Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet

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decoverite
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Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet

Post by decoverite » Mon Aug 24, 2009 2:23 pm

Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet is Burning Man's leading provider of low-cost, high-quality soulmates since 1998. We offer quality name brand and private-label soulmates at substantially lower prices than can be found through conventional wholesale sources.

The Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet is a membership-only store. Membership applications are available in Lustre Village at 2:30 and Esplanade between the hours of 11am and 5pm Tuesday through Saturday. To qualify for membership, customers must bring a "Soulmate-Compatible" friend to trade (someone of the opposite gender) so we can keep our soulmate stock in balance. There are no other membership fees, but but we're always willing to accept food, massage, good stories, magic tricks, cocktails with funny names, and ballpoint pens.

"Costco Soulmate Trading outlet is a customer-focused operation," says CEO and founder Rico. "We eagerly await customer success stories like bliss hippies crawling over the playa waiting for donations of food and water. We live for tales of Costco marriages, great friendships, and fortuitous Costco meetings." So if you're especially pleased with your soulmate, please return together to our store location so we can take your picture and post it on our store's Facebook page.

Looking for employment on playa? Costco holds daily volunteer training sessions at 10:30 am. Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, gender, age, or being Canadian.
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Ugly Dougly
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:38 pm

Ah, I see. Bring a friend, take a friend.

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decoverite
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Post by decoverite » Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:43 pm

Or bring an enemy/stranger/your mom. We're not picky about who you trade so long as you help us maintain gender balance. Because you know what happens if we don't? EVERYBODY GETS A DUDE FOR A SOULMATE.
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Ugly Dougly
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:30 pm

Some people are looking for dudes. (not me.)
But yeah, I get it. Chicken soup versus beef stew. Something for everyone.

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Post by Slutsy_Goat » Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:45 pm

What if I'm seeking a brand-name gay soulmate? Does your warehouse carry those? If so, should I bring another gay fella when I apply for membership or should I bring a woman?

....Aw heck, if you only do male/female matches, I guess I'll take that too. I'm not picky...

I'm also hoping to pick-up a 5-gallon jar of mayonaise. Hope you've got it in stock this year!

malechicago
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Gay Soul Mate

Post by malechicago » Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:22 pm

I too am looking for a gay male... is that an option at your camp??

If so, same question: can I bring one of my lovely ladies?
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Post by Slutsy_Goat » Wed Aug 26, 2009 2:45 pm

Aw heck, malechicago, you and I should just hook-up.

Yay! Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet has made its first homo match.... and we're not even out on the playa yet!

:wink:

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Ugly Dougly
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Wed Aug 26, 2009 3:13 pm

I am holding out for the exact specifications from the Alex Gray painting.

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cunfuzelled
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Post by cunfuzelled » Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:36 pm

i am asexual. i am constantly looking for my asexual soulmate but every time i find someone who sais they may be able to be compatible with my asexuality they are not. they just want sex to be longer, beter, and more often. i am a man too. this makes it realy hard. will you have any asexual soulmates to trade?

i am being 100% honest too!!!

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Ugly Dougly
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:51 am

cunfuzelled wrote:i am asexual. i am constantly looking for my asexual soulmate but every time i find someone who sais they may be able to be compatible with my asexuality they are not. they just want sex to be longer, beter, and more often. i am a man too. this makes it realy hard. will you have any asexual soulmates to trade?

i am being 100% honest too!!!

The oracle says that you will find an abundance of non-sex on the playa, if you look for it carefully and keep your heart pure.

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cunfuzelled
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Post by cunfuzelled » Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:37 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:
cunfuzelled wrote:i am asexual. i am constantly looking for my asexual soulmate but every time i find someone who sais they may be able to be compatible with my asexuality they are not. they just want sex to be longer, beter, and more often. i am a man too. this makes it realy hard. will you have any asexual soulmates to trade?

i am being 100% honest too!!!

The oracle says that you will find an abundance of non-sex on the playa, if you look for it carefully and keep your heart pure.
last year i went by active theme camp/artcamp time this year i am going by playa time so if playa time allows me to keep my heart pure maby i will have the time to apear at soulmate camp and look for an asexual soulunmate (because mating is not necisary)

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