Jagged Texas redneck blown away by SEXY Jewish backpacker

[M Joe Boss]

Should we get divorced? Probably. It would make it easier for me. Seems married women have no problem getting boyfriends, but married men are considered losers or worse when they get girlfriends.

I hear you man. and you are completely right.

Good luck to you as well.

[schnoidl]

boy I sure got sucked into that

one, if your mariage is sick, either fix it or break it off. Not wanting to "destroy" your wife is emotional blackmail by proxy (translation: your actions do not "cause" her feelings, and if she said they did she'd be guilty of manipulation, and you are just as guilty if you act according to that fear), and isn't a healthy reason to stay. Life's too short to waste on situations that are really going nowhere. Tell her you want to go to counselling together or you're out of here.

two, Gabbie might well be a little freaked that this whole story is up on the web, and her likely image of you as a big strapping hunk of Texas man is now confused by your revelation that you're all touchy feeling and uncertain. One thing a lot of women like in a man is certainty regarding who he is, even if it means he's a total jerk.

try and back off the heavy love thing, and the overwhelm at How Amazing She Is, and see if there's a way to keep in touch, not because you hope for it to eventually go your way, but because you share something that was exactly what it was.

and, altogether, try replacing "I should" with "I want" and see where else the sentences go.

and maybe go see what that sweet Amy's been up to, she sounded nice : )

[M Joe Boss]

Schnoidl, Got the PM thanks. Good stuff.

About Amy, she was definately beautiful, and sweet, but I couldn't do that to them, even if I had a chance.

As far as Gabbie goes, I am over it ,I realize now that it was just a romp in the hay. I should have seen that all along. I am sure that, had we gotten together, it would have been great for a couple of weeks and then for all we had in common, we would have surely found out we were completely incompatible. The real bitch of it all is, I was to stupid to see the light. I couldn't get over how I felt. It was akin to a virgin falling in love with the first chick he sleeps with, more in common there than I would have liked to admit.
Gabbie , come to think of it, was probably relieved to find out I had a wife, after the initial shock.
I was in total bliss for a couple days and I did not want that to go away. I don't think you can call it more. But I sure jumped the gun on that. She is a very cool chick, and if somebody gets her to fall in love with him , I think he is going to be a very happy man. But that guy wasn't me. However I have also taken away from this, two people don't have to be in love to have an awesome experience together. I haven't heard back from her. I don't suppose I ever will . I am sure that I probably made her feel quite uncomfortable back here in the real world. Hell I made me feel uncomfortable here in the real world.

My marriage is definately weird. I have, since getting back, dropped an overwhelming amount of hints to my wife about our situation. She is either choosing to ignore them, or she is totally oblivious. I say hints, but what I really mean, is coming right out and saying what is on my mind without trying to be to in her face about it. I do not think it is a winning situation.
I don't think this is a salvagable situation as far as the physical apsects go. Probably wouldn't ever be able to do all that nicey-nice stuff anymore. It's just too far past the point of no return. I, unless I hit the lotto, will have to stick it out until the kids are grown. Not really looking forward to living that way for the next 15 years, but I don't really have a choice. I have heard a couple of people say that if I left, it would all work out. But the fact is that the all mighty dollar won't multiply just because the # of houses, and expenses does. I had somebody calculate what I would have to pay in child spport and spousal support if I left, and it was astounding. I wouldn't have enough left to rent an apartment with 2 BR so my kids could come stay with me, let alone pay the rest of the expenses. I wonder if my wife is already privvy to that info??? Even if I did get an apartment I would have no place to put my tools and equipment. Current pricing for such a large storage unit suggests another 600.00 a month, not including my trailers. I don't have enough room now.
I am hosed. It is only making me more frustrated within.

I guess I will have to find "love" whereever I can get it, in the mean time. That ain't no easy task, I'm not exactly great looking, and I as I said before I have a hard time meeting peoople anyways.

[M Joe Boss]

BOY, I am apparently quite long winded as of late.

[buckethead alien]

M Joe --

A couple of things from my own experience about therapy:

1. We think nothing of calling in the washing machine repairperson (car, television, whatever) when the thing needs fixing, so why do we have all this hesitation to ask for a little professional assistance when the head needs something. After all, we are infinitely more complicated than the ol' GE Scrub-a-matic.

2. One-on-one conversations can help a lot with figuring out how to deal with other peoples' fucked up selves. (Mom, wife, employees...)

3. Find the right therapist. Go with your gut on this one. If one seems like an objectionable, bug-eyed geek, move on ASAP. Been there.

