do you think i'm oversexed?

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:53 am

OregonRed wrote:princess strych-9 said
only if you join me, babe. i've had this seriously unfulfilled d.p. fantasy for the longest time now....

Me too...

Then she said
thanks red, for that clarification. let's take it a step further, shall we?

it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

I agree with you on the first and third point.

In my eyes, when a partner breaks the contract, the relationship is over. The trust, which is essential to ANY relationship, has been broken, and once that's happened, nothing is ever the same again. I have known people who have stayed together after a breech of trust of this magnitude, and in all cases the damage to the relationship was irrepairable (sp?)

for the record, i've never cheated. ever. and don't plan to. ever.
Could you be any more groovy?

Actually this whole thing is reminding me of what my g/f was saying to me last weekend as we talked about all kinds of things. I'm curious though...I keep hearing about agreements...I've saw a post that sounded like they had something in writing. If such a contract / agreement exists I'm curious what it looks like. It might work for our new relationship that's getting off the ground.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:56 am

PJ wrote:
princess strych-9 wrote:
it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.
You forgot "When it's in an airplane."

or a train.

and if my diabolical memory serves me correctly, in quite a few snazzy sports cars on the side of the road, because you're such animals you can't even bother to drive 10 minutes to where a mattress is.

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:58 am

Kinetic wrote:
OregonRed wrote:princess strych-9 said
only if you join me, babe. i've had this seriously unfulfilled d.p. fantasy for the longest time now....

Me too...

Then she said
thanks red, for that clarification. let's take it a step further, shall we?

it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

I agree with you on the first and third point.

In my eyes, when a partner breaks the contract, the relationship is over. The trust, which is essential to ANY relationship, has been broken, and once that's happened, nothing is ever the same again. I have known people who have stayed together after a breech of trust of this magnitude, and in all cases the damage to the relationship was irrepairable (sp?)

for the record, i've never cheated. ever. and don't plan to. ever.
Could you be any more groovy?
Actually this whole thing is reminding me of what my g/f was saying to me last weekend as we talked about all kinds of things. I'm curious though...I keep hearing about agreements...I've saw a post that sounded like they had something in writing. If such a contract / agreement exists I'm curious what it looks like. It might work for our new relationship that's getting off the ground.

I just changed my reply (probably while you were writing this) but I think you're response is still pertinent.

shuranuff · Post by **shuranuff** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 12:13 pm

III wrote:>i think a much better standard for determining whether a particular activity is cheating is whether your partner objects when you tell them about it.

hmmm. i recommend checking it out with them before and not after.

so chimp, have you ever been savagely cheated on? or are you just rationalizing?

PJ · Post by PJ » Tue Sep 23, 2003 12:29 pm

Ivy wrote:
it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.
Personally, I'd have to go with "when you're drunk."

This calls for a little drink!

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 1:38 pm

Rob the fabulous wrote:
IMO, cheating is for the young. If you're still cheating on folks after you've grown up- you need to realize that you shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship. Or leave whoever you are with. Cheating is nothing more than dishonesty on a more emotionally pain-inflicting level. Guilt is the by-product of having a conscience, and therefore can be a good thing. It's the conscience wiring in your individual head that can be wrong. If you feel guilty for masturbating, you don't need that kind of guilt. If you feel guilty for running over your neighbor's kid, you should. Otherwise the streets would be lined with the corpses of people that piss you off.

Right on, Rob.

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 1:41 pm

princess strych-9 wrote:it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.

Um, am I the only one who thinks that

-when you're at Burning Man or any BMan-related function

belongs on this list?

Kinetic wrote:Polygamy/ polyamory, whatever....another reason why I hate living in the Midwest, the buckle of the bible belt. And the buckle never gets used.

Click here.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 1:51 pm

Thanks Flux.

I was considering joining AHS: Alternative Hedonistic Society...now I have choices. Of course Shannon might interfere with those plans.....

Sheesh I am in such a state of confusion right now.

And off the topic but...I'm afraid if I come out there for decompression with my job situation and all being the way it is, I might not come home.

