Ask Eric

BBadger · Post by **BBadger** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 1:54 pm

Dear Eric: Are vanity threads really considered vanity threads if they were started by someone who is not the subject of the thread?

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 2:03 pm

Dear Eric

I thought GD was a subject, or am I confused?

Post by **Eric** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:20 pm

goathead wrote:Will they ever build the man of something other then wood? Maybe steel, and burn him with thermite, that would be fun.

No. Larry has trouble coming up with a theme, actually being clever enough to think of changing The Man is right out.

GreyCoyote wrote:Am I the only one who thinks you look a bit more like the guy on the RIGHT than the pudgy Leprechaun-ish goof-ball on the LEFT? (Maybe it's the square-framed glasses? Or the tilt of the head? Hey! Maybe we can get Simon to photoshop a walking stick into the original picture and compare?)

Or it could be that you see a big nose & see "Jew", and that overpowers the red-beard. Irrational fear of leprekikes.

BBadger wrote:Dear Eric: Are vanity threads really considered vanity threads if they were started by someone who is not the subject of the thread?

Normally I would say no, but for this thread it's definitely a yes, mainly due to my vanity.

goathead wrote:I thought GD was a subject, or am I confused?

He's a subject, but not the subject. Occasionally he's a verb, but we don't talk about that publicly.

grenadine · Post by **grenadine** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:48 pm

Dear Eric,

What is your ideal 24 hours in Black Rock City?

Post by **Eric** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:06 pm

grenadine wrote:What is your ideal 24 hours in Black Rock City?

Being in Black Rock City. Full stop.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:27 pm

Dear Eric

I just found out that they've discovered a species of snail with 5 assholes.

Do you think those snails can ever really be regular?

Post by **Sham** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:02 pm

Dear Eric,
The above post reminds me of the man with 5 penises. His condom fit like a glove.

Wait, there was no question for you, but thank you for allowing my bad joke in your thread.

Post by **Eric** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:10 pm

FIGJAM wrote:I just found out that they've discovered a species of snail with 5 assholes. Do you think those snails can ever really be regular?

Regular? No. But they're guaranteed to be the life of the orgy.

Shambala wrote:The above post reminds me of the man with 5 penises. His condom fit like a glove.
Wait, there was no question for you, but thank you for allowing my bad joke in your thread.

I didn't allow it, you just placed it here instead of digging up the "bad joke" thread. Please do not blame me for your failings.

TT120 · Post by **TT120** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:18 pm

Dear Eric:

Ginger or Maryann?

Post by **Eric** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:22 pm

TT120 wrote:Ginger or Maryann?

Always go with the ginger. Trust me.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:56 pm

Eric wrote:
FIGJAM wrote:I just found out that they've discovered a species of snail with 5 assholes. Do you think those snails can ever really be regular?
Regular? No. But they're guaranteed to be the life of the orgy.

Snails...
But hermaphrodites are always popular at orgies...

Post by **Eric** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:21 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
Eric wrote:
FIGJAM wrote:I just found out that they've discovered a species of snail with 5 assholes. Do you think those snails can ever really be regular?
Regular? No. But they're guaranteed to be the life of the orgy.
Snails...
But hermaphrodites are always popular at orgies...

Everybody is popular at an orgy. That's why it's an orgy.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:50 pm

Eric wrote:
goathead wrote:
He's a subject, but not the subject. Occasionally he's a verb, but we don't talk about that publicly.

ERIC!

Dear Eric this will be my 3rd year at BM, do you have any suggestions as to things to do I may not have thought of or already done?

Post by **Eric** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:59 pm

graidawg wrote:Dear Eric this will be my 3rd year at BM, do you have any suggestions as to things to do I may not have thought of or already done?

Dress like a sparkle pony, ask people if they've either found Jesus or if they have any party favors.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:02 am

Eric wrote:
graidawg wrote:Dear Eric this will be my 3rd year at BM, do you have any suggestions as to things to do I may not have thought of or already done?
Dress like a sparkle pony, ask people if they've either found Eric or if they have any party favors.

thank you Eric for your prompt response now I need to find a sparklepony outfiters.

Post by **Eric** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:15 am

graidawg wrote:thank you Eric for your prompt response now I need to find a sparklepony outfiters.

Try etsy & ebay. Your keywords are: "fake-fur leggings", "feathers", "glitter", "wings", and "blue wig". The dayglo bikini is optional.

Post by **Sham** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:15 am

Eric wrote:I didn't allow it, you just placed it here instead of digging up the "bad joke" thread. Please do not blame me for your failings.

My apologies your Ericness. My question now is, can you forgive me?

BoyScoutGirl · Post by **BoyScoutGirl** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:16 am

graidawg wrote:...now I need to find a sparklepony outfitters.

