go ask alice

DE FACTO · Post by **DE FACTO** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 2:20 am

ramen wrote:Alice,

Who the fuck is Krotus, anyway. Come on, don't hold back or I'll have to put the cuffs on you and apply some liquid sunshiine to tease the information from your supple, ripe young body.

Spill the beans, sister, don't make me play rough!

oooohh can i watch?

ramen · Post by **ramen** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 2:26 am

DE FACTO wrote:
ramen wrote:Alice,

Who the fuck is Krotus, anyway. Come on, don't hold back or I'll have to put the cuffs on you and apply some liquid sunshiine to tease the information from your supple, ripe young body.

Spill the beans, sister, don't make me play rough!
oooohh can i watch?

Alas, this is merely a figment of my admittedly fevered imagination.

DE FACTO · Post by **DE FACTO** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 2:30 am

Alas, this is merely a figment of my admittedly fevered imagination.

these words are tooooo big fo me.

ha!

(no....really)

ha

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 6:12 am

ramen wrote:Fresh out of liquid sunshine anyway, hard to keep fresh.

i fail to see what that has to do with your not being able to find your way over here and ravage me.

ramen · Post by **ramen** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 9:15 am

alice wrote:
ramen wrote:Fresh out of liquid sunshine anyway, hard to keep fresh.
i fail to see what that has to do with your not being able to find your way over here and ravage me.

Actually I am embarrassed because I used the word 'fresh' twice in one sentence.

What I really want to do is radish you....rub your body with an innocuous vegetable.

Barring that, well sure, ravishing!!

michael · Post by **michael** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 9:45 am

dear alice-

I have four bathrooms in my home. It seems that the playa has conditioned me to urinate in a bottle.

Consuming a full pot of coffee every morning is common. In combination with drinking plenty of water throughout the day, I must urinate often.

Most of the day is spent in my workshop without a toilet. The shop is less than a 35-foot journey to some porcelain. At one time we had a porta-potti on site and I still used a bottle.

When the bottle reaches capacity it is poured on a compost pile, the worms love it.

Should I have installed a toilet in the shop or am I enhancing the environment by adding it to the compost? Or am I sick for not taking a quick skip to the john?

My wife thinks that this habit is nasty. What should I do?

hoodreau · Post by **hoodreau** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 9:55 am

Dear Alice,
I am working to achieve invisibility. So far, I'm nude and painted blue. Apparently, that's not enough according to Officer Sam. Any ideas?

Love,
Me

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:01 am

Dear Alice,

Do you have any suggestions for improving someone's listening skills?

michael · Post by **michael** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:10 am

blyslv wrote:Dear Alice,

Do you have any suggestions for improving someone's listening skills?

I am not alice… but

Sometimes it may be useful to listen to that person. Maybe they are trying to tell you why they do not listen, in a sort of hidden way.

michael · Post by **michael** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:13 am

dear alice,

Sometimes my wife does not listen to me. What should I do?

Kinetic II · Post by **Kinetic II** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:21 am

Dear Alice,

I am giving a serious look at moving to the bay area right after the first of the year. I have no idea where to begin on looking for a place to stay in the Bay Area. I know of Craig's list and I've found some resources, my biggest problem is knowing what areas I should look at for a "reasonable by SF standards" place to stay.

If anyone reading this thread can offer serious advice on what areas would be worth looking at, please PM me or maybe post here. PM is preferred. I've learned I would need something close to BART or transit systems as I might be giving up having a vehicle. That's going to be a shock if I do it. Anyway now that my job is being outsourced in January and my chances of being rehired in are slim to none, I have to move quickly. Any info anyone could provide...would be very welcome right now.

Thanks,
Kinetic II (Shawn)

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:29 am

Dear Alice,

I'm in a bit of a quandry. I'm trying to figure out how best to guide a 6 GeV electron beam through a series of steering magnets here at work. I'm not sure if I should initiate with a undulator magnet or a wiggler magnet to establish and set initial parameters. Because collimated beam - especially with highly relatavistic electrons - can give rise to fairly high energy photons (x-rays) I could in theory generate a fairly considerable radiation field and if I make the wrong choice people could die.

