WATCH OUT FOR LIVESTOCK AND DEER!!!!

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 11:26 am

...or, if you're a California governor, "DEEUH.."

This story is meant to be troubling.

At 4:18 a.m. on Tuesday last year, as we crossed into the California border, a deer launched herself from the brush-lined ditch next to the road right ahead of me. I slowed and swerved into the oncoming lane, but just as I was about to pass, she jumped right in front again, came up the hood of the van...her head pressed against the windshield in front of me and then she tangled up in the side mirror, her giant, terrified eye against the glass staring straight at me, being dragged up the highway as I screeched to a stop. She broke loose and skidded off the road.

That endless, crushing instant in which the animal and I stared into each other's eyes may never cease to haunt me. I hope it doesn't.

The entire front of our van was fucked. Fluid gushed onto the road, one headlamp was gone, the grill was shattered and a cloud of toxic steam billowed from the ground and under the dented hood.

It is illegal to kill even a mortally-wounded animal, but I will always choose mercy over law. Immediately after the accident, having ensured that my wife was alright, I fished out my old Marine knife and set out for a gruesome, grim task. The deer was nowhere to be seen, but she didn't go far because we found her corpse later as we passed in the tow truck back to Lakeview the next morning. The driver said there had been a rash of accidents because of a radical jump in the local deer population.

Was told that the nearest radiator for a Ford van was in either Bend or Reno but it would be at least a day before it could get there, and at LEAST a week before it could be fixed. "Talk to Ray down at the paint shop. He fixes radiators."

We hobbled the van to the paint shop to discover that Ray was in Reno and wouldn't be back. Also, we could see that the radiator had been pushed into the fan, destroying both. We were stuck in Lakeview for our first Burn! $35/day + fifteen cents a mile to rent an economy car.

By...what, I don't know...dumb luck, angels, miracle, fate, karma...we had stopped the van in front of a junk pile and my wife and I set to removing the radiator to see if it could be welded or something. The painter's apprentice came out, looked at our radiator, looked at the junk pile and there, on the top, gleaming black, was a brand new Ford radiator!

Somebody had ordered it a couple of years ago for a restoration, but it didn't fit so he left it. They sold it to us for $165 cash, and my wife and I mustered all of our Robot Wars/Battlebots damage-control experience, some duct tape and pipe clamps, and installed the radiator.

When the greeter said "Welcome Home" that night, it caught up with us.

Killing another creature on the way to Burning Man is a terrible thing, and not only that but, if we had rolled the van with all of our crap in it, we could have died before anybody had found us. We are lucky to be alive and thankful to have made the burn at all, and didn't complain. We wrote a simple poem for the deer--Goodbye friend. May your spirit return to grace this world where no rifle or wheel can find you-- and placed it in the Temple.

It turns out our camp had TWO separate animal collisions last year on the route between Portland to Black Rock City, so I want to warn newer Burners: Take your time, keep your eyes open, stay alert. Bring tools, and travel safe. Please be careful.

-gatt
Zaphod
(I just got a call from my brother who just came off a combat operation in Iraq. I think I need to go for a walk.)

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 11:57 am

if i may add my 2 cents worth...

if an animal (deer, jack rabbits, etc) darts in front of your vehicle... just keep the damn wheel straight, apply the brakes appropriately, do not allow yourself to skid if possible, and hope you don't hit the animal.

Swerving to avoid a moving object/darting animal only works if the said moving object/darting animal can read you mind. Swerving also upsets the vehicle suspension sufficiently to cause the driver to lose control.

in most cases, reducing your speed, maintaining your original path will allow said moving object/darting animal to move out of the way.

DO NOT USE THIS TECHNIQUE WITH CATTLE ON THE OPEN RANGE.
CATTLE WOULD PREFER TO BE A HOOD ORNAMENT THAN STEAKS!

just my 2 cents worth... living here in the middle of whitetail deer territory.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 12:13 pm

Deer are, from what I've heard, overpopulated all over the country right now. We need more hunters--2 or 4 legged. Of course having fewer stupid/careless/heedless drivers would help too.

