Playa-slaughter?

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:12 pm

Our camp was situated behind the Playa-Q and across the street from You Are that Pig, both of which served pork. So, last night, while drinking and reminiscing, we wondered what would happen at Burning Man if a camp showed up with a live pig, slaughtered it Thursday or Friday and then served the citizens of Black Rock City.

We decided it would be a horrible idea by virtue of the fact that it would cause an unholy amount of bad trips and other random trauma, even by people who might have otherwise enjoyed this year's Playa-Q.

Has anything like it been done?

-c

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:15 pm

I believe that one year "back in the day" there was a camp that had a petting zoo/BBQ.

And I don't think you're idea would cause any more "bad trips" than that fucking PETA video being played on continous loop did. In fact, if you promise to set up next to PETA next year, I'll buy the pig.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:18 pm

I dunno, but you'd have a big moop issue. Granted, I've seen halal slaughters done without much mess in the initial stages, as you drain the blood from the neck into a bucket or tub, but it gets messy when you cut it apart. (Of course, for halal slaughter it wasn't a pig.)

You'd also need considerable practice and skill to do just about any slaughter method humanely. And effectively, for that matter.

I've only seen it done with restrained animals. You need the strength to lift the animal into a tilt, too, so that the blood drains.

They do kick.

Hygiene would also be an issue.

I don't see any reason to soften reality for tripping people, though. I didn't find slaughter easy to watch, necessarily, but I learned a lot watching the animal's eyes. And the desert is not a place I go to be sheltered.

ymmv.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:28 pm

when i witnessed dressing of wild game, i really lost my appetite for tasty animals, although i still eat meat ALOT.

i think the MOOP issue would be the show stopper for me.

however, i would enjoy bringing/sending/eating fresh corn on the cob to the burn... lots of butter and salt. and that would be a MOOP clean-up/Leave No Trace task... and certainly do-able.

man, a nice weekend on the desert is a must.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:35 pm

Another MOOP vote. Before and after slaughter--if you're feeding the pig and keeping it in straw. Plus bones, skin, feces, piss, ears, trotters, blood. Does anyone have a good idea of just how much of an animal is edible? I suppose it also depends on how desparate you are--if your starving leather belts and shoes start to look like food...

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:00 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:I dunno, but you'd have a big moop issue. Granted, I've seen halal slaughters done without much mess in the initial stages, as you drain the blood from the neck into a bucket or tub, but it gets messy when you cut it apart. (Of course, for halal slaughter it wasn't a pig.)

GOAT GRAB!!!!!

OK, now that that's out of my system... >>ahem<<

You could do it, but the moop containment would have to be really, really intensive. You're right - although it's containable, it will take a huge annd tremendous effort to do. Then, what do you do with the entrails and blood and all that - remember, it's gonna get... um... kinda ripe out there.

So... and I know it's not the same, but... what I would do is have the carcass pre-slaughtered and cleaned. You'll still have moop (no way around that) , but not to the extent that you would otherwise. Doing any kind of slaughter processing out there could end up a catastrophe from a LNT standpoint. I wouldn't want to have to moop the camp that did it.

Tho... doing it next to a PETA installation? Maybe the extreme anti-moop measures would be worth it. >>evil grins<<

There's another aspect... Pork spoils pretty easy. (I've always suspected that that was the main reason it was decreed verboten). You really don't want 100 cases of ptomaine on the playa - you think Playa Flu is bad?? Yeech! I'd do a lamb, or maybe even (if you're gutsy and wanna feed a boatload of people) a steer. Or even better - Roasted Whole Oxen. Would *that* be playa fare or what??

bb

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:31 pm

Whole Ox sounds like a really great,,,though impractical idea. I've watched beef made into steaks with an absolute minimum of blood,,,,if you know what you're doing.
We all chipped in and bought a sheep on a felucca trip down the Nile.
Half the people lost their appetite from watching the cleaning and preparation.
I think that that part should be done away from spectators,,,maybe in the PETA camp.
If you could find a butcher who was willing to prep the carcass off-site, you could put up a big spit and turn it all day. It took 5 hrs. for a sheep.
Dan

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:05 pm

It's only impractical until a bunch of crazed burners work on it. It would take a while, but... wow. What a feast!

