Bad Advice for Virgin Burners

[1durphul]

Please post some bad advice for virgin burners.

The playa will provide... you with water. Unless it doesn't in which case the following fact might be more relevant:

A full 40% of first time burners die from dehydration and exposure.

[Drawingablank]

Don't bring comfortable shoes - in fact stiletto boots that lace up to the thigh are recommended.

[VultureChow]

Bacon grease can act as an effective sunscreen.

[gaminwench]

You can totally live on beer, chips and MREs for the week.

[1durphul]

Bacon grease can act as an effective sunscreen.

How is this bad advice? You get to smell like bacon while you sizzle.

[1durphul]

Don't bring comfortable shoes - in fact stiletto boots that lace up to the thigh are recommended.

Stilettos are the only effective way to drive an art car.

[Drawingablank]

You can totally live on beer, chips and MREs for the week.

How is this bad advice? It's pretty close to what I live on there.

[VultureChow]

Bacon grease can act as an effective sunscreen.

How is this bad advice? You get to smell like bacon while you sizzle.

It's bad advice for the virgin

For the veteran, it's convenient to have your "long pig" pre-seasoned and cooked in event of a Condition Alpha.

[Lonesomebri]

Once you pass thru the gate, if someone hands you a beer while driving to camp, you are home brother !!!! Drink up !!!!!

[Lonesomebri]

The thorough ticketing process, and limited number people who know of the event, effectively screens out all sketchy untrustful people.

[Lonesomebri]

Once you produce your medical maryjane card, the joint Law Enforcement taskforce with the sniffing dogs will wave you through.

(FYI, a medi-card is probable cause at BRC)

[BeeWeeDee]

No one wants to know you, no one cares, so don't even bother trying to strike up a conversation. They are all crazy.

It's not THAT hot
It's not THAT cold
It's not THAT windy
It's not THAT dusty where you need much of anything. Go light.

There is not much to see or do or much fun so bring a book.

[1durphul]

The poolside cabanas sure are nice, however their drink menu has outrageous prices. Definitely BYOB when you head to the pool.

[Nipple]

Photograph EVERYTHING.

[jneilvindy]

As soon as you turn off the highway pass all those slow moving/sitting still fools and drive right up the greeters!

[misfit]

leave your psyc meds at home, you won't need them.

forget birth control, ESD supplies the morning after pill.

[Chowski]

It's totally bad karma to hoard your ecstacy. You should definitely give the Gift of a couple hits to those cool kids who are walking from group to group asking where they can buy some outside Camp Thwomp Thwomp's Wednesday Sunrise Soiree, especially if they ask you to trade some of yours for some of theirs!

Because Gifting!

[FIGJAM]

You can only cum if you're going to participate!!!

[skippy3k]

It's becoming so brightly lit now with everyone riding around on bikes covered in EL wire that you tend to blend in and get lost. Now the trend is to use NO lights at all. This way you will be the one dark object amidst a sea of lights, and everyone will now be able to pick you out in a crowd and not run into you.

[Lonesomebri]

You can save an awful lot of money on tickets and a vehicle pass if you simply walk in to Black Rock City from the east.
May even save money on future life expenses, as your dehydrated body may end up laying out in the desert feeding the ravens and crows.

[jneilvindy]

If your bf, gf, husband, wife or date start freaking out, having a bad time and feels overwhelmed you should immediately leave their lame @ss and go find somone with a much better attitude!

[remi]

Wear the biggest, fanciest headdress you can find... other then that.. don't bring anything other then your credit card.

[tatonka]

Its so dry out there you dont need any deoderant .

[jneilvindy]

Don't bother bringing a bike. there's plenty of them laying all over the place.

[Lonesomebri]

On exit, after the Burns, do you really want to use those porta potties again? No. Hold it until you get to the luxurious lavatories of Reno.

[caffeineslinger]

Buy your ticket at the gate to avoid the service charge.

[Meat Hunter]

If you skydive in, you do not need a ticket or a vehicle pass -- that is the truth.

There is a skydiving camp set-up just for those who jump in next to the airport that will supply everything that you will need (including showers and booze) FOR FREE and after the event, they will also provide free transportation back to Reno.

[some seeing eye]

Sell your ticket to a veteran burner because it will be better next year.

[Ano]

Hit up Center Camp for the best tacos on Playa.

[forty_eight]

Hydrate vigorously with Jose Cuervo