Alternate Fucking Profanity

[theCryptofishist]

Stealth profanity, for when people think you swear too much.
There's the old fashioned stuff--Egads! by Jove!
Or the wacky commonwealth stuff--Bugger all! Bloody hell!
Then there's the vocabulary that you had when you were too young to swear: Gosh! Golly! Fudge!
And the odd bits you and your friends made up privately--Poof!

What do you have...

[1durphul]

Frak has been one of the few that I swap out. But I don't live or work around children so I can swear all day long without doing any harm to anything but my own reputation.

[graidawg]

fek. though my irish friends insist it is not swearing at all.

[theCryptofishist]

I just thought that we might fekking want to bloody well accommodate Mr. 33poofy3, that's all.

[lucky420]

oh for fucks sake! it's a fucking word. I find nothing wrong with it at all and can actually use it in the workplace (thank you cool co-workers).

Of course there are inappropriate times (I guess) that one shouldn't use it. Funeral memorial maybe. But I certainly wouldnt be offended if at a funeral and the speaker says "he was a great fucking guy/gal and shall be missed" It would probably lighten the mood a bit or at least make a few people smile because it is unexpected

Why are people so uptight with this word?

and frankly I have a hard time remembering what words I used to use. I guess if pressed I would say "freaking" instead of "fucking" or you can almost say the word such as "fu....."

And if people think I swear to much they can plonk me or walk away or throw holy water on me.

i really dont give a fuck

[lucky420]

I just thought that we might fekking want to bloody well accommodate Mr. 33poofy3, that's all.

No fishy I can't, but he can plonk me till the sun goes down

[maladroit]

Bunch of beslubbering rump-fed foot-lickers!

http://www.museangel.net/insult.html

[trilobyte]

People are welcome to their opinions on profanity, just as I'm welcome to my opinions on their delicate sensibilities regarding profanity.

[theCryptofishist]

(Precisely. What this thread is about is really about the silliness of rejecting profanity. And maybe finding some new, fun swear words, too. I'm not against that.)

[theCryptofishist]

Or maybe I should have started an "eplaya for delicate flowers" thread.
(Not little flowers, it should be said.)

[FIGJAM]

"Ingest fecal matter and discorporate!!!"

[VultureChow]

Yiddish works quite well:

Schmuck, putz, schlong, - Penis
Schmeckel - small penis
Schtupp - to fuck
Chazzer - a pig, unkempt person, asshole
Farkarkta - all fucked up, crazy
Drek - garbage, shit
Shmegegge - A jerk

[trilobyte]

I was told there'd be alternative fucking....

[VultureChow]

I was told there'd be alternative schtupping....

FTFY

[Joeln]

Why are people so uptight with this word?
.
.
And if people think I swear to much they can plonk me or walk away or throw holy water on me.

There - fixed it for you.

and... Holy water is the first Playa name that was offered to me this year as I was serving Caipirinhas at our bar.
Not thinking I'll keep it but wtf.

[GreyCoyote]

Merrygap a winyon.

[Sham]

I think back when I was a kid, and using the word damn or hell was considered profanity. The f-word would have caused you to go to a reform school. Now the cashier in a store hands you your fucking change--without even a thank you!

[graidawg]

I feel as an brit person and all that entails i should be providing an abundance of alternate swear words. but i can't be fucking bothered. i guess i could say cunting instead but i think i just made that up.

to quote some twat from some bollocks flick "fuck you, you fucking fuck" remember gone with the wind nearly got an x rating for the famous line "fuck you my dear i don't give one rats ass about your festering minge" or something like that.

[Sunbeam56]

The problem with profanity is its dull. I had a friend (now dead ) who cussed ALOT. But it was fun to
Listen to. People werent "Fuckers", they were "useless as tits on a boar": "all e't up with the dumb-ass": "too ignorant to pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel".
"So ugly his momma hung a porkchop around his neck so the dog would play with him."
So mean "i wouldnt piss on him if he was on fire".
So unatrractive "i wouldnt fuck her with your dick".

His insults were a rough kinda poetry...

I miss creative profanity.

[VultureChow]

So back in the day when regretsy was still online, there was a crowdsourced book of creative profanity. Pages and pages of cursing.

[unjonharley]

As a uneducated blue collar worker and Steel Workers union rep.. I was told once, kindly.. To tone down the profanity and to not jump up onto the mahogany table walk over and speak to a fecal brained millionaire.. Or call them nasal digital excavators.. Also not to use fuck .. so much.. I won more grievance than most..
WTF do I know.. I was so drunk, someone had to tell me what had gone on in the meeting.. The workers would spif me a quart and buy a few round in Browny's Bar..


Browny's was across the street from the plants clock ally.. That s where most of the union business went down.. There were 58 hard liquor bars in that small town and I had a tab in most of them..

That was long ago and far away.. Been sober longer than most of you fuckos been alive.. Fifty two fucking years..

[sadie]

One of my favorites is:

Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

[goathead]

[media]

[maladroit]

One of my favorites is:

Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

You can do that with a lot of things...

Make like a tree and go fuck yourself.

Make like a egg and go fuck yourself.

Make like a banana and go fuck yourself.

Why don't you take a long walk off a short go fuck yourself.

Knock knock. Who's there? Go fuck yourself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Go fuck yourself.

[goathead]

fuck, its been a long day.

snicker

my sig line has "Fuck you Day" in a few different languages.

[sadie]

One of my favorites is:

Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

You can do that with a lot of things...

Make like a tree and go fuck yourself.

Make like a egg and go fuck yourself.

Make like a banana and go fuck yourself.

Why don't you take a long walk off a short go fuck yourself.

Knock knock. Who's there? Go fuck yourself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Go fuck yourself.

I will have to incorporate these into my conversations..

[FIGJAM]

They can all go fuck each other!

Except for the last one, and he can go fuck himself!!!

[maladroit]

They can all go fuck each other!

Except for the last one, and he can go fuck himself!!!

This requires counting to see if there's an even or odd number of go-fuck-ees.

[FIGJAM]

You know there is ALWAYS an extra one around if you just look!

[unjonharley]

Take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.. That has been around for years..

Alternate

Attempt aerial intercourse with a rotating pastry