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:14 pm

We had an owl fly Smack! into the semi's windshield up in Idaho. Slid up into the wind hood and hung there for a few terrible miles. I feel awful, but swerving a big rig is even less of an option than it is in a smaller vehicle.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 2:34 pm

Smart Driver, Deer Avoidance
excerpt.
The following are defensive driving tips to avoid hitting a deer:

Be vigilant in early morning and evening hours, the most active time for deer.

Use your high-beam headlights, which reflect in the deer's eyes, to see the deer better.

Slow down and blow your horn with one long blast to frighten the deer away.

Brake firmly when you notice a deer in or near your path. Do not swerve. It can confuse the deer as to where to run. It can also cause you to lose control and hit a tree or another car.

Be alert and drive with caution when you are moving through a deer crossing zone.

Always wear your seat belt. Most people injured in car/deer crashes were not wearing their seat belt.

Look for other deer after one has crossed the road. Deer seldom run alone.

If your vehicle strikes a deer, do not touch the animal. The frightened animal, in attempting to move, could hurt you or itself. The best procedure is to get your car off the road, if possible, and call the police. When you get home, contact your insurance agent or company representative and report the incident. Collision with an animal is normally covered under the comprehensive portion of your auto insurance policy.

NHTSA Traffic Safety

for some ideas on highway safety.

Nevada Highway Statistics

remember:

the road to Gerlach has soft shoulders
have a co-driver who is awake
be patient, you'll get there soon enough (going to BRC/leaving BRC)

better to be cautious and alive, than foolish and dead, written up on a thread, herein.

believe it or not, we want to see you around here next time.

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:01 pm

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:11 pm

Grille Deer sandwich?

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:19 pm

HA!

Roasted venison ala antifreeze.

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:35 pm

spectabillis wrote:

That's the only kind of deer I like. It's dead.
I've had two wrecks because of deer. The first one just tore up the vehicle. The second one almost killed me and I still suffer to this day because of it.
Again, in my opinion and based on my experiences the only good deer is a dead one.

I feel so strongly about thinning the deer population that I have sponsored hunters and paid for their broadheads and other archery needs so they can take as many out as our conservation department will allow during managed hunts. And I will continue to do so as long as I am alive and am able to do so.

I absolutely hate deer. It's one of the few things in the world that I can apply that word to with every bit of it's meaning behind it....

And the advice given above is damn good. Take heed. I can show you what happens when you don't...but sometimes even if you do follow that advice there's not a damn thing you can do. It jumps in front of you, you're screwed.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:41 pm

A little off topic, but I like this picture

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:42 pm

spectabillis wrote:HA!

Roasted venison ala antifreeze.

Heh. I had to clean gristle, blood and hair off the radiator mount and transmission cooler line just to replace it. This year, the front of the van's gonna look like something out of Close Encounters.

If you hear of any UFO sightings in southeast Oregon the weekend before the Burn, that's just me. "MABEL! GIT MY SHOTGUN! VISITORS!!!!"

-c

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 5:00 pm

Buffalo jerky! Yum!

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 10:53 pm

Last time I was in Yellowstone, Bison took out the front corner of a Chev Blazer.

Bison was sitting in the grass next to the road, grazing away.

solaritea · Post by **solaritea** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 11:17 pm

My first year headed out to BM we missed the final turn off to Gerlach. We ended up at that gas station (a Texaco?) with the whole cafe/bar thing attached at like ten at night asking for directions. The woman at the counter sent us back on our way and very seriously said "WATCH OUT FOR THE COWS!" as we walked out the door. We looked at each other and laughed. "Cows? What are they gonna jump out in front of us?" we said to each other as we walked back to the car.
So we're on the final stretch - no other cars on the road because we didn't get to leave until Tuesday or so. My friend switches the headlights off and on just fooling around as we drive through the blackness. We crest a hill in complete darkness and on the way back down he turns on the lights and there right in front of us is a cow laying down and taking a god damn nap in the middle of the road. He swerves out of the way just in time to miss it.
Hmm, perhaps it was our veganness that saved us. I hadn't thought of that before. Crap, I hope a pig doesn't run in front of me this year. I've been eating a lot of pork tacos lately . . .

