Chef from Bay Area...Finally Ready

[shawndeesf]

Hello, my name is Shawndee and I am a complicated person. I do not think complicated is always bad, but I have to admit I have allowed life's pleasures kinda squash my spirit. Long story short - Childhood: Trauma, Youth: Trauma - Ill towards myself and bad choices, Older-Youth: Found joy in music and freedom from my Trauma, Young-Adult: Chose children/family life over artistically-free life, Adult: Succumbed to my choices (except for those children that where my reason for living), Still-Adult: Fixed all that Trauma, made peace with bad choices, learned to love myself, raised amazingly beautiful and artistic children that will never make the same mistakes as me, Current-Adult: Kids are safe and creating their own lives, and I realize I sacrificed so much due to my own borders - I do not believe in Age, I believe in wisdom and mind-over-matter, I have done SO much to lift all the borders in mine and my kids lives all these years, and we live in a different reality - but the reality of the world is still so heavily real. I NEED outlets like I used to have, I need freedom that I used to allow myself, I need to surround myself around people I admire and respect and am inspired by. I ache for some living beings that are not beat down by life. I ache for the young me that was so full of hope and life - but without the trauma that stopped me from being ME. I want to be my FULL me again, and I want to take the steps that get me there...Burning-man has been that porthole I knew was there and was too scared to jump into, but I am ready now. I am ready to try and let go of all the shit I have allowed in...

[Ratty]

Welcome Shawndeesf, Here's your first eplaya hug. (((Shawndeesf))) Join the East Bay Burners. Meetings once a month plus endless interesting projects. It will get you 'jump started'. https://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbayburners/

[trilobyte]

Welcome aboard, Shawn! I'm sorry to hear about the trauma, but glad to hear you seem to be in a better place and heading in the right direction. Burning Man's a pretty magical place, and serves as a great canvas for you to do exactly that... to let things go and re-imagine yourself as anything and anyone you want to be.

[Elderberry]

Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

[tamarakay]

So many of us have overcome our traumas with art. Welcome.