4. Two words: sliding scale. Most therapists will be very accomodating on this. Just tell them what you think your monthly budget can afford upfront.

5. It works. Take this from a guy who once threw a heavy, three-speed bike at a New York City cab.

[M Joe Boss]

M Joe --

5. It works. Take this from a guy who once threw a heavy, three-speed bike at a New York City cab.

You think that is some anger management issues, after my parents went through a really bad divorce, I through my math teacher out a second story window, and then through his desk out on top of him. Another time, and my last day to ever attend school, was when somebody I did not even know came running up and just punched the holly hell out of me. When I realized what was going on, my female friend I had been walking with was calling him all sorts of names. He turned around and punched her right in the face, bad move, I wound up putting either his head or his entire body through 7 giant plate glass windows. It wound up messing him up pretty bad. fortunately a cop had seen the whole thing, so I didn't have to go to jail that time, but the school system reguarded me as an immeasurable threat to the overall safety of the srudent body, and I was never allowed back in school. I had some real temper issues back then, and could have probably used some counseling at that time , but not sure it wouldn't have set me off even more

It is still rattling around in my head, the whole thing. I can tell you this though, until I find out when am going to be working again I can't spend a dime.

Depression is a big part of my life right now. No, it is not because of what happened on the playa, it is mostly weatherrelated and what is left is split up between work and current marrital. I may have to move back to Texas, to get to where I don't feel this way. Really got screwed out of this summer, it is already cold and dreary in P-town

[M Joe Boss]

OK after reading back thruogh some of my posts, I realized that i am starting to sound like a real phsycopath. When somebody messes with me or mine, I am one of those people who will get down to business in a hurry. But I am not as bad as these small peices of my life make me sound. I am pretty abrasive, I don't mean to offend, but some people do not like the way I happen to put things, simple and straight to the point. This has caused a few problems, cause some people think I am trying to be mean.

As far as what is going on right now, things are much better. The weather has been far better, I have been able to take some long rides on the Harley,and really clear my head. The same problems are still there, but seem to be less than they were last week. The weather had alot to do with that, cause , as someone who likes to spend alot of time outdoors,I was feeling screwed out of 2+ mos of nice weather.

Work is looking like it is fixin to pick up, another good sign. And time is obviously the best form of healing. And I am playing the lottery with a new sence of vigor.

My wife is obviously not going to change, and after 11 years ,I finally figured this out. So when I win the lotto I will give her half, and see about moving my life into a new direction. I want my marriage to end on the best terms possible. I don't wish her any ill will, and my kids don't need the misery. My parents went through an ugly divorce, and they were both at fault, for making our lives incredibly miserable with the fighting and slander, putting us in the middle. This stuff went on for ever, hell it still does, That is why I haven't talked to my father since '98, he won't drop it. My mother was just as bad. No do not stay together for the kid's sake, it will make you a very hateful person who will wind up driving them away, or worse. On the other hand, if you do get a divorce don't be an ass, accept your responsibility for your part of what went wrong, try and see the other person's side, and end it amicably. Everyone will be better off for it . I was real sure I had seen a very bizzarre divorce when somebody I knew had separated with intention of divorce, and moved just 3 doors down from one another, but in the same building. I thought these people were nuts. I then saw how good it was for their kid, and realized that was indeed the way to do it. They ended it very amicably , there was alot of pain but they didn't blame everything on the other person, I say cheers to them.

Sorry about that little tangeant. My brain was wandering a li'l bit. That is probably a real good sign too, I have been too focused for too long( 2 weeks). I am ADD, I am not supposed to be able to focus that well, I was probably starting burn brain cells.

I am on a mission. That may involve killing, maming, loving ,lusting, touching, feeling, drinking, being merry, being with Mary, being on top , being on the bottom, sideways, a bunch of other weird positions, and getting back to life as I once knew it. If you so choose to volunteer for this mission, you need to know all those previously stated, could happen to you. I take responsibility only for myself and you must do the same. Now buckle up and enjoy the ride. this merry-go-round don't stop for nobody.

[bizdeviant]

I know this may be beyond the BM "It's all good" pale, but my sense is that you appear to be an excellent candidate for unassisted suicide:

1. Your options are limited, with each option sucking to great degree;
2. You are caught in an endless loop of self-recrimination and doubt;
3. Your personality is hard-wired for externalized violence.

