do you think i'm oversexed?

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:14 pm

hey i also realize this is my own hot box talking. i'm not neccessarily going to go out and break the contract we have out of sheer horniness.

i just really like sexual intercourse.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:18 pm

princess strych-9 wrote:no horses, no dogs. havn't taught the cats how to perform cunillingus.

here's the thing that bugs me: my boy and i have an open relationship and a contract that limits me from doing certain things. i'm considering throwing the contract out the window.

your thoughts?

My socialogy professor was shaped like a bowling ball and had a toothless lapdog that she kept in class. But I digress. It might be time to renegotiate.

ramen · Post by **ramen** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:19 pm

princess strych-9 wrote:here's the thing that bugs me: my boy and i have an open relationship and a contract that limits me from doing certain things. i'm considering throwing the contract out the window.

your thoughts?

fuck anything that moves if you want, just don't expect people to hang around while you do so. methinks the hardwiring doesn't like it too much

footloose and fancy free? no problem. doesn't work in 'relationship' is all.

Contracts? Why not just get married and get the real deal.

Zona · Post by **Zona** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:19 pm

Flux, you are so right. I wish more people considered that path. World pain would be so much reduced.
Zona

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:23 pm

actually, we're getting married in less than five weeks.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:23 pm

But I digress.

<snort>

attydog · Post by **attydog** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:29 pm

Open relationships are bulllshit.
They just don't work. Monogamy, throwing out the gausian highs and lows, is THE ONLY system of it's kind to survive the x thousands of years of human evolution. People are quick to point out that our reptilian brains want to fuck everything in site with a colorful tail feather, but fall short explaining why time after time, commune after commune, movement after movement, 'open' relationships fail.
you're definitely not oversexed from what I know of you which is seriously next to nothing, but.....open relationships are bullshit.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:30 pm

lydia, is it my imagination or is your avatar freaking out?

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:33 pm

attydog wrote:Open relationships are bulllshit..

they certainly aren't for everyone.

Ivy · Post by **Ivy** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:36 pm

Open relationships are bulllshit.

Actually, I'm gonna one-up you and say relationships are bullshit.

I mean, human beings are constantly driven to violence and hatred towards one another. Even if open relationships are bullshit, as you claim, monogamy ain't got much going for it either, with today's divorce rates. People are constantly rude, jealous, insecure, mean, racist, homophobic, etc. etc. How can we ever have any sort of relationships?

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:37 pm

attydog wrote:Open relationships are bulllshit. They just don't work.

Oh shit, that's terrible news! My wife is going to be seriously bummed, too, as will her boyfriends and my girlfriends.

ramen · Post by **ramen** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:40 pm

princess strych-9 wrote:actually, we're getting married in less than five weeks.

so, what are the contract terms?

good luck doing the OR thing in a marriage. never seen it done successfully.

despite the pain of unfulfilled desire (meaning you and every other desirable female on this ball of wax), and the difficulties of maintaining a monogamous marriage, I wouldn't give up my female for all the cupcakes on the planet on a platter.

of course, I'm not rich, famous and getting offered pussy on a platter either, but still, best thing in my life so far.

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:41 pm

Ivy wrote:Actually, I'm gonna one-up you and say relationships are bullshit.

Now that I can agree with. Relationships don't work, any more than life works, so we all just muddle through as best we can.

Oscar Wilde wrote:We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

ramen · Post by **ramen** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:42 pm

Flux wrote:
attydog wrote:Open relationships are bulllshit. They just don't work.
Oh shit, that's terrible news! My wife is going to be seriously bummed, too, as will her boyfriends and my girlfriends.

This works for you? or just pulling our chains?

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:44 pm

ramen wrote:good luck doing the OR thing in a marriage. never seen it done successfully.

I have. Seen it, that is. And done it. And I know others who have, as well. It's not easy, and it's not for everyone, but it can be done.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:45 pm

Ivy wrote:
Open relationships are bulllshit.
Actually, I'm gonna one-up you and say relationships are bullshit.

I mean, human beings are constantly driven to violence and hatred towards one another. Even if open relationships are bullshit, as you claim, monogamy ain't got much going for it either, with today's divorce rates. People are constantly rude, jealous, insecure, mean, racist, homophobic, etc. etc. How can we ever have any sort of relationships?

I'm beginning to think:
Most of the people in the world are just psychopaths.
That Big Pharma will rule the world through anti-depressants and other controls.
That Zero Population Growth might be a good idea despite 33 years of wanting kids of my own.
That WWE Wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin actually had a good quote: DTA: Don't Trust Anything (or anyone). Ok, he has a second quote....gimme another fucking beer, dammit.

Go to general discussion and you'll see my rants about relationships...and being stalked by a crazed ex neighbor who drove 600 miles to propose marriage and we only went bar hopping with friends once...no dating, and now she wants marriage and kids NOW.... and more drama than you could ever imagine! (I wanna marry you now, you don't need a ring, and if you sleep with me I'll have kids by June 18th....yes, this unfortunately is true)

Relationships for the most part totally fucking suck. And saying their bullshit is still being too nice.

