BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
- Simon of the Playa
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- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Top Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Go to Burning Man
1. The Dust is Radioactive.
2. The DPW is allowed 13 kills per year, do you want to be a statistic?
3. All Straight Men have to suck off a Greeter upon Arrival.
4. All Lesbians have to suck off a Greeter upon Arrival.
5. All Gay Men are NOT allowed to suck off any Greeters at Any Time.
6. Burning Man is run by Nazi's, Space Nazi's to be exact.
7. There WILL be Kool-Aid this year, and it's fucking MANDATORY.
8. ALL PARTICIPANTS will be chipped for their safety....read the back of the ticket, asshole.
9. Larry IS a shape-shifting vampire.
10. ALL HIPPIES WILL BE SHOWERED AND THEIR HAIR CUT BEFORE ENTERING NO EXCEPTIONS.
BURNING MAN SUCKS, IT IS A SHITTY "BUCKET LIST" ITEM, DON'T KID YOURSELVES, YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS BEFORE YOU DIE.
11....IT IS A GODDAMN CULT, AND WE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!!!!
1. The Dust is Radioactive.
2. The DPW is allowed 13 kills per year, do you want to be a statistic?
3. All Straight Men have to suck off a Greeter upon Arrival.
4. All Lesbians have to suck off a Greeter upon Arrival.
5. All Gay Men are NOT allowed to suck off any Greeters at Any Time.
6. Burning Man is run by Nazi's, Space Nazi's to be exact.
7. There WILL be Kool-Aid this year, and it's fucking MANDATORY.
8. ALL PARTICIPANTS will be chipped for their safety....read the back of the ticket, asshole.
9. Larry IS a shape-shifting vampire.
10. ALL HIPPIES WILL BE SHOWERED AND THEIR HAIR CUT BEFORE ENTERING NO EXCEPTIONS.
BURNING MAN SUCKS, IT IS A SHITTY "BUCKET LIST" ITEM, DON'T KID YOURSELVES, YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS BEFORE YOU DIE.
11....IT IS A GODDAMN CULT, AND WE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!!!!
Frida Be You & Me
- TT120
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Sounds like it's good to be a greeter then......
Life's a bitch, then you go to Burning Man - Unjonharley
W6BJD
W6BJD
- piehole
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Bants
Glitter Apocalypse - Location: San Diego
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
What a poignant list of truths, well I don't think I need any more convincing, I'm canceling my card as we post
Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Shit! I'll take the micro chip! then I wont have to worry about getting the damn ticket after that...RIGHT?
Names pinemom, but my friends call me "Piney".
- unjonharley
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
TT120 wrote:Sounds like it's good to be a greeter then......
Not me.. I don't know where that mouth has been...
- ygmir
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
unjonharley wrote:TT120 wrote:Sounds like it's good to be a greeter then......
Not me.. I don't know where that mouth has been...
don't sweat the little stuff, UJH.
YGMIR
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
- unjonharley
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
ygmir wrote:unjonharley wrote:TT120 wrote:Sounds like it's good to be a greeter then......
Not me.. I don't know where that mouth has been...
don't sweat the little stuff, UJH.
You told me you wouldn't tell...
- Monkeypoo
- Posts: 1832
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- Camp Name: Bahama Mamas!
- Location: MendocinoCounty
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
I believe they already microchipped me...
*scratches back of neck*
*scratches back of neck*
- tattoogoddess
- Posts: 2099
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- Burning Since: 2012
- Location: Des Moines, Iowa
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Simon of the Playa wrote:
9. Larry IS a shape-shifting vampire.
Wait I thought He was a reptilian?
maladroit- Burning Man is like a second job, except you pay to work there.
Burning Man is just the pre party for exodus! - fellow burner during exodus
Burning Man is just the pre party for exodus! - fellow burner during exodus
- Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 18386
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
12.THE INDIAN TACOS ARE MADE FROM REAL INDIANS!!!!


