The Bar

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:20 pm

Reminds me of a Mythbusters episode I watched last night...
it involved tiny methane bubbles that had risen out of a bucket in a semi-solid vertical column to about 7 feet tall.
Then they set it on fire...

Box Burner · Post by **Box Burner** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:21 pm

A Beer with a "fro!

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:24 pm

mereth wrote:Damnitall. Why'd you have to go and do that, Mozy?...
Where's my car keys?!
To hell with work, I'm gettin' me some s'mores...

my plan is working perfectly.... Mwah ha ha ha!!

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:27 pm

Not quite! the aforementioned quote was edited out as it felt wrong to say I wanted s'mores after a new page had turned and there was an image where the tagline is "Black Power".

That could be taken to be a realllllly bad juxtaposition.

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:31 pm

Box Burner · Post by **Box Burner** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:31 pm

I have to leave for work,

See ya all later.

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:35 pm

Have fun BoxB!! Don't work tooo hard...

Mozy!! My word...
You're blinding me with this creamy, crunchy, chocolately, sticky goodness...

I know what I'm having for dessert tonight... Or maybe for a 2pm snack if I can find a flame source...

Red Sunflower · Post by **Red Sunflower** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:19 pm

Here you go Mereth:

A dinner party of different nationalities had arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in it.

* The Swede demanded to have new wine in the same glass.

* The Englishman demanded to have new wine in a new glass.

* The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and drank the wine.

* The Russian drank the wine, fly and all.

* The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine.

* The Jew caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.

* The Roman drank two thirds of the wine and then demanded to have new wine.

* The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish for cod.

* The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the wine, which he then donated to the Englishman.

* The American sued the restaurant and claimed for a 65 million dollar compensation for mental suffering.

* The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and roared: 'Now spit out all that you swallowed!!'

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:24 pm

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:39 pm

Yea!!!... Joke Night!!!............

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving all over the road. Eventually a cop pulls him over.

"Did you know," says the cop, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:43 pm

Anyone else care to chime in?

A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10,000; ask bartender for details".

He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". The drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. The bartender says "if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step...
The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an alligator with a sore tooth. If you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three...
Those stairs next to the door go up to an eighty year old hooker's apartment. She has never been satisfied by any man. If you can satisfy her, you win the money!"

The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. He belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. He orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for a few minutes and then total silence. Five minutes later, the drunk walks out of the room bloody, clothes shredded. He orders another double, drinks it and says "o.k., where's the hooker with the sore tooth?".

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:55 pm

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:59 pm

OK. Here's my last one for the day.

The manager of a local bar was so sure that his bouncer was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.

The challenge was that the bouncer would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.

Over the years many people had tried this: truck drivers, weightlifters, karate masters, and all had failed. Then one day this geeky little fella with heavy black rimmed glasses came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge.

After the laughter had subsided, the manager said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so the bouncer picked up a lemon and started squeezing. Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar!

Everyone looked on in amazement as the manager handed over the prize and asked "What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a lumberjack, weightlifter, what?" "No" the man replied, "I work for the IRS."

Goodnight, folks!

Have a good weekend!

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:18 pm

mereth wrote:

Red Sunflower · Post by **Red Sunflower** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:48 pm

Titwi I almost just peed a little laughing too hard, Someone should give that guy credit for his creativity.

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:54 pm

hehehe... I like Jokes and Beers and Smores Night!.............

Beer Warning Labels

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
the same boring story over and over again until your friends
want to smash your head in.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
4:00 AM.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what happened to your pants.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary (whose
species and/or name you can't remember).

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and knees.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really,
really big guy named Chuck.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing with you.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in
the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large)
gaps of time may seem to disappear.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may actually cause
pregnancy.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:56 pm

Hi yalll what ya up too?

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:59 pm

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:01 pm

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?t=1576

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:13 pm

yea, ya got a point, Fishy......
I guess we should keep it to one liners..... (But!...with cocktails)...... otherwise it's just another duplicate thread.......

A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts"

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:14 pm

wheres my spoon screw the chips!

we'll be there in 2.5 hours!

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:19 pm

Ok just looked outside...it may take us longer then that!
well it might take us, sobering up and thinking about it after the storms hit!

Ok, Tis a wonderful night in the renoites wonderful nite in the renoites...wont you be mine? wont you be mine? wont you be my neighbor!

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:22 pm

OK...

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:24 pm

ok screw it were not gonna make it cause cocktail number#4 says so...its says ITS NOT DRIVING...hahahaa funny cocktail!

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:25 pm

how bout espresso cannon some this way...oh WAIT....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW never mind!

plus tomorrow were playing with a jack hammer! wooo hoooo

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:26 pm

OK ....funny cocktail

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:28 pm

Oh cocktail #4 is a funny mother fucker...say it wants to step out into the workshop for a smogie smogie...he is a funny little guy! ok, Ill indulge him! back in 3 minutes!

and a poof of green smoke come in from under the bar wall flap.....

MozyBonz · Post by **MozyBonz** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:31 pm

funny cocktail

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:42 pm

Oh it gets better you shouldve heard the shit it was talking out in the workshop...HAHAHAHAHAAA

we're better now! hehehee
I introduced him to cocktail number#5 their havin a real good time...but we all know cocktail #5 is...he's the funniest of the bunch!