Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

[Elliot]

Kairielise, On 'Spark' you have a most beautiful avatar. (She's in the shower wearing nothing but jig-saw puzzle pieces). You are gorgeous. Please add an avatar here.

That's all. carry on...

Lol thanks. That was my Halloween costume from 2008. Been meaning to put it up but I haven't gotten around to resizing it.

On that note.... Anyone who would like help with cropping and resizing a photo into a nice "portrait" avatar, I would be happy to do it. Just PM me.

[BBadger]

You just want the high-res version

[Elliot]

You just want the high-res version

The " " suggests there is a joke here. But quite seriously, you are correct -- the larger the file the better if it needs to be cropped a lot.

[Elliot]

Here’s an example of what can be done.

This original photo measures 2736 x 3648 pixels. (I resized it to only 15% of original so that it would fit on ePlaya):



I did two things to the original. I cropped it right down to only my face, which turned out just right at 150x150 pixels. And I brightened the shadow on the face.


And it wound up like this:




This can be done with a lot of pictures that you may not think are usable for an avatar. This example is "pushing it -- the avatar is rather grainy. But even this could serve in a pinch.

It is even possible to remove something in the picture, such as your brother-in-law. Here I have removed the hat-cord in the lower right corner, just to demonstrate:

[BBadger]

Oh I know what you're capable of, but being an avatar cropping service means you get access to all the remainder of the photo, which might even be like the one you posted above.

On another note, I feel kind of weird admitting that I'm disappointed seeing you striking the same pose as the statue, but not wearing the same amount of clothing -- especially given your clothing preferences.

[Elliot]

Oh I know what you're capable of, but being an avatar cropping service means you get access to all the remainder of the photo, which might even be like the one you posted above.

On another note, I feel kind of weird admitting that I'm disappointed seeing you striking the same pose as the statue, but not wearing the same amount of clothing -- especially given your clothing preferences.

Behold, ye disappointed dastard of high mouth and low faith!

[Patsh]

Elliot! You crack me up!


*scrounges for screen wipes*

[BBadger]

Well there's a checkmark on my bucket list!

[Elliot]

Well there's a checkmark on my bucket list!

Well, now I know you are female.
But you missed the pictures from this year, didn't you.

[reznorock]

I have to say I really enjoyed the original post Ive been spending a fair amount of time over the years trying to not be quite as shy and introverted etc. it still happens, I have a difficult time initiating conversation etc. it gets a lot easier as I get to know a person.

Lot of good advice nonetheless.I read this post my first day on these forums, it's basically what made my try to put some effort in meeting other burners before next BM.

[unitivity]

I remember talking to myself about this once but i was not there. rely on what you look out of not what you look into.
science is always respected. tell the truth, be honest, the only thing that counts is adding the sub-fractions of the unit. Keep on top of the bottom.

Make everything one.

love,

being shy is death, just think after you die you do not have chance to do what you want. want what is good, do not rely on others to be alive.

some people tripping must talk to each other. They are lost people looking for themselves. you are what ever you think so think good, great, fun, love, watch hard.

The world will follow you, use your shyness to lead the world into happiness, liberation, bringing happiness to children, to make a new world

a world that makes all happy. freedom to the world, take all the war money and give it away to the world to live. There is enough to go around now.

Technology makes Malthus and Darwin wrong. The whole world needs you to tell it to give everything to everyone for there is enough to go around now.

Heaven on earth is real now, thousands of year old ideas cause us to kill each other, they are alright to think, but not kill for, let the new world live. don't be shy make a new world for it is only a way of thinking before we die, to change it and leave the change of total world happiness as the direction to think. Science

[unitivity]

It occurred to me. that the 69,000 people of burning man, could change the whole world if they got behind one idea that would be the best idea to do so.

It is the fruit of the evolution of humans at its best on earth to do what is best for the world and ask that it be done.

It would take a really obvious plan that really would work and if all the people at burning man understood they would all obviously agree on.

What is this agreement? I know that if all the people from burning man agreed on establishing the ideas of R. Buckminster Fuller's world game that the world would look at the designs for planet earth of the only planetary planner that ever lived and has died but leaving the plan to make the whole planet work for all humanity.

world game is the opposite of war games. I ask everyone from burning man to consider as one city on earth to vote to allow the plans for planet earth made by R. Buckminster Fuller to be considered by all humanity on earth to be used. He has designed a world electric system by sharing the transmissions over the north pole to add %25 more electricity to earth without adding any generators, just by sharing, to use the world map he invented so you can see all the data to plan the designs for one world sharing of the worlds resources, the geodesic dome for housing humanity with flying rental housing, world two way computers for education of the world, food designed to do more with less as a choice for all, without trespassing on any individual. The whole plan is there for the asking. I ask all people from burning man to not be shy and ask for the plan for earth by R. Buckiminster Fuller be put into reality. Please ask everyone to do this and make it a reason for the community to vote on asking the world. If burning man does this the whole world will see the path of the future and it could spark the real fire of the future for the modern world.

pray brave. Check out these 42 hours of video or google bucky, if you are shy try changing the world to cure it.

https://conversationswithbucky.pbworks. ... /FrontPage

[tatonka]

dance my friends

We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams.” ~Albert Einstein~

[HEATHER_INVICTUS]

Awesome let's do this! wooo!

