need help w/ class on nonconfrontational confrontation

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 6:58 am

hello, subject says it all. I am interested in hosting a class or two at BM2007 on improving the participants skills in approaching other camps with our concerns/problems, in a nonconfrontational manner. The goal would be to allow participants to learn new methods and build their skills in effective ways to approach another camp, lay out their concerns, and hopefully achieve a compromise that is acceptable to both camps.

I envision part lecture/demonstration by the instructors, part roleplaying by the participants (emphasis on the latter). Pretty sure I'll have the space/facilities to do this, and I can be one of the instructors (although this subject is not one of my specialties). Is there anyone out there that can point me in the right direction for source material, and maybe help me find a few interested experienced instructors to assist me?

I have started with the BM2006 Ranger handbook, and am going from there, but any guidance/assistance would be appreciated.

Would people attend this class, if it was say 60-90 minutes in length, in the afternoon, in the shade?

thoughts?

skygod · Post by **skygod** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 9:30 am

Wow.
I can see where you get the idea. With the heat, the drugs, the lack of sleep people get a little testy. I saw a shouting match over generator use that almost came to blows, and a guy in a Hawaiian shirt at center camp actually did hit somebody. There's prolly lots of examples of violent behavior.
But....People that need this training won't go to it, and trained people that try to intervene in arguments might get injured.
I teach crisis intervention, and personal safety techniques are a big part of it.
The Crisis Prevention Institute is where I get my material:
https://www.iancici.org/router.aspx?DocName=NotAMember
But there are lots of similiar orgs.

mojo · Post by **mojo** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 1:15 pm

Great idea - how about setting up a mediation system?

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:24 pm

mojo wrote:Great idea - how about setting up a mediation system?

Thanks for the comment, I appreciate your input.

In keeping with one of Burningman's key ethics (radical self-reliance) I would prefer to focus on helping individuals to increase their own ability to resolve mediation issues without resorting to an outside "authority". Nobody wants a mommy/daddy to be watching over them, especially when at BM. By working to increase the individuals skills and confidence in dealing with difficult situations, this advantage is retained by the individual for use when the "authority" is not available, and in their normal life outside BRC...also, a group that would be available 24/7 would have to be huge (probably about as big as the Rangers are now). By merely offering instruction at discreet times, only a few instructors are required. Much easier to start with (even classes will be difficult to pull off effectively during BM)

...besides, in extreme situations it seems clear that the BRC Rangers are already empowered to act as mediators-of-last-resort...a competing organization is probably not desireable.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 1:32 pm

It's a good idea, but it might need a slight shift in emphasis. I say this because conflict resolution (whether violent or non-violent) is propably not a high priority for most people on the playa for a week or less. Conscious or not, the thought process of many people would be something along the lines of:

"It's only for X number of days, I'll just deal with it."

That path would be perceived as the one of least reistance and thus the easiest to "invest" in.

But maybe an event (maybe even not a class so people don't carry in the baggage associated with "classes") aimed at imparting non-violent conflict resolution strategies.

Anyone ever play Bafa Bafa?

"What happens in BaFa'BaFa'?
After an initial briefing two cultures are created. The Alpha culture is a relationship oriented, high context, strong ingroup outgroup culture. The Beta culture is a highly competitive trading culture. After the participants learn the rules of their culture and begin living it, observers and visitors are exchanged. The resulting stereotyping, misperception and misunderstanding becomes the grist for the debriefing."

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 1:41 pm

The resulting stereotyping, misperception and misunderstanding becomes the grist for the debriefing.

Now that is one of the single most hilarious suggestions I've come across. I'm laughing so hard it hurts! Damn. Unbelievable. Amazing. but that being said I know a specific online place that needs to play this, NOW.

skygod · Post by **skygod** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:45 pm

that sounds like a great game! But to adress crisis intervention:

BRC Rangers are already empowered to act as mediators-of-last-resort...a competing organization is probably not desireable

You said it all. The BRC Rangers are to crisis what center camp is to latte's and ice. Other people can try and set up their own dealios but the Rangers are the backbone when it comes to violence.
Without the Rangers. your only authority in a crisis would be your personal safety techniques.
As far as classes on howto approach another camp, I dunno. It's not art.