Distractions and diversions of all kinds are welcome right now.

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 2:23 pm

Chimp wrote:

Never said I cheated, just in reality that people, literally all people, do

BTW - Fuck Guilt (in the ass!!)

you are here and then you are gone, doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, no point beating yourself up over shit that happened in the heat of any particular moment, chances are whoever you are with will have acted the same way at some point - Simply suggesting one should accept that as fact.

Are you including yourself in "literally all people"?
I've never cheated, and never will either.
Re: guilt, I'm with Rob. I could not live with myself if I were to crush this girl. I have way too much respect for her, and even if I for some reason didn't, she's way too smart for me to fool. I'd take myself out of the picture first if she didn't rock my world, or if I felt a stronger pull to someone else. Regarding the lad I was with at BM, he was a "potential". Every now and then I meet one of those (and for some reason, they all seem to show up at once, never when I'm single). I think some are best left at that, especially if it's going to cause a lot of pain and problems. don't get me wrong, it would be great if it were ok with my g/f to have him as a lover, but it's just not. maybe one day she'd be okay with that, maybe not. My ex b/f acknowledged the reality of "potentials" and my bisexuality, and basically gave me a license to fuck whomever I wanted, long as it didn't detract from our relationship. I thought that was so cool, I actually didn't fuck anyone else for about 5 years.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 3:18 pm

It's gotta be a West Coast thing. Attitudes like Gabegirl just posted about are few and far between in the midwest. Out here relationships are not very open....the women want rings, strings, and kids and will do anything to get it. Then once they get it, the idea of having an open relationship is about as much of a dream as the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In other words like an ex used to say, "it ain't gonna happen here, fuhgetaboutit".

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 3:18 pm

gabegirl wrote:My ex b/f acknowledged the reality of "potentials" and my bisexuality, and basically gave me a license to fuck whomever I wanted, long as it didn't detract from our relationship. I thought that was so cool, I actually didn't fuck anyone else for about 5 years.

If I may ask, what happened when you did? Was he still cool with it?

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 3:31 pm

My one experience with an open relationship seemed to backfire on me. When I proposed it she thought I was trying to find someone else besides her and was using that as a cover to try them out and then have her to come back to if things failed. Then I was told all I was trying to do was arrange a 3 way and she wanted no part of it. On an on it went, and I dropped the idea, then dropped her. (The 3 way would have been nice but no, she is too prim and proper for that).

Again, in the land of Dorothy and Toto, this sure as hell ain't Oz, and while it has it's good points, some days it sucks to be here.

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:58 pm

Karmic Marshmallow wrote:

If I may ask, what happened when you did? Was he still cool with it?

Well it did come up, after some serious issues we were already having.. You know: some tragic and stressful shit went down, he shut me out, I shut down, and then my head was turned. It really hurt him, and no doubt contributed to the end. But, we were already limping along at best. There were some real major incompatabilities there from the start, too. Btw, that was no west coast hippie, it was a Montreal punk!

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:36 am

We are all oversexed judging by the number of posts to this very simple question.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:43 am

bcruz70 wrote:We are all oversexed judging by the number of posts to this very simple question.

spoken like a true vancouver punk.

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:23 am

youre so oversexed and complicated that I almost think youre a guy.

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:30 am

I have to admit it worked on me, I nearly read every post to this topic. I guess I too am guilty

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:40 am

good eye.

i have been described more than once as being like a guy in a chick's body.

join the club.

burma shave, y'all.

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:53 am

so since this is under the "experiences" catagory and your question is "Do you ....Oversexed?" Did you have any experiences this year that might lead you to think that you are oversexed?

Lets cut to the chase here

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 3:38 am

bcruz70 wrote:so since this is under the "experiences" catagory and your question is "Do you ....Oversexed?" Did you have any experiences this year that might lead you to think that you are oversexed?

