The Bar 2014 Edition

[Elliot]

...

yeah, gotta get my yearly blood test today,...
...

That reminds me; I am due for my semen test -- to make sure there is no sperm in it. Had a vasectomy 30 years ago, but since the body is designed to heal itself, it is possible for the vas to grow back together. (Yeah, I know, TMI for some of you.
But birth control is kind'a important, methinks.)

[^Rhino!]

Think of it as a tune-up for your body, Eliot and Ygmir.

The problem with the human body is that you never get an owner's manual when you're born. No 'regular recommended maintenance schedule'. You're too young when the maintenance schedule begins, with the DPT shots (do they even give those any more?), Salk and Sabin vaccinations, measles and rubella vaccinations, and all the other necessary but despised pinpricks we hated as kids.

Then, when you get old enough to care about all the abuse you've put your body through over the years, you start to see those regular maintenance items you missed, and become religious about following the rest.

Eyes....glaucoma check-up periodically, ESPECIALLY with diabetes
For men: regular prostate check-up.
For mem and women: the dreaded colonoscopy

Inconvenience is the price we all must pay for good health, it seems unfortunately.

[unjonharley]

The VA has a appointment for me with the long camera.. It's been 10 years...

[Elliot]

Rhino, you are so right! I have many problems now that could have been avoided. I even remember my parents warning me, but I shrugged it off. So I think we -- parents, schools, and so forth -- ought to start a program of teaching youngsters these things properly. That is, to teach them in a manner that they can understand and embrace. Sorry -- I don't have the educational skills to develop such a program, but surely there are people who do.

In closing, Carthage must be destroyed. we should employ our best people as teachers, and pay them accordingly.

[Elliot]

When I grew up, we all marched off to have our chests x-rayed once a year, because tuberculosis had not yet been eradicated. I wonder what 1950s and 1960s levels of x-ray radiation were, and what damage it might have caused? (Of course, tuberculosis is rather important.)

[Aurelia]

MM, Where are you ?

here is completely socked in

xoA.

[^Rhino!]

Rhino, you are so right! I have many problems now that could have been avoided. I even remember my parents warning me, but I shrugged it off. So I think we -- parents, schools, and so forth -- ought to start a program of teaching youngsters these things properly. That is, to teach them in a manner that they can understand and embrace. Sorry -- I don't have the educational skills to develop such a program, but surely there are people who do.

In closing, Carthage must be destroyed. we should employ our best people as teachers, and pay them accordingly.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Elliot! I just had a CAT scan last week for one potential problem (Abdominal aortic anyeurism - killed my cousin and my granddad and my aunt; my dad has his sleeved with polyethylene and is OK. I'm 'next in line', but the thing hasn't expanded. Yet. I wait another year for another scan.

January, the opthamologist; and then the dreaded colonoscopy. I despise being ina foul mood until it's over with, but so be it.

Oh, by the way, Carthage, Missouri shouldn't be destroyed. They have an underground limestone mine (now mined out) that the city turned into all-season tennis courts. The question in my mind remains: If you hit the roof when serving, is that a roof fault? The US Tennis Association rules don't tell anything about hitting overhead roofs on a serve.

When they answer my question, we can nuke Carthage from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.......

[media]

[Elliot]

...
Oh, by the way, Carthage, Missouri shouldn't be destroyed. ...

Of course not. I was referring to ancient Carthage in North Africa. A famous Roman, Cato The Elder, used to end all his speeches with "In closing, Carthage must be destroyed". It was Carthaginians vs Romans in those days. The Romans did attack, and wiped Carthage off the map.

(Edit to add Cato's name.)

[magicmarty]

I played tennis on those underground tennis courts in Carthage in about 1995. Not sure, but I think I won. The ceilings were very high, however, if on serve, the ball hits the ceiling and rebounds into the proper service court, it is a let and one may serve again. If the ball does not go into the proper service court after hitting the ceiling, it is a fault.

ASD, that fog came quickly and left almost as quickly.

Cheers,

[^Rhino!]

