Doomed Relationships

All things outside of Burning Man.
Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 17, 2003 7:17 pm

Kinetic wrote:I didn't expect closure like this and especially with Tiff and my family around. But it's done. Thanks to everyone who offered advice...It helped tonight.
Good on ya, mate. In the end what you've done is best for BOTH of you.

Kinetic

Post by Kinetic » Wed Sep 17, 2003 8:28 pm

Badger: It's funny you mention Kevlar....all of us are really worried about vehicle sabotage more than anything but she was supposed to be going back to Denver tonight....I hope she left KC.

Guest: If you can't find the paypal acct and I get to make it to decompression, I will pay up in person....I don't know what I can offer yet but I'm a burner, I can come up with something! And if I can't do it there, you'll be on playa next year...If plans hold and I don't have my own camp I'll be in Kidsville and I'm sure I can help you out with something.

Flux: Your right, it sucked. But I got an unexpected benefit out of it and that was a huge level of respect from my mother and sister and the friend who was here. They said under the circumstances I handled it well. I hate being like that. I whine and gripe, I might drive aggressive but that's the end of it. This was really out of character and very uncomfortable. But I got it done.

What a strange, strange day it's been. I'm still in decompression or something...as I'm still learning from the event this year. Nikki who was over here and saw everything said: "you changed.....the person who left for BM is not the same one that came back. I like the changes!" I have lots of work to do but I hope this is over and others can produce the drama around here.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:57 pm

RebA! wrote:Sorry, all this "have kids someday" and kids are the light and love of the world bullshit is making me gag and throw up in my mouth. Someone pm me when this crap is over.
Hee hee- RebA I think I love you-

Thanks Ivy and Lydia- what I meant when I said "ignore" was "don't allow yourself to be held emotionally hostage". Guess I didn't say it that well, but I'm 99.999% sure from kinetic's description of how she changed gears and tried another tack to get an emotional response from him when he refused to be emotionally blackmailed by the suicide threat that she was the same as my psycho in that way.

Kinetic- sounds like you're dealing with it better than I did- I actually lived with mine for like a year, which was about 10 months longer than I enjoyed her company.

PJ- you're right, as usual. The sex was great, we even got applause one night when we went at it so hard that the hide-a-bed was bouncing off the floor... the people at the party downstairs got real quiet for a few seconds after we climaxed, then laughed and applauded... if I'd had the energy after that, I'd have gotten dressed and gone down...

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PJ
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Post by PJ » Thu Sep 18, 2003 7:04 am

Badger wrote:I think you're confusing the Little Guy with the Little Admiral.
If he's wearing a helmet, he's a General not an Admiral.

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OregonRed
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Post by OregonRed » Thu Sep 18, 2003 7:17 am

PJ wrote:It's worth mentioning that crazy women are often really, really great at sex.
That's how they lure you in, and often how they keep you around. After all, everybody is good at something
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nipples
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Post by nipples » Thu Sep 18, 2003 9:27 am

Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
And warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages
Tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad
Cream-colored ponies
And crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleighbells
And schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly
With the moon on thir wings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad
Girls in white dresses
With blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay
On my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters
That melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things!
When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad
Last edited by nipples on Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by Flux » Thu Sep 18, 2003 9:33 am

nipples wrote:which is sort of weird that i bothered to get the gun at all becasue i profess to myself nearly everyday that i want to die, so why protect myself?
Interesting question and one which, even if asked in jest, I'd like to address.

After 9/11, I heard a psychologist being interviewed on the question, "Why did people jump?" Part of his answer was that people want choice, even when the choice is between dying one way and dying another. Kind of a "fuck you, fire, you can't get me, I'm gonna jump!" sort of thing.

He mentioned that there have been cases in which potential suicides were threatened by a cop with a gun -- I know, sounds weird, I'm not sure what the circumstances were -- and gave themselves up. They wanted to die, but they wanted to do it their way; no way they were going to let the cop do it to them.

Interesting, no?