Petal of the Playa · Post by **Petal of the Playa** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:06 pm

This topic intrigues me - I am a Certified Non-violent Crisis Prevention Instructor and have been teaching classes off and on for the past two years - I have to say that I can see and understand the reasons the topics is even approached and I disagree, learning how to approach people in a non-threatening way is an art, some people can do it naturally, others have to work a bit harder to master it. There is a lot that plays into how a person is perceived and how their message is interpreted. Kinesics, Proxemics and learning how to rationally detach play a big part as well. I have some good information I would be glad to share with you just pm me.

As for if this is a good idea to have “classes” on he playa – I think you would gather more interest if you could be creative and have fun with it, do a theatrical performance demonstrating how to effectively communicate with your fellow burner that just happens to be really pissing you off…examples of the good and bad – would have been fun for 06, like fear an hope…

Sean · Post by **Sean** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:34 pm

I taught this kind of thing in cadets many a year ago. Mind you no one really wanted to listen to that "pansy crap" so I was mostly teaching myself, so I have no idea if I was any good.

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:26 am

skygod wrote:... But....People that need this training won't go to it, and trained people that try to intervene in arguments might get injured.
I teach crisis intervention,.....

Generally speaking the folk who do teach such intervention will teach folk to stay out of what isn't their business, unless physical safety demands otherwise. In other words, you're generally taught that if you see two people arguing stay out of it and call the police if things look like they really need intervention. And the cops hate to get involved in such things because they are dangerous. Domestic disputes are some of the roughest calls for the police to handle in part because they are intervening in very strong arguments....

Now none of that should be taken to be in opposition to the idea. If you want to teach such a class, go to. But be aware that the pros generally teach that the best way to handle conflict with strangers is to avoid it if at all possible....

Ron

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:41 am

Ron, This class is about walking across the street,. Ask some one to turn there music down.. And not saying " I'm going to kick your ass if you don't knock it off"

If this approach dosen't work get a ranger involved.

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:19 am

[quote="unjonharley"]Ron, This class is about walking across the street,. Ask some one to turn there music down.. And not saying " I'm going to kick your ass if you don't knock it off"....quote]

Of course you're not, and I didn't say otherwise. Starting off with a threat is a great way to avoid conflict, I've always found. ;)

How you can go from "avoid getting in the middle of conflicts that aren't your business," to you put is kind of beyond me....

Ron

skygod · Post by **skygod** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 5:41 pm

The world is a seething cauldron of violence and suffering and sometimes we get to see little bits of it.
-People yelling at each other across the street, one person turning a generator off, another turning it back on.
-Guy in center camp grabbing Aristotle across the counter and bitch slapping him
-A woman getting slapped by her boyfriend and running, crying into the darkness

These are just just the examples I , personally, experienced. How many hundreds, thousands more during BM week? It's honorable to want to adress the issue, but which incidents will you, you yourself, personally get involved in? The people I teach CPI to, get paid to be involved.
I wouldn't mind giving some classes at BM, it could be fun. But I don't want anyone intervening inappropriately and getting beat down on my watch.

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:53 pm

my goal is not to intervene personally, or be a moderator, but to help (at least a few) others improve their own ability to confront situations personally. Radical self reliance at the most personal level. No, I cannot help everyone, but if I help just one person, it will be worth it.

Maybe it is naive, maybe it is misguided. But right now, it is the best I can think of doing to help the situation as I see it (more and more strangers argueing and fighting at BM)

Who else is with me?

Let's create something positive together....rather than just bitch about what should be...