"I played tennis on those underground tennis courts in Carthage in about 1995. Not sure, but I think I won. The ceilings were very high, however, if on serve, the ball hits the ceiling and rebounds into the proper service court, it is a let and one may serve again. If the ball does not go into the proper service court after hitting the ceiling, it is a fault."

Are those the rules accepted by the United States Tennis Association? I just looked at their website, and alas, no such correlative.

In any case, magic marty.....I've seen the inside of those courts, too...and there are no faults attributable to the ceiling. My geologic examination told me so. (**a playful grin spreads wide across Rhino's face as he rubs his hands together with glee**)

Sorry, magic marty, I've been waiting 10 years to tell that awful joke and you bit like a sunfish going after a minnow.

[lucky420]

wanders in, makes hot water.........

yeah, gotta get my yearly blood test today, so have to fast until then.........yum, hot water............

*shuffles over to ROS*

Hi Marty! "groovey".......hahahaa "use a pun, go to prison"..........

Bet your test came back as "hot blooded"

[ygmir]

well Lucky..........I forgot until about 1 pm to go......so had fasted for 16 hours. I was a little cranky. and the gal got half the draw, and moved the needle and lost the vein, so moved over to the other arm, and poked and prodded..........never, have I had anyone have a hard time drawing blood or finding veins. My confidence is a little shaky now, in her.........and of course, a urine test, which I did not think of, and had not drank water either..........so, they'll probably think I'm in 3rd stage kidney failure.........hahaaaaa

...

yeah, gotta get my yearly blood test today,...



...

That reminds me; I am due for my semen test -- to make sure there is no sperm in it. Had a vasectomy 30 years ago, but since the body is designed to heal itself, it is possible for the vas to grow back together. (Yeah, I know, TMI for some of you.
But birth control is kind'a important, methinks.)

seems, Elliot, you could just do a mass mailing, assuming you keep email addresses of your court........if none respond with a positive paternal answer, your chances are probably one in many hundreds, that you are still shootin blanks............


yeah re-grooving: I saw one vid of a guy doing it with a chainsaw..now, that seems up my alley!!

Rhino: please watch the aneurysm thing. It killed my step dad. but he had a smaller event in his early 60's where it tore, but not enough to kill him, just to put him in the hospital for 45 days while they figured what was wrong. several mis-diagnosis later, he had healed on his own, they proclaimed him cured of the rupture, and sent him home.....

[FIGJAM]

Regrooves in the shape of "The Man" so you'll be easy to track!!!

[magicmarty]

I stand "gotten", Rhino. Rule interpretation is my own, USTA be damned.

Chain saw vasectomy! Yikes!!!

[Elliot]

People who build show cars have been known to buy racing slicks and cut their own tread pattern, such as the name of the car.

In the old days, there was a tire called Non-skid, and that's what the tread said. They are being reproduced now.

[theCryptofishist]

Chain saw vasectomy!

My new band name!

[magicmarty]

Fishy, I'm flattered!!

[Aurelia]

Whew !

it's getting brutal

think I will stay home baking buche de Noel .

xoA.

[delle]

the dreaded colonoscopy

If we could all just stop dreading this thing maybe more people would be inclined to get it done.

It's actually a very easy and comfortable procedure and the best damned tv viewing you'll ever see. The trick to it remaining pleasant actually rests in the using of baby wipes rather than toilet paper during the prep to avoid chafing.



...and of course the baby wipes go in the garbage can. (got to remember where I am)

[ygmir]

Chain saw vasectomy!

My new band name!

Fishy, I'm flattered!!

well, at that thought I'd say "Fishy, I'm flaccid". .........but to each their own, MM!!

[ygmir]

wow, great morning conversation!!! start the day off right!!

Hi DElle!!!!

Merry xmas eve, eve everyone!!!!

[lucky420]

Good Morning Bar.

Early rising ygmir?

Morning delle

[ygmir]

dp

[ygmir]

Good Morning Bar.

Early rising ygmir?

