Therapy, psychology, and all that jazz.

[dana]

Aserendipity, I thought of one other thing to tell you. A little weird but maybe it will help you snap out of this stuff.

So each time you feel that sudden impulse to give someone a snarky remark take a moment to step back and imagine that you're actually in a life or death struggle right then. If you do the wrong thing and don't give it your best, the very next moment you're going to be dead, over, finished. A bullet through the head, a massive stroke or heart attack, something that ends it all. And the only way you'll prevent that is by giving more than you thought possible, the best you have.

Because really our time on this earth is limited. You feel you have time to waste??!!!! No one will stop you if you decide to waste your own life. So you either waste it or make it wondrous. Decide moment by moment.

[Aurelia]

Knock it off !

[dana]

Knock it off !

Oh shit. You're not all there are you?
Just block me, 'plonk' me and I'll disappear from your notice. Ask someone if you don't know how to do that.

take care and it was worth trying anyway.

[GreyCoyote]

Psychotherapy as a spectator sport? I'm in. Schooch over on the couch you guys and share the popcorn. And make sure someone has their finger on the volume button for when this gets loud.

[unjonharley]

Psychotherapy as a spectator sport? I'm in. Schooch over on the couch you guys and share the popcorn. And make sure someone has their finger on the volume button for when this gets loud.

What? you a spectator.. Your should be in the center ring..

[kowtow]

Psychotherapy as a spectator sport? I'm in. Schooch over on the couch you guys and share the popcorn. And make sure someone has their finger on the volume button for when this gets loud.

What? you a spectator.. Your should be in the center ring..

I wouldn't mind seeing GC in the center ring. I could snap my crop, floggers and whip across his ass and make him rise to the occasion.

[FIGJAM]

"Contents may have settled in transport!"

[kowtow]

"Contents may have settled in transport!"

Lol...

[ranger magnum]

I was in my second year of college, majoring in psychology, when I literally woke up one morning and decided I didn't want to be someones emotional tampon for the rest of my life.

So I dropped out and became a contractor.

[dana]

I was in my second year of college, majoring in psychology, when I literally woke up one morning and decided I didn't want to be someones emotional tampon for the rest of my life.

So I dropped out and became a contractor.

Funny!
I'm actually at that same point after about 20 years. Now I want to walk away from my day's work seeing something more tangible in front of me.
It was a good ride but I'm done. I learned a shitload that I wouldn't have in any other way.

[kiboy]

Also she never interrupts me to tell me about her problems

At $90/hr the rip-off artist better not bother me with their problems or I'd give 'em a new one!

I have a gym membership. Gyms don't charge that much. My issue with psycho quacks is what they think their time is worth.
Everyone knows they are the most messed up in the head people around, themselves.

You have pinpointed two issues I have with therapists. Rip off charges as in who the fuck do they think they are and why the fuck do they think I'm that rich and how many of them really are qualified to help others? Having said that I'm not going to condemn the whole profession just because most of the apples in the barrel are rotten.

[Lonesomebri]

Well, the Burn sure didn't seem to have the calming effect I had hoped.

[GreyCoyote]

Well, the Burn sure didn't seem to have the calming effect I had hoped.

Maybe ya need a stiff dose of thorazine with a lithium chaser, all washed-down with a good bottle of Scotch? C'mon over, Bri!! I've got a porch swing and I'm not afraid to use it!

Actually... naw... scratch that. We'd miss the dust... so.... lets go back next year and try it again. Maybe it will "take" this time!

[GreyCoyote]

Psychotherapy as a spectator sport? I'm in. Schooch over on the couch you guys and share the popcorn. And make sure someone has their finger on the volume button for when this gets loud.

What? you a spectator.. Your should be in the center ring..

Ahem. The LAST time I was in the center ring, Gramps, you were making monkey noises in your tent with half of the Swedish Bikini Team. Then you fell asleep. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Bad form, but perhaps understandable if one of them brought warm milk. (Ygmir alert: low hanging fruit here!!!!)

Kowtow on the other hand, looked kinda cute as the ringmaster with those fishnet stockings... But I do digress.

[ygmir]

I have noted, in therapists and LCSW's that I personally know, or know of, many got into the profession, after having been treated by same. Realizing either it's a good way to make a living, or, genuinely wanting to help others as they were helped, or a combination thereof.
Just sayin, often,, it's a fucked up person, treating a fucked up person, for all the insight and or conflict that may indicate.

