Experiences And Lessons Learned By A Virgin Burner

[JamesDeane]

Well I finally got to burning man this year, after missing it the last 2 years. I had heard so much from friends that have gone, and alot of it sounded like BS. Well, I was pleasently suprised to have all my expectations not only met, but exceeded!

The first thing I felt when I arrived through the gates was a sense of being overwhelmed. I arrived at 11:00pm Tuesday night, to find the playa was alive and breathing... hard. Even at night I was able to see sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll on every corner. People dressed as aliens, freaks, angels, devils... you name it, I saw it. And I hadn't even got to my host Theme Camp - CAMP GALAVANT! I'm sure you have heard of them, if not - I'm sure you saw the "Good Ship Nevada" cruising the playa with the 75 foot mast boasting 3 large flags. We even made it into the San Fransisco Chronicle! Anyway...

Lesson 1: (ARRIVAL)

Arrive in the daytime if possible. Even with a map, and good directional skills it was extremely difficult to find my theme camp. Many people were very irritated that I was driving around 2:30 and Mercury more then 1 time. Finally I parked in an open space off the road and took to the streets on foot. I was amazed at how large the city blocks were, and found Camp Galavant 100 yards from 2:30 and Mecury.

Lesson 2: (GIFTING?)

A gifting society sounds great, and it is. But, you must realize that not everybody is going to rush up and gift things to you for no reason. Do not expect anything from anyone. If you have friends, stick with them until you are comfortable and adjusted - which by the way may never happen. Bring gifts of your own, and give them to people that show you kindness. Do not give them to just any girl who is topless. Use your gifts wisely, for a time may come near the end of the event when you wish you had that gift for a new friend you made, but you gave it away to a stranger while you were wandering around drunk, stoned or whatever.

Lesson 3: (THEME CAMP ETIQUETTE)

If you are fortunant enough to be invited to a theme camp, remember that you are a guest. After being there for a few days I felt pretty comfortable with everybody. But on Saturday, just after the burn, I went back to camp. I decided to move the burn barrel about 10 feet closer to my van. Nobody was there, and it had been placed there a few nights before. Well, when the locals returned, some were extremely pissed off that I had moved the burn barrel. One so much as to lecture me on fire safety etc... (Even though I was the one who put the couch out after it had caught on fire from the unattended burn barrel the night before) I apologized and offered to put it back, but the damage was done. The bad part was that I was peeking on my mushroom high, and it really brought me down hard - so I just wasted the high and went to bed. Main point: If it's not yours or you didn't bring it - DON'T FUCK WITH IT!

Lesson 4: (NAKED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE)

Just because girls (and guys) are walking around naked does not mean they want to sleep with you! Back off and give them the same courtesy as to someone who is fully clothed! Obviously the girl wants attention, but be a gentleman and you may be suprised by their reaction. Alot of guys flock to these girls, gifting, offering refreshment etc - anything to get them to stay around. Remember that there are plenty of fish in the dry seabed, and this is not the only naked girl (or guy) that you are going to see.

Lesson 5: (COME PREPARED)

Ok, this is the last lesson I learned. Bring everything you think you will need, then bring way more then that. Bring goggles and a dust mask or bandana for the dust storms. Bring lotion for your cracking hands and feet. Bring alot of water, then actually drink some! I drank more beer then water, and paid the price with a low energy level, dehydration, and grumpiness. Nobody wants to cheer you up when your grumpy - they are having the time of their lives! If you get into a negative mode you will find people gravatating away from you. This is a real bummer, and the only person you can blame is yourself!


Well, I feel better having said all that. I will end with something a very special girl told me one night, while I was drinking Red Wine by the fireside....

"I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CHICAGO GIRLS"