Oh, another option you might consider is purchasing DirecTV satellite service with a dual-tuner TiVo box that has at least 140 hours of storage. My experience that that particular configuration can sublimate even those frustrations or violent impulses that xanax, lithium and thorazine can't.

[M Joe Boss]

but my sense is that you appear to be an excellent candidate for unassisted suicide

You damn right, I don't need no assistance, I can certainly manage that myself.

Oh, another option you might consider is purchasing DirecTV satellite service with a dual-tuner TiVo box that has at least 140 hours of storage. My experience that that particular configuration can sublimate even those frustrations or violent impulses that xanax, lithium and thorazine can't.

Oh, do you have any literature. How about price comparisons with xanax, lithium. If it's cheaper I'm there baby

[samtzu]

M Joe Boss: What about your kids? Where do they figure in your decision making process. I haven't heard too much about them?

As a person who has gone through two divorces (My parent's and my own) I know what it does to kids. Have you considered what will happen to them?

[M Joe Boss]

M Joe Boss: What about your kids? Where do they figure in your decision making process. I haven't heard too much about them?

My kids are the most precious things in the world to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must consider first off, their physical wellbeing; shoes, clothes,food, roof over their head etc. etc. etc. That is where I am right now in my decision ,making. I must then consider how decisions I need to make will effect them. not an easy task by any means. But I am not one for sheltering my kids either, I beleive that is a form of abuse all on it's own. I will let them touch the hot bbq, and they will learn from it more in one second than a lifetime of my yelling could ever instill. Sounds kind of harsh, but I want them to be armed with as much knowledge as I can give them before I send them out of the nest on their own. I know this world isn't always fun and peachy and they need to know that too.You don't usually get the prize for second place and you must trudge on. Learn from from your tragedies and use them to help in the future. I get alot of hell about wanting my kids to know that life isn't always grand and sometimes your best just don't cut the mustard, and that you don't have dontrol of so many things . But those are facts. And pretty or not they need to these things now.

That being said ,I also would never intentionally do something to hurt my children. I have to figure out what is the best solution for all, be it temporary or permanant. Like I said before, I won't stay with my wife simply for the kids. first of all I think people who are saying shit like that are copping out , and also putting a bullshit burden on their children. If I stay it will not be "for the kids" it will be cause I cannot afford to maintain our standard of living ( no matter how simple) by living in another house. I have a unique situation on my hands, in that I do not hate my wife, and do want the best for her and the kids. This is not the case in most divorces/whatever this is. I will probably ,like I said ,suck it up and deal with it for as long as nessecary. But it is as much for me and for my mom and my wife as it is for the kids. It is called co-habitation.

More later

[M Joe Boss]

back again.

I hope that I pretty much anwered your question.

What I want to know is , is there anybody else reading this ,who is in a similar situation??? I would like to hear from you if there is.

I have come a long ways in the last month of my life. Before BM I think it was something like 6 years since I had been eyed by a woman( including my wife). I get back from BM and it is happening at least once a week. I don't know what the difference is but it has made me feel alot better about me. I really needed that, even if I didn't know it at the time. I still don't know what is going to happen ,I can only guess. I am struggling with some stuff that I never thought was possible. Do I stay and make sure everything is taken care of?? find love on the side??

[TheMuse]

Never stay together just for the kids. It may seem like the "responsible" thing to do, but in the end you are doing an injustice to both the children and yourself. If you are truly unhappy together (and if counseling fails...please see a professional first) it is best to part as amicably as possible and stay close to continue raising your children together. You only have one life to live, so don't live it like a prison term. Kids get over things much easier than you think, and oftentimes they themselves can see and are affected by the tension between parents. But if it does come to divorce, be sure to explain that it is not "their fault" as clearly as possible... then enjoy your life with them.

[samtzu]

The Muse wrote:

Kids get over things much easier than you think

... and they can be affected by things more deeply than you can think. There is an innate need in humans to gather together in groups and the primary group is the family. If the primary group is dissolved, a disruption does occur in the development of the psyche of the children. We can all "get by" later on in life, but lets not kid ourselves. There will be scars.

As a divorcee, I can't just stand there and say, "Don't do it!", because, hey... I have one under my belt; I've done it. But I will say "Think very carefully, plot out all the consequences." because they do exist. If you love your children, do the right thing.... but discover what that "right thing" is before you make your decision.

My $.02...

[TheMuse]

Yes, scars do happen, but sometimes a bit of drama in your childhood can be a good thing. Most of the well-rounded, artistic people I know have some sort of scars that have added passionate fuel to their work, beliefs and choices in life.