This made me giggle and only missed becoming my new signature line by a hair's breadth (a hare's breath?) - because I didn't want it accidentally attributed to me in earnest.

Dear Eric,

I like meeting people at the burn but when I run out of topics to discuss, I default to bad puns. How can I avoiding inflicting the poor interlocuter(s) with a case of involuntary groans and eye-rolls?

Post by **Eric** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:31 am

Shambala wrote:
Eric wrote:I didn't allow it, you just placed it here instead of digging up the "bad joke" thread. Please do not blame me for your failings.
My apologies your Ericness. My question now is, can you forgive me?

When you bring the Phone Car back to the playa & I get to ride around sitting on top of it, you will be completely forgiven. Until then I'll be polite, but hold you in mild disdain.

BoyScoutGirl wrote:I like meeting people at the burn but when I run out of topics to discuss, I default to bad puns. How can I avoiding inflicting the poor interlocuter(s) with a case of involuntary groans and eye-rolls?

Puns are only "bad" when you go for the easy ones. Work on resetting your linguistic skills and you can successfully avoid having to have actual conversations with people.

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:35 pm

Eric wrote:
GreyCoyote wrote:Eric: You EVIL person! Why did you run-off Clocks-N-Mirrors and Knowmad?

(Kidding! But on a serious note they seem to be absent. Have you heard of/from either lately?)
Evil would draw them in, not run them off. They my kind of folks.

Agreed, haven't heard from Clocks in ages.

Hellihello!

Eric;
where is the best place on the playa for a girl like me to bee seen but not have to interact with the commoners?

Post by **Eric** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:19 pm

knowmad wrote:where is the best place on the playa for a girl like me to bee seen but not have to interact with the commoners?

The deck at First Camp. It's highly encouraged to turn your back when the plebes wave or try to say "hi".

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:43 pm

eric, if i go back in time, can you get me tickets to the prince show?

Sic Pup · Post by **Sic Pup** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 6:25 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:eric, if i go back in time, can you get me tickets to the prince show?

Dear Eric,

Is it some weird metaphysical synchronicity that things in my life began turning topsy turvy just about the time that Michael Jackson became weirder than Prince or something entirely different?

Post by **Eric** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:24 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:eric, if i go back in time, can you get me tickets to the prince show?

As soon as you can go back in time, I can get you tickets. Guaranteed.

Sic Pup wrote:Is it some weird metaphysical synchronicity that things in my life began turning topsy turvy just about the time that Michael Jackson became weirder than Prince or something entirely different?

I don't think you can blame either of them, unless by "topsy turvy" you mean that you suddenly had proclivities to wear heavy makeup and sequined clothing. In that case, yes, it was synchronicity - or Stockholm syndrome, since we were all basically held prisoner to that music.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:34 pm

If Simon gets to go to that Prince show, can I go back in time and see the Sex Pistols and then go back further in time and see the debut of (and riot at) Rite of Spring? And maybe throw a few punches at Stonewall, and then I'll assassinate Stalin. Or Hitler--whichever gets me the best karma.

Post by **Eric** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:59 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:If Simon gets to go to that Prince show, can I go back in time and see the Sex Pistols and then go back further in time and see the debut of (and riot at) Rite of Spring? And maybe throw a few punches at Stonewall, and then I'll assassinate Stalin. Or Hitler--whichever gets me the best karma.

Simon wants to go back & watch a concert at a venue I work at, you want to go back and muck up the history of countries I've never been to. However, if you can go back in time, I say go for it - but forget Stalin. Shoot Empress Alexandra & get Sergei Witte's reforms accepted.

ranger magnum · Post by **ranger magnum** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:15 pm

Shambala wrote:Dear Eric,
The above post reminds me of the man with 5 penises. His condom fit like a glove.
Wait, there was no question for you, but thank you for allowing my bad joke in your thread.

Dear Eric,

Did you hear about the man who got a penis transplant?

His hand rejected it.

Sorry. Its late...

Magnum

Post by **Eric** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:22 pm

ranger magnum wrote:Sorry. Its late...

Obviously.
I'll pretend I didn't see your post - this time.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:43 am

Eric wrote:
Simon of the Playa wrote:eric, if i go back in time, can you get me tickets to the prince show?
As soon as you can go back in time, I can get you tickets. Guaranteed.

i'll see you there.

[media]

Sic Pup · Post by **Sic Pup** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:03 am

Dear Eric,

Twice in as many weeks a certain unnamed ePlaya God has stated that being gay means never having to wait for the next bj (paraphrasing), in your omniscient and sagacious opinion is this correct and should I take that into consideration the next time I'm contemplating team affiliation?

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