So, in order to absolve myself of any personal responsibility (it seems to be the rave these days) I'm wondering...

Would you choose for me? Wiggler or undulator magnet?

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:38 am

Kinetic II wrote: I might be giving up having a vehicle.

Do it! SF is one of the few cities in America where you are better off without a car. When you have to blow town, rent one. It's a hell of alot cheaper. Add up insurance, parking (paying for tickets, the stress of finding it, or paying for a monthly spot) and the other crap. Renting a car once a month is only about ~$2,500 a year. Now think about a bike, and wheeling it out of your apartment and taking off, laughing at the suckers in their cars. After several months your lover will certaintly appreciate many enhanced things about you. You will be intimate with your neighboorhood and areas of the city you'd never get to on a car.

"The more you drive, the stupider you get."

Kinetic II · Post by **Kinetic II** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 10:55 am

Not to drift the thread but your serious, I wouldn't need a car in SF itself? I'm sitting here trying to figure out the financials and the truck payment + insurance are the problem. I'm tempted to let my parents take the truck as they need one and I wouldn't but...I wasn't sure if a bike was realistic for my primary transport out there. If the truck is out of the picture, I might be able to swing this...as scary as it is.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:04 am

Kinetic II wrote: I wouldn't need a car in SF itself?

It's all about the neighborhood, where you'll be working ect. I've always arranged it so I'm close to work, walking or biking distance. This saves a lot of time and money. I've never lived in SF, but I've visited a fair bit and ridden my bike there a lot. I have lived in other dense urban areas with just a bike and loved it. Riding in traffic can be a hell of a rush! So maybe before committing to a neighborhood, figure out where you'll work.

All usual disclaimers apply!

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:07 am

spanky! wrote:dear alice-

I have four bathrooms in my home. It seems that the playa has conditioned me to urinate in a bottle.

Consuming a full pot of coffee every morning is common. In combination with drinking plenty of water throughout the day, I must urinate often.

Most of the day is spent in my workshop without a toilet. The shop is less than a 35-foot journey to some porcelain. At one time we had a porta-potti on site and I still used a bottle.

When the bottle reaches capacity it is poured on a compost pile, the worms love it.

Should I have installed a toilet in the shop or am I enhancing the environment by adding it to the compost? Or am I sick for not taking a quick skip to the john?

My wife thinks that this habit is nasty. What should I do?

dear s -

my hubby boy like to pee outside, as well. i think it's just a guy thing, and while it may be gross, at least i'm thankful he doesn't pee in the sink.

love,

alice

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:09 am

hoodreau wrote:Dear Alice,
I am working to achieve invisibility. So far, I'm nude and painted blue. Apparently, that's not enough according to Officer Sam. Any ideas?

Love,
Me

dear m -

one idea, yes: that trying to defy the laws of physics is a specious, fatuous waste of time, and that you'd be better off finding some hot young playa thing to practice your appearring act instead.

love -

beth

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:10 am

spanky! wrote:dear alice,

Sometimes my wife does not listen to me. What should I do?

dear twimc -

perhaps you should start by listening to her first.

love -

alice

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:14 am

Badger wrote:Dear Alice,

I'm in a bit of a quandry. I'm trying to figure out how best to guide a 6 GeV electron beam through a series of steering magnets here at work. I'm not sure if I should initiate with a undulator magnet or a wiggler magnet to establish and set initial parameters. Because collimated beam - especially with highly relatavistic electrons - can give rise to fairly high energy photons (x-rays) I could in theory generate a fairly considerable radiation field and if I make the wrong choice people could die.

So, in order to absolve myself of any personal responsibility (it seems to be the rave these days) I'm wondering...

Would you choose for me? Wiggler or undulator magnet?

i think you have me confused with bob stahl.

hoodreau · Post by **hoodreau** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:16 am

do wiggling and udulating really have to be mutually exclusive?

