Become a fortune teller

brillig · Postby **brillig** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 11:02 am

Well, I'm sure we are not the only ones doing this, so I beg your indulgance...javascript:emoticon(':wink:')

We have several gumball machines. These will be filled with capsules containing a fortune/prophecy/prediction and a little gift. Kinda like fortune cookies,

Please contribute a brief fortune (they will be written on slips of paper 1/2 inch by 3 inches).

KayTwo · Postby **KayTwo** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:25 pm

The people in the camp next to you are talking about you behind your back.

Rocket Bob is the one stealing your dirty underwear.

You will go on a long trip. Coming down will take several weeks.

Your true love will be marching in Critical Tits. It will be a man.

Everyone says you're cool. No one believes it.

You're going to wish you brought more of your medication.

You will be the life of the party when you fall drunkenly into the fire.

Chai Guy · Postby **Chai Guy** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:44 pm

You won a free cup of Coffee! Redeem at Center Camp Cafe.

Your fortune was better last year.

Help, I'm being held captive in this gumball machine!

You're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you.

Postby **AntiM** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:30 am

Don't worry, it's just a rash.

hunter S · Postby **hunter S** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:01 am

YOU WILL MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE THIS WEEK!

AVOID MEETING NEW PEOPLE, ONE WILL BRING DISASTER!

A TERIBLE ACCIDENT WILL BE-FALL YOU WHILE DANCING.

BUY A LOTTRY TICKET! 09/02/06 IS YOUR DAY TO WIN!

A CLOSE RELITIVE WILL RISE FROM THE DEAD!

A GIFT YOU RECIEVE WILL CHANG YOUR LIFE!

A GIFT YOU GIVE WILL SAVE A LIFE!

KayTwo · Postby **KayTwo** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:40 am

Oh, this is fun!

Today: you look fabulous. Tomorrow: not so hot.

A mix-up of lube and sun screen will reveal unintentional results.

You will be unfairly blamed for gas you did not pass.

Carrie's Mom was right: They're all going to laugh at you.

The Feds are watching you and then sending reports to your Mom.

You will find a treasure at the bottom of a PortaPotty tomorrow.

Das Bus · Postby **Das Bus** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:42 am

Whatever you do, don't look behind you.

You left the iron on at home.

You're S.O. is cheating on you with your mother.

You were adopted.

You forgot to lock the front door behind you when you left.

You're shoe is untied.

brillig · Postby **brillig** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:04 pm

(Don't answer that question) :oops:

You guys are great!

(and I see by the multiple edits that KayTwo is either a perfectionist, or just obsessive)

love,

brillig

Chai Guy · Postby **Chai Guy** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:39 pm

Maybe you could color code the messages in such a way so as to be able to figure out which message each person receives from a distance. Then you can make that fortune come true for them on the spot.

Say someone gets a message that reads "You will be caught in an unexpected rain shower" as soon as they read it, you could pour a bucket of water over them.

Well, maybe not that, but you get the idea.

KayTwo · Postby **KayTwo** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 9:57 am

brillig wrote:(and I see by the multiple edits that KayTwo is either a perfectionist, or just obsessive)

A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

the fire elf · Postby **the fire elf** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:58 am

silently turn 90 degrees to your right and jog for 5min

theCryptofishist · Postby **theCryptofishist** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:52 am

Your sence of style moves mountains.

The revolution will be televised.

You will meet a tall stranger in a stetson.

In 24 hours your life will change forever.

This is harder than it looks.

geekster · Postby **geekster** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:53 am

You were expecting something witty

MOOP

This capsule lovingly prepared just for you

INSPECTED BY #37

glue one end of the slip to a half of the capsule. Slip says "DO NOT REMOVE TAG UNDER PENALTY OF LAW"

Of all the people reading these, we like you the best

There is something disgusting dangling from your nose

This coupon good for one free Burning Man event ticket! (give them an old ticket to a past event).

DO NOT EAT

Bearer of this coupon entitled to 1 night's lodging at First Camp

brillig · Postby **brillig** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 10:12 am

Chai Guy wrote:Maybe you could color code the messages in such a way so as to be able to figure out which message each person receives from a distance. Then you can make that fortune come true for them on the spot.

Say someone gets a message that reads "You will be caught in an unexpected rain shower" as soon as they read it, you could pour a bucket of water over them.

Well, maybe not that, but you get the idea.

Well, an unexpected rain shower could be a water gun, and "Someone will offer you an ice cold beer" could come true.

brillig

Desert Duck · Postby **Desert Duck** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:17 pm

"everyone likes you until you make them admit it"

"you will find treasure in the man"

"you forgot to let the cat in"

"you will meet the love of your life, they will already be married"

"whoops!!"