Frida Be You & Me
- graidawg
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
dammit i didnt have an indian taco last time. do you think there will be any indians left by this time next year?
FREE THE SHERPAS
Burners with torches is right and natural and just.-fishy.
CATCH AND RELEASE.
Burners with torches is right and natural and just.-fishy.
CATCH AND RELEASE.
- burner von braun
- Posts: 1373
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
13. Afterward, you'll just go home, quit your job, and go live under a bridge like the rest of us.
- Elorrum
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
lottery for spaces under the bridge starts in September. You sign on for the whole fucking deal. Don't go.
"Ask again later." - Magic 8-Ball
- Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 18386
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
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- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
you guys got a BRIDGE?
wtf?
i am so starting a thread to complain about this.
wtf?
i am so starting a thread to complain about this.
Frida Be You & Me
- AntiM
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Elorrum wrote:lottery for spaces under the bridge starts in September. You sign on for the whole fucking deal. Don't go.
I had that dream last week. Hippies kept moving my stuff.
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
"Pretty people get preferential treatment"
Is this not on the back of the ticket this year? wtf!
Is this not on the back of the ticket this year? wtf!
In my world there's only legible and more legible.
-Bob
-Bob
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Yea... I was hoping to use my girlfriend as a pretty "battering ram" to get into things.
- jella
- Posts: 1822
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- Location: Escondido, California
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Monkeypoo wrote:I believe they already microchipped me...
*scratches back of neck*

It does explain the dreams
Burning Man isn't about the stuff you see when you get there ....it's about the people that brought that stuff there
- ygmir
- Posts: 29094
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Nipple wrote:Yea... I was hoping to use my girlfriend as a pretty "battering ram" to get into things.
RIght there!! This, is why I love it here. A land of opportunity!
YGMIR
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Yeah, but on your doors it would sound like gentle knocking. 

"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
ygmir wrote:unjonharley wrote:TT120 wrote:Sounds like it's good to be a greeter then......
Not me.. I don't know where that mouth has been...
don't sweat the little stuff, UJH.
As my father in law says, don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things!
Can you at least admit that nuclear explosions are awesome!?
- theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40313
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
As a confirmed gastrophile, I say we want Buttering Rams!
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
- ygmir
- Posts: 29094
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
theCryptofishist wrote:As a confirmed gastrophile, I say we want Buttering Rams!
oh, really Paul? (as played by Marlon Brando)
YGMIR
Unabashed Nordic
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Unabashed Nordic
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- theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40313
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
Dang, I forgot about that movie...
Not that I wasn't aware that "buttering rams" were a sketchy proposition at best...
Should I have said "sticky proposition"?
Not that I wasn't aware that "buttering rams" were a sketchy proposition at best...
Should I have said "sticky proposition"?
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
- ygmir
- Posts: 29094
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
theCryptofishist wrote:Dang, I forgot about that movie...
Not that I wasn't aware that "buttering rams" were a sketchy proposition at best...
Should I have said "sticky proposition"?
wherever you were to go with that, Fishy, your understated humor is always wonderful.
YGMIR
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
Unabashed Nordic
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!

I fully endorse this film about greasy poles.. each and every volume is filled with amazing insight.
Don't link to anything here!
- theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40313
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- Location: In Exile
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
For a moment there, I was afraid that you were talking about Lech Walesa's freak accident at the bacon cook-off.
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
- ygmir
- Posts: 29094
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
- Burning Since: 2017
- Camp Name: qqqq
- Location: nevada county
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
theCryptofishist wrote:For a moment there, I was afraid that you were talking about Lech Walesa's freak accident at the bacon cook-off.
you mean when he and Putin were having a "cook off"?

YGMIR
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- Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 18386
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
14. IF YOU HAVE ASTHMA, HEART PROBLEMS, PSYCHIATRIC OR EMOTIONAL ISSUES, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS OR DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADDICTIONS YOU MIGHT DIE!
!5. YOU MIGHT DIE ANYWAY!!!!
!5. YOU MIGHT DIE ANYWAY!!!!
Frida Be You & Me
- Roberto Dobbisano
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Re: BURNING MAN SUCKS!!! DON'T GO!!!
16. YOUR CATS MIGHT DIE WHILE YOU'RE GONE.
"10 principles? you cant HANDLE the 10 principles..."
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