The sheep are the current-practical idea as they don't take that long.

Then again, you could always roast Frat Boys... I hear they taste like poor quality Pork, tho they have no nutritional value. (The *other* white meat!) Gotta do something with them, after all...

bb

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:28 pm

PETA are great at volunteering. What about "long pig" ?

Someone advertised for a "pool boy" Why not ad for a butcher.

You're correct,,,,BURNERS COULD DO IT!!!
A little nick in the jugular or the cartoid,,,I forget which. Catch the blood. The animal quietly goes down on it's knees. You hoist it up and drain it. Then you carefully slit the belly and cut a ring around the anus.
You remove the entire digestive system like a big bag without harming it's integrity. Some lucky person hauls it straight to the landfil. You're left with skin, bones, meat and a head. They're all pretty easy to deal with.

The above does not apply for "long pig"
Dan

Petalford · Post by **Petalford** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:54 am

I believe that one year "back in the day" there was a camp that had a petting zoo/BBQ.

And I don't think you're idea would cause any more "bad trips" than that fucking PETA video being played on continous loop did. In fact, if you promise to set up next to PETA next year, I'll buy the pig.

I loathed that PETA thing - it was located at the end of our street - we walked around it at night to avoid the disturbing video...

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 11:57 am

The PETA thing didn’t bother me so bad. Though I don’t agree with a lot of their approach, I think it’s important to understand that something gave it’s life for you to eat a hamburger or chicken sandwich. And raising awareness of the deplorable conditions that exist in much of the food supply industry is something that should be done. I’d feel much better if I could raise my own food and be self sufficient. Just not at that point yet.

And as far as the guts go... it's all usable. Suasage, anyone? Pork Haggis? Chitlins?

The bones could be charred and broken into bits for use by the metalworking burners (You can case-harden steel by packing it in the stuff and heat treating it).

Skin could be tanned into rawhide for drum heads and shoe soles.

Many creative ideas floating around. If you’re gonna kill it, seems the only respectful thing to do is use it all.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 12:10 pm

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:Then again, you could always roast Frat Boys...

I'm gettin' a kick out of envisioning the hunting party. Oh, Oh... You could ride along on the decks of LaContessa and use harpoon guns!

Bad kitty... Baaad kitty (smacking self with paw)

nova_mike · Post by **nova_mike** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:01 pm

You people are all sick.

Petalford · Post by **Petalford** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:31 pm

did you read all the posts? - WE are not ALL sick, just a weeeee! bit

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 2:56 pm

[quote="nova_mike"]You people are all sick.[/quote]

He sounds like one REALLY scared frat boy.
ARM THE CONTESSA It's going to be long pig for supper tonight!!

karr · Post by **karr** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:41 pm

Ooooh. We get to play with Frat Boys, Spears and boats. I'm liking the idea.

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:48 pm

nova_mike wrote:You people are all sick.

YOU KNOW IT BABY!

*Z-SNAP*

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 10:28 pm

Ahoy there,,, mi sicko mates!! It looks like we have a quorum and a crew.
Hoist the flag of the Great White Frat. We sail on the morning tide in search of Long Pig.
UUUUHHHH, does anyone know how to gut and clean frat boy?? Could you give us the details?? What parts do you throw to the sharks? Can we E-mail the Polynesians for recipies for long pig??
A weee bit sicko, my ass.
Burners never do anything halfway.
Dan

Driveway · Post by **Driveway** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:18 am

I don't think MOOP would be that big an issue,

Step One: Lay down a couple layers of tarp under wherever the future meat is living.

Step Two: Butcher on top of same.

Step Three: Find some sucker volunteer to truck tarp out of site.

Step Four: Offer volunteer butchered anus.

Step Five: Laugh maniacally.

