Life. Liberty & The Pursuit of Hapinesss...

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Life. Liberty & The Pursuit of Hapinesss...

Post by julie_c » Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:21 pm

Just getting in after a stress filled day and opened the mailbox to find the 2005 journal there waiting for Larry's opening and was blown away...makes me so sorry I gotta miss BM this year.
Larry, how did you know how I was feeling today? Mailman, how did you know to put that in my box today, how did you know I needed to read that and know the tough decisions I 've had to make in the last couple of weeks were necessary? How did you know? Yes, I HAVE become emcompassed by that THICKET!!
In the last week, I've let go of a job that's been killing me slowly for the last 5 years and today let go of a man that I truely care for but can no longer care for without losing myself in the process, sometimes it hurts like hell, but it is necessary.
My first burn was life changing, I will never have that feeling again, I dont think. It came at a time in my life when I really needed that. I made some great friends at that burn that I absolutly adore and continue to live that feeling with every time we are together.
I carried that 1st"burn" with me for along time, till the next year. Last year (was my 3rd) I felt like it was too much like real life, cliquish, noisy, "default" I didnt belong there. That's how I felt. I wasnt sexy enough, "costumed" enough, cool enough.
So I decided to skip this year, recent circumstances would have prevented me from going any way. I think I'll have my own private burn this year.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say here is that I want that "1st burn" feeling back. I think I grew more in that time (1st burn to 2nd burn) than any other time on my life. And as of today, right now, I'm gonna get that feeling back and retain it till I can get back to Black Rock City.

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Commodore Curt
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Post by Commodore Curt » Fri Jul 22, 2005 7:43 pm

Sounds to be like you could really do with a good burn right about now.

Peace, love and playa dust,


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