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:45 pm

ramen wrote:This works for you? or just pulling our chains?

Yep, it sure does! No chain-pulling at all.

Lust4Life · Post by **Lust4Life** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:39 pm

Princess S? Subsurface or skipped to the next pond?

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:48 pm

That Big Pharma will rule the world through anti-depressants and other controls.

Thank the One Who Lies Behind It All and Adbusters magazine that I weaned myself off that shit. I wiped my ass with my last Prozac prescription.

Now you just get the unfiltered version of Badger.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 10:50 pm

Infrared Rover wrote:Princess S? Subsurface or skipped to the next pond?

here i am.

PJ · Post by PJ » Wed Sep 17, 2003 5:39 am

ramen wrote:...I'm not rich, famous and getting offered pussy on a platter...

A true gentleman always pre-warms the platter.

III · Post by **III** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:12 am

princess:

if you're having trouble sticking to your current contract, do you really think it's wise to enter into a more serious one in 5 weeks?

it may just be cold feet, or it may be your subconcious trying to tell you something you don't want to admit. i don't believe relationships are doomed, even open ones. but i don't believe they're all destined to succeed either.

i'm thinking in this case, the "i need this" urge may be your subconcious way of telling you that you're not really ready for a serious commitment. after all, one of the first things i learned after hitting puberty is that, as much as you might want it, not having sex really won't kill you. curtailing it is a matter of concious choice, not inevitable biological impulse. and that conscious choice, coupled with the knowledge of how it will affect your partner, will tell you how serious your feelings for him are.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:16 am

III wrote:princess:

if you're having trouble sticking to your current contract, do you really think it's wise to enter into a more serious one in 5 weeks?

i wouldn't say i'm having trouble, per se. just thinkin.

it may just be cold feet, or it may be your subconcious trying to tell you something you don't want to admit. and i don't believe relationships are doomed, even open ones.

but i'm thinking in this case, the "i need this" urge may be your subconcious way of telling you that you're not really ready for a serious commitment. after all, one of the first things i learned after hitting puberty is that, as much as you might want it, not having sex really won't kill you. curtailing it is a matter of concious choice, not inevitable biological impulse. adn that conscious choice, coupled with the knowledge of how it will affect your partner, will tell you how serious your feelings for him are.

and i certainly don't need anything. i'm one of the most blessed people i know. can't blame a gal for fantasizing.

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:52 am

and i certainly don't need anything. i'm one of the most blessed people i know. can't blame a gal for fantasizing.

you're right...fantasy is perfectly o.k.. Part of marriage is compromise tho(I know you've heard this) and really marriage is the ultimate way of saying "you're it for me"...my husband and I have a monogamous(sp?) relationship and I AM oversexed by many people's standards...

The point is (yes, I really do have one) you are marrying this guy, you love him, be happy with that...

And keep your fantasy life very active!

Tiara · Post by **Tiara** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:00 pm

Badger wrote:
Now you just get the unfiltered version of Badger.

That's why we love you so much!

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:55 pm

princess strych-9 wrote:lydia, is it my imagination or is your avatar freaking out?

I think we were all promised flashbacks...

Borris · Post by **Borris** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 2:08 pm

attydog wrote:Open relationships are bulllshit.
They just don't work. Monogamy, throwing out the gausian highs and lows, is THE ONLY system of it's kind to survive the x thousands of years of human evolution.

Hey... Unilatteral Polygamy (where the wife has no say about the husband taking more wifes in) has worked for 14 centuries in Islam...

sugarlarry · Post by **sugarlarry** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 4:59 pm

"Open relationships are bulllshit. "

I dunno about that. For you maybe, but not for millions of people who manage to negotiate sex with people other then their partners with great success. There are tons of ways to do this, and a lot of them are undoubtably unhealthy, but alot of them work quite well.

I totally advocate this lifestyle, BUT I'm frequently stunned by how badly some people approach it. There are two documentaries which feature people who just drive me nuts. One is called "When Two Won't Do", and deals with the rather evil machinations of a Poly woman. Truly a twisted tale. The other is by the guys who did "Taxicab confessions". It features three groups of people. One couple is very successful, another is not so successful, and the last group is a 3some where-in each person involved needs a solid kick in the ass for their various fuck-upperies.

Anyhoo I'd check out two books. One is the Ethical Slut. It's not bad, but the one I really enjoyed is called The Lifestyle. This is primarily about swingers, but he does look into various swinger cultures, and poly as well. He approaches the issues as a non-swinger himself, but seems to come to the conclusion that we'd all be a lot happier fucking people to whom we are not married. So long as everyone is cool with it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 8:11 pm

fuck-upperies!

Stormy · Post by **Stormy** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 1:31 am

I've tried both, poly and monogamy. I'm exponentially happier in my current monogamous relationship. Problem is that I've only found one happy long-term poly couple over all of these years. Sadly I know the authors of many of the books on open lifestyles and I can say that I am not impressed with those relationships.

do you think i'm oversexed?

Yes

Still here?

Re: Still here?

Poly