Post by **AntiM** » Sat Aug 13, 2005 8:25 am

My friend switches the headlights off and on just fooling around as we drive through the blackness.

In my best scolding mom mode:

I am glad that you, your friend and the cow all survived, but cut that shit out!! I see too many ugly crashes on the road with Larry and he has to deal with enough drivers who don't take the road seriously to be even vaguely amused by stunts like that.

Don't make me stop this bus and come back there!!!!!

(Please, really, I worry)

hunter42 · Post by **hunter42** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 9:00 pm

Last year we had crossed over from Calf on Sunday morning when we saw a big cow that someone had hit. Friends who were a couple hrs. in front of us didn't see it. One week later it was even bigger.

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 9:30 pm

desertswine · Post by **desertswine** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 4:44 am

remember road has one advantage....it's already tenderized.Lothos

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:50 am

Dad and I were coming home from somewhere, many years ago- The Late Polyester Era, circa 1976- When suddenly our Volvo wagon stopped DEAD in the road...We got out, looked around, looked in the ravines, looked in the surrounding woods....Nothing. Like we'd hit an invisible wall. The front end of the 'Vo was mashed in, but we were more puzzled than hurt. After making calls to local farmers the next day, we found out that a black cow had jumped a fence and wandered into the road for us to hit- It was dead on its feet, too stupid to realize that its neck was broken until it had gotten about a quarter-mile down the road.
Every single member of my family has hit deer. My wife and all of her siblings and most of our friends have totalled cars in deer accidents. Her sister's hit THREE.
...But so far, I'm the only person I know that's hit a PEACOCK.

dj big E · Post by **dj big E** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 8:11 pm

Warning for all people that haven't made the trip to black rock before. Once you leave I-80 headed for the event. The main thing you must watch out for is cows. They seem to love to stand or laydown on the road especially at night. Beware of cows trust me. E

Blonde Iguana · Post by **Blonde Iguana** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 6:52 am

Kinetic IV wrote:That's the only kind of deer I like. It's dead.

I know, I just hate deer too. Hideous asshole woodland creatures who selfishly fling themselves to their self-centered deaths on our precious moving vehicles as we speed to our vacations on highways we've built to run directly through their natural habitats.

I have a dream that maybe someday scientists will build a special bomb that only annilihates deer, possums and mosquitoes, but leaves everything else untouched. N. America's great and terrible plague of deer will be dealt with forever, and then all the thousands of hunters can go find new bloodlust hobbies, like sticking firecrackers in cat rectums or pulling the wings off flies; and all the hunting gear and gun vendors can sell their pesky businesses and get stress-free jobs at Lover's Package and Boater's World stores. How I dream of a day that the earth will be cleansed of that lousy scourge of horrible, destructive deer and their vile collective plot to inconvenience us at every turn.

(Watch, I'll hit a deer on the way to Burning Man this year...)

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 8:08 am

venison for the playa!

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 10:42 am

3 years of rehabilitation caused by hitting that deer on top of this past year's other problems gives me the right to feel the way I do. Until you've been through it, you don't know.

I can't change the past, nor will I be responsible for other people's bad decisions. I am responsible for me and how I live my life. So take the putting roads through their habitat crap and put it somewhere else, it will never fly with me. If you draw that argument out you'll be tracing down my family tree and having me pay for damages caused by my ancestors having slaves x number of generations back. That whole line of thinking is flawed.

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:18 pm

In addition to live stock and deer, Trains can also fuck your day.

(yet they seem infinitely more avoidable)

http://ian.kluft.com/blackrock/train-safety.html

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 5:26 pm

Trains, unlike deer, do not jump in front of your vehicle. Trains are on tracks, you pretty much have to go to them.

Thank you George Carlin.

