Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

[Simon of the Playa]

if you eat only clif bars and psychedelic mushrooms all week you wont have to shit until you get to the GSR in reno on tuesday.


seriously.

[Savannah]

However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!

Gives new meaning to "Thank goodness for Chef Boyardee!"

On another note, bring some Neosporin (or whatever generic brand you like) and dab some over your suffering orifice. It's a nice medicating balm, and keeps things from drying out and cracking due to movement. Also good for cuts in general.

Neosporin's quite nice in the nose, too, just the tiniest little bit--although if you put saline up there daily as a preventative, you might not need it.

[Sham]

I just love you people.
There are entire camps (dare I say entire neighborhoods) dedicated to servicing anal itch.
Water on your TP in the jots works well, then rinse when you get to camp and a bit of ointment if needed. Baby power is your best friend on all the sticky parts.

[unjonharley]

Lets talk about wounds a little.. The badger mention small cut and a good ointment..

I can speak of large wounds. I ended up needing 70+ stichs from a car wreak.. On site some one packed my arm with face tissue.. Do not do this.. Cleaning the blood wet paper out of the wound was a major job.. I uttered some very unkind word.. Use a rag. the med tent can wash the wound with saline. Keep the playa dust out. It turns to cement when dampen by water/blood.. There will always be looky lues standing around. Take/demand what ever you need.. I grabbed a big gulp out of a fat boys hand to wash blood off a lady so I could see where the pressure point was needed.. Just do what is needed.

[Ugly Dougly]

And don't force it, whatever you do. You'll get piles.
It's normal to be constipated when you're in a strange place.

And there's no place stranger than TTITD.

[Ugly Dougly]

Lets talk about wounds a little.. The badger mention small cut and a good ointment..

I can speak of large wounds. I ended up needing 70+ stichs from a car wreak.. On site some one packed my arm with face tissue.. Do not do this.. Cleaning the blood wet paper out of the wound was a major job.. I uttered some very unkind word.. Use a rag. the med tent can wash the wound with saline. Keep the playa dust out. It turns to cement when dampen by water/blood.. There will always be looky lues standing around. Take/demand what ever you need.. I grabbed a big gulp out of a fat boys hand to wash blood off a lady so I could see where the pressure point was needed.. Just do what is needed.

Dirty rags are a no-no. I got a big fucking cut once, was bleeding all over cremation. Luckily one of the bitches in town just had a baby, and I asked to borrow a CLEAN diaper. Worked like a charm.

[Savannah]

And don't force it, whatever you do. You'll get piles.
It's normal to be constipated when you're in a strange place.

And there's no place stranger than TTITD.

Yep! And portapotties don't really promote lingering.

Being hydrated, drinking juice and eating fruit daily (even canned, or dried cherries, etc) will help keep a person regular out there.

Lets talk about wounds a little.. The badger mention small cut and a good ointment..

I can speak of large wounds. I ended up needing 70+ stichs from a car wreak.. On site some one packed my arm with face tissue.. Do not do this.. Cleaning the blood wet paper out of the wound was a major job.. I uttered some very unkind word.. Use a rag. the med tent can wash the wound with saline. Keep the playa dust out. It turns to cement when dampen by water/blood.. There will always be looky lues standing around. Take/demand what ever you need.. I grabbed a big gulp out of a fat boys hand to wash blood off a lady so I could see where the pressure point was needed.. Just do what is needed.

Dirty rags are a no-no. I got a big fucking cut once, was bleeding all over cremation. Luckily one of the bitches in town just had a baby, and I asked to borrow a CLEAN diaper. Worked like a charm.

Medics often have maxi pads in their field kits for the same reason.

[lemur]

I just love you people.
There are entire camps (dare I say entire neighborhoods) dedicated to servicing anal itch.

this seems like a good time to invite everyone to the lamplighters bar, which is now officially named The Bruised Hole.... it is in center camp, behind the cafe... show up any time!

[Elorrum]

a on the positive side note: if you are focused on hydration and you are dancing walking biking moving more than you normally do... you might actually feel things working better!