Morning delle

like morning bread........no, wait bred, buns? wait, biscuits....?, hold on, *takes yeast*.......consider me unleavened, well, and really un bred............wait. uh, ..

*searching for reset button on "pun o matic"*..........

[^Rhino!]

Pun-o-matic?

I guess that the skill of punsterism, that holy set of skills that you could drive through is now automated. Damn. Drive-through puns.

ygmir, thanks for telling me to keep a close eye on the AAA. It's good reinforcemt for something I'm already doing. Much appreciated.

delle - I'm not a fan of the colonoscopy that's done by the University here. They use the LARGE tube, and it hurts. I felt like I'd arrived at prison when it was over with. No fun, but I'll do it again in a heartbeat to protect the priceless Rhino. We're endangered, you know.

Crypto: love the new band name. I'm still waiting for sufficient geologist/musician types to start our band, to be called "Orogeny". One potential name for our first album, "Overthrust".

aserendipity: Vive la pannierie! Buche de Noel est superbe! NPR did a special article on them yesterday, and in Paris, 'tis the season!

Note on chainsaws: The most insane thing I ever heard of was when a contractor in Kansas City used one to attempt to cut into a high-pressure gas main just to 'see what was in it'. One of his crew hit the 'stop' button before he succeeded. If that crewmember hadn't.......there would have been a dead contractor.

[magicmarty]

New band name "Flaccid Fish"

Morning all. Delivering some gifts to a friend's kids this morning and then tomorrow a group of us will be on the street across from Glide Church in the Tenderloin handing out clothes that we've collected to folks that can use them.

This effort was organized by a Burner friend who has been doing it for the past 10 years. We'll be setting up a couple of tables on the street and gifting from there. We'll be there on Ellis between Taylor and Jones from about 1 - 3 PM. tomorrow Christmas Eve. If you're in the neighborhood stop by and say hi.

Cheers

[Elliot]

About colonoscopy. I had one a year or two ago, and it was a breeze. They put me completely under, with something intravenous that I didn't even notice, and when I woke up I had absolutely zero discomfort. In fact, I felt fabulous, and I wondered when they were going to start. (I suspect I was a little bit "high" from whatever it was they gave me.)
So the only discomfort was the fasting, and that was actually a great benefit (since I'm a bit too tubby). And I don't remember any significant problem caused by the "cleansing chemicals" I had to drink.
So... colonoscopy is highly recommended! Tumors or polyps or whatnot are rather common in us older folks, and you want to catch those right away, before they become serious and kill us.

[Elliot]

As for checking the sperm count (which in my case should be zero), so far as I know this is done simply with a microscope. Anybody know for sure? I have long wished to own a microscope for various "investigations", so maybe I should start shopping for one.

Vasectomy is also highly recommended. It is simply the best birth control method.
I have a friend who happened upon a lonely (and lovely) young lady when he was 54 and she was 24. Next thing he knew, he had two new children that he had not exactly intended. He adores all three of them, but the work-load of raising two children all over again at his age is wearing him out at double the normal rate.

[ygmir]

About colonoscopy. I had one a year or two ago, and it was a breeze. They put me completely under, with something intravenous that I didn't even notice, and when I woke up I had absolutely zero discomfort. In fact, I felt fabulous, and I wondered when they were going to start. (I suspect I was a little bit "high" from whatever it was they gave me.)
So the only discomfort was the fasting, and that was actually a great benefit (since I'm a bit too tubby). And I don't remember any significant problem caused by the "cleansing chemicals" I had to drink.
So... colonoscopy is highly recommended! Tumors or polyps or whatnot are rather common in us older folks, and you want to catch those right away, before they become serious and kill us.

indeed!!
Bonus if you wake up to a stack of dollar bills.

[Dr. Pyro]

Bonus if you wake up to a stack of dollar bills.

Today would be a good day for that. The Dow Jones Industrial Average has risen about the 18,000 mark for the first time in history, and currently sits at 18059.98 up 100.47 points. Best way to get rid of the bumps in a lumpy mattress is to surround them with dollar bills I always say.