Feeling a bit nervous

katiedid · Post by **katiedid** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:57 am

Hello lovely people. I am feeling just a bit nervous about this new experience. I am not sure what I am nervous about exactly, maybe that I won't come prepared enough... I am also going with my new boyfriend. I hope our relationship can withstand it! Any stories out there about going to BM with a new significant other?

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:09 am

Here's three places to start:

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... lationship

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... lationship

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... lationship

(the search function sucks, but it's still there for use)

katiedid · Post by **katiedid** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:18 am

Thanks for that!

I would really like to hear from peeps that went with their sig. other. We've only been together for a couple of months now so I expect BM will be a make it or break it type of thing... He has been before I will be a newbie.

Post by **Savannah** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:24 am

Hi Katiedid,

Welcome. Here's one more from the Burning Man site:

http://www.burningman.com/preparation/e ... ships.html

lucky420 · Post by **lucky420** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:24 pm

Hola and Hello...

jack_k · Post by **jack_k** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:28 pm

Assuming your young relationship makes it all the way until August/September. ;)

moonrise · Post by **moonrise** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:29 pm

Welcome!

(I'll let the gals ^^^^ help you with relationship advice)

Bring a camera, and have a great time!

katiedid · Post by **katiedid** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:33 pm

That is so true! I think we will make it that long...

Thanks all!

I am feeling a little less nervous just with the kind greetings!

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:03 pm

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:30 pm

Katiedid:

CFM and Sav have given you a few good resources.

In addition to these helpful guides, you may want to beef up on your knowledge of the event, survival, and preparedness. In general, you will be more able to handle the inevitable little relationship struggles IF you are ULTRA prepared. Check out the survival guide and read the BM website completely. Sign up for Jack Rabbit Speaks (newsletter).

Biggest piece of advice on top of everything else. Have ALL your gear by July. Pack your car EXACTLY as if you were going to burning man. This will give you the opportunity to see how everything fits together, what you need to cut, and what you need to add. It will also give you an opportunity to learn how to TETRAS THAT SHIT! Now for the REALLY fun part, leave your vehicle TOTALLY PACKED, have a wicked night out with your boyfriend....stay out until dawn, drink WAY too much, smoke cigarettes, dance, scream to the music. Set your alarm for NO MORE THAN 2 HOURS AFTER you roll into bed. When you get up...DO NOT SHOWER, DO NOT TAKE ADVIL, DO NOT EAT. Take yourself, your boyfriend, and your car to a local park or camping spot. Preferable something in direct sun light and windy. Now TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY SET UP YOUR CAMP! Tents, beds, put your coolers where they should go, your clothes where they should go. THEN when you're alllll done, pack it ALL back up and put it in your car. This is how it feels when you first arrive. Kind of hung over, hungry, thirsty, disoriented. This will give you a pretty good idea of how to work together, how to pack your car, how to set up your camp. Sounds a bit extreme, but practice really does make perfect!

jack_k · Post by **jack_k** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:21 pm

Great advice choirgirl!! Sounds absolutely brutal. Have you actually done this?

Reminds me of every weekend that I go snowboarding with my man... we pack up a bunch of snowboard gear, transfer several buses and take the sea bus to North Van, waiting in the cold weather, etc. Then we snowboard, and I'm a beginner... so there's usually tears. Then we haul our stuff back again, usually getting changed out of our snowgear on public transit. Not quite the same, but very testing of a relationship.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:23 pm

Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

JK

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:27 pm

jack_k wrote:Great advice choirgirl!! Sounds absolutely brutal. Have you actually done this?

Reminds me of every weekend that I go snowboarding with my man... we pack up a bunch of snowboard gear, transfer several buses and take the sea bus to North Van, waiting in the cold weather, etc. Then we snowboard, and I'm a beginner... so there's usually tears. Then we haul our stuff back again, usually getting changed out of our snowgear on public transit. Not quite the same, but very testing of a relationship.

I don't bring my significant other to the burn...so it's a bit different. I like the freedom of being able to do what I want, when I want, without the added stress of another person to worry about.

HOWEVER, I do a trial run of ALL my gear every year in late July to make sure everything is in working order. It gives me time to make necessary repairs, cut things, and add things.

As I am not a virgin, I make sure to clean EVERYTHING the minute I get home, write down what did and did not get used, pack everything up as if it's time to head back out, and store it for the rest of the year. I also glean a list of things that I need to buy: batteries, sheets, sunblock, etc.