[Captain Goddammit]

OK... I have a pretty damn good reason to go off on that therapist I saw, but it requires telling a few horror stories about a succession of psycho bitches from hell.
For right now I'll just say I've been very, very thoroughly run through the wringer, shit on, fucked with, screwed over, and put through hell by some real pieces of shit. Some of whom I tried to get away from but was blackmailed by.
What did I do to them? NOTHING. It happened because I chose them for being hot and fun, not noticing what psychotic bitches they were until it was too late. In brief, any therapist, or anyone, who starts questioning what I DID TO THEM isn't going to get a pleasant conversation. I was as nice to these fucking cunts as possible.
This professional dipshit figures I'm the common link in all of it.... yeah true but it's because they were deranged but hot.... not because I did anything to them.
I'll tell stories if anyone wants to read them, I'll tell you the last motherfucking psycho bitch ended up chasing me down the street with a knife and pressing false rape charges (that I eventually beat, because they were false). Fortunately in the end she went to jail, but it was a nightmare. That's just ONE of them, and I could tell about more all damn night. Hell that's not even the only one of them who ended up in jail.
So yeah... When someone sides with THEM and questions what I did to provoke them, I get a little upset.
An earlier, different one had me so upset I actually tried a therapist, he pulled that shit on me, I left, told - OK dared him to try to collect a bill for it, and developed a bit of a hatred and hair-trigger about the subject. My apologies to any of you who are decent therapists who actually help anyone.

[FIGJAM]

I have this girl that you need to meet!!!

[media]

[kiboy]

OK... I have a pretty damn good reason to go off on that therapist I saw, but it requires telling a few horror stories about a succession of psycho bitches from hell.
For right now I'll just say I've been very, very thoroughly run through the wringer, shit on, fucked with, screwed over, and put through hell by some real pieces of shit. Some of whom I tried to get away from but was blackmailed by.
What did I do to them? NOTHING. It happened because I chose them for being hot and fun, not noticing what psychotic bitches they were until it was too late. In brief, any therapist, or anyone, who starts questioning what I DID TO THEM isn't going to get a pleasant conversation. I was as nice to these fucking cunts as possible.
This professional dipshit figures I'm the common link in all of it.... yeah true but it's because they were deranged but hot.... not because I did anything to them.
I'll tell stories if anyone wants to read them, I'll tell you the last motherfucking psycho bitch ended up chasing me down the street with a knife and pressing false rape charges (that I eventually beat, because they were false). Fortunately in the end she went to jail, but it was a nightmare. That's just ONE of them, and I could tell about more all damn night. Hell that's not even the only one of them who ended up in jail.
So yeah... When someone sides with THEM and questions what I did to provoke them, I get a little upset.
An earlier, different one had me so upset I actually tried a therapist, he pulled that shit on me, I left, told - OK dared him to try to collect a bill for it, and developed a bit of a hatred and hair-trigger about the subject. My apologies to any of you who are decent therapists who actually help anyone.

Great rant. We'll have to have a beer sometime and you can tell it all again. I'd get plenty of mileage out of that great story of woe is me.

[Captain Goddammit]

Great rant. We'll have to have a beer sometime and you can tell it all again. I'd get plenty of mileage out of that great story of woe is me.

Fuck off, ass face.

[kiboy]

Sorry for being so snarky. Didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings. The problem here is that I'm getting only one side of the story. I learned long ago that nobody is totally innocent. But you sound like such a sweet guy maybe i'm wrong.

[southern crone]

Damn, I wish I were your lover
I'll rock you til the daylight comes
Make sure you are smiling and warm
I am everything, tonight I'll be your mother
I will do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't fell ashamed
Shucks...

[Elorrum]

I was thinking about baseball bats, and the admonition to hit with the label up, so we don't strike across the grain and the weaker side. Having a flaw or weakness, acknowledging it, fixing it, working around it, or helping another with the same, can make one effective in the world. I'm pretty clear on who actually makes change in my life. I know a therapist doesn't fix people's problems. Maybe we end up paying someone to listen, because we need to tell, and we need to hear our own words to make sense of our thoughts. Having someone skilled in listening, noting trends and sticking points, helps a lot. If I had a friend who could tolerate the amount of me concentration that involves, I'd save some money. I don't think I'd do that to a friend though. It's a completely selfish endeavor.

We spend a lot of time deciding these things as black and white and arguing our position on either side of that line. If we do care for each other, we'd just allow that things aren't the same for all of us. When my feelings are super strong in opposition to something, I check what about it arouses my fear, and try to understand what that fear is. Arguing and needing to win here gets pretty brutal. It's something I have a hard time understanding, so the foe feature helps.

[Aurelia]

Elorrum, You and Yggy are the best !

Yes, the gift of listening and hearing whatever the language of the seeker is ; amounts to the soothing.

xoA.

[Jovankat]

I was thinking about baseball bats, and the admonition to hit with the label up, so we don't strike across the grain and the weaker side. Having a flaw or weakness, acknowledging it, fixing it, working around it, or helping another with the same, can make one effective in the world. I'm pretty clear on who actually makes change in my life. I know a therapist doesn't fix people's problems. Maybe we end up paying someone to listen, because we need to tell, and we need to hear our own words to make sense of our thoughts. Having someone skilled in listening, noting trends and sticking points, helps a lot. If I had a friend who could tolerate the amount of me concentration that involves, I'd save some money. I don't think I'd do that to a friend though. It's a completely selfish endeavor.

We spend a lot of time deciding these things as black and white and arguing our position on either side of that line. If we do care for each other, we'd just allow that things aren't the same for all of us. When my feelings are super strong in opposition to something, I check what about it arouses my fear, and try to understand what that fear is. Arguing and needing to win here gets pretty brutal. It's something I have a hard time understanding, so the foe feature helps.