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 5:39 pm

It bears repeating that trains out there are permitted to run 70 mph.

One other note about crossings. If anyone ignores the warnings about taking Jungo Road, be very careful at the crossing that's about 10 miles West of Winnemucca. The trains heading East are partially obscured by the S curves around the foothills, plus it's coming downgrade....and it's on top of you before you know it.

Also that crossing can be deadly for anyone pulling a trailer. I've seen 2 hung up there, one managed to get unstuck without fuss. The other got rammed off by a mining truck who barely got across the crossing himself. It was too damn close for everyone watching and trying to help.

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 4:52 am

Even if the train's engineer can see you, it does not mean he can stop the train in time to avoid creaming you. Takes a mile or two to stop even the lightest train, and they run heavily loaded out there.

And if there are two sets of tracks, expect two trains.

(larry used to shuttle rail crews, he's seen all types of strange train situations, and has heard tons of stories, many gruesome)

Blonde Iguana · Post by **Blonde Iguana** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 5:39 am

Yes, thank you, Kinetic, most of my thinking is probably "flawed", yet somehow I still survive this world. However, I prefer to think of it as simply a different line of thought - just because it's different from yours doesn't make it flawed, it just stems from different personal experience.

Re: roads thru wildlife habitat, I'm not placing blame on any person, place or thing. I'm glad the roads are there so that I can get to Burning Man without having to buy a plane ticket. I'm just suggesting that the people who use those roads (including myself) or live in those homes that encroach on habitat remember that other living organisms on this earth are not out to make our lives miserable, they're just struggling to survive on this rotting little planet, same as us. What is the point of hating them and wishing them all dead, other than to justify the acts we commit on them in the name of sport? To me, it's equivalent to hating all children after one runs in front of your car after a ball and causes you to swerve into a tree and be severely injured.

However, you're right, I have no idea what you have been through, and I'm truly very sorry that you had to endure that kind of experience. My comments arise from the context of my passion for animals and my limited personal experience, which does not include any traumatic deer experiences to date (knock on wood). You absolutely have a right to feel the way you do, and I have a right to feel the way I do in my flawed-thinking kind of way - thank Dog we live in a country where we can express our opinions and feelings freely (so far).

Do you at least like Bunnies? 6:30 and Catharsis.

Blonde Iguana · Post by **Blonde Iguana** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 5:39 am

Yes, thank you, Kinetic, most of my thinking is probably "flawed", yet somehow I still survive this world. However, I prefer to think of it as simply a different line of thought - just because it's different from yours doesn't make it flawed, it just stems from different personal experience.

Re: roads thru wildlife habitat, I'm not placing blame on any person, place or thing. I'm glad the roads are there so that I can get to Burning Man without having to buy a plane ticket. I'm just suggesting that the people who use those roads (including myself) or live in those homes that encroach on habitat remember that other living organisms on this earth are not out to make our lives miserable, they're just struggling to survive on this rotting little planet, same as us. What is the point of hating them and wishing them all dead, other than to justify the acts we commit on them in the name of sport? To me, it's equivalent to hating all children after one runs in front of your car after a ball and causes you to swerve into a tree and be severely injured.

However, you're right, I have no idea what you have been through, and I'm truly very sorry that you had to endure that kind of experience. My comments arise from the context of my passion for animals and my limited personal experience, which does not include any traumatic deer experiences to date (knock on wood). You absolutely have a right to feel the way you do, and I have a right to feel the way I do in my flawed-thinking kind of way - thank Dog we live in a country where we can express our opinions and feelings freely (so far).

Do you at least like Bunnies? 6:30 and Catharsis.

Blonde Iguana · Post by **Blonde Iguana** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 5:40 am

Shit, double-clicked, SORRY!!! It's way too fucking early in the morning.

WATCH OUT FOR LIVESTOCK AND DEER!!!!

WATCH OUT FOR LIVESTOCK AND DEER!!!!

just my 2 cents worth

don't try this at home . . . or anywhere

Big Cow

animals

seriously