List of reasons why 2012 will be the WORST. YEAR. EVER!

[Homiesinheaven]

-i heard from a reliable source in the inner circle that BMORG is gifting thousands of tickets to every fraternity and sorority at every single college and university across the US. WTF?

-not only did i not get the tickets i'm ENTITLED to receive but my theme camp was not placed! without my presence, BM is guaranteed to be absolutely horrible. guaranteed!

-OMG, so much DUBSTEP!

-i keep having dreams that BM is gonna be a huge outdoor mall. my dreams usually come true!

-Center Camp will be serving blood instead of coffee! ice will be frozen pee, not water!

-BM was so much better every single year before this one!


any others?

[theCryptofishist]

All tickets will have 1/4 inch holes punched in them.
In order to provide a hard surface, DPW is shellacking the entire closure area.
Larry Harvey will be animatronic.
At the man burn, all participants must hold hands, sway, and sing kumbaia.
GP&E to merge with heebee geebee healers.
Manditory "Five Minutes Hate" for the guy who made that video.
All participants must remove clothing and simulate (or actually engage in) sex acts when asked to by photographer.

[lemur]

[thisisthatwhichis]

The entrance road to Gate will be paved to reduce dust.

[Ugly Dougly]

Larry couldn't score a ticket for himself.

[catinthefunnyhat]

Broken Angel Bathhouse will be gifting Bath Salts instead of soap. Bath Salts made with Angel Dust. Watch out!
In Centre Camp Cafe, everyone must be wearing a bee suit and a clown nose at all times.
Every single person at the event this year will be a Burgin.

[Dr. Pyro]

All participants must remove clothing and simulate (or actually engage in) sex acts when asked to by photographer.

That actually sounds pretty darn good if you ask me.

[Simon of the Playa]

Lady Di is already dead so you'll have nothing to look forward to when you reach defaultia.

[catinthefunnyhat]

Lady Di is already dead so you'll have nothing to look forward to when you reach defaultia.

Wrong! I've got tickets to this Michael Jackson/Tupac concert in October.

[wh..sh]

Lady Di is already dead so you'll have nothing to look forward to when you reach defaultia.

Wrong! I've got tickets to this Michael Jackson/Tupac concert in October.

If you manage to keep burning man potentially fatal, sure...
I heard their last concert at Lake of fire was brilliant.

[Clar-i-ty]

Self-righteous vets will be shamed by the virgins who come and do it better and burnier.

[Simon of the Playa]

when pigs fly...





400 ft across the playa flung by a giant trebuchet into an open bar-b-q pit....

[mgb327]

Shut up, hippy.

[Elorrum]

ebola spores found in playa dust. news at eleven.

[Lonesomebri]

This year when the knobs behind me ask me to sit down and get out of their way of watching the burn, I won't.

[fraulein]

gotta love a good old self fulfilling prophecy

[catinthefunnyhat]

I will be there.

[TomServo]

It wont be 2002!
DUH!

[lemur]

This year when the knobs behind me ask me to sit down and get out of their way of watching the burn, I won't.

i totally saw rangers force a guy to sit down or get the fuck away at a burn once.

[Lonesomebri]

i totally saw rangers force a guy to sit down or get the fuck away at a burn once.

Not this year my friend. No, not this year.
This year the Rangers will be too busy enforcing the mandatory standing for the singing of the Anthem before each burn.

[theCryptofishist]

i totally saw rangers force a guy to sit down or get the fuck away at a burn once.

Not this year my friend. No, not this year.
This year the Rangers will be too busy enforcing the mandatory standing for the singing of the Anthem before each burn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVdVTVR-j0Q

[Homiesinheaven]

Reason #57: omg, it's gonna be soooooo DUSTY!

[theCryptofishist]

#58--Darkwads are developing attitude!

[Gonzo Frothwood]

Porta potties will be filled with kitty litter.
TP will be replaced w buckets of playa dirt.
Potties will be locked after last servicing at sundown.
Oh, is this the vicious rumors thread?

[BBadger]

Rather than a Tupac hologram ala Coachella, they're creating a Linda McCartney hologram.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoH9zP_n_g0

[Homiesinheaven]

#58--Darkwads are developing attitude!

hahahahaha, hilarious!

[Gonzo Frothwood]

Make it stop!

[Turtleburp]

I will be there.

and my hat will not be the remotest bit funny

[RedHeaven]

Daft Punk will NOT be there this year!!! They couldnt get tickets!!

[ACfromSAC]

I heard they're encouraging people to do the tomahawk chop and chant during the temple burn this year. Those who don't know the chant will be given laser pointers to shine on the temple so they won't be left out. WTF?