Honestly, other than a few FUN things, I am pretty much packed and ready to go RIGHT NOW!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:59 pm

Welcome katiedid! A tip...for both of you....make sure you BOTH! get time alone! That's not only a true test, but almost manditory for couples at Burning Man. If you've never been, you may feel irritable the first couple days...a sign of dehydration..so take care of yourself and allow yourselves some free time.

A little off subject, but familiarize yourself with landmarks, and plan things together....just know exactly where and when to meet. Playa time is tricky, but watches do work in black rock...

dragonpilot · Post by **dragonpilot** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:09 pm

TomServo wrote:A little off subject, but familiarize yourself with landmarks, and plan things together....just know exactly where and when to meet. Playa time is tricky, but watches do work in black rock...

Bring a small compass and know how to use it if you get caught in a whiteout out on the deep playa.

So, if you're out by The Man or deeper and the dust blows up, take out your compass and head south...you'll eventually run into The Esplanade (main street)...from there you'll have enough landmarks and street signs to make it back to camp. Without some means of navigation you'll have to hunker down and wait for it to blow over. One year, that meant an 11 hour wait!

(OK...did I scare her? Sorry.)

teardropper · Post by **teardropper** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:56 pm

Well first, welcome.

And then, I know what you mean. Black Rock City can be an intimidating place. I feel it when driving in and my first night on the near playa, just checking it out. But just 'cause it's intimidating doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Lots of stuff I do kinda' scares me. I won't go into it too much, but that's part of the fun. Going with a new boyfriend... that could be interesting. Man, you just never know. I'm sure there are no metrics on this, in spite of what is said or you might guess. There is a time in your Burn when you will probably think, oh-oh. Drink some water, sit in the shade... you'll probably be OK. Look for that moment in your boyfriend, all your campmates, and make them do the same. It can be a harsh place. Prepare yourself, and him. Prepare, prepare... At least the problem won't be one you prepared for. It will something completely different.

See you on the playa. Go to the Meet&Greet at Barbie Death Camp on Thursday to put some faces on this ePlaya madness. You'll have, at least, fun.

Lowz · Post by **Lowz** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:39 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

And walk without rythm...It works fot the worms so maybe it'll work for your relationship.

The fact that you are already questionning the strength of your relationship is, hÃ©las, quite a clue

It remind me TED conference and one graph

(more but kind off topic there

http://www.socialtimes.com/2010/11/when ... ing-break/)

Anyway if you get in trouble come to me i'll comfort you

And welcome

(for the record i'm more like VeganChoirGirl , BM is MY week of freedom and the only boundaries i can cope with are mine ..)

FATCAMP · Post by **FATCAMP** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:26 am

Ha my MRS refuses to go. she has a highly skewed perspective and thinks it will tarnish her job as a elementary school teacher...O well I doing graduate cog neuro trying to advertise...I can't really get lower unless I was a public defender as a hobbiest...

teardropper · Post by **teardropper** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:53 am

dragonpilot wrote:Bring a small compass

Used the compass trick. Didn't really know, except in general, where to go. But it kept me from wandering in circles. Got off the playa, which is really all I wanted, and then into the arms of the nearest camp (too tough to find home) where we drank. Nice folks.

teardropper · Post by **teardropper** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:06 am

VeganChoirGirl wrote:HOWEVER, I do a trial run of ALL my gear

This really can't be stressed enough. At LEAST set everything up, but actually using it works best. I brought a solar set up last year, batteries, panel, controller, inverter. Set it up in my back yard and it worked fine. But on the playa the inverter would trip after 20 minutes. Couldn't figure it out. Set it up back at home and it, again, worked fine. A playa gremlin. I live pretty close by, 200 miles, and I try to go out the Fourth and test my new toys and gear. Won't be able to this year, so I hope I have the important stuff by Memorial Day for Rendezvous. But the inverter won't go, except for a little 150w for charging small electonics, which did work fine. Going with all 12v lighting. I'd say, fuck you, playa gremlin, but that just wouldn't be right.

FATCAMP · Post by **FATCAMP** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:19 am

My camp is taking all our structural stuff to a secluded and potentially windy beach in marina, ca where we had our first failed 40 fter due to wind. basically just an over night camp out with our yurt and dome...if anyone in the area wants to join let me know...prob just stick with a 20ft fire so the cops wont get called lol...should be anywhere between 5 and 50 people