Stupid Things Your Father Said

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:31 pm

jkisha wrote:
VeganChoirGirl wrote:
"If we give the gays the right to marry, pretty soon we'll be marrying pigs to women, and children to men. Where does it stop?? This is a slippery path you're treading young lady. If you were older like me, you would understand!"
Oh my.
Daddy (or maybe mommy) needs a harsh talking to.

Sigh, my dad. Here's to the OC. And ignorance.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:37 pm

At least you managed to escape.

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:39 pm

jkisha wrote:At least you managed to escape.

NO DOUBT!

flatlander13 · Post by **flatlander13** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:49 pm

Dad: â€œIâ€™m going to go see a man about a dog.â€

Sic Pup · Post by **Sic Pup** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:21 pm

Mom: "what are you doing?
Dad (whatever he was doing being self-evident): "knitting a sweater"

Dad: "4 fingers"
Codephrase for the unspoken "son, bring me a glass and a bottle of scotch, please"

Dad: "go downstairs and get me the left-handed hammer"
I only fell for that once.

Whomever: "did you get a hair cut?"
Dad: "no I got them all cut"

Edit due to being drug addled, oh and I don't think these are stupid. more endearing.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:39 pm

VeganChoirGirl wrote:My mother: "All well bread girls play bridge, the piano, and tennis, dear"
Me: "But I don't LIKE bridge, the piano, or tennis!"

I'm probably going to regret this. Is that bread sliced? Whole grain?

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:46 pm

Some of these sound like good advice.

delle · Post by **delle** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:53 pm

Yup they do.

And this might sound strange, but Trishntek's Pop's comment about the microwave already being warmed up is one my kids will probably tag on me later on.

Being a 2 popcorn bag family, I've learned that the second really does burn if put in for the same amount of time straight after the first.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:58 pm

That's just because you got the electricity flowing right.

delle · Post by **delle** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:58 pm

My favorite comment from my mom was:

"You know? You think you're so cool and radical, but you're probably one of the most conservative people I've ever met. You never step out of your box."

This came from me refusing to consider a dress (probably with smocking and crinoline) in a time when I would wear nothing but tattered overalls and workboots.

(not a stupid comment. A brilliant one. But I wanted to share it)

delle · Post by **delle** » Thu Mar 10, 2011 5:16 pm

My not so favorite comment from my mom was one that she told my eldest sister (twice divorced, no children):

"You know, you don't have to actually marry these men. Just have some kids!!!"

This was after I had told her in my 20's that my plan was to have a couple of kids by "sperm donors" and then to bring them up by myself, perhaps with a male nanny at home for some masculine influence.

She'd balked and sputtered about how such things JUST WEREN'T DONE!!!

Apparently, she thought they just shouldn't be done by me, but that it was a perfect plan for my sister!

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 8:30 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
VeganChoirGirl wrote:My mother: "All well bread girls play bridge, the piano, and tennis, dear"
Me: "But I don't LIKE bridge, the piano, or tennis!"
I'm probably going to regret this. Is that bread sliced? Whole grain?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Nice Fishy. It was def a funny spelling mistake.

Post by **Elderberry** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 10:10 am

VeganChoirGirl wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:
VeganChoirGirl wrote:My mother: "All well bread girls play bridge, the piano, and tennis, dear"
Me: "But I don't LIKE bridge, the piano, or tennis!"
I'm probably going to regret this. Is that bread sliced? Whole grain?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Nice Fishy. It was def a funny spelling mistake.

Huh? Spelling mistake? I'm confused. What was spelled incorrectly?

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 10:15 am

jkisha wrote:
VeganChoirGirl wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote: I'm probably going to regret this. Is that bread sliced? Whole grain?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Nice Fishy. It was def a funny spelling mistake.
Huh? Spelling mistake? I'm confused. What was spelled incorrectly?

Well-bred vs. well-bread

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:07 am

I can't speak this in Sicilian, but I can translate it. This was from my grandma regarding money: "If you don't have it in your hand, you can't afford it."

I found it to be good advice.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:09 am

maryanimal wrote:I can't speak this in Sicilian, but I can translate it. This was from my grandma regarding money: "If you don't have it in your hand, you can't afford it."

I found it to be good advice.

Miagia Merda di fi mordida.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:17 am

TomServo wrote:
maryanimal wrote:I can't speak this in Sicilian, but I can translate it. This was from my grandma regarding money: "If you don't have it in your hand, you can't afford it."

I found it to be good advice.
Miagia Merda di fi mordida.

Thanks Tom but I think it goes something like this, "Se non si hanno i soldi in mano, non puÃ² permetterselo".

Risky · Post by **Risky** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:39 am

My dad would tell me that if I killed that wasp flying around in the house that his relatives would come back to avenge his death.

It always gave me the heebee jeebies all day.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 12:17 pm

Risky wrote:My dad would tell me that if I killed that wasp flying around in the house that his relatives would come back to avenge his death.

It always gave me the heebee jeebies all day.

thats true!

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 4:25 pm

me: 'What are you doing?"
Dad: "Mildewing"

Dad, every time he saw me writing something. "Still left handed?"