your stupid joke here

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Perpetual Burn
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Perpetual Burn » Sat Jun 02, 2018 8:21 pm

A Japanese man was on vacation in America. He decided to play a round of golf. When he tees off, he slices the ball badly.

Frustrated, he yells, "Cheese and rice!"

The Americans waiting behind him laugh a little confused and ask, "What did you say?"

The Japanese man responds, "What you no know you own God?!"
Funfinity manifeats Mettatacular pHazes
Dancipate white hazes of Esplenadazes
SwimInfinite Dust as Defaultia lusts
Unpossibility reigns nonlimited mindbusts
Rollbliterate ego ~n~ drop dosasses, Monases
Spuntaneous artKarmaval ~ Burn Bright All

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:13 pm

People laughed when I said I'd be funny when I grew up.

Well their not laughing now.....HA!!!
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TT120
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by TT120 » Sat Aug 18, 2018 10:33 pm

I had a hard time finding this.

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Perpetual Burn
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Perpetual Burn » Fri Aug 24, 2018 7:30 pm

BREAKING NEWS;

Ellen DeGeneres was found face down in Rikki Lake.
Funfinity manifeats Mettatacular pHazes
Dancipate white hazes of Esplenadazes
SwimInfinite Dust as Defaultia lusts
Unpossibility reigns nonlimited mindbusts
Rollbliterate ego ~n~ drop dosasses, Monases
Spuntaneous artKarmaval ~ Burn Bright All

Guard Dawg
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Guard Dawg » Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:08 am

Perpetual Burn wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 8:21 pm
A Japanese man was on vacation in America. He decided to play a round of golf. When he tees off, he slices the ball badly.

Frustrated, he yells, "Cheese and rice!"

The Americans waiting behind him laugh a little confused and ask, "What did you say?"

The Japanese man responds, "What you no know you own God?!"
Okay, In accordance with title 5 of the California Education Code, I am certified learning disabled, short bus rider.

I didn't get the punch line?
Be who you are, say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind—Dr. Suess

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Perpetual Burn
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Perpetual Burn » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:19 pm

Why don't you want to be a dick?

Because your closest friends are a couple of nuts and an asshole... and your best friend is a cunt.

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Funfinity manifeats Mettatacular pHazes
Dancipate white hazes of Esplenadazes
SwimInfinite Dust as Defaultia lusts
Unpossibility reigns nonlimited mindbusts
Rollbliterate ego ~n~ drop dosasses, Monases
Spuntaneous artKarmaval ~ Burn Bright All

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Perpetual Burn
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Perpetual Burn » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:23 pm

Guard Dawg wrote:
Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:08 am
Perpetual Burn wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 8:21 pm
A Japanese man was on vacation in America. He decided to play a round of golf. When he tees off, he slices the ball badly.

Frustrated, he yells, "Cheese and rice!"

The Americans waiting behind him laugh a little confused and ask, "What did you say?"

The Japanese man responds, "What you no know you own God?!"
Okay, In accordance with title 5 of the California Education Code, I am certified learning disabled, short bus rider.

I didn't get the punch line?
Lolz...

When he yelled "Cheese and rice!" He was trying to say Jesus Christ...

Hope that helps... or I'll try to find you a shorter bus. :P
Funfinity manifeats Mettatacular pHazes
Dancipate white hazes of Esplenadazes
SwimInfinite Dust as Defaultia lusts
Unpossibility reigns nonlimited mindbusts
Rollbliterate ego ~n~ drop dosasses, Monases
Spuntaneous artKarmaval ~ Burn Bright All

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Thu Dec 20, 2018 5:15 am

i really like the new temple design, it’s definitely a New Direction.
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"Magic Fish Scaler"

Post by Meat Hunter » Thu Dec 20, 2018 9:38 am

A local outdoor retailer advertised a "Magic Fish Scaler".

I called and asked the customer service representative if they knew where I could catch some "Magic Fish".
Specializing in Calibrating Windsocks -- Any where, Any Time, and Any elevation.

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Mon Jan 07, 2019 5:35 am

26EFEBBA-786E-4B60-9D25-88863A67B6A7.jpeg
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tatonka
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by tatonka » Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:08 am

Have not had sex in so long , I put on flip-flops just to remember the sound :)
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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:40 am

Waiter: "Would you like a drink?"