[lemur]

when applying your ass cream make sure to cause the most embarrasing shadows to appear on your tent walls..

[Tiahaar]

this stuff is wonderful for 'bike butt', works for me where other creams do not relieve/heal the dreaded itch, but a note from the Dr. is needed to buy it
Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream USP 0.1%

[clocksnmirrors]

i did my business in a private bucket. this allowed me to you moist wipes to keep the situation down there under control

moist wipes: because a dry rub is only for roast beef

[Ugly Dougly]

when applying your ass cream make sure to cause the most embarrasing shadows to appear on your tent walls..

Embarrassing? Is this not Burning Man?

Here is what came to mind:

[media]

Okay, back to the argument.

[knowmad]

Holly shit! Two pages of anal itch and the king knowitall-beentheredonethat-inventedtheinternet hasn't paid a visit.

[Sail Man]

A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.

I don't care how much I love you, but you ain't spritzing my ass Mr!

[Turtleburp]

Some of this sage advice would make a great potty audio clip!

[unjonharley]

Some of this sage advice would make a great potty audio clip!

The ball is in your court..

[Turtleburp]

I am already volunteering frogs and hopefully time on playa.... My dulcet (nasal English/Australian) tones may now very well advise on anal itch.

Will have to run it past Soundman and co. first

[Nipple]

if you eat only clif bars and psychedelic mushrooms all week you wont have to shit until you get to the GSR in reno on tuesday.


seriously.

Clif Bar in.

Clif Bar out.

[theCryptofishist]

this stuff is wonderful for 'bike butt', works for me where other creams do not relieve/heal the dreaded itch, but a note from the Dr. is needed to buy it
Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream USP 0.1%

That's for fungus. If there are other causes, it won't help.

[Zhust]

Did someone say they wanted too much information? Great.

I tend to have softer-than-average stools, so my anus gets a bit messier than average. Fortunately I have a once-a-day schedule that is very consistent. (I have a friend who is firmer than average and plagued with frequent constipation — I'll take too soft any day.)

Regular showering offers a chance for a vigorous cleaning (even inside a little) but absent that, I need an alternative. So I do my best blotting clean with 2 sheets of single-ply tissue, repeating until clean. In the morning washing up, I rinse off with a wet washcloth. Once I'm done with washing, I use it on my butt, blotting around and poking in my anus, then send it straight to the dirty laundry bag.

This works well for me to stay comfortable. A key, I think, is not using soap. I have learned to only use soap for grease and bacteria (so almost no soap for general washing, and resorting to water and hand sanitizer at Burning Man). I think soap is your enemy: you need all of your skin's oils when on the Playa (and then some more).

And as a tangent, when I had a mole removed (benign, thanks for asking) they suggested I just use unscented petroleum jelly. I asked about Neosporin and the doctor said the risks of an allergic reaction were higher than the benefits of the antibacterial properties. So unless you already use Neosporin without issue, I'd just use Vaseline. For a general purpose moisturizer, I find olive oil works great. You can mix it with lemon or vinegar for a palatable salad dressing as well.

[Sail Man]

I tend to have softer-than-average stools, so my anus gets a bit messier than average

You might want to glue a cork atop your bike seat then

[clocksnmirrors]

You might want to glue a cork atop your bike seat then

i visualized this. and i laughed!

[Sail Man]

Jeezus, I think a gazillion ems scenes just replayed themselves in my mind

[Sail Man]

You might want to glue a cork atop your bike seat then

i visualized this. and i laughed!

I pictured the dutch boy with his finger in the dike lol

[theCryptofishist]

I bet that dyke was pretty pissed off.

[clocksnmirrors]

i bet that finger was none to happy either....

[EspressoDude]

Did someone say they wanted too much information? Great.

I find olive oil works great. You can mix it with lemon or vinegar for a palatable salad dressing as well.

definitely TMI

[Ugly Dougly]

Excuse me, butt you are in the TMI thread.

[ygmir]