Confessions.

All things outside of Burning Man.
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Zulegoona
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Post by Zulegoona » Tue Jan 18, 2005 4:27 pm

The bovine gals down on the farm rather enjoy a Bully every now and then.

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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Tue Jan 18, 2005 4:29 pm

Zulegoona wrote:The bovine gals down on the farm rather enjoy a Bully every now and then.
Why is that? They are not really that much better in bed. :shock:
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samtzu
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Post by samtzu » Tue Jan 18, 2005 4:35 pm

DVD Burner wrote:
Zulegoona wrote:The bovine gals down on the farm rather enjoy a Bully every now and then.
Why is that? They are not really that much better in bed. :shock:
They're much better in the field...

... ba dah dump!...
The revolutionary does not grow up because he cannot grow, while the creative individual cannot grow up because he keeps growing ~~ Eric Hoffer

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RingO'Fire
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Post by RingO'Fire » Tue Jan 18, 2005 6:48 pm

I confess that I got totally hammered last night on my birthday and went home with a beautiful woman.

Last night, at my favorite local bar, The Pickle Barrel (a really cool, mellow bar finished inside with lots of wood everywhere, flagstone floors, and hand-carved graffiti on the tables), I got completely trashed. This wasn't my intention when I went out, but it was just the way that things ended up.

First, some background. About eight months or so ago, I was in The Pickle Barrel on a Monday night when I ran into a group of women that I know; they told me that they always go out on Monday nights. They call their get-together "Margarita Mondays." I thought "Note To Self: Hmmm...these cool women come out here every Monday...so then, Monday would probably be a good day for me to go out for a drink at The Pickle Barrel too!" So, I started regularly attending "Margarita Mondays." Usually, these Monday evening drinking sessions consist of 4-7 women and me, sometimes with an ocassional boyfriend or husband, but it's usually just me n' the girlz. I'm definately not a "guy's guy"; I don't give a flying fuck about sports and although I love my bro's, I generally prefer the company of women. Anyway, I collectively call these women, my friends, "The Margarita Monday Girls."

It just so happened that, lucky for me, this year, my birthday fell on Margarita Monday. I got to the bar around 8:00, thinking that I was just going to "have a few drinks with the girls" and then go on home. However, that plan changed when I announced to the girls and the rest of the bar, "Today is my Birthday!" That was just about when the shots started flowing.

My shot of choice? Well now, that would have to be a red-headed slut, naturally. Surely there's no need to explain why.
[FYI, a red-headed slut is a small bar glass full of: 1/3 jaegermiester, 1/3 peach schnapps, and 1/3 cranberry juice - they're really yummy!].

Over the next three hours, I got sluts bought for me, one after the other by the following people: Jenise (one of the Margarita Monday girls), Kat (one of the MM girls - who also flashed her left boobie at me, and then blushed), Andy (one of my bro's), Nick (the bar owner - who actually bought me a Jaeger "depth charge" or whatever the fuck it's called - a shot of Jaeger dropped into a half-glass of beer - and then chugged), Brooke (our waitress and a friend), Jeff (the bartender and a friend - he's kind of a really cheerful, spaced-out hippie stoner who reminds me of Jeff Spicoli in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"), and Michelle (a DJ at the local college radio station, WUTC, who announced my birthday over the air yesterday morning and who also, at our friends' Christmas party said before the party "Yes, I have a tatoo on my lower back, but I can't show it to you now because I have on a dress and I don't have on any underwear." and who later said during the party, after a few drinks, "Hey Steve! You wanna see my tatoo?!" BTW, it was very small and round - and so was the tatoo).

I also bought a shot for myself, when two of the four people at the table next to us told me that it was their birthday too! Naturally, we all had to have a shot together. They didn't know that we shared our birthday with Ben Franklin, James Earl Jones, and Jim Carrey. Later, another social aquaintance, Jennifer, came in to celebrate her birthday too! There were four of us in there, all celebrating our January 17th birthdays!

In between shots, I also drank three Sierra Nevada's.

All this alcohol was consumed in about three hours. I confess, I was one drunk motherfucker!

So, at around 11:00 or so, our group started breaking up. Obviously, I was not going to be driving anywhere. That's when Margaret, who is really cute and who was also pretty buzzed, said "I'll drive you." She didn't say where she was going to drive me to and I didn't ask. About ten minutes later, we ended up at her place.

[Background: Margaret is 33-34 or so, Rubenesque, buxom, smart, pretty, has a Bachelor's in Liberal Arts, and has her own house. She's a really cool woman. I got her phone number about week or so ago, but hadn't called to try and set up a date yet. BTW, Margaret is not the girl I made out with outside the bar after closing Friday night - that was another ocassional Margarita Monday Girl, Missy. I hope these women all don't end up hating me. I told a couple of the MM girls the next night that I had made out with Missy, but that I was never going to call her, and that I really wanted to get back together with my ex-. Last night, I hooked up with their friend Margaret. I swear though, I am not a man-whore].

Well, as you can imagine, once we were inside Margaret's house, one thing led to another, and then that thing led to another, and the clothing started coming off piece by piece, and so on... I remember we knocked most of her refrigerator magnets off while making out in the kitchen.

I confess I think I gave her an orgasm, but I was so fucking drunk I'm not sure. I definately used all my 'skills', but I was so drunk I really don't remember ever noticing, "Ahh, there's one!"

I confess that I was so drunk, that I never 'got off' myself, but it never really frustrated or concerned me.

I confess that I loved waking up in bed next to and cuddling with a beautiful naked woman this morning.

I confess that I was an hour and a half late for work, but I don't give a fuck.