[BurnerFinn]

I consider myself as a shy person. That's actually one of the reasons I'm planning to come to BM. Maybe I will learn to make new friends more easily due to this experience, who knows. I hope so.

My plan to "not be shy" in BM is to put myself into a position where it's not possible to be one --> pouring drinks to people in a bar! I'd love to join a camp with a bar and work there for most of the week. Let's hope I find one to work in...

People are usually very social in bars. It's a nice and familiar setup to meet strangers and strike up interesting conversations and hopefully make new friends. While doing that, I will hopefully be able to help other people in striking conversations with total strangers and make the best out of their BM experience.



...awesome thread btw, a lot of great advice!

[JohnnyT]

There are no such people like shy people on festivals! People are going to do something they would never consider doing outside a festival (Sauce: http://www.statista.com/statistics/2828 ... ingdom-uk/), doesn't matter if introvert or extroverts. Guess how many people have sex with strangers on festivals I expected it to be more

[Nastia]

Hey guys, I haven't been on here for a while... my first burn was 2013, missed last year, but will be back this year. I know this forum is infamous for its snarky comments but I really need your help!

I am crazy shy and bad at making the first move, in fact, that was my biggest problem last time... seeing everyone around me making connections and being too debilitatingly shy to even make eye contact.
I desperately want to make the most of my experience this time around but I fear that I have become even more entrenched in my 'resting bitch face' than I was two years ago. HELP!

[FIGJAM]

Buy a mask and pretend to be different personalities all week.

It will be good practice.

[VultureChow]

First moves are tough for me too. Things that I've found that help.

1) Volunteer - Ice shifts are great for making connections. Not just with your fellow volunteers, but also with customers.
2) Offer to help people set up- Is someone setting up a carport or tent nearby? Ask if they need a hand.
3)Pick one easy thing to offer people-Spray on sun blobk was awesome my first year. Noticed people standing in the ice line baking. Took out a can and walked up and down the line with it. Unplanned, but super fun.

I see people talk all the time about soul mates and deep spiritual connections they make with strangers out there. That has NEVER happened to me. Instead there are fun, sometimes baffling, interactions and conversations. Good friendships don't have to come from some mystical place, just the everyday interactions with the people around you.

BTW, stop by the Meet & Greet on Wednesday night. We'll work on that shyness.

[ygmir]

First moves are tough for me too. Things that I've found that help.

1) Volunteer - Ice shifts are great for making connections. Not just with your fellow volunteers, but also with customers.
2) Offer to help people set up- Is someone setting up a carport or tent nearby? Ask if they need a hand.
3)Pick one easy thing to offer people-Spray on sun blobk was awesome my first year. Noticed people standing in the ice line baking. Took out a can and walked up and down the line with it. Unplanned, but super fun.

I see people talk all the time about soul mates and deep spiritual connections they make with strangers out there. That has NEVER happened to me. Instead there are fun, sometimes baffling, interactions and conversations. Good friendships don't have to come from some mystical place, just the everyday interactions with the people around you.

BTW, stop by the Meet & Greet on Wednesday night. We'll work on that shyness.

What V.C. says.........and the MnG is super!!!

[Sham]

Dear Resting Bitch Face,

Your problem is very common for many people. How do you go into a crowded bar, or join a party and comfortably mingle with people you don't know? How do you go up to a perfect stranger and say something that is compelling enough to have them become your friend?

You could try some cliche' lines like "is this your first time here", "are you a Capricorn" or "you look like someone I dated when I was younger".

My best suggestion is to work on something that would help you become engaging. What can you offer that you make you more welcoming to a group of strangers?

An off the top of my head suggestion might be to bring a basket of small, prepackaged candy snacks. Possibly offer up some bottles of cold water. You could make some gift type items and open your interaction by given a unique, handmade gift.

The bottom line is that Burning Man is the place to address your apprehensions and fears---AND CONQUER THEM! Figure out what the issue is, and be creative with your solution.

I hope this helps a bit.

Sham....

[ygmir]

MnG hint:
the RV tour that Doc offers, will help you at least know him and those of us on web cams better.

