Fuck!

[samtzu]

Sparkletarte wrote:

The wife of the owner killed herself (car exhaust) in the shop that I want to use for my business. I think she'll be okay with what we do though, plus I'll be cleaning up her once-flourishing flowerbeds that have been neglected for four years. No horror movie scenarios, ideally.

I don't even know where to go with that one...

[tisha2]

Sparkletarte wrote:

The wife of the owner killed herself (car exhaust) in the shop that I want to use for my business. I think she'll be okay with what we do though, plus I'll be cleaning up her once-flourishing flowerbeds that have been neglected for four years. No horror movie scenarios, ideally.

I don't even know where to go with that one...

does seem ripe, doesn't it?

[theCryptofishist]

Sparkletarte wrote:

The wife of the owner killed herself (car exhaust) in the shop that I want to use for my business. I think she'll be okay with what we do though, plus I'll be cleaning up her once-flourishing flowerbeds that have been neglected for four years. No horror movie scenarios, ideally.

I don't even know where to go with that one...

does seem ripe, doesn't it?

Hm. I could see it as a novel, but movies would automatically go over the top.

[theCryptofishist]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go the 13th floor.

[sparkletarte]

What the fuck do you mean you don't know where to go with that one? (it's the fuck that makes it sound harsh, not me)

Our theory is that she was an unhappy person. She was really into her gardens and flowergardens, both of which have been seriously neglected by the various renters, as has the house which is getting pretty run down. I'm imagining that her gardens were a source of happiness for her. My business deals with organic produce and I love growing flowers and other plants. If she wasn't happy in her life, maybe she will get some sense of peace knowing that her home and gardens are being well tended.

Makes sense doesn't it? Work with me here people, I want to be comfortable working in my shop at night by myself, not scared.

[stuart]

be fucking careful

don't trust inspectors that were referred by realtors

[buckethead alien]

Those two KKraig's LList-type postings (job, crib, whatever) make me want to say FUCK. Gimme Black Rock Ric anyday. Find another place for you fucking classified ads, fuckweeds. So fuck.

[Alpha]

sparkle: you're either insane or getting one hell of a deal. (fuck of a deal?) Never mind the ghosts, she'll be cool with an organic grower, MIND THE FOUNDATION. Hey maybe you know more about houses than I do, but that sounds like a money pit to me. Call in a structural engineer, don't trust a general inspector even if you chose him/her yourself. Oh, and if the fucker won't even counter-offer then you can bet he'll nickle-and-dime you to death in escrow.

[sparkletarte]

I have a good inspector, and my dad is going to look at it. He's a contractor and super for building projects and is trained as an architect, so lots of bases covered. And yes, we are really interested in the foundation and structure, won't be overlooking anything there.

The guy being a fucking bugger though, nickle and dime was a good call. Now, apparently, after 8 months on the market with no offers, there's another fucking offer! So he counters both of us with $2,000 below his asking price and says give me your best offer. The other one is subject to the sale of another home, so we are in a better position, I fucking hope! But it really fucking sucks, as we wanted it to be cheaper so we could spend more fixing it up. Stupid fucking other people.

The thing is that in the 1 1/2 years of looking for a place where I can live and have my business, this is only the second place we've found that's suitable, and it's the most suitable one we've found. I really want it. Grrr.

So I guess we'll give him a high offer and once we get the inspections done we'll reopen the offer when we find out what the deal is.

Geez, I sure hope it wasn't my loud mouth going off about this 'great cheap place we found in ...' that brought about this other offer. I may have to learn to keep my mouth more shut.

[Sensei]

Fuck.

[buckethead alien]

Regarding the other offer -- how sure are you that there <i>is</i> an other offer?

[cowboyangel]

[geekster]

So I am driving around today and see a sign we have all seen a million times but for some reason, this time, FUCK!

"FOR SALE BY OWNER" ... I mean like, FUCK, I should HOPE so. "FOR SALE BY NEIGHBOR" or "FOR SALE BY STRANGER" or "FOR SALE BY ANYONE EXCEPT THE OWNER" just doesn't make a fuck of a lot of sense.

"FOR SALE BY OWNER" NO FUCKING SHIT!

[Lydia Love]

Just what the fuck am I gonna do tonight??

Tomorrow is my first full day off in fucking weeks... but I can't figure out what the fuck to do *now* that I can be recovering from tomorrow...

[Sensei]

Oh, I do feel SO bad for you...