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 8:49 am

Dragonfly Jake said<snip>

You know I'm with you. I don't need to show off m. bad temper. wen there is a easyer way.

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 4:40 pm

my goal is not to intervene personally, or be a moderator, but to help (at least a few) others improve their own ability to confront situations personally. Radical self reliance at the most personal level. No, I cannot help everyone, but if I help just one person, it will be worth it.

Maybe it is naive, maybe it is misguided. But right now, it is the best I can think of doing to help the situation as I see it (more and more strangers argueing and fighting at BM)

Dragonfly,ever consider volunteering for the Rangers. Show up to one of the many volunteer tarinings and let the folks know that doing sound issue engagement is something you specifically would like to do. I can pretty much guarantee you'd be welcomed. You energy alone re. the issue makes me think 1) you'd definitely be an asset to the group and 2) you'd be an asset to Black Rock City.

I'm hoping you'll at least consider the option.

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 5:17 pm

Ranger service...yeah, I've been mulling it over for the last week. I have discussed it with several Rangers I know, and they have been saying the same thing. I have just finished reading "Verbal Judo" (a great book by the way), and am starting on "How to Disagree without being Disagreeable" (so far not so great). Once I get them outlined and a 60 minute presentation/interaction class roughed out, I will probably sign up for Ranger training. It's what I seem to do most of the time I'm on Playa automatically already, and I have alot of khaki....with ibuprofin (and maybe a cane) I think I might even survive a few dirt shifts....or I could put my SAR radio experience to work or use my Art Car (the Tongue) to deliver ice....

I have a few tips/leads on Instructors, but anyone else that wants to help out (especially with some roleplaying demos) will be welcome.

I am also thinking of holding a roundtable discussion on the sound policy, and a special bbs has been setup to discuss specific issues in boring detail with the goal being to hammer out a specific recommendation to the Org in a month or so about recommended clarafications to the existing policy. If anyone is seriously interested, PM me and I'll hook you up (we want both pro-loud and pro-quiet folks in the discussion, so don't be shy)

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 6:14 pm

Dragonfly Jake, you do not have enough time to be a ranger. Your needed on the front line building your kenetic art form. Or be run over by a wild ric-shaw. Or lose the tank race aagain by defualt.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 2:56 pm

Mediation is often valuable just because it is mediation.
Having a non-participant involved allows people to discuss rationally.
The results can seem miraculous.
I resolved two complex longstanding problems once. It went quick.
A monkey could have done it.
But the people involved couldn't.

Right now I need just such a non-involved person, for myself.
I am painfully aware how helpful it can be.
And it's only business. The other person can't remember that.

If loudness complaints are involved, I recommend the ranger training book- Kill or Be Killed!
Oh, not brc rangers.
(graduate-School of the Americas)

There are also some mediation approaches that some may consider dishonest, but are designed to bypass the personal confrontation.
As basic as- I like your_______(fill in name of crappy music or horrifying pastime) but we have an irritable person in camp and we want to keep them from a. annoying you b. burning another camp this year.
If it were up to me, you could turn it up. (Not true, but perhaps calming?)

Tiahaar · Post by **Tiahaar** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:03 am

gyre wrote: As basic as- I like your_______(fill in name of crappy music or horrifying pastime) but we have an irritable person in camp and we want to keep them from a. annoying you b. burning another camp this year.
If it were up to me, you could turn it up. (Not true, but perhaps calming?)

That is genius

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:50 am

I like the Woody Allen approch. JUst throw up on 'em. Asked my kid what would happen if I throw up on a sound board. He said " that would do it"

skygod · Post by **skygod** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:34 am

unjonharley wrote: I throw up

Throwing up should only be used as a last resort, emergency only, or a life-and-death situation.

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:39 am

Bump It's worth it

need help w/ class on nonconfrontational confrontation

need help w/ class on nonconfrontational confrontation

mediation and monkeys-only car keys separate us from them

Re: mediation and monkeys-only car keys separate us from the