These are some very wise words.

[kiboy]

I was thinking about baseball bats, and the admonition to hit with the label up, so we don't strike across the grain and the weaker side. Having a flaw or weakness, acknowledging it, fixing it, working around it, or helping another with the same, can make one effective in the world. I'm pretty clear on who actually makes change in my life. I know a therapist doesn't fix people's problems. Maybe we end up paying someone to listen, because we need to tell, and we need to hear our own words to make sense of our thoughts. Having someone skilled in listening, noting trends and sticking points, helps a lot. If I had a friend who could tolerate the amount of me concentration that involves, I'd save some money. I don't think I'd do that to a friend though. It's a completely selfish endeavor.

We spend a lot of time deciding these things as black and white and arguing our position on either side of that line. If we do care for each other, we'd just allow that things aren't the same for all of us. When my feelings are super strong in opposition to something, I check what about it arouses my fear, and try to understand what that fear is. Arguing and needing to win here gets pretty brutal. It's something I have a hard time understanding, so the foe feature helps.

Great post. Therapy can be a brutal endeavor and takes a lot of effort to see how one often creates the reality they blame on the world. I can play with that process with a few friends but it gets very old if you have to do that for more than an hour a month.

It's often easier to see into others than ourselves so we often see the ego protecting games others are playing when we listen to them explain their position. Usually that position is hard wired and is very resistant to any advice from outsiders, even friends. So what you get is having to listen to the same defending of someone's status quo ad nauseum. You better pay me if you want me to do that for long. And the process can sometimes take years depending on the skills of the therapist and the willingness of the individual to facing themselves. That's why I think some of these changes per hour are prohibitive to actually going through the process. How many average people can afford $80 -$150 once or twice a week on an ongoing basis?

[Lonesomebri]

The 6 things the Psychiatrist told me. I went to see an expert, like going to the doctor, or the car mechanic. Someone with official training, who was read up and knows something, an educated outside voice telling me what is wrong inside my head. What he told me.
1. The actual odds are against me; older single male, no close family or friends, etc. etc. He had no problem telling me this, in our first meeting.
2. I should meditate. Being mindful, even on a mountaintop, does not count. In fact I should join his meditation group, led by his boss/guru. Everyone should.
3. I should read Civilization and Its Discontents by Sigmund Freud, because I believe that humans have evolved intellectually beyond being able to maintain sanity.
4. I am “obsessive”, he let slip, and then said he regretted telling me. This is the most constructive information he gave me. It’s actually a diagnosis that explains the cause of symptoms to me. (I am not compulsive though, too lazy for that).
5. “Don’t beat yourself up”, he didn’t really want to hear the depths of what was bothering me. And then he asked, “Does it make you feel better to talk about that?” because the story was depressing him out too much.
6. I can be denied service for telling him that I am tired of his asking me what I think, as I tell him, and I would prefer the expert tell me what he thinks, that’s why I am there telling him what I think.

[FIGJAM]

I'm pretty good.

Anybody can PM me and we'll talk on the phone, but I won't waste your or my time.

I have tools for most situations and will be happy to help.

Help equation = You do 80% while I do 20%!!!

"You do or you don't, you will or you won't! There are no excuses!!!"

[tatonka]

[media]

[FIGJAM]

The 6 things the Psychiatrist told me. I went to see an expert, like going to the doctor, or the car mechanic. Someone with official training, who was read up and knows something, an educated outside voice telling me what is wrong inside my head. What he told me.
1. The actual odds are against me; older single male, no close family or friends, etc. etc. He had no problem telling me this, in our first meeting.
2. I should meditate. Being mindful, even on a mountaintop, does not count. In fact I should join his meditation group, led by his boss/guru. Everyone should.
3. I should read Civilization and Its Discontents by Sigmund Freud, because I believe that humans have evolved intellectually beyond being able to maintain sanity.
4. I am “obsessive”, he let slip, and then said he regretted telling me. This is the most constructive information he gave me. It’s actually a diagnosis that explains the cause of symptoms to me. (I am not compulsive though, too lazy for that).
5. “Don’t beat yourself up”, he didn’t really want to hear the depths of what was bothering me. And then he asked, “Does it make you feel better to talk about that?” because the story was depressing him out too much.
6. I can be denied service for telling him that I am tired of his asking me what I think, as I tell him, and I would prefer the expert tell me what he thinks, that’s why I am there telling him what I think.

Sounds like a load of crap!

I'm better than that.

I'm interested in getting to the point, since my only reward is another happy, rational person in the world!!!

[delle]

I know you're just twitching for one of us to nibble at that "rational" carrot Figgy, so I'll bite by saying that might be a bit of an unreasonable expectation for some of us.


Now I must get back to emptying my hoses for the winter.
Then rolling them and bringing them inside to wash off the mud.
Because of course I couldn't just rinse them off with their left over water and save a step or two, now could I?