Ask Eric

[theCryptofishist]

So, I've rekindled my love of Ak-Maks, which leads me to wonder: What is the best cracker for the playa?

Does it matter if you're not going?

Wait, is this an invitation to give an answer on your thread, or just a rhetorical question?

[theCryptofishist]

Or a trap!

[Eric]

Or a trap!

It's not even a challenge anymore.

[Oldguy]

The Ak-Mak whole wheat crackers have been made for four generations by the Soojians, an Armenian family.

[Eric]

The Ak-Mak whole wheat crackers have been made for four generations by the Soojians, an Armenian family.

Thanks google-guy, that was thrilling.

[Oldguy]

You are very welcome, I am happy to help all burners. Do you ever think your head is too big for your hat?

[Eric]

You are very welcome, I am happy to help all burners. Do you ever think your head is too big for your hat?

Absolutely not - I try on all hats to make sure they can contain all that is the wonderfulness of my ego and wisdom*.




*I also highly recommend reading at least a few pages of this thread to see the kind of answers you can expect in here. It's in Open Discussion for a reason...

[Oldguy]

Dear Eric, Is there a cure for my passive/ aggressive behavior? Sometimes it bites me in the ass, not that there is anything wrong with that.

[MyDearFriend]

Dear Eric,

It's that time of year again! I have more projects left to finish than days left to do them. My question is: which ones do I jettison?

[Eric]

Dear Eric, Is there a cure for my passive/ aggressive behavior? Sometimes it bites me in the ass, not that there is anything wrong with that.

Generally the only cure for a passive/ aggressive personality is to walk away from that person. Since that person is you, however, I would strongly encourage becoming schizophrenic. That way you can change personalities when it hits.

It's that time of year again! I have more projects left to finish than days left to do them. My question is: which ones do I jettison?

First get rid of the kind of boring ones, then get rid of ones that there is no realistic way to finish, then toss the ones you don't actually need for this year. You should now be down to, at tops, three projects, and one of those doesn't actually need to go this year. You're welcome.

[southern crone]

Dear Eric,

Since I didn't get a ticket for this years burn and am eagerly awaiting next years burn, can I start a countdown now or should I wait for this years burn to end?

[tatonka]

Dear Eric
If I opened a store and called it Namaste , what would I sell in there?

[Eric]

Since I didn't get a ticket for this years burn and am eagerly awaiting next years burn, can I start a countdown now or should I wait for this years burn to end?

Start the countdown now, start saving the monies (I would recommend the pre-sale if you can afford it), and get really drunk on Burn Night while joining Camp Envy watching the webcam.

If I opened a store and called it Namaste , what would I sell in there?

Tea that you never have in stock.


Don't worry, I'll wait.

[forty_eight]

Tea that you never have in stock.

If he did have tea in stock - and plenty of it, would it be called "Yamaste"?

[Eric]

If he did have tea in stock - and plenty of it, would it be called "Yamaste"?

Thank you for destroying two different languages. It would be called Simaste.

[Oldguy]

For the love of G_D, I get it finally. You know when people say, " Don't be that guy."; I just realized that "I" am that guy... DOH!

Self-realization is fine, except, when it is "you" they are suggesting is that guy; and you are too fucking dumb and unaware that it is you and not "them".

I sincerely am sorry, if I have been the pot calling the kettle black.

The veil has become lifted. I am whole again. A new star shines bright in the heavens. It's all puppies and lollipops. There is now no war, no poverty, no disease, no freaks of nature, no fire, flood or earthquake. We will all go to heaven and we will live lives of purpose, love, and harmony.

Namaste, Motherfucker.

Edited to say sorry. this is the ask Eric page. It is not the Second page. My other personality has been fucking with me all week.

Dear Eric, will "I" ever "get" IT.

[forty_eight]

lol

I was going for "already" more tea ... but if one has to explain a joke, etc etc.

If they served "enough tea already", could it be called "Yabaste" or maybe "Yabastate"?

(now that is a bastardization of language, but I am a pro-bastard type of guy)

[Eric]

Dear Eric, will "I" ever "get" IT.

Apparently not, if you confuse this for Page Two.