Jesus: "Water is fine."

Jesus: [looks directly into camera]
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:33 am

With Canoe it's not a question of spit or swallow...………………………...it's sink or swim!!!
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"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Mon Jan 07, 2019 2:45 pm

Or paddle...
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Tue Jan 08, 2019 4:55 am

I was told that it would be helpful to write letters to everyone who has wronged me, then burn them.

That worked really well...………………………..but what do I do with all these letters??? :twisted:
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:55 am

15C8F559-030F-4A69-8889-7E0EFC29A001.jpeg
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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Tue Jan 15, 2019 5:14 am

DC6C8E03-400D-49DC-8E91-E0577A6DEAB6.jpeg
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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Wed Jan 16, 2019 5:32 am

nq190116.gif

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"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Jan 20, 2019 3:40 am

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off by now!!!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Perpetual Burn » Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:16 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:
Tue Jan 15, 2019 5:14 am
DC6C8E03-400D-49DC-8E91-E0577A6DEAB6.jpeg


McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King.
Funfinity manifeats Mettatacular pHazes
Dancipate white hazes of Esplenadazes
SwimInfinite Dust as Defaultia lusts
Unpossibility reigns nonlimited mindbusts
Rollbliterate ego ~n~ drop dosasses, Monases
Spuntaneous artKarmaval ~ Burn Bright All

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:15 am

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Sat Feb 09, 2019 7:36 pm

"I thought I was in love with Okra, but it turns out it was really her sister Gravy. And when Gravy brings her friend French Fries..."
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Perpetual Burn
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Perpetual Burn » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:45 pm

Image
Funfinity manifeats Mettatacular pHazes
Dancipate white hazes of Esplenadazes
SwimInfinite Dust as Defaultia lusts
Unpossibility reigns nonlimited mindbusts
Rollbliterate ego ~n~ drop dosasses, Monases
Spuntaneous artKarmaval ~ Burn Bright All

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Asherbeez » Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:51 am

A man sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As he's waiting he hears a small voice, "Nice shirt." He looks around, but doesn't see anyone else aside from the tender at the far end of the bar.

"Great tie," The voice says again. Confused the man continues to look around.

"Wow, you're handsome," the little voice adds just as the bartender comes back with the man's drink.

"Am I going crazy or am I hearing voices," the man asks the bartender with an uncomfortable chuckle.

"Oh," the bartender says, nodding at the bowl by the man's elbow, "It's the peanuts, they're complimentary."
Dancing is a state of mind and may not even involve movement at all.
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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:05 pm

You know those kids that grew up thinking they had imaginary friends?

With facebook they have 100s!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:
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"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by DoctorIknow » Tue Feb 26, 2019 5:15 am

Mail order brides were popular in the Old West in the United States.

After much letter writing back and forth, the bride to be arrived at the train station in Blacks Fork, Utah.
The husband (Joe) to be was waiting with his horse and carriage to bring his future wife to his home.
He ran a successful cattle ranch and lived quite a ways from town.

They rode together silently, and about 5 miles into the ride, the horse pulling the carriage stumbled and fell.
Joe went to the horse, and compassionately helped him stand up, held the horses head in his hands, looked in his eyes and said : “That’s one.”

Forty minutes later, the horse stumbled again. Again, Joe lovingly helped the horse up, looked in his eyes and said : “That’s two.”

Then again, very near the ranch, the horse stumbled and fell.

Joe removed the harness, reins, and shot the horse dead.

The wife to be screamed out: “Why did you do that to that beautiful horse?”
Joe answered: “That’s one.”

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by unjonharley » Tue Feb 26, 2019 5:47 pm

The cow does not give milk ...... Is that a milk dud or an utter failure ???
I'm the contraptioneer your mother warned you about.

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ygmir
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by ygmir » Thu Feb 28, 2019 7:45 am

unjonharley wrote:
Tue Feb 26, 2019 5:47 pm
The cow does not give milk ...... Is that a milk dud or an utter failure ???
if jumping over a barb wire fence, it could be udder destruction...
YGMIR

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thnkfl
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by thnkfl » Fri Mar 01, 2019 2:01 pm

"DO NOT TOUCH" must be the scariest thing to read in braille.
Make it, enjoy it, let it go.

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Mar 03, 2019 5:58 am

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"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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