summary, a criminal trespass complaint was filed on you because:
1) You threatened another participant (with numerous witnesses)
2) You escalated at every opportunity
3) Even when the fuzz showed up, you wouldn't settle the fuck down

Props to Khaki, the rangers on duty, and LEO, sounds like it was handled well with limited information.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I suggest some anger management classes.

[Token]

Sorry SSE, your attempt to redirect, valiant as it is, did not work.

The Troll and Sock is strong in this thread.

[tatonka]

[some seeing eye]

Disagree. Hahaha, my post is very seriously considered and deeply composed in its making. Maybe my long post is a separate thread accommodating your wording. Make it as you like.

[Token]

<grin>

[sparr]

“I’ve been camping here at Berlin for 5 days as a guest of my friend, a Black Rock ranger of 6 years,” I told him.
Oh, you name dropped! But the real question was, how big was his dick? And do you know Larry?

Isn't "name dropping" exactly what you're supposed to do in this situation? If someone walked into my camp and told me I wasn't allowed to be there, I'd "name drop" the person who invited me, the camp organizer who invited them, the camp lead who named that person organizer, etc all the way up the "chain of command" so far as placement and right-to-camp-here is concerned.

[lucky420]

I'm not going to judge someone as being a sparkle pony, not knowing one goddamn thing about them other than wanting to ride their own bike around the playa. What the actual fuck. Shipping your bike to the playa and then expecting to ride it is now one of those evil expectations we're not supposed to have?

+100

[PavementBlues]

I'm sad and disappointed to hear of this kind of behavior from the Ranger community, and I'm sorry that this happened to you.

That being said, I'm also a bit confused. Ranger shift leads don't have the authority to kick someone out of the event - extremely few Rangers do, and any eviction requires the shift lead to mobilize two of these qualified Rangers, who investigate the story from all sides and confer to decide whether an alternate solution is possible or whether the person needs to be evicted. This process is in place specifically to prevent the kind of situation that you describe, and both of these Rangers would have talked with you at length and then to each other before evicting you.

That's not to say that you are making this up or something, I'm just left a little puzzled, because what you describe would be a huge breach in protocol. If the process that I described didn't happen, please contact the Ranger management team so that they can get to the bottom of it.