I'm at work till 11. Now THAT is fucked.

[robbidobbs]

FUCK!
I was well past the middle of my ember report and I got a phone call from this GEEEEEK! that's snaking after me, and it was all I could fucking DO to get him off the FUCKING PHONE so I could finish this very important document, and when I did, FUCKING YAHOO had logged me out.
FUCK!
So I had to rewrite it. Don't know if I got everything. Fucking, fuck.
Gawddamnit.
It's a good thing I know my shit.
Now how in the HELL do I get this geek peeled off of me.
Fuck.

[geekster]

Hmmm, how to repel a geek. Well ... start by thinking Opera! Offer to go places where computers dont work and involve physical exertion like maybe in the mountains. Places where cell phones and PDA's and pagers don't work is even better. In a pinch, anywhere with long durations of direct sunlight will usually do the trick.

If you don't actually want to meet said geek, there are still some things you might want to do. NEVER MENTION COMPUTERS or if comes up, express great hatred for them and for the Internet too. Express great disdain for any kind of gadgets, toys, whatever. Tell him you spend a lot of time in the water or in the wild where his toys won't work. Tell him you like to get dirty working on cars and ask him if he knows how to change a CV joint on a 89 Chevy and should you replace just the joint or get a rebuilt halfshaft.

Tell him your secret desire is to live with no electricity whatsoever, including batteries of any sort and that you have decided that all occupants of your living space must bathe three times a day. Express a revulsion for junk or fast food of any kind and mention that you are on a liver and parsnip diet.

That should have him running in no time at all.

Oh, and FUCK!

[cowboyangel]

Just what the fuck am I gonna do tonight??

Tomorrow is my first full day off in fucking weeks... but I can't figure out what the fuck to do *now* that I can be recovering from tomorrow...

hint.....try live webcam

[samtzu]

FUCK!
Now how in the HELL do I get this geek peeled off of me.
Fuck.

A few ideas:

• Spray him with "OFF!", claiming you can see things crawling on him...
  Invite him to a remote park where biker gangs like to drink and shoot things
  Snuggle up to him real close, nuzzle him, then bite his ear off. Tell him that reeeeealy turns you on, and start fingering some of his other body parts.
  Invite him over to "Train the Dobie"
  Come to his house with a baseball bat; run around closing all his curtains, then peer out them muttering in Parsi. Turn to him when he speaks and menace him with the bat, saying, "Shhhh!"
  Shoot all the tires out on his car.
  Shoot his car
  Shoot him
  Tell him you spend a week in the desert every year, giving speaches in front of occupied Porta-Potties (He probably won't believe you)

If none of that works, you're going to have to hire someone to take care of him. I'M booked up until after the first of the year, but give me a ring after that.

[Rob the Wop]

Now how in the HELL do I get this geek peeled off of me.
Fuck.

Find out which version of 'Star Trek' he's a fan of. Act like you are a rabid fan of the OTHER one. He will automattically hate you, and for whatever reason- he will not be offended when you treat him like shit from then on.

[sparkletarte]

Well.

We lost the house. I listened to other people instead of my own intuition and bid lower than I thought I should. And we lost it by a couple thousand. Fuck. I'm really, really, unhappy right now. It was more than buying a house, it was buying place for my business to be. I've been not very into my business for the last year or longer and when I saw this place I was completely inspired and excited about it again. I had everything figured out. No one seems to understand what they place meant to me. Please don't try to say anything about another place will come along or whatever. I've heard enough. I'm the one who has been looking for a place like this for a year and a half. I'm the one who knows what I can afford and how rare it is to find a place that meets my business needs. And now I lost it. I'm lost now too. I don't know what to do except that I'm really upset and sad. And I'm scared about what will happen to my business because I can't do it here anymore. I can't do what I need to do in order for it to really thrive. Now what. I'm now very sparkley right now. I'm really really sad.

[BAS]

Now how in the HELL do I get this geek peeled off of me.
Fuck.

Well..., what the fuck? (had to get that word in somehow ), you could try always managing to bring up dead things and death when he talks to you..., always bring the conversation around to how pets and plants and other things you have somehow just seem to wind up dead..., and then ask if he wants to see the latest zombie movie. (A disclaimer-- I haven't actually tested this, it was just a strategy I came up with while trying to think of creative ways to get rid of telemarketers. For the most part, it seems, telemarketers don't want to talk to me anyway, so it has gone untested.)