Lets cut to the chase here

i thought that's what i've been doing all along.

so, i walk up to blue house one night, just to see what's going on (fashion show) and the bouncer sez to me: "this year, my gift is heavy listening."

so i procede to tell him about having been chronically ill for years, about how things shifted radically when i got turned on to wellness. i was feeling great and all i could think about on the way back to the bay area ( i was in miami for a week and a half ) was how great the sex was going to be.

what i didn't take into account was how freaked out schreck got. understand, he was used to me being sick. he got to be the competant one, the caregiver, the breadwinner, the hero. imagine his shock when i came home and didn't need him anymore.

i got home on wednesday and shreck was at work. he had set out on the coffe table, a vase with red roses, and a half an ounce of bud. ( are you taking notes?)

long story short - we didn't have sex for over a week.

so i finish and i turn to the guy and ask: "ever had that happen to you?"

he's quiet for a moment, then sez: "my girlfriend usually spends this week camping with friends. this year, she decided to come with me and now i feel like i can't be myself".

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 3:51 am

[what i didn't take into account was how freaked out schreck got. understand, he was used to me being sick. he got to be the competant one, the caregiver, the breadwinner, the hero. imagine his shock when i came home and didn't need him anymore.

Schreck= your boyfriend?
[/quote]

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 4:15 am

my fiancee. we're getting married on oct 18.

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 4:20 am

but you do still need him.....or do you?

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 4:25 am

bcruz70 wrote:but you do still need him.....or do you?

i daresay i wouldn't be marrying him (or buying another house with him ) if i didn't need him.

i often liken our relationship to that of george burns and gracie allen.

except that i'm george and he's gracie.

bcruz70 · Post by **bcruz70** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 4:34 am

youre the straight-man? how fun is that? I'm glad we getting to the point of youre overall question here but I have to say I'm a little confused with the bouncer and all. youre really good at keeping the intrigue without saying anything specific

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:11 am

bcruz70 wrote:youre the straight-man? how fun is that? I'm glad we getting to the point of youre overall question here but I have to say I'm a little confused with the bouncer and all. youre really good at keeping the intrigue without saying anything specific

it's mad fun. and as any of our friends will attest to, very entertaining to be around. even when we fight, we try to be cute about it.

we have to - quincy has very strict rules about cute couples:

no fighting or fucking in public.

and you bcruz70? what's you're story, morning glory?

Arnold Layne · Post by **Arnold Layne** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:33 am

schieben Sie in meine Träume, Bruderschwester

'Dark Globe'

Oh where are you now
Pussy willow that smiled on this leaf?
When I was alone
You promised a stone from your heart

My head kissed the ground
I was half the way down
Treading the sand, please
Please lift a hand
I'm only a person
Whose armbands beat on his hands hang tall
Won't you miss me?
Wouldn't you miss me at all?

The poppy birds way
Swing twigs coffee brands around
Brandish her wand
With a feathery tong

My head kissed the ground
I was half the way down,
Treading the sand, please, please
Please lift a hand
I'm only a person
With Eskimo chain
I tattooed my brain all away
Won't you miss me?
Wouldn't you miss me at all?

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:43 am

Arnold Lane wrote:schieben Sie in meine Träume, Bruderschwester

My head kissed the ground
I was half the way down,
Treading the sand, please, please
Please lift a hand
I'm only a person
With Eskimo chain
I tattooed my brain all away
Won't you miss me?
Wouldn't you miss me at all?

i would miss you somethin fierce.

zie gezunt.

Das Bus · Post by **Das Bus** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:47 am

With the amount of posting to this thread, I would say we're all dangerously 'undersexed'.

Where's my vibrator!!!!!!!

PJ · Post by PJ » Thu Sep 25, 2003 7:36 am

bcruz70 wrote:youre so oversexed and complicated that I almost think youre a guy

Feh. Sure, normal guys are highly-sexed. But guys are about as complicated as a rock rolling downhill.

A guy that is indeed actually "complicated" is probably so fucked-up at so many fundamental levels that he should not be kept around.

do you think i'm oversexed?

yay rob

uh...

Re: uh...

Judging By the number of posts....

Re: Judging By the number of posts....

yes

Re: yes