[Nastia]

Thank you guys! that is really fantastic advice!
I never made it to the meet and greet because I felt like way too much of a burgin last time!
The sunscreen is a fantastic idea! I may just try that!
Last time I was insecure and pre-occupied about my connection with my partner, this time around I am very much more secure in that regard.... So i hope I can focus on my connection with others, and feel more at home in my own skin a little earlier than thursday night before the burn!

... oh and I lost all my "gifts" last time on the first day and found them all on the clean up day after the burn... so no more rookie mistakes I hope!

Thank you for your genuine advice!
Not even the playa is as fearsome as Eplaya can be!

[mudpuppy000]

I'm pretty shy myself. I find it difficult to just walk up to people I don't know and start talking to them. Volunteering, helping people out or just giving people complements about what they're wearing are a good way to initiate conversations. If you're in a camp that has a bar or something else they're giving away I highly recommend bar tending/working giving away whatever they're gifting. Everyone will come up to you and initiate conversations. The more you interact with random strangers the easier it gets.

[Sham]

An interesting note to this, many of the things I learned how to do at Burning Man as far as talking to strangers, I have utilized in business. I am much more at ease going up to someone I've never met and starting a conversation. I am no longer intimidated by doing this. Talking to Ygmir still scares me however.

[Nastia]

the fucked up thing is that people tell me that they find ME intimidating! So they don't think to come up and talk to me.
It works well with diverting unwanted attention in the default world... and i definitely use it to my advantage there...
But at Burning Man, it's hard to become the approachable/confidant in the approach person others find inviting.

[Elderberry]

I found getting old helps. I don't give a shit anymore and go up and talk to everybody (that I care to talk to, that is). Though I don't think you'll have enough time for that considering the burn is two months away.

Volunteering with ice camp (and making sure you are a cashier) is a great way to interact with people. I also thought that Lamp Lighters was a great way to connect with the community, but in a different way than ice camp. Oh, and greeters! That too would be perfect for you.

[Nastia]

I found getting old helps. I don't give a shit anymore and go up and talk to everybody (that I care to talk to, that is). Though I don't think you'll have enough time for that considering the burn is two months away.

Volunteering with ice camp (and making sure you are a cashier) is a great way to interact with people. I also thought that Lamp Lighters was a great way to connect with the community, but in a different way than ice camp. Oh, and greeters! That too would be perfect for you.

would you be kind enough to tell me if/how I can volunteer for ice camp (at the 9 o'clock area) at burning man? is that something I should figure out before I go? or can arrange once the week is in full swing?

S

[Elderberry]

The first thing they tell you to do is to fill out the volunteer form in your Burner Profile. Then they contact you when the schedule is posted for you to sign-up for. It's been my experience with ice camp (at least Arctica) that it is difficult if not impossible to sign-up on playa.

Greaters on the other hand, you can just show up. (at least that's what I have done in the past)

You can also get on the departments' email list too.

Click on this link:

http://burningman.org/?s=volunteering

[Akela]

Nastia, you mentioned having a secure relationship with a partner, who is presumably with you at the burn. That person is probably aware that you tend towards shyness but actively want to break out and interact and make connections with people. I recommend that you make it an early-week goal for the two of you to enter into situations together where you'll meet people (volunteering, helping neighbors set up, and offering gifts as others have suggested are all great ways to do so). Have you partner there for backup and encouragement, but don't depend on them as a crutch. Look at it as practice, becoming more comfortable out of your shell. Once you're more in the swing of the Burn, make it a goal to strike out on your own--maybe with some of the people you've met, or maybe into totally unknown social territory. Make your intentions clear to your partner before the Burn, so that they can support you in your goals and also won't feel like you're trying to ditch them once you're feeling more confident.

If you feel like the problem is that others are intimidated by you, focus on having fun. Dance, laugh, play. If you're smiling and joyful, other people will not be intimidated.

One thing that I really appreciate on playa are brief but emotional connections. These mostly happen to me at the Temple. Everyone has their own opinions about what the Temple is and should be, but for me it holds heavy significance. I'm not a spiritual, woo-woo, or overly open/emotional person, but it's the one place that breaks me down. I've placed tributes to lost loved ones there every year, and I mourn more deeply there than anywhere else. To be honest, I bawl uncontrollably (though thankfully it's usually quiet) in the Temple at least once a year. In that space, I have always found comfort from others, who are happy to give it. It usually starts with eye contact from across the crowd, often with someone else who has experienced loss or is feeling overwhelmed. One of us will approach the other, we'll hug, cry, sit for a while, and then talk. I open up in a lot of ways that I struggle to in default. I think that the Temple opens a lot of people up by making them feel exposed and vulnerable but at the same time that they are in a safe place, surrounded by good people who care and genuinely want to connect too. Even if I'm not sad, if I ever feel isolated or lonely at the Burn (which can definitely happen, regardless of how many people are around), that's where I go.