But keep in mind that I do agree with you Samtzu, one should always think in-depth about the consequences of an action before acting. I am also saddened by the breakdown of the family unit. I would argue that the main solution to that problem is truly getting to know one another before making the commitment of marriage and/or children. No matter how much someone may seem to be "your soulmate"... spend several years getting to know each other before having children. And by all means LIVE TOGETHER a couple of years before getting married or spawning!

By the way, my parents divorced when I was 8 years old (and I have been divorced myself). It was the best thing that could have happened for my parents.... they are much happier without each other. If they had stayed together unhappily just for the sake of us kids I would have grown up feeling guilty that they wasted so many years being unhappy together just for our sake.

[M Joe Boss]

I would argue that the main solution to that problem is truly getting to know one another before making the commitment of marriage and/or children. No matter how much someone may seem to be "your soulmate"... spend several years getting to know each other before having children. And by all means LIVE TOGETHER a couple of years before getting married or spawning!

Well, that only works if you're not an idiot. I say this because my wife and I lived together almost three years before tying the nuece, and 5.5 years before our first child arrived. Thing is though, I am glad I had my children with this woman, in that respect I don't think I could have picked a better partner. Strange huh??

I always beleived that we would work out the other issues. I beleived, for a long time,that there was something I could do to change our intimacy level. After I figured out I couldn't ,I was +2 kids and -8 or 9 years. I wanted to do this right, cause I am a proponant of living together first, and then making the rest of those decisions, but You have to be open eyed in order for that to do any good

[samtzu]

The Muse wrote:

I am also saddened by the breakdown of the family unit. I would argue that the main solution to that problem is truly getting to know one another before making the commitment of marriage and/or children.

I agree with you %100! I have studied the issue a lot since my own divorce (fourteen years ago) and have come to the conclusion that marriage is outdated, except to form a safe haven in which to raise children. I agree with what M Joe writes, though, that even living together for a long time doesn't alway guarantee that the marriage will work out. Hell, my sister and her husband were married for 32 years when she said "Fuck this, I'm outta' here..." and dumped him. The children were all adults at this point, but my niece and nephews have all gone batshit over this.

So it goes.

And you're right... a little pain (or a lot!) goes into the making of a good artist.

[badburner]

Well dude I have been sand bagging this sappy story for a while.

I know the Gabbie your talking about, we are close friends. She has a boyfriend who will beat you to a pulp if he evr finds out about yuo.
She told me about you. She thought you were pretty pathetic, and that you wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't like you at all but she figured you were harmless, and she just wanted to get her groove on, and I gess that wasn't real great either. I know you have been e-mailing her and you should quit NOW. Gabbie told me she just wants to get on with her life, and forget the huge mistake she made!!!!!!! Amy the one you thought was so sweet, thought you were an incredible idiot, and a scumbag. She couldn't figure out how gabbie "hit it" with you to begin with.

I am just letting you know whats up!! I don't want Gabbies Boyfriend to get in trouble for beating you to hell and back. This link is Over, if you want whats best for Gabbi .
Just leave her alone, and get back to trolling.

[nipples]

Elephant Boy

No relation to John Merrick, but a youthful peddler of souvenir tat to tourists. His speciality is in climbing aboard boats on Bangkok's rivers. An attempt to sell a wooden elephant to Bond quickly took second place to Bond's promise of 20,000 baht if he could get Bond's spluttering boat to go any faster. When he does, however, his only reward is a push in the face and a trip back into the river. It's hard not to emphasise with his cry of "Bloody tourists!" (TMWTGG)

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/1139/bonde.html

[nipples]

Oh yeah. By the way, I just pasted the above from the link below the passage.

I did not write, but copied when searching for a moment in a film & thought it most well written.


love & shit & stuff,

nipples

[TheMuse]

She has a boyfriend who will beat you to a pulp if he evr finds out about yuo.

Can someone explain why, when a woman has an affair, and their significant other finds out about it, men immediately get angry and violent towards the "other man". This caveman like behavior is ridiculous. #1 the "other man" might not have know she was in a relationship and #2 the woman is just as responsible (I know from personal experience ). Wake up boys... the days of us being property are long gone.

[Alpha]

Maybe it's just me but badburner's post smacks of trollism to me. Aside from the name, it just seems unlikely that the people and situations described would match the kind of barbarism badburner is throwing out. I suspect he knows nothing of the people involved in the OP, but that instead he's trying to ruffle Joe's feathers or else it's a misdirected attempt at getting him to forget about the girl.