Fuck! My computer just logged me off the internet! I suppose that's what I get for rambling...

[robbidobbs]

You guys just crack me up. I'll try to incorporate your advice into my next encounter (to be avoided as long as possible).

Here's todays FUCKing rant.
I've had a personal ad up for many years now, mostly to find friends, and meet interesting guys. Ok, I want to get laid too.
What really pisses me off is when a dude responds to my ad, which clearly states that I've got a bit of body padding, and they're all like "Hey baby", then I scroll thru to read their ad and they clearly state that they're looking for someone slender to athletic build. WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY BOTHERING ME THEN!!! If they give a shit about what a females body type is enough to include it in their profile, then they can refrain from insulting the shit out of me by responding to my ad.
And another thing that irks me: poor spelling and grammar when responding to my ad. It's the equivalent of not zipping their fly IMO.
And what's up with these jerks who think I want to see their dicks before I've ever seen their faces??? WTF!?!

What am I looking for? the twinkle in their eye, good verbal skills and for petes sake keep it in your pants until I've finished my coffee/beer/driving away!!!

...FUCK!

[Zulegoona]

I wasn't going to respond to this because it seemed like I could end up going places that could result in hurt feelings but I wrote as I thought and ended up rambling and I think I might have accidentally touched on some truths.

Take the easiest part first;
"And another thing that irks me: poor spelling and grammar when responding to my ad. It's the equivalent of not zipping their fly IMO. "

As someone who has always been truly horrible at spelling, ( I blame my problem on dyslexia ) I rely heavily on spell check. As we all know that has it's limitations. Everything I post I first write out in an e-mail to spell check it then cut and past it into a reply box. Some guys might not have discovered this trick. Then there is the great number of idiot horndogs, to take into consideration. There really are a lot of stupid people in the world and they are looking for love too. Also many men are lazy when it comes to written communication, already feeling inadequate using language they discount the need to clean up the form to get their ideas across.

Women are traditionally have better verbal skills, the nature / nurture arguments aside, women tend to be more in tune with language. Traditionally they respond to autoerotic stimulus more than men, men tend to respond to visual erotica more than autoerotic stimulus. In American culture again "traditionally" appearance has been more important in attracting a mate for females than it has been for males, male could use power, wealth, even gentleness as an attract. This has allowed men to delude themselves about there own appearance and sense of self. Men easily invasion themselves with a super model in their fantasies. In writing a personal profile a man is likely to express his Idea fantasy mate rather than a realistic idea of a multidimensional woman that in real life he would find attractive. Advertising for the fantasy isn't exclusive to men, I've seen ads were a woman working in retail and earning $25k a year is advertising for a fit to athletic man making over $75K a year. You can't always trust the ad, If a guy is contacting you, you interest him. It may be he just thinks he can get laid but it might also be he really does find you attractive to spite what his fantasy might have been.

Oh and never mind what I said about autoerotica you got me into a froth on the idle chat thread................. Fuck

[geekster]

My problem is that my brain seems to "autocorrect" and I don't see the errors until after I come back to it later. Another problem is that I am thinking so far ahead of what I am writing that I sometimes stumble in my typing and leave out a word or start a second thought in writing before I have finished writing the second. By the same token, I tend not to judge the spelling/grammar of others much as long as I can get the basic idea. If it is completely confusing, I will ask.

But I draw the line at people who write like they are doing an SMS message. That's just plain lazy. And PeEpS Th4t TyPe LiKe ThIs tell me that they need to be the center of attention and are not being very considerate of the reader.

So FUCK ME for my misspellings or lapses of grammar ... or not. But I have to agree with Robbidobbs about people that don't even take the time to carefully go over a profile before contacting someone are just clutter.

[buckethead alien]

Fuck. This is not Kraig's LList, right? Fuck.

[Sensei]

Just got a minute here... I just wanted to say, "Fuck".

[Bambi of Finland]

Well fuck all y'all, and fuck you, you fucking fucks, and fuck you, you fucking fuckers....FUCK!

[tisha2]

Well fuck all y'all, and fuck you, you fucking fucks, and fuck you, you fucking fuckers....FUCK!

aawwww.....i think Bambi needs a fucking hug....

*squeeze*

(note: *squeeze* differs slightly from *crush* - no cross-posting necessary)

[stuart]

A big hug to you velvet. You may not find your dream house anytime soon but I know you'll find your feet.