Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akward gu

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reader2580
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Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akward gu

Post by reader2580 » Sun Dec 21, 2014 4:40 pm

Some friends of mine have indicated a desire to someday attend Burning Man. I'm wondering how I would do at Burning Man as a shy, socially akward guy? I don't drink and I don't go to bars or anything of the like. I also don't typically stay up too late at night. My friends would fit right in at Burning Man. It seems like this might be the year to try Burning Man since fuel prices might still be low by then. I haven't talked to my friends yet.

My friends and I have been going out to the Playa since 2002 so we are no strangers to the Playa. We even made the 4,000 mile round trip twice in 2013. I have a converted bus that has been to the Playa nine times now. It was designed in many ways specifically for the Playa. Everything we bring is brought with an eye to the possible weather conditions we might see, especially wind. I have a commercial type party canopy that so far has survived 30 to 40 miles an hour winds out there and made it through some of dust devil event that tore up all the EZ-UPs others had. It helps that we set up our camp with the wind in mind and use the bus to block the wind. None of our shade stuff is nearly as designed for the wind as what I see here.

I have gotten some good ideas for Playa camping from browsing Eplaya. We bring a powerful drill and a 36" drill bit to pre-drill for the 40" stakes for my party canopy.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Captain Goddammit » Sun Dec 21, 2014 5:31 pm

Well you sound like the best prepared guy for Burning Man I ever heard of!
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by burner von braun » Sun Dec 21, 2014 6:00 pm

Hi reader2580!

Like the Captain said, it sounds like you're headed on the right track as far as infrastructure, and you have plenty of time until September to make any necessary tweeks to your setup. Meanwhile, here is a good thread for shy people to read if you haven't already.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=45094

..and mostly, just ease back and don't pressure yourself. There will be lots of friendly types of burners there, from all walks of life. I've never been anywhere in my life where people are less judgmental of others than at Burning Man.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by theCryptofishist » Sun Dec 21, 2014 6:05 pm

You're borrowing trouble. You'll be fine. Even if not, you'll know.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Elderberry » Sun Dec 21, 2014 6:47 pm

The simple answer is yes. There is as much to do during the day as there is to do in the evening, so you don't have to worry about missing your bedtime, assuming noise doesn't bother you.

But, I'll bet, that no matter how shy you are, or how early you usually go to bed, you'll find things that you just can't pass up. So you'll find yourself changing up your schedule because you want to, not because you have to.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by reader2580 » Sun Dec 21, 2014 7:29 pm

I feel like I wouldn't be prepared infrastructure wise after reading about everyone bringing monkey huts, swamp coolers, and everything else. My party tent has never been tested in the 40 to 60 MPH winds like are not that uncommon on the Playa. My guess is it has been in winds maybe 30 to 40 MPH. I've spent a total of almost two full months on the Playa over the years and only one day did it actually rain. It wasn't a storm like Burning Man this year, but just enough to make the ground wet and makes things miserable. It rained more near 12 mile and at least one vehicle got stuck.

I'm not sure if enough of my friends would really want to go to make the trip possible. Four is the minimum just to have enough drivers and more is better. We have a scheduling issue because we would need to turn around and head back to the Playa two or maybe three weeks after getting back from BM.

I'm wondering if my generator would be too loud even though it is way quieter than any construction generator. It is mounted in the vehicle, but I might be able to build a baffle anyhow. Normally at my other event the generator doesn't bother anyone. Often, I can't hear the generator because someone is running a construction generator 100 yards away that is much noisier. In the past we have not run the generator at night as it cools down enough to sleep.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by theCryptofishist » Sun Dec 21, 2014 7:37 pm

You're fussing. If your friends bail out, you can find other people who do want to go. Especially if you start now.

Are you asking us to talk you out of going, or to talk you into it? I can do either one. (to some extent.) I assume that you want us to talk you into it, because you are on this board, but if you're not serious, there's no point in having someone else get into the ticketing frenzy.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by reader2580 » Mon Dec 22, 2014 1:48 pm

I think it would fun to go to Burning Man once, but I am concerned I might not enjoy it. I really wouldn't know until I do it once. I would feel guilty about taking up a ticket if I didn't like it.