Step Six: Run like hell.

alienfry · Post by **alienfry** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 11:27 pm

i vote yes.

i'd volunteer to cart a bag of debris home. you could also burn any parts of the animal not eaten.

why yes? well, like someone said earlier, it's important to know where your food comes from. i've seen videos and heard testimonies about slaughterhouses. it seems way gross and awefull. at the same time, i indulge in meat almost everyday.

i remember being a kid in a rural area and every few houses had a pig or a cow or something that they'd raise for a couple years with lots of love and stuff. then the day would come when the butcher'd visit, kill it and haul it to his business to prepare. Sometimes he'd keep 1/2 the meat to sell and give the other half, packed and wrapped, to the houselhold who in turn supplied many neighbors with chops or bacon or whatever.

i think we all had a much higher degree of appreciation for our dinner when we knew we were eating Sammy or Betty or Piggy or Muddy or whatever the animal was named.

it'd be fun to buy an animal destined for the cold, cruel, impersonal slaughter house. SPOIL the hell out of it. give it a fantastic week of good food, petting, playing. then humanely kill and eat it.

ya, this might sound fucked up to most people but i'd feel much better about my meat if i knew it had lived a good and comfortable life before being sacraficed to quell my dinning desires.

neccessity · Post by **neccessity** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:15 am

Chai Guy, just for the comment at the beginning of this thread, and just in case I've never said it before, I love you. In a almost-have-to-get-a-divorce way.

Hawt.

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:27 am

Thanks Neccessity, I appreciate the compliment!

I was tempted to bring one of these out one day:

It's a claw style arcade game in which the "prizes" are live lobsters. If you catch the lobster we cook it and eat it.

I see no reason why we couldn't just take this idea and apply it to barn yard animals. We could have a large claw operated crane and particpants could try to remove their favorite animal from the holding pen to the slaughter pen. Of course, to make it more challening the holding pens would be surrounded by preadator animals and the crane height would be limited so as to not be out of reach to the animals in the surrounding pens.

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:54 am

HA!

I vote for Angry Pit Bull camp, next to Kidsville.

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:27 am

theCryptofishist wrote:Another MOOP vote. .... Does anyone have a good idea of just how much of an animal is edible? I suppose it also depends on how desparate you are...

Also depends on how Southern you are.

I'm impressed with the responses, particularly the MOOP discussion and with people's previous experience.'Course, most of the organic waste could be disposed of in a special burn barrel...its own art...somewhere out toward the trash fence.

Liked the comment about PETA. Reminds me of the tent playing the 9/11 propaganda 24/7 along 3:30.

-c

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:38 am

Doin' a pig would be the ultimate excuse for having Lord Of The Flies camp.....

Magikal · Post by **Magikal** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:49 am

robotland wrote:Doin' a pig would be the ultimate excuse for having Lord Of The Flies camp.....

You know, I was thinking that exact thing.

Twisted... erm, great minds think alike.

As an asides, be advised there is something about pork you need to know. My mom was an old farmgirl, and she knew you could not eat much freshly-slaughtered pork. Something in it will make you sick if you really gorge on it. You have to wait 24 hours after cooking to really chow down.

dj big E · Post by **dj big E** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:37 am

Anyone on here have any pictures from the meat aesthetics people . You know the people that would come out a couple days before the event and put pig heads and other parts on metal steaks for display. Now i have never seen this one personally but i have seen pics heard it smelled awful after a couple of days. Anyways it sounds like a three camp combo you no live pig camp,pigs cooking camp, and rotting pieces parts camp. LOL

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:28 pm

Magikal wrote:
robotland wrote:Doin' a pig would be the ultimate excuse for having Lord Of The Flies camp.....
You know, I was thinking that exact thing. Twisted... erm, great minds think alike.

.

...and, by coincidence, today is William Golding's birthday.

Fraser · Post by **Fraser** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:41 am

If the MOOP is a concern, do the slaughter at home and film it.
Of course you need to do some meeting the meal interviews. Show the pig going for walks, being happy, snuffling the camera, wallowing in it's own poop, etc.
Then the long walk.
And the slaughter.
Get a big screen and run this footage in a loop all week long, then on Saturday or Sunday serve the pig to the public.

Take it a step further and get 4H or FFA to sponsor your camp.
During the showing of the film you could take reservations for the big meal, or even raffle off plates before the event:)

alienfry · Post by **alienfry** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:12 pm

LOVES IT!