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Lo5150
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Relationship Trouble-we had it

Post by Lo5150 » Thu Sep 18, 2003 9:43 am

Oh boy, my hubby and I had trouble at our first burn. Due to the stress of getting there (trailer broke, no money,etc.) and then my doc had given my pills I thought were antidepressants, and migrane meds, but he actually gave me a lethal combo of some pills for epilesy and MS. Anyway, I was mentally screwed up to begin with and very teary from the Temple. I wanted to go out and interact in all of the things you would not see anywhere BUT BM, but my hubby was more interested in the music and drums (he is a pro drummer). So, we were not together very much. Plus, it was our anniversary, and he forgot. BIG no no. So, not a real good week for me, but live and learn.
Guns don't kill people, burning couches kill people.
-Sign seen at BM in 20002-

Kinetic

Post by Kinetic » Thu Sep 18, 2003 9:58 am

OregonRed wrote:
PJ wrote:It's worth mentioning that crazy women are often really, really great at sex.
That's how they lure you in, and often how they keep you around. After all, everybody is good at something
I've heard of that happening...but in this case nothing had happened, thankfully. But it's hard to think about it much less perform when you know all she wants is for you to make a baby, and then hand her 18 years of child support checks.

She called back this morning wanting to talk to someone else in the house and I'm like she still doesn't get it. So now I get to change the phone number, e-mail and all that. I thought it was over and she just keeps popping up.

I'm beyond pissed, angry got passed last night, I'm heading towards rage, and that's a state of mind I don't want to be in. NO. A very simple word, 2 letters, easily understood. Why she doesn't get it is beyond me.

At least from the posts I know I'm not alone in dealing with crap like this.

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Post by Flux » Thu Sep 18, 2003 10:05 am

Kinetic wrote:Why she doesn't get it is beyond me.
Try thinking of it as a mental illness, which is probably exactly what it is. Why doesn't the depressed person get it that life is not necessarily unendurably horrible? Why doesn't the schizophrenic person get it that the voices in his head really aren't coming from god? Why can't the manic-depressive person just take a fucking chill pill?

Anyway, that might help ameliorate your rage. Sympathy for the also-suffering -- while still doing what needs to be done to protect your own life -- beats anger at the evil tormentor any day, if only in terms of your own well-being.

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OregonRed
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Post by OregonRed » Thu Sep 18, 2003 10:07 am

Poor Kinetic!!! I mean that sincerely. There is nothing worse than a person who doesn't take no for an answer. My hubby has a girl in his past who would not go away, as does my cousin, my brother, most of my male friends, and most of my female friends. You are absolutely not alone.

To go back to the thread: It was over when he told me he'd been smoking crack.
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Post by Ivy » Thu Sep 18, 2003 10:25 am

Try thinking of it as a mental illness, which is probably exactly what it is.
I agree. In all likelihood, it is. There is no "why." If you asked her, she wouldn't be able to tell you, because it's likely that she doesn't know either.

Flux's examples, in my opinion, are good ones and good things to remember.

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PJ
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Post by PJ » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:14 am

Flux wrote:...Why doesn't the schizophrenic person get it that the voices in his head really aren't coming from god?
Or just tell the Voice of God in your head that you're an athiest.

Works for me everytime.

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Post by PJ » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:14 am

Flux wrote:...Why doesn't the schizophrenic person get it that the voices in his head really aren't coming from god?
Or just tell the Voice of God in your head that you're an athiest.

Works for me every time.

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Post by Flux » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:16 am

PJ, King of the One-Liners wrote:Or just tell the Voice of God in your head that you're an athiest.

Works for me every time.
Ha ha! Talk about your cognitive dissonance, eh?

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Post by Borris » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:36 am

RebA! wrote:Sorry, all this "have kids someday" and kids are the light and love of the world bullshit is making me gag and throw up in my mouth. Someone pm me when this crap is over.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay RebA.

I know you are married, but will you marry me as well?

Try finding a woman who Will NOT be interested in haveing kids...

practicly imposible.
Shit, where was i for the last week... ehm...

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Post by Borris » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:39 am

Lydia Love wrote:
This is not therapy!
I second that.
Oh yes it is, please transfer 100$ for every hour you lurk here to my paypal account.
Shit, where was i for the last week... ehm...

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Post by Borris » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:44 am

Anonymous wrote:of course, i and everyone else who gave you advice, now expect our consultation fee. i know i've got that paypal account number somewhere around here.....
Shit, this is what happens when you post replys before reading the entire topic till the end.

Guest you stole my joke (or actualy i used yours without knowing it was yours)
Shit, where was i for the last week... ehm...