If they served "enough tea already", could it be called "Yabaste" or maybe "Yabastate"?

They would probably look over the rim of their glasses at you, and say the joke has been beaten into the ground. Y'allmusgo.

[lucky420]

Eric,

What the fuck is ugly dougly's avatar? Dried out rasta dreads, ginger root? Just what the fuck is that?

[Eric]

What the fuck is ugly dougly's avatar? Dried out rasta dreads, ginger root? Just what the fuck is that?

It is an ugly floral dress, sayeth my partner The Google.

UG.PNG

[Lonesomebri]

Dear Eric,

I have been welcomed into a nice Theme Camp, even though that is really not my style. I figure to maintain my own nominally independent bastion and fold my camp into the fringe of their camp. People keep posting, wanting to join a camp, and I was wondering the ethics of me subletting out a sliver of my domain (one corner of my tent) to these needy stragglers wanting to belong? Kinda like I do here in SF with renting out my garage closet to the techie scum. The thing is, I very much prefer living with the notion, rather than me "joining", the idea that to me someone is "beholden".

My questions (4):
What if my tent is officially part of another Theme Camp, yet lining the interior of my tent I set up my own inner circle of blue flags?
How many people do I need in my tent to make it an official Theme Camp with placement, early entry, and the ability to avoid the greeters?
How long after first meeting and joining a functioning camp put together by others should one wait to try and take it over?
What would be a good name for a chill camp made up of amazing individual(s), unfairly forced into Center Camp exile?

[Jackass]

Dear Eric,

How long after cutting myself on a sharp object while visiting Camp Threat, will it take to have full blown tetanus or staph infections? Do I go get a shot, or just take some shots? Should I take antibiotics as a preventative measure, if I plan on stopping by there? I already have Anti-B hand wash...

[FossaFerox]

Dear Eric,

Should I sew in the spare set of fairy lights or just leave it as is?

[Eric]

Dear Eric, [etc. etc. etc.]

You're the kind of person who either (a) gets invited to a sit-down formal dinner and brings a dozen extra guests unannounced, or (b) never gets invited to formal sit-down dinners because they assume you would do (a). Humbly grovel apologies to the camp lead who invited you to camp with them, or you may get your dream of a private theme camp this year (blue flags not included).

How long after cutting myself on a sharp object while visiting Camp Threat, will it take to have full blown tetanus or staph infections? Do I go get a shot, or just take some shots? Should I take antibiotics as a preventative measure, if I plan on stopping by there? I already have Anti-B hand wash...

Just keep rubbing in playa dust. It will kill off the staph & the tetanus, and you should only require minor corrective surgery when you get back home.

Should I sew in the spare set of fairy lights or just leave it as is?

There is no "spare", this is only more waiting to be added. Always choose add.

[BoyScoutGirl]

Eric, how does the secret handshake go again?

[jneilvindy]

Dear Eric;

For my evening wear shirtcocker tee should I go with reflective Velcro strips or fairy lights?

The reason for my quandary is with fairy lights the battery pack could prove....problematic.

On a related note, is one tee for the week standard or is it permissible to have a fresh tee daily?

Thank you so much for your insightful wisdom!

[goathead]

Dear Eric

This year I was meet with many "Have a Happy Burn", and was meet by almost as many blank looks when I replied "Fuck your day"

Do we need diapers for burgins?

[Eric]

Oh look, I'm a month behind.

Eric, how does the secret handshake go again?

What proof do I have that you knew it in the first place?

Thank you so much for your insightful wisdom!

Hopefully you were able to muddle through the Burn without it, since I didn't give it in time. The answer, however, is "yes"

This year I was meet with many "Have a Happy Burn", and was meet by almost as many blank looks when I replied "Fuck your day"

Do we need diapers for burgins?

I was thinking de-culting camps, but diapers would work for a start. Big bats that have "reality check" engraved in them would work as well, if you're liable to use them (and I know you are).

[graidawg]

dear Eric can you forgive me for putting down your ginger cordial at the meet n greet and then finding it had been opened and drunk?

[lucky420]

Dear Eric,

What does "smh" mean? Smack my head? So much hate?

Inquiring minds want to know