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:24 am

hoodreau wrote:do wiggling and udulating really have to be mutually exclusive?

i should think not.

hoodreau - perhaps you would like to be my guest advice-giver, in the math and science geek section of go ask alice?

hoodreau · Post by **hoodreau** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 12:33 pm

Sure, as long as I get to wiggle and udulate. And ullulate. That's the best of all. A life without ullulation is a life not worth living.

Niacin · Post by **Niacin** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 12:35 pm

Dear Alice:

With the housing market in a disaster in South Florida, I have to make the choice of whether I would like to move into a rented apartment, buy a townhouse, or get a house 60 minutes from my job. What do you think?

Cheers,
Max

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 12:39 pm

Dear Alice:

I'm addicted. OBSESSED. My mood swings wildly depending on what's going on with e-playa. What should I do?

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 12:49 pm

Niacin wrote:Dear Alice:

With the housing market in a disaster in South Florida, I have to make the choice of whether I would like to move into a rented apartment, buy a townhouse, or get a house 60 minutes from my job. What do you think?

Cheers,
Max

dear m -

you know how i feel about that fifthy miasma - move the hell out! you're never going to be happy there, you almost got killed by some clueless fuckwit, your ex is behaving like a psychotic, and we need you here. want to be my tech support?

i need help. in fact, i'm calling a staph meeting right now. get your ass on the phone.

love,

alice.

alice · Post by **alice** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 12:58 pm

Alpha wrote:Dear Alice:

I'm addicted. OBSESSED. My mood swings wildly depending on what's going on with e-playa. What should I do?

dear a -

first i need to know what you're obsessed about.

love,

alice

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:01 pm

alice wrote:first i need to know what you're obsessed about.

Suppose I were obsessed with certain e-playans? What then?

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:02 pm

Dear Alice,

I have a serious problem in that I start to masturbate constantly whenever I write to online advice columnists. It generally starts out slowly, and ends up getting my keyBoard all messy. I've talked to several psyChiatrIsts about this issue, AnD they feel that It could be a cHiLdhOoD experience at thHe root of the iIsSSuE. I'm noRmmaLllY not lLlisdKe this- only wWhsdoeeN writing to alkjdlkjViJScCe columnists. tL:jkklh;kljilKS is starting tL:JKnv become ahjdsf real issue WKwIhtghgh my girlfriend. jkgIGvghkKh,kfTUKMghVc tyimjfycycghCkhCtyTYccytchMhgctyCTiUK better now.

Thanks you for listening to my problem,
Furhands Luke

Kinetic II · Post by **Kinetic II** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:05 pm

Rob the Wop wrote:Dear Alice,

I have a serious problem in that I start to masturbate constantly whenever I write to online advice columnists. It generally starts out slowly, and ends up getting my keyBoard all messy. I've talked to several psyChiatrIsts about this issue, AnD they feel that It could be a cHiLdhOoD experience at thHe root of the iIsSSuE. I'm noRmmaLllY not lLlisdKe this- only wWhsdoeeN writing to alkjdlkjViJScCe columnists. tL:jkklh;kljilKS is starting tL:JKnv become ahjdsf real issue WKwIhtghgh my girlfriend. jkgIGvghkKh,kfTUKMghVc tyimjfycycghCkhCtyTYccytchMhgctyCTiUK better now.

Thanks you for listening to my problem,
Furhands Luke

It sounds like you need to use some Aloe Vera gel with anesthetic as your lubricant. It will fix those messy keyboard problems of yours. I know how it takes the sting out of sunburns, surely it would work for your needs.

Taniwha · Post by **Taniwha** » Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:14 pm

hoodreau wrote:I am working to achieve invisibility. So far, I'm nude and painted blue. Apparently, that's not enough according to Officer Sam.

Ah .... you need to re-read your Pooh

go ask alice

Re: objects in mirror can be closer than they appear...

Re: objects in mirror can be closer than they appear...

pee on me

Re: pee on me