Car Thief Honeypot

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So we just got back from the latest Space Cowboy's shindig in SF at 1015 Folsom -- the Lee Coombs Breakfast of Champions release party. Good music, good crowd, fun time. Me, Kitty, & Datura had driven up to join up with Zero and Wonder, two burners we first met at BM04. And we all danced and had a good time and went for Happy Donuts afterwards.

Now, Zero and Wonder are definitely good karma burners -- just the kind of campmates you want to spend time at BRC with, because they're generous and caring: they always have got some extra glow for you, or are right there with some water when you're wondering where you left your canteen, or tossing you an extra tube of lip balm, or suddenly appearing with miraculously fresh grapes and cheese just when you're thinking you might be hungry and you're sick of power bars.

So the five of us had a great evening with the Cowboys, and afterwards we dropped Zero and Wonder off at their car, said good night, when we saw that something was wrong. Someone had smashed the window of Zero's car and stolen random shit, including some boxes of BM memorabilia and costumes and blinky things, along with Wonder's glasses and a bag that had Zero's wallet and house keys along with his street clothes. Horrible way to end a great evening. So now they're dealing with making a police report, and canceling his credit cards, cleaning up the safety glass that was spread everywhere, and they really should hire a locksmith to change the locks for his apartment, plus of course dealing with the car insurance to get the car window replaced.

No way do these two fine examples of burner spirit deserve this huge set of hassles. Sure, they could have parked somewhere different, but it was hardly some back alley -- they're right there off Howard street under a streetlight. Like I said, they're owed good karma, not the shit they had to deal with today.

I know I hate when stuff gets stolen from me. The whole violation feeling, plus all the "what if" games you play about what you might have done differently to avoid it. And of course the cops don't care and can't do anything about it, and the odds of the thieves being caught is nearly nil, and the really shitty truth is that the costumes and BM memorabilia have no commercial value but represent a huge nostalgia and time value to Zero and Wonder. Their BM stuff is going to end up in a dumpster somewhere (we looked all around, but no luck) never to be seen again. What a waste.

I got to thinking. For computer security, a common practice is to set up a "honeypot" system to attract crackers to break in -- a system that looks like the real thing, only loaded with fake data, just non-valuable stuff to waste the crackers' time, distract them from the good stuff that's hidden nearby, and to allow you to trace them, and get them arrested if you're so inclined.

So in the shower just now I was thinking there should be honeypot cars to trap the kind of asshole car thieves who would break a car window (causing, what, $300 damage at least?) just to steal what turns out to be less than $40 worth of someone else's memorabilia.

The idea: Get a cheap car, park in a seedy alley, put an attractive-looking item like a purse in plain sight on the passenger side, set up surveillance, then wait for the crooks.

What first came to mind was to have the purse be a booby trap: Something explosive, or with spring-loaded sharp spikes. But as satisfying as that would be, there is the fact that such a trap is of questionable morality and definite illegality. Plus it might go off on a friend or family member by accident.

So instead, how about loading the purse with that exploding indelible red dye that banks supposedly sneak in along with the money when bank robbers hold up a branch office?

Or have the purse contain what look like brand new gourmet chocolate bars, but are actually laxative bars laced with rat poison?

Or stick a tracking beacon in the wallet, then send in the biker gang...

Or.... I don't know what else. I'm still mad at the thieves, so I keep coming up with ideas revolving around grievous bodily harm.

Anybody ever set up something like this? I feel powerless and want sweet revenge, as petty as that may be.

[tonytohono]

Zeigan... on Howard between like 7th and 8th is a pretty raw shelter if my memory serves me correctly. I lived in that area for awhile near Brainwash. I wouldn't leave anything in my car anywhere on Howard, especially things that shine, sparkle, or glow. Tweekers are about.

Anyway, I am sorry for your friends. I have learned that Karma can bite you on the ass and then reward you with something a million times more valuable without notice at any given moment in the distant, or the not so distant future.

Vengeance may seem like it may provide a solution, but I suspect it may hurt you even more. Easy for me to say, I know.

Peace.

[geekster]

Police have been known to actually use this method from time to time. They also use it to catch someone that might want to steal the car.

http://www.komotv.com/news/printstory.asp?id=13040

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After a night's sleep, violent revenge no longer seems such a good idea. For the record, I do not advocate cutting off the hands of pickpockets either.

This incident still sucks though.

tonytohono, you're absolutely right about the karma. Just for the record, I don't think there was anything visible in their car, it was all hidden in their trunk. I'll certainly be more likely to park in a lot in that area. Peace to you as well.

geekster, interesting article, thanks. I wish the SF cops would do this -- all it would take is a few well-publicized cases, and suddenly there's a real possibility of deterrence.

--Z.

[tonytohono]

Z-

Doncha hate how they made it a law that you must be able to open the trunk from inside the car via a switch?

Well, unless of course, you lock your keys in the trunk that is. Or yourself with the keys I guess.