How to get in touch with my pregnant wife while at BM??

[momoipower]

Hello everyone,

I'm all set to go to my 1st BM this year but my wife will be in her 34th week of pregnancy while I'm there. I'd like to get back home as soon as possible if she goes into labor. None of us realized she could deliver that early when I bought the tickets (:shock: , I know!), but now that BM is approaching she is getting worried. I've read contradictory info about phone coverage and internet access, and I'd very much appreciate people to share their experience. Right now, I'm considering selling my ticket to stay by her side.

So my big question is: Is there a way for me to check emails from her every day somehow? Or receive a call per day?

Thank you very much!
Francois

[theCryptofishist]

Satellite phone. You can rent them. Not cheap, but keep it short. That's the expensive part. Or you could just have her call if she goes into labor and not use it otherwise.

[BoyScoutGirl]

Ditto. A satellite phone is your best "guarantee," rather than relying on whatever other people have set up.

As backup, you can also have them try to contact you via the Black Rock Rangers. Here's how info on how:
http://www.burningman.com/preparation/e ... -mKDtfzsi0

Make sure the camp description is as identifiable as possible. It may even be worthwhile to craft a flag of some sort.

[momoipower]

Awesome ! I'm going to look into renting one of those. Thank you

Oh, and BoyScoutGirl, I really like Le petit Prince

[BoyScoutGirl]

I can't believe I forgot:

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE INCOMING HUMAN SPAWN!

I mean that in the warmest way possible

[mdmf007]

Text messages work pretty well for regular communications. There are hot spots that are skypeable but its shoddy and sometimes there is not enough bandwidth. Late night and early morning is best time to connect a cell phone call out, shoddy in. Late night / Early Morning - 2300 to 0600

that has been my experience..

[Eric]

Right now, I'm considering selling my ticket to stay by her side.

Your wife is pregnant. Stay by her side - in the best conditions (ie: you have a Sat phone & your own car) it's going to take you 4-5 hours to drive to Reno, and then you need to wait for a flight home - and that doesn't include mandatory cleaning of your rental vehicle, breaking your camp down & transporting it off playa, either to a dump or taking it home. Once you hit Saturday people start leaving, and the trip to Reno can take 8 hours, and once you hit Sunday there's the potential for 12 hours or more from camp to Reno.

Which is more important - the birth of your child, or a party in the desert? Your wife has the patience of a saint, because if I were her I'd be ready to kill that there was even a question. Next year the grandparents can take care of the baby, and you and your wife can come together.

[Captain Goddammit]

I agree with Eric, except he was too nice. You're an idiot.
Even if you can get a phone call out (don't count on it!) you can get surrounded by other campers, you have to drive very slowly off the playa ("but officer, my wife is at home having a baby" is not going to excuse hauling ass across the playa) then you might have to wait to get out, depending on what day it is that could be hours, then you have a LONG way to drive... she's having your baby, and you're going to Burning Man... the short answer is there's no reliable communication except a very expensive sat phone, and no quick way home. And you're the Father Of The Year.
Party on, dude! Party on.
Just try to send the child support checks when you can.

[momoipower]

Thank you for those info, Eric and Captain Goddammit, that's helpful.

Believe it or not, the BM ticket was a gift from my wife, so I guess it makes us both idiots or parents of the year.

We've been looking at preterm statistics and there are very few chances the baby might be born during that week. Chances are there though, so we are weighing everything to see what we can do.

I need to make a choice between those 2 scenarios:
- Stay home
- Go and take the risk : I have a car, I have a phone sat, I leave on Friday before the big rush...

[msj2u]

well first I'll congratulate you....

1) have no idea where you have to get home to
2) sell the ticket, get the money for the kid
3) you get the call, then worry the whole time driving (perhaps at night)

Hope you make the decision for everyone involved.

MSJ

[rmc50]

Is this your first child?

Not that it really matters, as I can't imagine being a long way from my wife when she was pregnant and that far along.

As others have pointed out, if she goes into labor it is very unlikely that you will get there in time. You certainly won't get there when she needs you. And if the baby is that early she will REALLY need you.

A woman goes through a lot of changes during a pregnancy and childbirth, mentally, hormonally and physically. What she might have agreed to back when the tickets went on sale might not be so agreeable to her anymore. Life is probably already getting a bit tougher for her and it will only get worse in the next three weeks. There is a good chance that she will feel abandoned and will be resentful of this forever after, even if things do work out okay.