[M Joe Boss]

Muse,

It is not about ownership at all. It is because when men feel hurt that is how they/we react (I know this from experience). We are still evolving, and are not perfectly sensitive and cognicent all the time. Men are still animals, we still feel some of the knee jerk reactions that have been there since we were tiny little mammals. I am quite sure evolution has not finished with our species, and some are further behind than others

As far as this guy beating me to a pulp, just tell him to make sure he brings some friends and a lunch. This ain't my first RODEO.

[Miss Kate]

Good grief BadBurner, you’re so full of poo. Please enlighten us as to why if Gabbi was slumming with M. Joe Boss, why all the time spent? Why’d she come back to say goodbye? I couldn’t possibly sit through Shanghi-whatever the heck it was for someone I wasn’t sweet on.

[badburner]

Good grief BadBurner, you’re so full of poo. Please enlighten us as to why if Gabbi was slumming with M. Joe Boss, why all the time spent? Why’d she come back to say goodbye? I couldn’t possibly sit through Shanghi-whatever the heck it was for someone I wasn’t sweet on.

She said the movies are what made it barable. I can only tell you what she has tol me. I beleive her cause she has no reason to lie. As 4 M.Joe Boss I saw him wout there, and lets face it he is no prize.

Here and her bo have been together over 3 years and I think he is trying to come between them. But the only possibility are that he might brake them up, but he doesn't have a chance with her. I think he is just a troll praying on women to tired or drunk to know any better :x

[GuinivereElise]

mmm, I smell something foul.... did the sewer back up?

Oh, no. It's just the troll that has invaded this thread. Someone please shove Badburner back under the bridge he belongs to...

As far as the sexy jewish backpacker story goes...

I can't help but notice the way in which your emotions fluctuate to the extremes... completely enamored vs. almost spiteful. Complete interest in the grrl or complete disinterest. Immediate infatuation and then dismissive immediately. I hate to toss the word "manic" around lightly, but honestly, you need some counseling. Find a professional... seek some help. It sounds like you just need someone to talk to, on a regular basis. Are you a church-goer? Usually pastors/priests will be more than happy to do a weekly counseling thing... they'd probably even come right to your house, if you wanted. (By the way, I'm not saying marriage counseling... I'm strictly saying YOU.) Even if it IS someone who has a professional career, they'll most often work on a sliding scale, if you ask. Insurance even covers some counseling...

From what I've seen here of you, it would benefit you greatly...

[M Joe Boss]

I can't help but notice the way in which your emotions fluctuate to the extremes... completely enamored vs. almost spiteful. Complete interest in the grrl or complete disinterest. Immediate infatuation and then dismissive immediately. I hate to toss the word "manic" around lightly, but honestly, you need some counseling.

I certainly understand how it sounds to the reading audience. But you have to remember that this was how I was dealing with my pain, and frustration. I had the ups and downs that generally happen in these situations. I was manic for a while. I had really no one to talk to, that could understand how I was feeling. That is why I kept on writing in here. I, when sounding the most pissed off , was hurting the worst. I found out alot about myself, and I am still learning. This was indeed manic. because that is the process by whitch I was dealing. And this was my only vent. The disinterest is a form of self defense. I, fortunately, got to talk to someone extensively about this the other day. He was very insightful and understood better than I, what was going on inside me.

As far as Badburner goes he is certainly allowed to voice his opinion , and there may be some validity to what he is saying, hell it could be entirely true. Gabbie didn't seem that way, but things aren't always as they seem. I do have my doubts. Though I can only speak for myself.

As far as threatening me, that is a really bad idea! I hope Gabbie's boyfriend does not find out what happened, cuz I don't want her to hate me for it. But if he does, and needs to take it out on someone I would much reather it be me than her.

[samtzu]

Badburner doesn't exist. Alpha nailed it: this is a troll. Trolls are shit eaters and will starve to death unless you produce the shit for them. They were beaten (or ignored) as children and they come on the boards only to get beaten more (they miss it), to gain attention, or to gain some sort of emotional revenge on people who might actually have a life. What a crock. Troll boy doesn't know Gabby, and has all the credibility of a cheap lawyer.
DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!

[Rob the Wop]

Next thing you'll be telling me is that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Sheesh.

No, i refuse to believe it. I seen 100 of them just last year!!

[M Joe Boss]

I surely think he you guys are right. This couldn't be true of that wonderful person I met on the playa. I don't know what Badburner is trying to accomplish anyways. I can only guess they are tired of reading this thread, as it is, and wants to spice it up.