"pants cannon"

"there is warmth and revelry in your future"

"duck"

"bring us a shrubbery"

"hi"

"kilroy was here"

"you will be caught picking your nose"

"it's time for a drink"

"PUT ME DOWN!!!"

"better luck next time"

"you will find a great(tear off end)"

"do not expose to sunlight"

"shake well"

"you will meet a fantastic lover, they will puke in your tent in the morning"

"do not open"

Postby **mdmf007** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:03 pm

IN CASE NOBODY HAS TOLD YOU YET - YOU SMELL BAD

PLEASE DONT TAKE THE FORTUNES FROM THIS GUMBALL MACHINE

THIS PAPER HAS BEEN SOAKED IN LSD - TAKE HALF IF YOUR NEW

FORTUNES FROM A GUMBALL MACHINE - WHODDA THUNK?

THE BIG DUDE IN YOUR CAMP HUMPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND LAST NIGHT

THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD ARE RIGHT

GIVE IN TO THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD

THE GIRL YOU HAD SEX WITH LAST NIGHT IS PREGNANT NOW, AND KNOWS WHO YOU ARE.....................DUMBASS

YOU GOT PREGNANT LAST NIGHT......................SLUT

READ THE OTHER SIDE FOR YOUR FORTUNE (PRINTED ON BOTH SIDES)

THE BLM IS RAIDING YOUR CAMP RIGHT NOW

theCryptofishist · Postby **theCryptofishist** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:29 am

PLEASE DONT TAKE THE FORTUNES FROM THIS GUMBALL MACHINE

genius

Das Bus · Postby **Das Bus** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:27 pm

I see great wealth in your future...oh wait, that's somebody else's future.

There is toliet paper stuck to your shoe.

You will take a trip soon, to a far desert place.

You will meet a thirsty traveller.

Today will be sunny and hot with a low chance of precipitation.

You are up for a promotion at work, but since you're not there,it will go to somebody else.

Chai Guy · Postby **Chai Guy** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:41 pm

taken from a sign at the entrance a few years back:

"Your boss called, he said you're fired, I hope that's ok."

hunter S · Postby **hunter S** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:58 pm

You will meet with doom in a Port potty! avoid them at all costs!

propane is your friend! just don't trust it!

Dust will blow your troubles away!

Postby **AntiM** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:30 am

My last actual fortune:

MAKE TIME FOR A RELAXING VACATION

The CO · Postby **The CO** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:01 am

U R FUCT. 18-21-16-35-07

*You will soon take a trip to the desert.

*You will attend an unusual party.

Confucius had better PR.

I can't believe you ate that.

Don't drink the water.

theCryptofishist · Postby **theCryptofishist** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:13 am

Help, I am being held prisoner in a gumball machine.

Chai Guy · Postby **Chai Guy** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:19 am

Hey Fishy, I already said that one!

How about:

"Were you expecting a gumball?"

"Please recycle this paper"

"Sorry, try again"

theCryptofishist · Postby **theCryptofishist** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:36 am

Sorry.
I only steal from the best.

How about "no event is an island"?

Ugly Dougly · Postby **Ugly Dougly** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:04 pm

This fortune belongs to someone else.

You have a secret admirer.

You will meet a mysterious dark stranger who will steal all your money.

theCryptofishist · Postby **theCryptofishist** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:08 pm

Someone will offer you a drink. Do not accept.

PrincessCharming · Postby **PrincessCharming** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:16 am

Do not pee on the playa!

Open your heart.

Keep ya head up.

Ask someone to dance within this evening and something lovely will happen.

It's now or never.

You will meet the love of your life this week.

Free your ass and your mind will follow.

This is it.

The shoe is on the other foot.

What are you waiting for?

Seek and you shall find.

You must let go of the past.

Let it be.

Get over it.

You must give that which you most need.

You are here.

You will have a humbling experience.

It's not all about you.

Carpe diem.

You will have a life-changing experience.

Play again.

Yes is the answer.

It's up to you.

If you decide to wear undies on your head, make sure they're clean.

No time like the present.

You win!!

Get lost, and find yourself.

Knowing is irrelevant.

Zhust · Postby **Zhust** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:40 am

"You will meet your true love at 3:00 today." [other times, etc.]

"A wise man who has not lived is like a lake with no water."

"The truly wealthy give more than they receive."

"You will discover a new favorite desert today." [sic]

Lorgasm · Postby **Lorgasm** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:10 am

Coupon for free drink at Jiffy Lube

I love you.

Welcome Home!

Its about fucking time you showed up.

Did you fart?

I know what you did Last Summer!!

Are you my friend?

Your life is an adventure.

Become a fortune teller

Become a fortune teller

Why didn't I think of any of these?

Re: Why didn't I think of any of these?

...

fortunes come true

Double entendre

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