I confess that I fell asleep in the front row of my Probability & Statistics class this afternoon, but I don't give a fuck about that either.

I confess that I never puked last night, and I'm really proud of that.

I confess that I felt like hell most of the day today, but since yesterday was one of the best birthdays I've ever had, it was all worth it!
...but it seemed like such a good idea at the time...

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tisha2
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Post by tisha2 » Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:50 am

i confess that i feel like i don't need to anything risky for about a week after living vicariously though Ring's story...

i conversly confess that Ring's story made me feel the need to get really really trashed and go home with someone i shouldn't...
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helitack
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Post by helitack » Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:54 am

Have anyone in particular in mind?
Actively helping President Trump build the wall

Winning hearts and minds in lovely TexMexistan...

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tisha2
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Post by tisha2 » Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:56 am

not in particular....there's lots of people i "shouldn't"... :twisted: but want to...
ERP ~ Emergency Resource Procurement
"if i can't find it, yer f***ed"
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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:57 am

I confess there is nothing like hangin with Ring when he is on the prowl.
It's just too fuckin funny. Guaranteed good time.
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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:42 am

samtzu wrote:I confess that I despise bullies... no matter what form they take: strong bullies, weak bullies, political bullies, corporate bullies, friendly bullies, family bullies, homeless bullies, law enforcement bullies, artistic bullies, articulate bullies, stupid bullies, etc.

They make me want to beat the crap out of them... but I won't, because that would just prolong and justify their bullying... grrrrrrrrr...
Me too. Get rid of them and we're several steps closer to utopia.


I confess I do know that we never get to utopia.
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Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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bullD
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Post by bullD » Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:00 pm

I confess that I use smilies and enjoy it...

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Kristines
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Post by Kristines » Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:08 pm

I confess I really fucked up last night.

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Post by GuinivereElise » Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:18 pm

^you okay?

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Ranger Genius
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Post by Ranger Genius » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:02 pm

I confess I do know that we never get to utopia.
That's sort of the point: Utopia is actually Eutopia, or "False Place." We can never get there, because it's a lie.
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”

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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:22 pm

I confess I get a kick outta killin stupid shit on this board in my own little way.

(Topics........... in case anyone stupid thinks I'm talking about something otherwise.)
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Ranger Genius
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Post by Ranger Genius » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:24 pm

You mean by making comments so idiotic that no one will deign to dignify them with response?
:twisted: :lol: :D
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”

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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:30 pm

Ranger Genius wrote:You mean by making comments so idiotic that no one will deign to dignify them with response?
:twisted: :lol: :D
um



yes. :lol: :lol:
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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:32 pm

oh man that was funny.

maybe you are a Genius. :lol:
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Ranger Genius
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Post by Ranger Genius » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:33 pm

DVD Burner wrote:
Ranger Genius wrote:You mean by making comments so idiotic that no one will deign to dignify them with response?
:twisted: :lol: :D
um



yes. :lol: :lol:
Well, at least you're honest. I confess I haven't laughed in a while. Days maybe. Who'dathunk: DVD did it.
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”

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Ranger Genius
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Post by Ranger Genius » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:34 pm

oops. I disable smilies by default, and forgot to take it off. There are enough on that page anyway.
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”

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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:37 pm

I confess Genius you have me laughing to tears.
You are one of the few that figured that out. Everyone else gets/got bent outta shape....blah blah blah.... :lol:

Oh man...too funny.

Thanks.
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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:55 pm

I also cofess I miss Dr. LRB. he is not on here as often. :cry:


The other Genius. :wink:
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samtzu
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Post by samtzu » Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:12 pm

Yeah, you two genius' must miss each other... too bad there aren't any others out here...
The revolutionary does not grow up because he cannot grow, while the creative individual cannot grow up because he keeps growing ~~ Eric Hoffer

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DVD Burner
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Post by DVD Burner » Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:40 pm

I confess there are quite a few Geniuses on this board. But I really dig Dr. LRB. he's smooth.
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samtzu
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Post by samtzu » Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:46 pm

He is... I'm rough... ahhhhh... somewhere in the middle... ? Hmmmmmm?
The revolutionary does not grow up because he cannot grow, while the creative individual cannot grow up because he keeps growing ~~ Eric Hoffer

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samtzu
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Post by samtzu » Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:54 pm

I confess that Guinivere Elise has a much nicer ass than I do...

I also confess that Elsie, the Bordon cow has a much nicer ass than I do...

Josh Mostel?


Nevermind....
The revolutionary does not grow up because he cannot grow, while the creative individual cannot grow up because he keeps growing ~~ Eric Hoffer

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:38 am

samtzu wrote: I also confess that Elsie, the Bordon cow has a much nicer ass than I do...
Um Sam, hate to break it to ya, but Elmer disagrees. (By pm so I can't repost.)
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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bullD
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Post by bullD » Thu Jan 20, 2005 9:40 am

I confess, or proclaim, or whatever, that I will NOT use smilies today(only today) even though some of my best friends use them. smile

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:20 am

I confess that I just wise-assed in a questions thread. I confess that if someone were to cleaverly correct me and put me in my place (the fish bowl) I'd probably "take it like a man."
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Post by GuinivereElise » Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:00 am

I confess that I liked your comment, Fishy, and that sometimes, being a wiseass just has to be done!

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Rob the Wop
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Post by Rob the Wop » Fri Jan 21, 2005 8:25 am

I confess that when fishy said "take it like a man", I first thought- 'oh you mean two hours of begging, 30 minutes of not understanding subtle hints that its ok, and then 4 hours of bragging afterwards to the guys?'.

I confess that Evil Rob sometimes uses my brain more than regular Rob.
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