I recommend that you sell the ticket and stay home. It just isn't worth risking your relationship.

Rod

[Eric]

We've been looking at preterm statistics and there are very few chances the baby might be born during that week. Chances are there though, so we are weighing everything to see what we can do.

Even if she was guaranteed not to give birth that week, I would recommend being there for her. It's the final weeks of a pregnancy, the last thing she needs is additional stress. You also have to think of how this would affect your Burn - you would have to remain tethered to the phone, and in condition to drive, at all times. The best case scenarios all imagine you're in your camp, and rested enough to drive. What happens if you're in deep playa, and it's 30-40 minutes back to camp (bikes have to stay at 5mph in BRC as well as vehicles), and you're slightly dehydrated?

[momoipower]

Thanks so much for all your comments. I will stay home.
To answer rmc50's question: yes it is my first child - I can see I've got a lot to learn.

I guess I have a ticket to sell now!

[Ratty]

I'm so glad you want to stay home. You can ask women about their pregnancy and delivery and they remember it ALL 30 or 40 years later. My 1st husband did some things that weren't really awful but I never forgave him because of the circumstances. I was going to suggest that you have only 2 choices. Bring her or stay home. That would make it easy to chose. Congrats on the coming birth. Don't miss a minute of it. And NEVER refer to her as parasitically challenged.

[Captain Goddammit]

Ok. You're no longer an idiot.
And you took criticism very well... you'll be a great burner next year!
It sucks to have to forfeit. I had to forfeit 2012 because of a new job; I had a ticket, early entry pass, and hadn't been able to go for a few years, it sucked. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I'm forfeiting this year too because something else that makes way more sense fell into place and it'd be kinda stupid of me to go this year instead of the other opportunity.

The random starry eyed sparkle pony hippies think otherwise but the playa isn't "home" to anything or anyone, it's not magic, it's just a goddamm camping trip. A really awesome one.

[Eric]

Like many others, I've had to miss Burns (in what would have been my second year, the choice was "officiate my nieces wedding, or piss off the whole family over a party"). You've made the right choice, and you'll know that as soon as the birth happens. These few weeks are also the last personal time you & your wife will have for a long time!

[AntiM]

Awwwww... now eplaya gets to name your baby.

[FIGJAM]

Let's call him or her Chance!!!!

[momoipower]

eplaya naming the baby??? With a name like that she'd set for life!

The whole time, my wife and I were focusing on the wrong things : the pre-term statistics, comparing the time it would take me to get back vs average time it takes to deliver a baby from first contractions (did you know it is 18h to 24h in the US), the money already spent in BM, how I was going to piss off the camp I've been part of, etc. without actually thinking about how it might affect her while I was away. So far, her pregnancy has been so good, it didn't really crossed our minds. (we are kind of positive people I guess...)

Anyway, it took you people to remind me how crazy all of this was. Between being a 1st time burner and a 1st time father, I just feel like a virgin on all fronts right now.

[AntiM]

I think you will be a fine father, and a fine burner. You will make someone very happy by selling your ticket. You will make your wife happy to have you there to yell at. Your camp will get over it.

Please do not name your child Destiny StarWish.

[GreyCoyote]

Its OK to let eplayans run your life, name your kids, give you childrearing advice and determine where/when/if/how you can go to Burning Man, but DO NOT LET THEM HOLD YOUR BEER. Ever.

You have been warned.

[chuckularone]

What beer?

[GreyCoyote]

What beer?

This one.

Wait. I see what you did there!!!

[Captain Goddammit]

Please do not name your child Destiny StarWish.

How about "Dusty"?

[AntiM]

Dusty Rhoades?

[Doctor VonBacon]

Please do not name your child Destiny StarWish.

And what is wrong with being named Destiny Starwish???

-Dr. Destiny S. VonBacon

[AntiM]

It is already taken.

[Doctor VonBacon]

It is already taken.

I am humbled by your wit. You win.
Also, thanks for making me shoot coffee out of my nose in the middle of the office.

[Captain Goddammit]

Dustin MacBurney

[burner von braun]

.

Whew!! Wow! Yet another bonehead narrowly saved by eplaya!

Well done people!


..psst.. now remember folks.. mums the word about the Alien Siege Machine

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