I'll have to talk to my friends and see if anyone is really interested. Who knows if we could even buy tickets.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Elderberry » Mon Dec 22, 2014 2:04 pm

Usually, people that I've seen leave early saying they hate it almost always has to do with the weather. Too hot, too cold, the wind and white outs, rain, etc. You already know about the environment, so you have nothing left not to like.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Savannah » Mon Dec 22, 2014 4:07 pm

I assume you've read the Tips for Shy People at Burning Man thread. If not, please do.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=45094

The fact that you're not much of a night owl may work in your favor. It's somehow easier to meet people or wander into welcoming camps in the daytime. With nightfall people can be a little more bundled against both the cold and against collecting new acquaintances (in my experience). I am never lonely during the day . . . so much to see and do. At night, I have felt it to be a little different, until the day I started slowly making and keeping Burner friends (but your mileage may vary). So if offered an invitation to wander at night, take it. Or extend one to someone who looks lonely.

Counting on friends to go with you can result in disappointment, so be ready emotionally and financially for people not to commit, or for people to drop out of the trip by June. Have a Plan A & a Plan B, at least. (It is more expensive and more time-consuming to prepare than most first-timers imagine--until they are deeply mired in it. :) )

Oh, and if you don't run your generator all the time (especially not all night) and its sound has been muffled, it's probably going to be fine.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Lonesomebri » Mon Dec 22, 2014 4:37 pm

From what it sounds like, you won't be able to survive without someone like me, well, let's just make that *me*, helping to sponge off....I mean, help you out.

I'm shy and awkward, but, then, I do have anger to help carry me thru. I camp in a tent tied to my truck so it doesn't blow away. If it's not your generator annoying me, it's gonna be someone elses. So you miss the late show, the day has 24 hours. My friend doesn't even realize that there is a daytime a.m. on the clock, he has no idea everything he is missing early in the morning out on the playa. And you say you have already camped out on the playa? What the hell. You will kick ass. The best people worry, the incompetents never do. Get your tickets. See ya in the dust.

As an aside, I first read this comment-
until the day I started slowly making and keeping Burner friends
from S. as, "until the day I started slowly naked..." and with that, felt the rising spirit of the holidays.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by theCryptofishist » Mon Dec 22, 2014 7:36 pm

Seriously, you're interested, try it out. Everyone has to have a first burn, you aren't obliged to like it. You'll never know if you don't try.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by danibel » Mon Dec 22, 2014 7:45 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Seriously, you're interested, try it out. Everyone has to have a first burn, you aren't obliged to like it. You'll never know if you don't try.

I like this the best. I say the burn is good for anyone that wants to try. If you get out there and set up and after a while, hate it, leave! Plenty of people do that. Some people go one year and never go again. Others haven't stopped going from their first year on (like me).
In dust we trust.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Bless » Tue Dec 23, 2014 8:37 pm

Only one way to find out: buy the ticket, take the ride.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by trilobyte » Tue Dec 23, 2014 8:51 pm

It sure can be. Read the Tips For Shy People at Burning Man thread (I'd link it, but it's a sticky topic in this specific forum, you had to have already passed it on your way to reading through this board before posting).

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by maladroit » Thu Dec 25, 2014 12:56 am

You get the burn that you need, not the one you want. Too much raw energy floating around for that not to happen. Sort of like jumping into deep water to see if you can swim.

It might hurt you even deeper in the place that you wanted to fix, but at the same time heal something you didn't know was broken.

Just go with a mental notecard, look at it when your plans begin to fall apart...the card says "OK, I guess we're doing THIS now. Cool."

Immediacy isn't just a suggestion, it's the best way to survive the week.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by GreyCoyote » Thu Dec 25, 2014 5:10 am

maladroit wrote:Immediacy isn't just a suggestion, it's the best way to survive the week.
Totally sig-worthy.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Captain Goddammit » Thu Dec 25, 2014 7:42 am

I'll answer this question directly with no psycho-babble.