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Post by nymphgonebad » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:51 am

Borris wrote:
princess strych-9 wrote:of course, i and everyone else who gave you advice, now expect our consultation fee. i know i've got that paypal account number somewhere around here.....
Shit, this is what happens when you post replys before reading the entire topic till the end.

Guest you stole my joke (or actualy i used yours without knowing it was yours)
gee borris, maybe we're twins separated at birth.

sorry if there was any confusion about the author of the post - the lights went out in sf yesterday and it fucked up everyone's internet connection. i got logged out without even knowing it.

Kinetic

Post by Kinetic » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:56 am

Borris:
I know someone who I call the ice princess who doesn't want kids...they are out there.

Lydia, I don't have that kind of money....but I'm sure we can work out other forms of payment.....
(leaving that kind of open ended comment on e-playa is just asking for it but yet I wonder who will bite first)

As for this mess I'm in, I'm taking time to step back and try and rethink it all out again. Right now I have no answers, nothing good to say besides I'm shellshocked with rage mixed in. One can't accomplish a damn thing in that state so I'll cool off then think, then react.

I should be worried about my mother's chemo and Tiffany's eeg testing and not this crap anyway.

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nipples
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mother goose

Post by nipples » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:58 am

CUSHY COW

Cushy cow, bonny, let down thy milk,
And I will give thee a gown of silk;
A gown of silk and a silver tee,
If thou wilt let down thy milk to me.
Last edited by nipples on Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by PJ » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:04 pm

Borris wrote:...Try finding a woman who Will NOT be interested in haveing kids. practicly imposible.

Step 1: Get a vasectomy but don't mention doing so.

Step 2: Enjoy a lifetime of really enthusiastic sex as you try as hard as is humanly possible to give her the children she wants.

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PJ
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Re: plug me in, let it simmer

Post by PJ » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:06 pm

nipples wrote:...did you ever think that joe dimaggio thought as he was boinking balls out of parks or selling out his team or boinking marilyn that hawking a coffee machine would be his most common namesake?
Call me unromantic, but I've always thought that Marilyn Monroe was most likely a really lousy fuck.

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Lo5150
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on a fun note

Post by Lo5150 » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:06 pm

I know this is a serious topic, and my heart goes out to you. But how about as a tribute to John Ritter, you can do the old gay man on 3's Company thing around women for awhile? Jeesh, I am embarrassed, but that guy made me laugh. I wish you the best of luck. I thing this whole conversation shows EXACTLY what burners are about. Helping, consoling, etc. for FREE. Why should we apologize for that? That is what I love about these boards. They are a great connection.
Lorie
Guns don't kill people, burning couches kill people.
-Sign seen at BM in 20002-

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Post by precipitate » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:12 pm

> Step 1: Get a vasectomy but don't mention doing so.
> Step 2: Enjoy a lifetime of really enthusiastic sex as you try as hard
> as is humanly possible to give her the children she wants

Mmmm. Recipe for disaster. What do you do when she finds out she's
fertile, but you're shooting blanks? Because she's really into having
kids, so she's gonna check. So then do you raise some sperm donor's
kid? Adopt? Run screaming?

Nope. There are lots of women who don't want kids. Just gotta keep
looking.

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Post by precipitate » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:13 pm

Although the vasectomy probably isn't a bad idea. That way she knows
you mean it, rather than thinking, "Well, maybe he'll change his mind as
he gets older." or some such tripe.

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Post by Ivy » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:18 pm

I know someone who I call the ice princess who doesn't want kids...they are out there.
You know, if you're gonna call me that, at least do it behing my back... :)

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Post by nymphgonebad » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:37 pm

Ivy wrote:
I know someone who I call the ice princess who doesn't want kids...they are out there.
You know, if you're gonna call me that, at least do it behing my back... :)
hey, ivy, i'll hold him down if you run and get your strap-on. gang rape, anyone?

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Re: plug me in, let it simmer

Post by Zane5100 » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:43 pm

PJ wrote:Call me unromantic, but I've always thought that Marilyn Monroe was most likely a really lousy fuck.
unromantic bastard
middle-aged, wannabe-hipster, dilettante

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Post by OregonRed » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:49 pm

precipitate wrote:Although the vasectomy probably isn't a bad idea. That way she knows
you mean it, rather than thinking, "Well, maybe he'll change his mind as
he gets older." or some such tripe.


Just playing Devil's advocate here, but what if he does change his mind when he gets older?
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