Yes. You will like it!

That's why the tickets sell out as fast as the system can process the orders!

Here's the deal: You can have drunk, wild, techno dance party Burning Man or quiet, peaceful beautiful Burning Man - or anything in between. All you have to do is hang out at the places you like.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Elderberry » Thu Dec 25, 2014 2:15 pm

maladroit wrote:...Sort of like jumping into deep water to see if you can swim....
I was given that advice once before. Let's just say I'm glad there was an attentive lifeguard on duty that day.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by maladroit » Fri Dec 26, 2014 1:53 am

You just need balance, the razor edge between paradoxes. Be courteous and considerate to your neighbor, but don't give a fuck what they think about you. Receive gifts gracefully, but don't take from anyone. Accept help when offered, but rely on yourself. Plan carefully, but be spontaneous.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Elliot » Fri Dec 26, 2014 7:44 am

Can you repair bicycles?

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by lucky420 » Fri Dec 26, 2014 8:30 am

maladroit wrote:You just need balance, the razor edge between paradoxes. Be courteous and considerate to your neighbor, but don't give a fuck what they think about you. Receive gifts gracefully, but don't take from anyone. Accept help when offered, but rely on yourself. Plan carefully, but be spontaneous.

Perfect
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by tamarakay » Fri Dec 26, 2014 9:55 am

Elliot wrote:Can you repair bicycles?
Best response ever.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by reader2580 » Fri Dec 26, 2014 9:29 pm

Savannah wrote: Counting on friends to go with you can result in disappointment, so be ready emotionally and financially for people not to commit, or for people to drop out of the trip by June. Have a Plan A & a Plan B, at least. (It is more expensive and more time-consuming to prepare than most first-timers imagine--until they are deeply mired in it. :) )
Everyone that I would ask to go to Burning Man has already been to the Playa a number of times. They already have everything they need to survive on the Playa. Heck, we've made the trip so many times that packing is almost automatic now. A lot of the gear stays in the luggage bays of my bus for the next trip. Seven of us went out this past Fall and five of us have been going since at least 2006 and all but one person had gone before.

I'll have to see if enough want to go to make the trip work. The biggest hurdle would be getting tickets for everyone. It would suck to only get two or three tickets when we really need more people to make the trip work.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by reader2580 » Fri Dec 26, 2014 9:31 pm

Elliot wrote:Can you repair bicycles?
Yes, actually I can. I've even built an entire touring bicycle from the frame up once. It has been a long time since I did major bicycle repairs, but I can still do the basics for sure. I would have to relearn some of the stuff.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Elliot » Fri Dec 26, 2014 10:46 pm

reader2580 wrote:
Elliot wrote:Can you repair bicycles?
Yes, actually I can. I've even built an entire touring bicycle from the frame up once. It has been a long time since I did major bicycle repairs, but I can still do the basics for sure. I would have to relearn some of the stuff.
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Bless » Sat Dec 27, 2014 1:29 am

reader2580 wrote:We even made the 4,000 mile round trip twice in 2013.
Might I ask why you drove 4,000 miles to and from the playa but did not attend the event?
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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by maladroit » Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:43 am

Bless wrote:
reader2580 wrote:We even made the 4,000 mile round trip twice in 2013.
Might I ask why you drove 4,000 miles to and from the playa but did not attend the event?
*Twice :?

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by reader2580 » Sat Dec 27, 2014 5:18 am

Bless wrote:
reader2580 wrote:We even made the 4,000 mile round trip twice in 2013.
Might I ask why you drove 4,000 miles to and from the playa but did not attend the event?
Our group goes to other events out on the Playa. The event we attend every year is several weeks after Burning Man.

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Re: Is Burning Man the right place for a shy, socially akwar

Post by Captain Goddammit » Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:08 am

Are you a rocketeer?!! Do tell... Burners love all manner of cool stuff.
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